Wednesday, October 25, 2023

The Freaks Come Out at Night!

Bryan in Tulsa

FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOG.SPOT.COM


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Bobblehead Sports

The new fan experience at TU football games is AMAZING!!  Tulsa University Prez Brad Carson deserves credit for thinking outside of the college football entertainment box, with Tailgate bands and free beer for the mature crowd and face painting and giant bouncy toys for the rugrats!!  

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The naming of the new Tulsa mascot was cool too, but his likeness to the Halloween creepy scarecrows is too much for the Papi B in T and the Grands!!  πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ‘»Ana, Charlie, Rosie, Frankie, and Elliott’s Barbie costume will not be within a Skelly football field from Gus T!πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ‘» πŸ‘€Look closely!

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Scary resemblance of Gus T!



Suite seats for Mrs. B in T’s cousin for the 6th game of the ALCS!!  No invite for B in T?!

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He invited his lovely wife Kristen instead!!  

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Some NERVE!  And they lost!!


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Bixby Blue 1st Grade 20 at Collinsville 18

The Bixby moms had a huge raffle for a team fundraiser and a Bixby player's grandmother won the top prize!!  The Prize:  A 1-day rental on the Willie Nelson tour bus!!  The boys loved it and thought ole Willie was a cool Hippie!!  


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Great idea by the moms and the boys were very popular on the Bixby playgrounds!!  



B in T Rants:

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TMZ Correspondent reported that Taylor Swift us dating Waldo of ‘Where’s Waldo’ fame!

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From jock, boy toy Kelse to Waldo!!


B in T College Football Picks:


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Coach Venables Guest Get Back Coach: 

☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

The Punisher

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This dude also knows Karate!

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Oklahoma 38 at Kansas 26

The Sooners drive to Lawrence Friday and spend the night at the high-class Oread Hotel and after an early evening sona and pedicure, the team sets out to see a team movie calle ‘Nun 2’! Some of the Sooner players were visibly upset with the Nun face and swore they would not trick or treat πŸ‘» on campus this year!!

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Despite minor fear trauma from the movie by all-American linebacker Danny Stutsman, he managed to make 15 tackles, one interception, but had 2 nun nightmares on the bus ride back to Norman!!


Cincinnati 24 at Oklahoma State 21

I have picked the Bearcats to beat all of the area teams so why not pick them to beat the Cowpokes and their 3 QBs, 2 walk-ons, and 3 trainers system?  Makes sense!!  

NOTE:

As indicated below the Cowboy's new Cornhole Team is nationally ranked and is coached by Mike Gundy on a volunteer basis!!  I will keep you posted on further developments regarding the new OSU Baccia Team!!

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Tulsa 24 at SMU 22

Looks like another road trip to Dallas with my 60-year-old plus TU frat bros looking to recapture brain cells or lose as few brain cells as possible!!  Things have changed on these trips:

* TU Blue and Gold compression socks to go with blue and gold adult depends **not shown, Thankfully!!

Last time we all went to a SMU/Tulsa game we were up 37 to 17 with 14 minutes to go in the fourth quarter and lost 38 to 37 AND missed a 27-yard field goal as time ran out!!  After all of the TU geriatric section wet their pants, instead if celebrating at a Dallas bar we had Frosties at Wendy’s!!  

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THIS YEAR WE PARTY AT THE     

                      HIDE BAR

As winners!!🏈🏈🏈🏈🏈🏈🏈

We do things differently around here!!  Thirty signature cocktails!!  Amazing bar food with scratch kitchen items!! Weatherized rooftop patio with downtown views and couches and recliners to pass out in for the more mature TU fans!!

Purdue 27 at Nebraska 17

Nebraska is considering trick or treating on Halloween instead of having practice!!  Trick-or-treaters are more horror-ish than practice against your own Husker offense!!

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Texas A&M 36 South Carolina 31

After the game, A&M Tasmanian devil coach Fisher tried to get Gamecock's QB Rattler to portal over!!  He later found out that the SC QB may be first-round material!!  Nice try!!

