Friday, September 28, 2018

NFL Preview, Porta-Potty Shortage, & Mom Smackdown: Cheer Off Challenge

INFC Youth Football

Broken Arrow Gold 2nd grade 12 Pryor Blue 12 
Game ended after 3 overtimes with both teams needing emergency potty breaks!!

Bixby Platinum Card 6th Grade 18 Muskogee 6
The Bixby moms and Muskogee moms had an inadvertent cheer-off as both team cheerleaders put on a great show at halftime!! After the 6th-grade cheerleaders finished, the moms put together a routine that had the fans dumbfounded!!

Arose From the Dead!

  A few days ago the Green Bay Packers QB, Aaron Rodgers, arose from the dead a la Wyatt Earp in the movie ’Tombstone’ and rallied his team to a one-point victory over the Bears!! Rodgers was taken off the field in an ambulance with his leg bent at a 45-degree angle and bone showing!! Numerous Packer cheerleaders (some currently dating Aaron and Danica) choked their groceries on Lambeau field!! Twenty minutes later, after a compound fracture emergency surgery, Mr. Rodgers also known as Moses, was back leading the Pack to victory!! It happened Google it! You will see!!


Cowboys 31 Lions 21

Browns 24 Raiders 20

Steelers 31 Ravens 13

Disgruntled Bell Wants the Moon
Steeler Runnng Back Leviathen Bell is holding out again!! He is now requesting the deed to the Moon signed over to him!! If not, he will sit out the entire season!!

Chiefs 34 Broncos 21
Kansas City is Running Out Of Backup Quarterbacks
B, in T
Cannon arm Mahomes breaks two fingers on backup QB Davis Webb, and he is put on waivers after the game!! NFL can be very cynical!! Webb was the third backup QB waived because of broken or dislocated fingers this year!!

B in T
Have a great football weekend!!

Wednesday, September 26, 2018

Pumpkin Man Sightings & Prep Gridiron Picks

Pumpkin Man is Back!

To my millions of new readers, this time of year brings about many sightings of a mystical, B in T friend called Pumpkin Man!!! He shows up at many sporting events in Oklahoma and is believed to occasionally show up in the mind of B in T at happy hour!!! He could be found at T Boone Pickens, The Gathering Place, Chapman Stadium or Owen Field!!! 

High School Picks

Jenks 52 Enid 20
Jenks Toys With Enid
Jenks powerful offense had its way with the Plainsmen! Jenks reserves played the entire 2nd half after building a 42-0 halftime lead!! 

Cushing 34 Tecumseh 13
Cushing has Tecumseh’s Number
B in T Junior Lineman nephew had two pancake blocks!! Freshman nephew did not play but had 2 cheerleader phone numbers written on his hand!! I am very proud of the freshman!!! Just kidding, proud of both!! But 2 numbers!!

Dax Hill
Booker T Washington 42 Bixby 24
Too Much Dax Hill
6AII battle of the top 2 ranked teams in Bixby!! Michigan commit does it all!! Dax even held for extra point and tried to wear his Wolverine jersey on the field!! The Hornet team had 3 plays over sixty yards for touchdowns!! Bixby faithful stayed until the bitter end!! 

Owasso 48 Edmond North 12
North Texas Recruit Shows Off His Arm
Owasso Rams showed off their passing game with QB Will Kuehne a North Texas commit, throwing 4 TD passes!! I wonder if he stays with North Texas when Seth Littrell becomes coach at Texas Tech?

Broken Arrow 56 Norman 20

Over a hundred scouts were at the game to look over the talent! The SEC coaches brought roses and chocolates for each prospects mother!! OU, OSU and TU coaches brought cigars and autographed footballs for the prospect dads!!

Union 48 at Mustang 17
Union Marching Band Is A Huge Hit At Mustang
Union’s award-winning band brought the crowd to its feet while doing a rendition of Drake’s KeKe Do You Love Me!! Students from both schools danced in the stands!! Neighbors all around Mustang came out of their houses, like Zombies, to dance with the Union band!!

