FOS/B in T
FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM
🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃
Pumpkin Man imitator caught flashing southside Tulsa at Woodland Hills Mall portable booth dispensary!!
🎃Tulsa Police were summoned to a portable dispensary at Woodland Hills Mall where a man with a plastic pumpkin man mask and a trenchcoat was accused of flashing female shoppers!! The world of high school twitter blew up as 20,000 high school students from Oklahoma headed to the Mall to see if it was the real pumpkin man and to see if he was handing out edibles!! The students left Woodland Hills empty-handed with the real Pumpkin Man still in hiding!! The fake Pumpkin Man left Woodland Hills in handcuffs!!
🎃Later that day the real Pumpkin Man was evidently spotted at Life Church in Bixby on the giant screen with Reverend Craig Groeschel handing out edibles for medical purposes only!! The scene went viral on twitter and 30,000 high schoolers from Skiatook to Liberty Mounds showed up for free samples from Pumpkin 🎃🎃🎃🎃Man!! The Bixby Police directed traffic as Pumpkin Man escaped in the Munster Koach Mobile!! True story, Wikipedia it!!
FOS Notes ’bout Nuthin:
LETTERS TO EDITOR:
Questions often asked Faked Out Sports readers and creator!
Why do you read this crap?
A. Entertaining!
B. Helps with my morning constitution!
C. Bobbleheads section!
Why is B in T so homer bias?
A. Welcome to Oklahoma!
B. All sports writer wanna be’s are homers deep, deep down!
C. For my great readers! All 13!
Why do you write this shat?!
A. Helps my stroke recovery!
B. Love sports!!
C. Hopefully can make someone smile who might have a bad day!
Why is there so much TU bias?
A. Many of my 13 readers are TU grads!!
B. There are slightly over 2,000 media outlets for OU, OSU and Arkansas, why not let TU have a wittle, bitty piece of the bias pie?
Touchdown B in T!
C. I spent the best 5.5 years of my life getting my undergrad degree at 11th and Harvard!!
Is There An Alternative To The Booger McFarlane Dude On Monday Night Football? Please Espn Gods?
Here are a few FOS suggestions:
- Ryan on Kids Videos, great in front of the camera!
- Every female sports announcer that has ever had a breath would be better than Bugar and a fresh change for ESPN!!
- Pumpkin Man, why not!
- Tulsa’s KOTV Sports Director John ’Polo Shirt’ Holcomb!
- OU Sideline Reporter and Fox Radio Superstar Chris ’Walk The Plank’ Plank!
- Tulsa’s Cayden McFarlane, KJRH Superstar Sports Director
- Anchorman - Will Ferrell
- Oklahoma City sports anchor God Dean Blevins!!
- Miley Cyrus - my number 1 pick!! Would make the booth more lively and charismatic!! And much prettier!!
Interesting Name!
A player for the Nebraska Cornhuskers is named Decaprio Bootle!! Defensive Back Bootle is a starter and was indeed named after Leonardo Decaprio!!
Poor fellow! Numerous signs stating ’Need more Bootle’ are all over the Nebraska Stadium in Lincoln!!
FOS Bobblehead Sports
The World Is Becoming Different To Us Old Farts!!
B in T went to Ana’s 3-year-old birthday party a couple of weeks ago and heard some interesting conversations about exercising!! CrossBow Fit was discussed by the yuppie moms and I eavesdropped and overheard a ladies description of this new exercise!! Terms like cycling, ball crunching, and sit-ups with 100-pound free weights on your chest continued to be discussed!! Not one sport of bow and arrows or crossbows were mentioned!! Good ole hunting season is how we get our exercise in Blackwell, Oklahoma!! Yuppies are changing Papa’s world!!
AND!! Kale Candy Canes!?!?! Are You Shatting Me?!?! Gag Me With a Smurf!!
2nd Grade TYAA White 20 at Jenks Maroon 12
Jenks Maroon met it match today, with the Tulsa Youth Athletic Association Bulldogs!! These two-second grade powerhouses have more talent and speed than the Miami Dolphins!! Numerous college football scouts were at this game, all the way from Boston College!!
3rd Grade Pryor 25 Grove 0
One of the Pryor assistant coaches has ties with B in T and his 3 years of very amateur sports writing!! Thank you, Mr. Taylor, for giving me the courage to write silly sports stuff and for always being a positive role model for your kids and an old fart sports nerd!! Now back to the little Bobbleheads!! Grove and Pryor have been rivals since the Hatfield and the McCoys, since Texas and Oklahoma football, since the Coyote and the Roadrunner and of course Minnie Pearl and Grannie Clampet!! The Pryor kids entered the game through a giant double-decker inflatable helmet with Halloween music, and a Halloween fog machine!! The Grove squad entered the game in an exact replica of the Munsters Koach (see picture attached)!! This was the auto driven by Mr. and Mrs. Herman Munster in their younger days!! The Pryor little Eddie Munsters beat the Grove little Munsters soundly!!