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Iowa State 21 at Baylor 14

Baylor simply sucks more than State!!  The Clone’s offensive coordinator has tried everything except leaving……….just sayin'!  The Clones even tried bringing back their old Equipment Coordinator from West Point!

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          Kyle H. on right


Kansas State 38 Houston 20

Cougar head coach Halvorsen has sent out 335 resumes since his record went below the Mendoza Line, according to my associate editor Gene!!

14 resumes for Oklahoma high school head coaching positions and 2 assistant positions at Bixby and Jenks have been remitted by Lame Duck coach H!!  Freshman KState QB Avery Johnson threw a touchdown pass and signed a NIL deal with Cocunat Hair Products!!!

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*Desmond Purnell led the team with 10 tackles, 1 sack, 2 tackles for loss and a NIL deal with Little Apple Dealership to drive a 2023 Toyota Tundra during the season!!

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Notre Dame 48 Pittsburg 21

Pittsburg is the only cupcake the Golden Domers have over a 6 game stretch of top 25 opponents in midseason!!


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B in T High School Picks:

(With a Halloween πŸŽƒ candy flavor!!)

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Pumpkin πŸŽƒ Man goes to B in T's second home- The Center for Individuals with Physical Challenges!!!  Another Center Halloween Party was infiltrated by Pumpkin Man handing out SPECIAL Hot Dog Gummies!!

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The Center is always full of energy on a Friday Halloween party!!  But throw in a  Halloween party πŸ‘» with Pumpkin Man and special hotdog πŸŒ­ gummies then the Center gathering becomes a REAL party!!

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Bishop Kelley 38 at East Central playing Nathan Hale 8

Back when the Rangers were relevant, we mowed over our opponents at Skelly Stadium, home of the Golden Hurricane!!

Hale keeps losing over and over!  And candy corn stays JUST the same over time!


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Bixby 65 Moore 12

The Top Halloween candy in the USA - M&Ms - for the top high school football team in Midwestern America - Bixby Spartans!  Bixby moms were planning a huge Halloween party in a south Tulsa home, but the apple-bobbing water was filled with Bob Stoops Rolling Rock Tequilla!! 

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Newkirk 43 Blackwell 12

Blackwell is small and chewy for Newkirk, just like Skittles!

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Sand Springs 30 BTW 22

BTW team color candies are yuckiest Halloween candies in the history of Halloween!!

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Jenks 34 at Broken Arrow 27

Jenks had a tough time with the Tigers than expected!!


Cascia Hall 28 Inola Longhorns 27

Actual Inola Steers were brought down Utica Street in Tulsa to enter the Comando Stadium for a huge conference battle!!

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*South Utica was backed up

to 21st Street!!  Longhorn poop everywhere!!




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Wednesday, October 18, 2023

OSU’s Gundy is the best of the new Big 12

I love me some Razorback Coach Pittman!

But according to my B in T Little Rock correspondent, Gene, states that Houston Nutt just bought a home in Fayetteville!!  Yes the 65-year-old Nutt was having lunch with Rob Walton at an undisclosed Pancake House in Fayetteville!!  Pittman seat is getting toasty!!

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Lord please don’t have Taylor Swift marry a KC Chief player! 

OMG!!  Too late!!

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Bryan in Tulsa


FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOG.SPOT.COM

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Bobblehead Family Sports:


I owe an apology to Mrs. B in T’s hometown school/town Blackwell, for picking them to be defeated by Hennessey 46-12 when IN FACT they beat the Hennessey Hens 24-22!!  Congratulations to our loving relatives in Maroon Land, but I will not pick you to win against OC Millwood!!

Love ❤️ Bryan and Jami❤️❤️


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Bobblehead Sports:

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Haley Van Voorhis, a safety for Division III Shenandoah University, became the first woman to appear in an NCAA football game at a position other than kicker three weeks ago in Winchester, Va!  The five-foot-six, 145-pound junior registered a quarterback hurry in the first quarter of Shenandoah's 48-7 home win over Juniata College!!  She brought the quarterback to the ground just after he released the ball, and the third-down pass was incomplete!!  With 5 of 7 Grands girls in the B in T family unbrella, we are huge advocates of girls pancaking boys on the field instead of making pancakes for the team gameday breakfast!!  BOOM!  I am wise to understand there will be some discussion and laser eyes from the moms!

