Tuesday, May 21, 2019

NASCAR and Cow Chip Coverage/ Way Early Big 12 Picks!


Faked Out Sports/B in T

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Notes ’Bout Nuttin’!

NASCAR Fans Can Be Found with Brazilian Ancestry!!

A few weeks ago on a Sunday, I decided to watch the Monster Talladega 500 (B in T not a huge fan) and my grandson Gus decided this looked pretty cool!!  We would cheer for the green car, number 22 driven by Joey Logano!!  Number 22 car would be in first and then dropped to 8th!!  Back and forth Gus’ favorite car would go until a caution flag or a pit stop!!  He stayed focused on the race for almost one hour which is 45 minutes longer than Papa’s NASCAR attention span!!  Fortunately or unfortunately I recorded the race for Gus, at his request!!  So every morning between 5:30 and 6:00 AM before school we get up and look for our number 22 car!!  Next, I will check his pulse for the Indy 500!!

Beaver, Oklahoma Can Really Throw Some Chips!!

A small town in Oklahoma is known as the Cow Chip Throwing Capital of the World!!  In 1969 this event started and in 1994 the event was seen on ABC’s Wide World of Sports!!  This year is the 50th anniversary and Faked Out Sports sent correspondents at the end of April to the small town of Beaver!!  The competition was fierce and the contestants were trying to beat the 2015 record throw of 185 feet!!  Smiley Jones from New Lima had a throw of 183 feet 7 inches had the lead for most of the day!!  A newcomer from Tishomingo, OK, by the name of Shorty Beefeater blew away everyone by a throw of 194 feet 5 inches!!. The Judges decided to investigate the Cow Chips used by the Tishomingo folks due to the odd shape and smell of the Cow Chip!!  A Toxicology expert from Mayes County reviewed the cow poop and discovered that this was indeed buffalo poop mixed with fudge and nuts!!  Mr. Beefeater was disqualified and asked to never bring his crap to Beaver again!!  Stay tuned to more Faked Out Sports Noodling in Kingfisher reports!!



Faked Outs Sports Ranking Big 12’s Way to Early 100 Days till Football Ranking:

  1. Oklahoma - lots of hoopla about new Defensive Guru Grinch but we will see!  First test against the Houston Cougar offense and Coach Dana will be interesting!!  Early over/under on total offensive yards for Houston is 575 total yards!!  Go with the under!!
  2. Texas - Coach Tom Herman could do absolutely nothing and still have football recruits pop up in Austin like dandelions in my back yard!!  
  3. Iowa State - Coach Matt Campbell did not flee Cyclone Nation and will be there in 2019!!  He has rejected numerous XFL head coaching possibilities!!
  4. Oklahoma State - Coach Mullet is very secretive with the local media!!  Thus I had my 2-year old granddaughter pick a number between 1 and 10, and she picked fo!!  This the Pokes will be 4th in 2019!!
  5. Texas Christian University - With the Tasmanian Devil as your football coach, Gary Patterson should spin to another nice record in the Big 12!!
  6. West Virginia - Neal Brown from Troy is the new head coach and expect some offense from this Mike Leach disciple!!
  7. Kansas State -Chris Klieman from North Dakota State is the new head coach at Kansas State.. The new balmy climate of Manhattan will make recruiting better for Coach Klieman and his new hire assistants!!
  8. Baylor - Coach Ruhle was seen on the final episode of HGTV’S Fixer Upper but the show was canceled when Coach Ruhle allowed the Linemen to do the home destruction scene instead of Skip!!  This is a violation NCAA rule 2378CG!!
  9. Texas Tech - Matt Wells from Utah State will lead the Red Raiders!  He was also an ex TU Co-Offensive Coordinator!!
  10. Kansas - Les Miles goes from Mayor of Dr. Pepper Commercial’s, Fansville to Head Coach of the Kansas Jayhawks football team!!  He will not like playing second fiddle to Billy Self!!
  11. Sapulpa Blue 3rd Grade- returning twenty-two underclassmen!!!
  12. Cushing High School Tigers- returning two of Jami in Tulsa and B in T’s nephews who have recently received FFA student awards!!!

Finally, the Big 12 has 12 members!!

FOS MLB
Cardinals:  the redbirds are flying under radar!!
Cubs the cubbies are above the redbird radar!!
Brewers The Brewers AND Brewries are veeery hot and beer sales are way up!!  I expect park pics Mr Zinck!!
Astro Altuve lovers will be saddened by his strained hip flexor and groin aggravation for 2 months!!


Words of Wisdom from the unwise one:   Never drive a golf cart at Southern Hills Country Club stoned!!