FOS College Football
Oklahoma 55 West Virginia 20
Oklahoma Heisman Hurts Hurls 3 touchdown passes, Hurdles for 3 touchdown passes, and High tales it out of the post-game press conference with two short answers!! West Virginia transfer from Oklahoma, Austin Kendall was seen begging OU coach Lincoln to consider him for a reverse 6th year transfership portal back to OU in 2020!! B in T actually made this up and there is no such word as transfership portal! Dilly Dilly and don't drink around a Mountaineer and a loaded musket!! No shat brother!!
Auburn 42 at Arkansas 27
Auburn Coach Calzone became so upset with one of his players during a second-half timeout that had his face turned tomato red and and passing out!! A cardiac team from Alabama with 2 doctors and 3 nurses follows him to each road football game in case he has another spaz attack!! Coach Morris is getting some nasty looks from the Hog/Tyson/Wallmart rich alums delegation!! Arkansas Coach Morris has canceled his weekly luncheons with Hoggettes 65 and older Club due to threats of cane beatings at the local Luby’s Cafeteria!!
Cincinnati 39 Tulsa 31
The Golden Hurricane football team continues it's trip to a bowl and six wins!! A win at Cincinnati came up short and the Hurricane Club followers to the big city of the Bengals and the Reds headed out for the bar scene!! After a noon kick-off and a 5:30 dinner at Long John Silvers the Tulsa Golden Hurricane party bus took the somber group to the Yard House bar for their Brew selection of 2,200 beers!! By the time the Happytimers made their decision of beer, it was 8:45 pm and time to head back to nighty night!! Still looking for win 6!!
Oklahoma State 38 Baylor 28
The Gundy Mullet is getting a little rugged looking!! What does Mrs. Gundy think of this David Bowie or Billie Ray Cyrus look!?
Gundy’s Mullet for the team is probably not going well at the family dinner table in Stillwater!! Watch out for a shaved balded headed coach Gundy very soon!! Quarterback Spencer Sanders is the real deal and the 25-year old transfer Brown from Hawaii is having fun as the scout team QB and getting his 3rd degree in Agricultural Management!! Running back Chuba Hubbard is close to a thousand yards rushing after 6 games!! OSU all everything Wideout Tylan Wallace should be on the Cowboy track team!!
Texas A&M 35 at Ole Miss 21
Aggie QB Monds threw for 2 touchdowns and ran 31 yards for another!! A&M cheerleaders were doing a power triple lutz cheer while the Rebel cheerleaders were doing the exact same routine!! This caused both squads to come face to face at midfield for a cheer off at which time the head linesman referee interrupted and told the squads they had 10 seconds to get off the field!!
Kansas State 42 TCU 20
Wildcat coach Klieman put the Horny toads away with their tough defense and ball control offense!!
Iowa State 32 at Texas Tech 31
The Clones get a big road victory against the Red Raiders in Lubbock!! The Cyclone fans were shocked when the daughter of famed Morganna, the kissing bandit of the 70s and 80s, jumped out of the Texas Tech stadium and planted one on Coach Matt Campbell’s cheek!! The young lady known simply as Morgan, was tackled by 10 campus police armed with cameras!!
LSU 52 Mississippi State 22
The Tiger’s offense is as potent as it's defense and is headed for the CFB championship series l!! The LSU QB, Joe Burrow, has passed for more touchdown passes in 6 games than LSU QBs have in the past 4 years!! True fact, Google it!
Penn State 27 Michigan 14
Michigan Coach Kahki is said to be first in line for 6 different NFL positions once fired by the Wolverine big shots!! This would be 5 more NFL offers than skinny jeans Kliff Kingsbury had with the Phoenix Cardinals!!
Washington 41 Oregon 35
Washington Huskies home crowd stymied the Oregon team by having a giant sign that said NIKE SUCKS in the student section!! Students were immediately reprimanded be the school athletic director when it was discovered that all the athletes for Washington wore Nike shoes except the rowing teams!!
Washington State 45 Colorado 32
The Buffaloes were simply chewed up and spit out by the Cougars!!
Memphis 52 Tulane 28
The Memphis Tigers routed the Green Wave while their fans dreamed of New Year's Day Bowl games with chestnuts roasting by the fireplace!!
FOS High School Picks
Cascia Hall 34 Berryhill 26
Pumpkin Man made an appearance at Cascia’s home field!! Evidently, he was reported to be on top of the Berryhill bus tossing out candies to all the Cascia and Berryhill fans!!
Cushing 37 Bethany 22
The Cushing team is hungry like the wolf and the Bethany Bronchos were just the team to satisfy their appetite! Numerous Tiger players decided to be in the Halloween spirits and put red and black Dracula makeup and black Batman face paint on for the game!! The Cushing coaches were not happy when the makeup started running on the player's helmets and jerseys throughout the sweaty second half!! This was B in T’s sister-in-law's idea and she volunteered to wash 40 team jerseys after the game with Tide Bleach Cleanser!! True story!! She also was given the responsibility of having the team Halloween Chili with Beans Party at her home!!