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Bixby Blue 1st grade 27

Glenpool 1st grade 0

A 9am game and the Glenpool Warriors had a sleepover to unify the team!!  HaHaHa!Instead the team broke into team Manager Mom’s Halloween πŸ­Candy and wired the first graders all Friday night and Saturday morning!!  By 9 am the 1st grade Glenpool team were all zombies!!  Halloween Appropriate!!

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While the Bixby 1st Grade blue was ready to rumble at 7:30 am!!  They romped the Glenpool zombies!!

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B in T Rants:

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More Team Names from Associate Editor Gene:


Conway, Arkansas  – Wampas Cats!!  A Wampus cat is a fearsome creature from folklore, my Grandma Audoo told me as a youth and in constant trouble that she was going to spank me like a Wampus cat!

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Badger Badgers (from Kaje Geneva, Wisconsin)

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Butte Pirates (from Idaho) OK Butte is pronounced Bute but if you read it as Butt…

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Mt. Clemens, Michigan Battling Bathers - very clean and disciplined team, averages 1.2 penalties per game!!

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Beaver, Oklahoma - Dusters - picture an eighty year old teacher thinking this was a good name and all the students laughing behind her!

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Scottsdale, Arizona Community College Fighting Artichokes

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Arkansas School for the Deaf Leopards in Little Rock (The school is located next to the Arkansas School for the Blind but they don't have a football team)

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FAVORITE NAME OF ALL TIME!

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                  Deaf Leopards


B in T College Football Picks:


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Tulsa 38 Rice 27

The Owls, although a small school like TU, can be mighty but the Cane have a strong running game!!  All four TU running backs Taj Gary, Bill Jackson, Anthony Watkins, and Jordan Ford rushed for at least 75 yards against the whooty Owls!!  

Rice vs. Tulsa History:

THE smallest Division I FBS (Football Bowl Subdivision, formerly Division I-A) school is the University of Tulsa with 2754 undergrads!!  GUESS WHAT.…..TU is still the smallest in 2023!!  Rice University is the second smallest, with 3054, and Wake Forest University is the third smallest, with 4412, seriously who cares!!  Tulsa is playing in the big leagues now!! The Rice/Tulsa rivalry was spurned by the phone booth challenge that started at Utica Square Tulsa in 1996!!  

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After lunch at Utica’s Peppers Bar and Grill, numerous Rice and Tulsa students started the phone booth cram-a-thon!!  A number of students in the booth complained when a horrid odor spread in the Rice booth!!  Safety first!! The event was canceled with TU winning 14 bodies to Rice's 13 bodies!!  A very heated rivalry between the little guys of college football!!


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Week 7 - Sooner Guest Getback Coach - 

Megladon Shark

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Ok, ok Getback Honky Cat!


Oklahoma 49 UCF 14

Out with the old Dillon and in with new Dillon!!

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Gabriel has 12,117 total yards passing so far in 2023 and a snowball chance in a Tulsa summer, of breaking the all-time NCAA college total passing yardage!!  Dillon ranks 6th all-time in UCF yards passing with 7,233 and with one year plus with OU he is sniffing 18k yards passing possibly with a little under 2 years remaining!!  Case Keenum with 19,217 yards passing is the all-time NCAA passing leader, and Dillon Gabriel may get there!!  He almost made it with the Tulsa game 3 weeks ago!!  Ha!  Now the new Oklahoma Gabriel looks like a leader for the Heisman trophy and continues to combine with the old Gabriel to break NCAA passing records!!  The Sooners vs. the Golden Knights game should be more than a 3 touchdown spread but the Sooners prevail!!

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New Dillon Gabriel aerodynamic helmet from NASA!


