Faked Out Sports / B in T
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FOS Notes ’bout nuthin
Is Trump Really Getting his Ass Impeached and Who has the Democratic Balls 🏀to Run Against Trumper??
Using a sports and Halloween twist here is a political thought or two!! This commentary is paid for by Trumpkin Man for President 2020
Although very sick, It seems like you must be a womanizer and be accused of belittling women to be in the Presidential office!! The exception would be Obama who did nothing to women and in the presidential office! So there are no good candidates for Prez! Democrats Snow Biden and the 7 dwarfs lose polling points every time they debate!! God Help us!! Trump will be in Federal Prison or hiding in a Russian mansion by 2020 so that leaves only one candidate!! TRUMPKIN MAN!!
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Why Pumpkin Man for Prez 2020?
He is very evasive from the police and the media!! Perfect fit!
Not sure of his sexuality! The Transgender vote will be for Pumpkin Man!! A perfect fit!
Trumpkin Man has friends in very scary places!! No need for Secret Service dudes, when you are best friends with Jason, Michael Meyers, Herman Munster, Leatherface, Jeepers Creepers dude, Casper, It, and the original Count Dracula!! Pumpkin Man has all these dudes and many other creepers on speed dial!!
This bit was paid for by TMFP 2020!!
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FOS Bowl Predictions
Pumpkin Man spotted in another Oklahoman's pro topless march on Riverside Drive!!
Numerous joggers on Riverside Drive, some topless, some not topless, and some toothless stated they saw Pumpkin Man fishing off the riverbank at 21st Street!! The Tulsa PD could not find any 🐾Pumpkin Man footprints but did find a gentleman winky tinking in the river!! Pumpkin Man again hides in the dark shadows of Tulsa!!
FOS Bubblehead Sports!
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Halloween Bobbleheads Do’s and Don’ts When Trick or Treating!!
- Don't say ’trick or treat, smell my feet’ and stick your bare feet in the candy bowl!
- Don't accidentally put your hand down a hot mom’s frontal area when reaching for candy!! This can get you grounded, arrested or a smile!!👀🎃👀🎃👀🎃
- Never take Papas, Mimis, or any old farts trick or treating!! They slow you down, break wind and eat your MFing candy!!
- Never go for an early dinner to Casa Burritolata before trick or treating!!
- If you wear black make sure you have a preppy runner safe reflector on so the auto can see you just before they hit you! Seriously don't wear black and don't wear your mom or dads, stupid runner reflector!! They suck trust B in T!!
Be careful, have fun and Trick or Treaters: BEWARE OF THE PUMPKIN MAN!!
2nd Grade Jenks Maroon 24 at Glenpool White 0
Beautiful day in Glenpool, the little Warriors are new from the GFFL (Glenpool Flag Football League). There was a slight issue when the Glenpool team kept grabbing at the Warrior pants and initiating some skirmishes with an angry Jenks quarterback!! All ended with the team's sharing orange slices!!
3rd Grade Pryor 19 at Claremore 6
The Pryor toddlers were very excited to travel to visit Claremore in the team Suburbans!! After the game, the team was taken to DQ for shakes and on to visit the Blue Whale!! The Pryor dads wanted a team picture so the Tigers climbed on top of the Blue Whale!! Some of the young men jumped off the whale into the water, which was a no-no!! Blue Whale security (I want that job) then escorted the team to the Claremore county line!! Moms were furious and handled the punishment!!
FOS College Picks!
Oklahoma 52 at Kansas State 20
The Sooner team was somewhat sad since Coach Snyder and Coach Stoops were at the so called glue factory of college coaches in retirement! (playing with grandkids and coaching in the XFL!) The Sooners snapped out of the first half lull and scored 5 touchdowns in the second half!! Heisman Hurts scored two touchdowns rushing, two touchdowns passing and one touchdown while ordering nachos with extra peppers!! The town of Manhattan, Kansas is not known as a party town due to the large number of church revivals!! OU reserve kicker Calum Sutherland has been known for public streaking and a few weeks ago he received a public disturbance ticket in Norman!! If he were to streak in Mahnhattan, Kansas no one would notice!! Good move coach Riley!! Let the OU party boys party in Kansas!! I have dropped the microphone!! 🎤
Tulsa 38 Memphis 35
The TU marketing group landed SNOOP DOG (no shat!) for the pregame Tailgate Extravaganza! Snoop was hesitant until he discovered that Tulsa leads the nation in Cannabis Dispensaries per square mile!! Snoop himself will open a Dispensary Outlet Mall by The Hills in south Tulsa!! A great concert for Rizzle my Dizzles!!!
A number of the college talking heads have stated that the Memphis pussycats should be a 17 point favorite over my ’Cane!! To these so called experts, I say back of the crack pipe!! Tulsa football has something the Tulsa fans have been missing for ten years........DEFENSE!! The Memphis Pussycats have an offense that is loaded but TU has a defense that is big, fast and athletic!! Numerous fans for TU and Memphis were at adjoining tailgate parties at the University U, west of Chapman Stadium! A couple of the Memphis Tigercat Club ladies accidentally flipped a wadd of Caviar in a TU ladies Natty Light beer causing a rumble between a couple of upset AARP husbands!! All the fake husband fighting ceased when a Memphis fan offered the TU fans Caviar on the house!!