Monday, September 24, 2018

Heisman Watch & College Picks

There are some names who already come to the surface when
the Heisman committee makes a decision for this year.
Top 4 Heisman Watch

 (this IS an Oklahoma web site)
1. Kyler Murray - Oklahoma -
2. Kyler Murray - Oklahoma -
3. Kyler Murray - Oklahoma -
4. Kyler Murray - Oklahoma - 

 1/3 Season Top Ten!!

1. Alabama -
2. Clemson -
3. Georgia  -
4. Oklahoma -
5. Ohio State without Urban -
6. LSU -
7. Penn State -
8. Oklahoma State -
9. Broken Arrow (6AI) -
10. Ohio State with Urban - 

Friday, September 21, 2018

Dilly Anthems & Boccia Dreams

Kick Me! - 
  Occasionally at TU football games (6:02 pm Kickoff Saturday, be there!!!) or TU basketball games, I will sit during the National Anthem.  I am not taking a stance against the high costs of Medicare or fiber bars!!  Not am I protesting the fact that the Dallas Cowboys really suck!!  I am not even protesting the 104-year-old bathrooms at Skelly/Chapman stadium/field!  As a stroke victim, I have tremendous neuropathic pain when I stand!  So the next time when you see a 60-year-old fart sitting during the National Anthem at a sporting event, don't stare!!  If you do stare and he flips you off, he may have a reason to sit or give you the bird!!  Dilly, Dilly!!

Good week for B in T!! 

  I finished up 3 spots in my Center Boccia Tournament, ending 25th out of 30!!!  B in T is also getting published!!  A number of local pubs around the Blackwell, Tonkawa, Newkirk, and Cushing area have agreed to allow my rant in their men’s room!!  Above the stand-up troughs, B in T picks will be laminated in glow in the dark paper!!   An agreement for the B in T picks to be used on toilet stall doors is under negotiations!!

Wednesday, September 19, 2018

Alexander-the-Great Plundering Jenks

  The Broken Arrow Tigers are bigger than many Sun Belt Conference teams!  Coach David Alexander, of TU and Eagle fame, once snagged, cooked and ate a wild boar at the Lambda Chi house on TU!!    - 

High school football Points & Picks: - 

Broken Arrow 42 Jenks 31 - 

Bixby 34 Sapulpa 24 - 

Sapulpa Chieftains have one of their better teams in years!!  Bixby pulls away at the end with smash mouth running game!! - 

Wagoner 41 at Catoosa 33 - 

Wagoner Coach Condin has won more high school games in Oklahoma than Broken Arrow has students!!!  At one time the stadium, press box, field, and goal post were going to be named after him but he would rather wait until he had passed!! -

Monday, September 17, 2018

Coach Stinky Comes To Town

Texas Tech head coach, Kliff Kingsbury - 

Points & Picks: College Ball - 

Oklahoma State 49  Texas Tech 31 - 

T. Boone bought 7,500 fake five o'clock shadow beards for the student section to honor the last game in Stillwater for Tech Coach Queensburry!!  The entire OSU student section was also given Cologne ’Obsession’ to honor Coach Dreamyburry’s smell!!  A number of young ladies were succumbed by the smell of ’Obsession’!!

Tulsa 36 Temple 31.

Thursday night rumble in Philadelphia!!
The city is known for ’Rocky’, Super Bowl Champion Eagles and throwing batteries at Santa!!  Temple is the college that honed such men as Bill Cosby and Pee Wee Herman!!  Temple pride is robust throughout Philly!!  Tulsa’s football team was not intimidated by the Thursday night ESPN crowd of thousands!!  Quarterback Skipper was calm and cool as he threw for 3 touchdown passes and zero interceptions!!  Sylvester Stallone was on the Temple sidelines and was nailed by a hard TU tackled!!  He was carted off the field with a cracked kneecap and face!!
Go ’Cane!!