Arkansas 29 Mississippi St 21

Razorback coach Sam Pittman is hanging tough with the SEC, I still believe that recruiting to Fayetteville is not easy!!  If you disagree, try to find a 4-lane 

highway in Arkansas!!  My Mom and Grandma Audoo at a Razorback game in the 40s!!  They road a horse to the game from Western Grove, Arkansas!!True shat - Google it!!

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*Picture from Little Rock, Associate editor Gene:  B in T Mom and Audoo in front of the first Hog Mascot ever!!


πŸ™College Football and basically everyone is missing Mike Leach.  

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Oklahoma State 31 at West Virginia 24

Coach Gundy said ‘OK eff let's use 1 QB today instead of 5’!  Great call by football smart Gundy!!  West Virginia's defense was very confused at Gundy’s strategy and shocked into a loss in the hills of Morgantown

West Virginia!  Another B in T tidbit about this Halloween season:  The movie ‘Mothman’

is one of my favs and based on true events in Point Pleasant, West Virginia!!  Point Pleasant gained fame as the home of the notorious Mothman, a cryptid monster of local and national lore!!  I once saw Mothman at a Christmas Party at Souther Hills after 15 red and green jello shots!!  Along with fascinating attractions dedicated to the Mothman, Point Pleasant is home to beautiful hills and scenery!!  Happy Halloween πŸŽƒ!

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OK State budding super star running back Ollie Gordon ran for a touchdown, caught a touchdown pass and threw via halfback pass a touchdown!!

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Texas 45 at Houston 30

Texas deserves to be a top-five team, and with QB Quinn Evers making superstar prodigy Arch Manning dream of transfer portals from Candyland!!

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*Special Report*

Arch Manning portal transfers to an Oklahoma school known for its Offensive minds- Tulsa Golden Hurricane!!


Utah 38 at USC 31

The So Cal's families were extremely happy that the Utes decided to score 2 touchdowns in the last 3 minutes of the game, leaving 2 hours of daylight for surf time!!  No care that the Muleshoe team lost!!  SURFS UP!!

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Kansas State 34 TCU 31

A few weeks ago the Mildcats were defeated by a 61-yard field goal by Mizzou with zeroes on the scoreboard!!  But not this time Garo Yaprimean breath!!  Coach Klieman went to the kicker portal and found the grandson of Tom Dempsey!!  Gustavo Dempsey transferred to KSU from Montana State last week and like his Grandpa kicked a 63-yarder to win a football game!!  Kicker portal can have hidden treasures!!

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Wisconsin 18 Illinois 6

The Badgers kicked 6 field goals to Illinois 3 safeties!!  The Illinois D will not let a soul touch the end zone unless they do it by air and a field goal!!


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B in T High School Picks:

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Pumpkin Man was spotted handing out specialty brownies at Reasor's Grocers at 41st and Yale!!  

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Mimi B in T stocked Halloween Brownies for weeks for Papi and the green seed-free, and of course gluten-free variety for the Grandchild goblins!!πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸŽƒπŸŽƒπŸŽƒπŸŽƒ


Bishop Kelley 31 Claremore 26

Claremore’s QB Braxton Ethridge was stopped at the goal line 2 times in the last minute of the game!!  Tight end/defensive Reid Jones of BK had a touchdown reception, seven tackles, and kicked two field goals to assist in the victory!

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Bixby 57 Westmore 12

The Spartan parents kept their sophomore and junior players home during the Friday night lights Westmore game to work on next week's homecoming party at the BOK Center!!  Similar to the Footloose scene with Kevin Sausage!!  Errrr correction Bacon!  

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Chisholm 38 Blackwell 14

A competitive game until it started!!

The Chisholm Trail was the major route out of Texas for livestock!!  Although it was used only from 1867 to 1884, the longhorn cattle driven north along it provided a steady source of income that helped the impoverished state recover from the Civil War!!  Later, The Blackwell Moonshine trail was basically used for transporting moonshine!!

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The Lake Carl Blackwell Moonshine Trail was used by numerous family members over the 1900s!!


