Monday, September 17, 2018

Coach Stinky Comes To Town

Texas Tech head coach, Kliff Kingsbury - 

Points & Picks: College Ball - 

Oklahoma State 49  Texas Tech 31 - 

T. Boone bought 7,500 fake five o'clock shadow beards for the student section to honor the last game in Stillwater for Tech Coach Queensburry!!  The entire OSU student section was also given Cologne ’Obsession’ to honor Coach Dreamyburry’s smell!!  A number of young ladies were succumbed by the smell of ’Obsession’!!

Tulsa 36 Temple 31.

Thursday night rumble in Philadelphia!!
The city is known for ’Rocky’, Super Bowl Champion Eagles and throwing batteries at Santa!!  Temple is the college that honed such men as Bill Cosby and Pee Wee Herman!!  Temple pride is robust throughout Philly!!  Tulsa’s football team was not intimidated by the Thursday night ESPN crowd of thousands!!  Quarterback Skipper was calm and cool as he threw for 3 touchdown passes and zero interceptions!!  Sylvester Stallone was on the Temple sidelines and was nailed by a hard TU tackled!!  He was carted off the field with a cracked kneecap and face!!
Go ’Cane!!

Oklahoma 55. Army 15

Sooner football welcomes the Armed Forces to Norman!!  The Army team is accomplished with operating the wishbone offense.  The OU wishbone alums, Dean Blevins and Billy Sims went to the Army sidelines to show the offensive backfield how to properly run the wishbone!!  After 2 fake plays both OU legends pulled up lame with a hamstring injuries!!

Auburn 38 Arkansas 21

Coach Malzahn of Auburn and Coach Morris of Arkansas were offensive co-coordinators at Tulsa!!  These men are offensive geniuses and now when their minds are together the entire solar system may in danger!!  Truly, when at TU they once called for a quintuple reverse and gained 2 yards!!

Alabama 36  Texas A&M 20

Two billionaire coaches who both appeared on the new TV show ’SEC Coaches with Million Dollar Cribs’!!  Coach Grumpy Saban has a toilet made out of gold and

Washington State 42  USC Trojans 34

Washington State coach Leach media press conferences can be laced with his dry humor!  Once while camping in the mountains of Washington a giant Grizzly Bear started to attack Coach Leach!!  Coach looked that 8 foot Grizzly right in his killer eyes and told him his UFO 🛸 abduction story and the bear ran back into the forest!!  True story!!  I swear!!

Texas 34 TCU 31

B in T Upset special!

Iowa 23 Wisconsin 17

Iowa kicked Wisconsin in the Badger backside!!  The Hawkeye fans were excited to learn this was the highest scoring game of all Big Ten games this year!!  Wow!! Golly gees!  Happy days!  Both teams have a Jumbo package that features a wishbone formation with 3 running backs that weighed 300+ pounds each!!!  This formation is a guaranteed 1 yard gain!!!  Big Ten coaches are still in a quandary as to how to recruit for and actually implement the spread offense!!  Many O-coordinators think it is some type of butter or margarine!!

4 comments:

  1. Wow! Love the new format! It was worth whatever the investment was. It makes me feel lucky to be eating lunch with someone that's such a celebrity...but I know this feeling will pass...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Soon as I figure out who you are I will mail you a check!! Do they make checks any more?

      Delete