Bishop Kelley 31 at Glenpool 20
The Comet team was stoked to make a road trip south to the Glenpool area and get a victory!! BK Linebacker Middleton made 22 tackles and showed of to OSU coach Gundy by wearing a Halloween mullet wig under his helmet!!
FOS Mom O Meter Glenpool moms .966. BK mom's .956
The deciding challenge for these two groups of supermoms was the husband carrying 25-yard dash!! The Glenpool moms are fairly stout and slightly more athletic than the BK moms! Both moms are exceptionally beautiful but the Glenpool moms are simply brawnier!!
FOS Diner of the week! MAMADUAS Restuarant- Super late-night diner that has had such well-known folks as Dolly Pardon’s Leer Jet G4 pilot and Garth Brooks’ ranch foreman!! These folks both swear by the Buffalo Burger Pot pie and chocolate pie!!
Bixby 62 at Bartlesville 20
The Bixby Presley brothers which are no relation to the Presley Jubilee of Branson contributed to 340 yards total offense as the Spartans had over 720 yards total offense!!
Tonkawa 68 Morrison 13
The Tonkawa Buccaneers basically closed down main street and had a huge square dance party after the second-half continual clock cut the game short!! Square dance MC and auctioneer, Charlie started the festivities and the Tonkawa fans danced the night away!!
Broken Arrow 52 Edmond Santa Fe 22
The BA Tigers totally dominated Edmond Santa Fe and sent the visitors back home with their Wolf tails tucked!!
BTW 46 Sapulpa 20
Booker T handled the Sapulpa Chieftains team with their defensive and offensive speed and scored at will in the second half!! BTW’s QB Gentry Williams scored 2 touchdowns rushing and passed for 2 more touchdowns!! Gentry picked off a Chieftain pass and picked up 6 more college football offers!!
Blackwell 30 Mannford 22
Blackwell’s running game came alive and numerous Blackwell hunters left early for a good nights sleep before hunting Saturday morning!
Union 55 Moore 13
The Union Redskins are playing good football at the right time!! Nothing like some OKC area teams to make your Tulsa powerhouse high school football squad look great!!
Jenks 52 at Edmond Memorial 6
The Edmond Memorial athletic department sent an anonymous letter to Jenks showing that the Edmond school was under construction due to giant worms called Tremors, and the game was canceled!! After some further research by the two school systems, it was discovered that the letter was fake news!! The game was over at half time but the Jenks fans were thrilled!!
Owasso 60 at Southmore 13
This game was 53 to zip at half time and the Ram coaches were trying to get the their players motivated with lines from ’Remember the Titans’!! Most of the team thought that ’Remember the Titans’ was an old Sega Genesis game!! Owasso 8th graders finished the last 5 minutes of the game!!
FOS NFL Picks
Chiefs 38 at Broncos 28
The spectacular soprano singing voice and dancing moves on the field of Chiefs QB Mahomes have made him a hot topic among talent scouts on TV shows!! Numerous scouts from shows like ’The Voice’ and ’Dancing with Stars’ were in attendance at Denver to see some of his moves!! Bronco ownership is still trying to think of a nice way to say the party is over for John Elway!
Cowboys 36 Eagles 28
Overpaid Eagle QB Wentz was outperformed by soon to be overpaid Cowboy QB Prescott!! The Cowboys are muddling slightly above expectations and Owner Jerry Jones continues to meet Bob Stoops for happy hours in Dallas, there are no signs of Cowboy Coach Howdy Doody Garrett moving elsewhere!! Stay posted!!
Cardinals 31 at Giants 27
These teams both have rookie Quarterbacks with signs of possible greatness attached on their foreheads!! Quarterback Kyler Murray of the Cardinals was playing for a spot in the national championship (OU) playoffs this time last year!! Quarterback Daniel Jones of the Giants was taking pre-med courses at Duke preparing to be a brain surgeon this time last year!! Upset win for the Cardinals as the two-sport star Murray outperformed the brain surgeon Dr. Jones!!
Words of wisdom from the unwise one!! Never tell your wife that you need new Bocce Balls for Christmas!!
Have a great sports week!
B in T/FOS
Sponsors:
Andre Tourihno, Golf and Fitness Expert, Southern Hills
Colin Magruder, Mtg Broker, Evolve Bank
Speedling Inc., Leon Zinc III
Uncle Thurston, Dallas, Tx
Steve’s Happy Dog Home, Sherri Watson
Christina Morrill, United Country Landrum Realty, Inc.
Chris Taylor, sports writer FanSided
Bob’s Bail Bonds and Car Wash (Chicago, IL)
Big Brother Bill’s Psychic Palm Reading and Bed & Breakfast (Tulsa, OK)
MR Bait, Fishing Tackle and Homemade Fudge Shop (Boulder, CO)
Weh’s Wiener Wagon and Dry Cleaners, Lawrence, Kansas
T-Brew’s Cockroach Farm and Pizza Palace, Tulsa, OK
Dr. Richard Stephens DDS
Roy Thomason Retired Sigma Chi TU
 |
B, in T
|
No comments:
Post a Comment