Oklahoma State 38 at Iowa State 31
These teams fought their brains out to win this game!! The winner will be looking at a sweet bowl game that is not described with a weed eater or a lawn fertilizer! The loser will be scrambling for a low-level bowl named after a Scrub N Bubbles product!! OSU offense, with Chuba Cabre heading at the two-thousand yards rushing, is too much for the Clone defense!! The Clones QB Brock Purdy came up short to tie the game when he fumbled the ball at the half-inch yard line!! Purdy was in turdy mood for the post-game press conference!!
Alabama 56 Arkansas 27
Coach Grumpy of Alabama was very upset after his reserve defenders gave up 20 points in the 4th quarter! He made the reserves walk back to their dorms with their full uniforms and helmets so no one could see their faces!! Similar to the Persians against Sparta!!
Northwestern 24 Iowa 17
Northwestern and Iowa have huge support from their alumni associations and will continue to beat up on other Big 10 conference teams till the 🐂cows come home!! As the overrated teams of the Big 10 scuttle, King Ohio State will win the conference by a landslide!!
Notre Dame 31 at Michigan 27
The Wolverines fly sweep offense is becoming fly swatted by Big 10 defenses weekly!! Notre Dame coach Kelly has national champion talent with a high school coaching staff! Notre Dame does have enough talent and coaching to beat Coach Khaki pants at Michigan!!
Texas 36 at TCU 31
A Longhorn steer versus a bullfrog does not seem like much of a fight but if the steer has a brain the size of a Hotwheels ball bearing and the frog's brain is the size of a walnut then we have a fight!! Google that shat!!! An untouched Texas QB Sam Ellinger strikes a Heisman pose just before the endzone and fumbles the ball out of the end zone!! No touchdown Sammy!! Texas offense is still good!!
Michigan State 27 Penn State 10
Michigan States veteran defense coupled with the slow and average Nittany Lion offense left the crowd in East Lansing excited that the game was finally over!!
Utah 38 California 30
The Utes and the Golden Bears duked it out in Salt Lake City, Utah!! Many readers have a question regarding what a Ute is? In the 1860s these Native Americans lived in the Utah and Colorado area and were best known for being the first Native Americans to have there own horses!! The Golden Bear of California is a giant gold bear which became extinct in the western United States in the 1850s thanks to the Cowboys and the Utes!! Thus I have picked the Utes to beat the Golden Bears by 8!! Reference: Wikipedia it! (hehehe)
Texas A&M 38 Mississippi State 28
The Aggie mascot dog Reveille was cited by the College Station Police Department, for ripping out the throat of a Bulldog Male Cheerleader!! Fortunately, paramedics were able to put the ripped out juggler back in his throat in minutes thus saving his life!! Reveille was only given a citation by the C.S.P.D. and a standing ovation by the Kyle Field crowd!! Bad doggie, bad, bad doggie!!
LSU 52 Auburn 46
The game was a discrimination to the SEC due to the lack of defense by both teams!! The Southeastern Conference Board of Trustees had an emergency meeting at the Pebble Beach Golf Club in California!! A decision on whether or not to allow LSU and Auburn to continue in the SEC in 2020 was tabled until the SEC Spring Meeting at Southern Hills Country Club in Tulsa, Oklahoma!!
Ohio State 42 Wisconsin 31
The Buckeyes and their super stud Quarterback Justin Fields ran and threw for 502 yards and 4 touchdowns!! Ohio State’s defensive line had some trouble with Johnathon Taylor’s jukes and speed to the tone of 202 yards!! The Buckeyes look very strong for the final four National Champion Playoff!
FOS High School Picks!
Owasso 45 at Mustang 13
Owasso Coach Bill Blankenship has agreed to play a home and away series with the Rutgers Scarlet Knights of the Big 10!! In August of 2020, the Scarlet Knights will play at Owasso and in 2021 the Rams head to Piscataway, New Jersey to play Rutgers!! The Ram players and coaches, headed by Coach Antonio Graham will have 13 fundraisers between this summer and August 2021!! The team and coaches will fly Delta and stay at the Ramada Inn in Piscataway, New Jersey!! Coach Graham purchasedl 35,000 dollars of Blue Gold Sausage to begin this major endeavor!! True Story!! Google it!!
Bixby 48 Sand Springs 16
The Spartans are headed to a historic season!! Next year they will be bumped to 6Al from 6All where they have dominated!! Numerous college programs have been sniffing around Bixby trying to get an accidental meeting with Coach Loren Montgomery!!! Coach Montgomery is flattered by the attention but insists he will not make a move from Bixby!! His family sod farm and pumpkin 🎃patch is a reason he will not move to any school without a sod farm!!
