Wednesday, June 29, 2022

59 days till College Football

Bryan in Tulsa


FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM


Bobblehead Sports:


The Amarillo Zoo captured a strange image outside the zoo in the dark and early morning hours of May 21 (around 1:25 a.m.)!!  Is it a person with a strange funnel-like head who looks a little like Huffy Hurricane a former University of Tulsa mascot!!  

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Do you have any ideas of what this Amarillo Zoo picture could be?  Is it Huffy Hurricane!??  Is it a Chubbacobra??  Is it Mothman?  Pumpkin πŸŽƒ Man?  Please call Amarillo Park and Zoo security if you have seen an alien or mascot similar to the picture above!!  


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B in T notes:


Top 10 most hated things by Tulsa University fans or B in T:

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  1. SMU fans - I am not a fan of the little SMU preschool children wearing Pony sweater vests who flip you off when you wear Blue and Gold!!  
  2. When the TU fans are outnumbered by the visitor fans at Chapman or Reynolds Center - thank you Wichita State fans, ORU fans, OU fans, and OSU fans!
  3. Razorback plastic hog hats - The Story goes:  I was 11 years old when my mom took me to my first TU-Arkansas football game!  Two large gents with matching plastic hog hats sat behind us and yelled TU obscenities and drank about a keg of πŸ― beer!  After one of these gents tossed their groceries in their hog hats and on my back, I started hating hog hats!!
  4. All Refs - the Referees always hate Tulsa because we do not give them free food or drinks, and more bad calls for Tulsa and guess what, we hate all refs!  Cheaters!  TU fans, in my experience, never get calls!!  Never, ever in a billion years!!
  5. Two New Tulsa Chapman Stadium Rules:  258455.1 rule:  no one can bring a keg into the stadium, also:  265776.1 rule:  no one may bring bongs or brownies in the stadium (this one sucks)!  I hear they have brownie sniffing dogs!!
  6. Bowl Games with fewer than 5000 fans- TU fans understand 
  7. Stale popcorn - the same mother chicken popcorn, has been served at TU sporting events for 50 years!!  
  8. Friday Night ESPN football- goes against local high school games and in Oklahoma the TV viewership would be more for the local Tulsa high school game of the week!!  True shat!!
  9. Rice football - never compare your university to TU, in football, for God sake!!
  10. Yellow Spandex TU spirit pants -  do not try to get a mental picture of this, please don't try!  I have spotted these atrocities at Chapman Stadium!!

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Adam Wainwright and Yadi Molina will be featured in a new commercial campaign for Budweiser, one celebrating their shared careers, their shared comebacks, and shared triumphs under the banner!!  The Cardinals duo, who is approaching the all-time record for starts as a battery, will also be featured on special cans as "legendary teammates.!!  Go Redbirds!!



B in T Top 10 hottest men’s college campuses:

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  1. Tulsa University-very good-looking older men throughout the campus, also known as creepers!!
  2. The University of Oklahoma- best farmer tans in America!
  3. The University of Colorado - study, ski, and tan is all the Colorado men do!!
  4. Oklahoma State -voted second best farmer tans in America!
  5. The University of Nevada - you will find numerous gigolos at Nevada U!
  6. Arkansas University - Razorback men are often mistaken for rugged Timberlane mountain men!!
  7. The University of Arizona - student body Az men wear speedos to class!
  8. Oral Roberts University - Godly men are sexy!
  9. Kansas University - the ‘50 Shades of Grey’ male character in the movie is from Lawrence!!
  10. The University of Utah - the men are prettier than the women at Utah!!  Little known fact! 


B in T tidbits:

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  • Former 1990s Jenks QB son has transferred from Hollywood where father Brian makes movies!  True freshman and Trojan QB Jackson Presley has moved to Jenks and already has offers from Texas A&M, Arizona, and Oregon, among others!!  He has the entire Jenks freshmen cheer squad on his Apple phone!!

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  • Two years in a row ORU Super guard Max Ambas has left the NBA hanging and returned to Oral Roberts!!  In a world where players transfer for reasons like jersey colors and crazy girlfriends Max is back for another season of fun and winning at Oral Roberts!!

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  • Three or four years ago we lost to SMU in Smallas, Texas, in which in said game we missed a 25 and 27-yard field goal AND an extra point!!!  This poor kicker was given a wrath of shat from my 60-year-old + brothers who had made a short rode trip to bond!!  Three years later he is rated the 3rd best kicker in college football!  We saw Mr. Zach Long and his family at breakfast the next day and after some kicking tips from the TU old farts he became an All-American!!  True story!!

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  • Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers defeated Patrick Mahomes and Josh Allen in Match Play Golf at Southern Hills last week!!  The match was for charity and became controversial when the young guns Mahomes and Allen became angry when a dead skunk was found in the golf bag of Mahomes!!  This caused Allen to miss a 4-foot putt and gave the match to veterans Brady and Rodgers!!