Have a great sports week!

FOS/B in T

Sponsors:
Andre Tourihno, Golf and Fitness Expert, Southern Hills
Colin Magruder, Mtg Broker, Evolve Bank
Speedling Inc., Leon Zinc III
Uncle Thurston, Dallas, Tx
Steve’s Happy Dog Home, Sherri Watson
Christina Morrill, United Country Landrum Realty, Inc. 
Chris Taylor, sports writer FanSided
Bob’s Bail Bonds and Car Wash (Chicago, IL)
Big Brother Bill’s Psychic Palm Reading and Bed & Breakfast (Tulsa, OK)
MR Bait, Fishing Tackle and Homemade Fudge Shop (Boulder, CO)
Weh’s Wiener Wagon and Dry Cleaners, Lawrence, Kansas
T-Brew’s Cockroach Farm and Pizza Palace, Tulsa, OK
Dr. Richard Stephens, DDS
Roy Thomason Retired Sigma Chi TU

















B, in T

Monday, May 13, 2019

Kids Soccer Treats Should NOT Be Healthy!!



FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

Faked Out Soorts/B in T

FOS Notes ’bout nuttin!

Sports Team Treats Have Changed Since I was Coaching!!

I the 80’s and 90’s you could hand out Juice Boxes and Rice Krispy Treats for after game snacks!!  Orange slices were a must have for the young whippersnapper to keep their energy up or so that's what all moms insisted!!  Thereafter game tunnels were used until the kids were in high school!!

In today's snack world for the kid's everything seems to be organic fruit snacks, or frozen tofu pop cycles, to go with spring water shipped in from Venice!!  Some sunglasses worn by today's 5 and 6-year-olds cost more than their T-ball or soccer jerseys!!  


A common denominator among all parents over 3 or 4 generations is the post-game parent tunnels!!  Everyone is invited to the tunnel, parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters, friends, and even a drunk that just staggered into the game!!  Nothing can beat the smile on the young varmints as they go through the tunnel knowing that a glucose-free snack is waiting for them at the end of this giant tunnel of over-excited adults!!  

Coach Billy has 9 Lives!!

Thunder Head Coach Billy Donovan agreed to another 1 year contract with the OKC Thunder for the 2020 season!  The Thunder came close to having Bill Self from Kansas but he was afraid he could not handle Westbrooks mood swings!!  He also was not happy with the suit allowance and hair product sponsorship offered by Oklahoma City!!!  Michigan head coach for Billy?

New Coaching Changes for 2019 College Football Geeks Should be Rad and Totally Nuclear Dude!!

  1. Houston - Dana Holgorsen will get to visit Oklahoma twice with OU and Tulsa on the schedule!! 
  2. Kansas - Les Miles, no more Dr. Pepper commercials but the new KU coach will be busy hustling recruits to the waving wheat of Kansas!
  3. North Carolina - Mac Brown will no longer be the savvy TV dude but the Head Football Coach of the Tarheels!!  He will bring his experiences at Texas where the Longhorns were never close to the Sooners!!  Recruiting in the North Carolina area and the rest of the blue blood basketball area with Mac’s southern drawl will be very tough!!
  4. Texas Tech -- Matt Wells was head coach at Utah State until hired by the Red Raiders!!  Bye bye Cliffy skinny jeans Kingsbury and hello ex-TU OC Wells!!
  5. Texas State -- Jake Spavital came over from West Virginia where he was OC for Dana Holhairline!!  He also was OC on Kevin Sumlin’s staff at Texas A&M!!
  6. Ohio State -- Claim to fame before becoming Buckeye Head Coach:  New Coach Ryan Day is from the same high school as Adam Sandler, Manchester Central in New Hampshire!!
  7. Kansas State — When Coach Snyder retired to ice fishing the Wildcats turned to North Dakota State’s Chris Kleiman!!
  8. West Virginia -- I will miss the baby mullet hair of Dana Holversen and his replacement, Neal Brown from Troy U. was a boring hire!!  Time in the Big 12 will tell!!


MLB
Astros’ Jose Altuve could be on IR for a couple of months!!  

Faked Out Sports Words of Wisdom from the Unwise One:  How to be married blissfully for life!!  Always remember that even though your wife just went Loraina Bobbit on you, that she is always right!!

Have a great sports week!!