BTW 36 at Muskogee 31

Super athletes on super teams fighting for the 6AII Gold Balls!!  BTW edges Muskogee and superstar lefty QB Jamarion Ficklin for early lead for the big Gold Ball!!  This kid will be the top QB in the state in 2024!!!Come on Gundy, he is 3 times better than any one u got!!  Your son included!!  Pistols Firing!!

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Broken Arrow 41 at Enid 26

The BA Tigers rallied to save coach Josh Blenkenship's job with 3 touchdowns in the 4th quarter!!  The Tigers will be for

Formidable in the playoffs this year!!


Holland Hall 31 at Inola 23

The Holland Hall parents were upset that they could not find a gym with Pilates or a restaurant with gluten-free food in Inola!!  In a last-minute emergency move by the Dutch Booster Club, orange slice bags with gluten-free turkey wraps and canned drinks were supplied on the team bus!!  The Parents of the Dutch cried tears of relief to find proper treats for themselves and their young Dutch football players in Inola!!

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                             YUCK!

             Gag me with a Smurf!


Jenks 46 at Southmore 6

The Trojans are back and after  a zero and two, starting to look Gold Ball-worthy again!!


Owasso 51 at Edmond Memorial 6

D Coordinator Graham is again being courted for numerous head coaching jobs throughout the Midwest!!  

Power list for Coach Graham's 

next job!!

-Pittsburgh State— Head Coach

-Pittsburgh Steelers - DC

-1st grade Indian Nations     Owasso Red- With Future Grahams- HC and play counter

-Dallas Cowboys - play counter

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             HC 2025


Tonkawa 34 Hominy 31  

The Battle for Class A Dominance!!  Cousin Kelly and Uncle Charlie were swamped by requests for their special Pumpkin and Pecan pies!!  An overflow crowd of 2,560 fans circled the entire field and EVERYONE requested pies!!  Hominy travels for road trips like the Nebraska Cornhuskers!!  A small skirmish ensued, not regarding the game, but over the last 4 batches of Cousin Kelley’s pies!!  Charlie put some more wood on the fire and cooked another batch of pies!!  Great game and both sides left with smiles and pies!!!  


Super Team Mom-a-thon

Hominy Moms .888

Tonkawa Moms .867

The Hominy Moms pulled out a huge upset when they won the Powder Puff football contest in triple overtime!!  The Buck moms were coached by NFL superstar Zaven Collins from TU!!  A number of Tonkawa moms thought the Buck moms were using speed to make them run faster and jump higher but this was never proven!!  Everyone hugged and both school moms were besties, For Life!

Hominy Diner if the Week:

JJ Grill 

118 West Main Street, Hominy

The entire Tulsa University football team ate for free at the diner for two years causing huge cash flow problems at which time this was ceased and JJs was profitable again!!  Only Zaven and his mom could eat for free!!

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Union 52 at Edmond Sante Fe 12

The Union Redhawks played their cheerleader's powder puff squad in the second half and actually scored a touchdown! 


B in T Pro Picks


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Chiefs 38 Chargers 28

The Chiefy Wiefeys are on their way to another Super Bowl only to be massacred by the Space Jam team from Mars!!  My prognostications are never wrong and would put all of my Crypto coinage on the cartoon characters from Mars!!  

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Okay…………back to the game:  if Kelce slept with Taylor the previous week KC by 9; if she did not by 10, the difference is left up to your sick imagination!!

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Raiders 27 at Bills 21

Josh ya better sign that multi-year deal soon, before your O line get your arse hurt!!


Buccaneers 34 Falcons 21

The little engine that all the NFL talking heads said could, Baker Mayfield, CAN!!  Examble:  19 for 25 for 287 yds and 3 yds!!


Cardinals 28 at Seahawks 27

Tulsa stand Zaven has 3 sacks, 3 pass blocks, and 3 forced fumbles of which 2 were recovered by the Cards!  


Have a great sports week!


Bryan in Tulsa

by B in T - FakedOutSports, syndicated in SoonerPolitics.org




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