Collinsville 30 Pryor 25
The Collinsville Cardinals and the Pryor Tigers played a haymaker of a game Friday night! This rivalry makes the two towns basically close down all-day Friday game day!! Both teams are not allowed to converse with females all week before games!! No interviews!! No caffeine! No smoking or drinking, in moderation only! Football and school only!! No spicy Mexican food!! Needless to say the Cardinals and Tigers were ready to play Friday!!
Cushing 38 Harrah 23
The Cushing coaches were feeling a little frisky and allowed my big offensive lineman nephew Lukus to play blocking back on goal-line formations towards the end of the game!! In practice Lukus only blocked in this formation so when his number was called to run with the pigskin he was hesitant!! During the timeout the coach pulled over Lukus and told him chicks dig dudes who score touchdowns!! Lukus went back to the huddle and took the handoff and plunged into the end zone!! The team and cheerleaders swarmed young Lukus and woke him up just in time for his gameday omelet from mom!! Oh the dreams of touchdowns and sugar plum fairies for us O-Lineman!!!
Union 46 Norman North 27
Union let Notman North close but just far enough away to be comfy!!
Mount St. Mary, OKC 41 Blackwell 20
The Blackwell team was very excited to get on the team bud and travel to OKC!! The team went to a new In-N-Out burger place in OKC!! The burgers were earth-shattering but the team was 10 minutes late for the game!!
Jenks 52 at Norman 7
Although the Trojans are somewhat down this year so they went to the west side and took out their season frustrations on the Norman Tigers!!
Coweta 41 at Hale 12
Coweta Tigers unleash their ground game on the smaller Ranger defense for 404 yards rushing!!
Ada 32 at Bishop Kelley 31
Bishop Kelley has always been Ada’s little engine that cannot beat them!! Dating back to the early 2000s BK has had trouble beating the powerfull Cougars! Ada stormed in to 41st and Hudson and kick 32 yard field goal that sent the Prassa Stadium crowd home in tears!!
Cascia Hall 27 at Locust Grove 20
The Commandos received two questionable pass interference calls which made the home crowd Pirates very disappointed and angry!! Numerous Locust Grove folks took some pies from the football bake sale and unloaded them on the head referee!! Numerous flags were thrown but the game had been over for 5 minutes!!
FOS Mom O Meter Locust Grove Mom’s .964 Cascia.960
This giant showdown Thursday between the city Cascia moms and the Locust Grove country moms came down to a 8 on 8 tug a war!! The 8 Locust Grove tuggers outweighed the 8 Cascia tuggers by a total of 225 pounds!! The Grove Tuggers pulled the Lady Commandos across the mud in 25 seconds!! Cascia moms would not allow pictures from the Locust Grove Gazzette!!
FOS Diner of the Week— The French Market and Tavern A couple from Pittsburg, PA sold their successful restaurants and bought this restaurant in downtown Locust Grove in 2018!! Why? The New Orleans style food is delicious and can be very spicy!! Southern Living and numerous Pittsburg Steeler players have visited this 4-star restaurant in Locust Grove, Oklahoma!!
Broken Arrow 62 Yukon 12
Broken Arrow police and fire put on a show of lights after each touchdown!! The Broken Arrow police were concerned about the over usage of the sirens causing the siren noise to sound like a Daft Punk song and causing a mosh pit among students!! True story!! Wikipedia it!!
Muskogee 36 BTW 32
Muskogee may be the new king if 6All football in 2020 with Bixby leaving to 6AI and BTW coming down to the rest of the class!!
Tonkawa 45 Barnsdall 0
The Buccaneers are getting their playoff tuxedos ready for some action in 3 weeks!! Tonkawa offense is lethal with quarterback Billy Bob Nagurski, Bronco Nagurski’s great-grandson, in control of the Buckaneer offense!
FOS NFL Picks!
Patriots 31 Browns 21
Patriots superstar QB Tom Brady and a junior superstar in the making, Baker Mayfield for the Browns had dinner Saturday in Boston at a posh restaurant called Electra Mule Kicker!
Paparazzi from all of Boston were there to see who picked up the check!!
Chiefs 38 Packers 24
With Tyreek Hill back at full speed the Cheifs are more lethal than Patrick Mahones singing with the Bee Gees!! ’Stayin Alive’!!
Saints 38 Cardinals 20
Saints have played well without Drew Brees but when the automatic Hall of Famer came back, all of the pistons of the Lambrigini are in the correct position!! Cardinal Quarterback Kyler Murray was the first QB that Drew Brees did not have to look up to when shaking hands after the game!!
Texans 27 Raiders 18
Coach Gruden throws a huge hissy fit when another one on his linebackers was suspended for the season for targeting a defenseless human being!! To show the referee, Gruden reenacted using the head referee as the defenseless wide receiver!! Gruden hit the head ref square in the head and both had to be put into concussion protocol!! True shat!!
Words of Wisdom from the unwise one!! Do not speed on Halloween night!! Be safe!! 👻👻👻👻👻👻
Have a great sports week!!
B in T/FOS
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Chris Taylor, sports writer FanSided
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