Saturday, September 15, 2018

Puffers At The Mayfield Fatty Party

by Bryan in Tulsa-  

Fake Sports notes!!
"Perfect stuff for those who like Sports, Politics, and Cannabis!!"
  Cannabis comes from two Greek words!!  Can’- which has meanings such as a bathroom or a jail cell!!  Abyss’- which is a large hole where you can float for a long period of time and feel nothing!!
[ I just dropped the microphone!]
  Let’s say that in a few years one-half of the states in the USA have passed recreational marijuana!!  Then let’s say, Cleveland Brown QB Baker Mayfield decides to have a huff and puff party for his offensive linemen!!  The state of Ohio has passed recreational hooch 6 months earlier but the archaic NFL suspends all the puffers at the Mayfield fatty party!!  What the heck, has the NFL taken over the constitution!!

Friday, September 14, 2018

Saturday's Picks & When NOT to Wear Blue Spandex Pants

Ok back to sports!!

I would like to request Oklahoma State and T Boone upgrade their 2018 123rd toughest non-conference schedule!!
  In 2019 B in T would like to see Tulsa, Jenks, and Cushing on the schedule instead of more Tinkerbells!!!


South Florida 37 Illinois 
Illinois Coach Lovie is one step closer to moving to retirement in the Utica Square/Gathering Place area!!  My 2 Illinois, B in T fans need to suck it up until Mike Ditka becomes head coach!!
Arkansas 41. North Texas 27
The Mean Green of North Texas is led by Mason Fine from Locust Grove, Oklahoma whom I must hear about him not being recruited by my Golden Hurricane for fuurricking ever!!!  Coach Seth Littrell is doing more with less than any other coach in D1!  The Hog mascot  ” Oinky ” was hit in the head by a blow gun shooting T-shirts!!  The fake hog head saved his life!!

Wednesday, September 12, 2018

Noodling Manifesto & A Kansas Hairdo

NFL Oakland Raiders Martavis Bryant has been placed on the drug suspension list for one year!!

   Sacrificing a 4 million dollar 2018 paycheck again.  If I were told I would have to give up fiber bars and holiday peanut M&Ms to keep a 4 million dollar salary, I would give the munchies to the grandkids and collect 4 million bones!!

Noodling is the manliest way
 to show a catfish who's the boss.

B in T getting a lot of requests for Noodling coverage!! 

 B in T went to Kingfisher, Oklahoma last year!!  I wore my size 13 Converse hi-top shoes and a giant Catfish (known as ’Jaws’) bit my shoe and my little toe!!  I swear!  I had one stitch put on my little toe and had to wear my house slippers to work out at the Center!!  Very humiliating!!  Unless we get a huge sponsor, no more Noodling for B in T!!  I am looking into some cow patty tossing or cow tipping!  Really!

Monday, September 10, 2018

Cyclone Cheerleaders Chased the Sooners Out of Ames

College Football picks!!

Oklahoma 37. Iowa State 27
Oklahoma was upset by the Cyclones in Norman last year!!  Revenge is sweet for Sooner Nation, as their quiet and unassuming QB Murray, plants the OU flag in the middle of the Clone field!  The Iowa State team was in their locker room but their equipment managers and some cheerleaders chased the Sooner out of Ames!!
Tulsa 38  Arkansas State 24
Tulsa has been licking its wounds all week since Texas loss.  A decent crowd of 17,000 was astonished when TU brought back a bigger and much louder cannon!!!
The cannon is shot off after each TU score and has not been used in 8 years due to fans complaining of earaches!!  The TU cannon is being used again against the protest of many elderly Hurricane Club members!!  The initial cannon fodder shot caused numerous nacho cheese spills for the elder Hurricane fans!!  Dry cleaning bills were in the hundreds of thousands and Yale Cleaners had its best month ever!!  True story!!
Oklahoma State 38  Boise State 31

Boise State players were shocked when Pistol Pete Cowboy and the Boise State Bronco, mascots, met at midfield and reenacted the hit song by Big and Rich. , ”Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy”!!