FOS/B in T

FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

Sponsors:
Andre Tourihno, Golf and Fitness Expert, Southern Hills
Colin Magruder, Mtg Broker, Evolve Bank
Speedling Inc., Leon Zinc III
Uncle Thurston, Dallas, Tx
Steve’s Happy Dog Home, Sherri Watson
Christina Morrill, United Country Landrum Realty, Inc. 
Chris Taylor, sports writer FanSided
Bob’s Bail Bonds and Car Wash (Chicago, IL)
Big Brother Bill’s Psychic Palm Reading and Bed & Breakfast (Tulsa, OK)
MR Bait, Fishing Tackle and Homemade Fudge Shop (Boulder, CO)
Weh’s Wiener Wagon and Dry Cleaners, Lawrence, Kansas
T-Brew’s Cockroach Farm and Pizza Palace, Tulsa, OK
Dr. Richard Stephens DDS
Roy Thomason Retired Sigma Chi TU

















B, in T

Tuesday, May 7, 2019

Faked Out Sports Top 10 / Cubs Dominate Cards



  Faked Out Sports

Notes About Nothin’!

*******B IN T’S TOP TENS!!*********

FOS Top 10 Thunder Coaching Candidates:
All with area ties!

  1. Bill Hollywood Self (OSU/TU)
  2. Billy Tubbs (OU)
  3. Leonard Hamilton (OSU)
  4. Scott Sutton (ORU)
  5. Barry Henson (ORU/BISHOP KELLEY H.S.)
  6. Nolan Richardson (TU/Arkansas)
  7. Terry Stotts (OU/Trail Blazers)
  8. Sherri Coale (OU/Norman H.S)
  9. Sean Sutton (OSU/Texas Tech)
  10. Barry Switzer (OU/DallasvCowboys)

Why these dudes?  All these dudes could have done more better than (my gramatica is not working) what Donavan has done over the past few seasons for the Thunder!   More to the point, they have better hair stylist!!


Top 10 Mullets Ever!!

  1. Mike Gundy (OSU football coach)
  2. Billy Ray Cyrus (Singer CW)
  3. Joe Dirt (fictional character)
  4. Patrick Swayze (Actor)
  5. John Stamos (Full House version)
  6. Hulk Hogan (Professional Wrestler with little on top)
  7. Ellen DeGeneres (15 years ago- Helen Reddy ish)
  8. Andre Agassi (Tennis player)
  9. Mel Gibson (actor Lethal Weapon days)
  10. Toby Keith (Country Western singer and huge OU football fan)





Top 10 Sports Questions Heard at the Pool this Summer!!

  1. Is the New York Yankee payroll larger than the National Debt?
  2. Have the Dallas Cowboys passed all of their random drug tests?
  3. Why does the St. Louis Cardinals starting pitch suck so bad?
  4. Is a prerequisite to play for the KC Chiefs state that you must have a domestic violence accusation??
  5. Two young ladies at the pool:  “I hope that 40+ Quarterback for the Patriots plays forever!!  He has such a nice butt!!”
  6. Regarding Labor Day weekend start of football, the Golden Hurricane plays on Friday night at Michigan State, the Cowboys and Razorbacks play Saturday AND the Sooner play Sunday!!!   Really?  WTFrick!!
  7. Is Faked Out Sports going to do his famous Picks, favorite high school diners and Pumpkin Man crap this Fall πŸŽƒ???
  8. Do you think the Oklahoma Thunder will move back to Seattle?
  9. Two Tulsa cougar ladies laying at the pool stated:   ”I really don't know why they will not let us wear our thong bathing suits at this place!”  ”I would really like to show off all of my butt implants!”
  10. Overheard at the Utica Square Thursday night Symphony at Sunset one lady to another ”I sure hope those rowdy TU fans don't show up at Wildfork and have to be pepper sprayed like last fall”!!

Top 25 Softball Area Team's 

OU #1
OSU #13
Arkansas #24
TU #25

Dang nice job ladies!!  Don't mess with the area women!!


FOS MLB

The Cardinals are finally hitting, with the 2, 3 and 4 hitters (Goldschmidt, De Jeon, and Ozuna) having an on base percentage close to .360 the Birds are flying high!!  The starting pitching is starting to look better with the help of rookies Dakota Hudson and David Ponce De Leon!!  Rehab for Carlos Martinez has started with him relieving with the hopes to getting back to his starting role in July!! 

The Cubs are still hovering around .500 and Cubs skipper Maddon changes his line-up faster than Trump changes heads of state!!  OF Scwarber needs to suck it up and start hitting or he will be looking for homes in Iowa AAA!!  

The Astros Corriea is a stud and is starting to play like one!!  Brennan can carry the team by himself!!  The Stros will be challenged by a healthy Yankee team in October!!  

Words of wisdom from the unwise one!  Do not put CBD product on your Bran Flakes!!


Have a great sports week!!

B in T/FOS

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B, in T