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MLB

Cardinals- 43-34 - Looks like an old battle of the πŸ― Beer Gods, between as The Old Milwaukees of Brewerland VS the legends of Cardinal Red and Budweiser!!  Both beer companies will be snorting the suds until the first week of October where we will have forgotten about baseball and are dreaming about first downs and tailgating margaritas!!


Dodgers 46-28  I only write about the Dodgers cause my brother loves them!!  At time he lives in St.Louis and loves the Dodgers!!  He loves baby cardinals but hates Cardinal Baseball, our father once bought us Cardinal underwear and diapers and he STILL loves the Corn Dodgers!!  


Rangers- 36-37

The Rangers are only 4 games behind Tampa Bay for the last AL wild card slot!!  Playoff tickets will be printed next week for those over-exuberant Ranger fans!!


Astros - 47-27 - The Astros could play the remainder of their games with their AAA league team, Sugar Land (not to be confused with Candy Land) Space Cowboys (not to be confused with Space Cadet), and finish in first place!!!  No shat!!  A fricken 19-game lead over the second-place team!!  TO MY KIN FOLK IN HOUSTON, whom we love ❤️ so dearly and may or may not read this crap, the season is over and you may watch summer reruns instead!!


Have a great sports week!


Bryan in Tulsa

by B in T - FakedOutSports, syndicated in SoonerPolitics.org


B, in T

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Wednesday, June 22, 2022

Boomer Sooner Baseball

Bryan in Tulsa


Go Sooner Baseball!!  World Series finals!!

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BOBBLEHEAD FAMILY SPORTS:

Football Season is 67 days away!!

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B in T notes


Oklahoma State Fans Most Hated List:

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  1. Oklahoma fans- OU fans are the antichrist to the Cowboys!
  2. Barry Switzer- Oklahoma State fans raise their young to never say the F word, Sh word, Barry and Switzer or they will go straight to HEπŸ‘πŸ‘!!!
  3. Baker Mayfield- OSU fans love to watch Baker struggle on the field while his commercial appeal declined as well!
  4. Sooner Schooner- many think the Sooner Schooner was booby-trapped by some OSU mechanical engineer students causing the Schooner to tip over a few years ago!!
  5. Mike Gundy- many OSU fans just do not like Mike, cuz he only occasionally beats OU, which is not enough!
  6. Skinny Jeans- Wranglers all the way!
  7. Crimson Red- same color as blood AND the Sooners!!
  8. When Eskimo Joes has the last call for alcohol πŸΊ!!
  9. When we have way too much rain in the wheat fields of Stillwater and Kay County!!
  10. Texas Longhorns- Even TU and ORU fans hate the Longhorns!!


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2022 College Football is Raising Naming Imaging Likeness (NIL) monies : 


July 14th 

Nick Saban vs Jimbo Fisher

Mazola Wrestling contests

3 rounds or till one gives up!

Held at the AT&T Stadium in Arlington, tickets have been sold out for months!!  Both coaches will wear nothing but goggles and banana Speedos!!  Expected NIL funds raised: $11 million split between Bama and Aggie land!

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July 24th

Lincoln Riley vs Brent Venables

Old fashion MMA bout!!  The bout will be at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, sold out ten days after Lincoln bolted to So Cal!!  Riley would not travel within 2 states of Oklahoma!!  Expected NIL funds raised- $13.5 split between OU and USC!


August 3rd

Concert at Cains Ballroom  starring LB Justin Wright and OL Chris Paul (Washington Commanders) - Tickets are still available!  Both entertainers will be singing their hearts out for the University of Tulsa NIL funds!  Expected NIL funds raised for the University of Tulsa - $7,245.33

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B in T Tidbits:


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  • Cal Swanson 2023 QB out of Ardmore earns his first FBS offer!!  Stoked for worked hard for this one!!  6-foot-3, 190 pounds and throws an effortless, accurate ball!!  It was only a matter of time before he ascended to Power 5 status!  He has since committed to the Illini!!

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  • Whatever happened to the Cubs Sammy Sosa?

-a skin transplant?

-joined Dancing with the Stars

-joined a barbershop quartet in the Dominican Republic 

-created skin moisturizing product called ‘Glowing’ 

-wrote a book called ‘A White Dude in a Dominican Body’  Sold 10’s!

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  • I see a strange resemblance here, do you?  Southern Cal - Coach Putin.                   VS

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  • Russian New President Lincoln Riley

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••••••=••••••••••••••••••••••••••

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  • Top Name Imaging Likeness (NIL) Money Rankings


1 - Bryce Young QB 3.1 M Alabama

2 - Caleb Williams QB USC 2.4 M

3 - CJ Stroud QB 2.4 M

4 - Spencer Rattler QB South Carolina 2 Million

5 - Quinn Evers QB Texas 2 M


Others:

145th - General Booty OU QB $12,456 Sonic has named a shake after him called........you guessed it......the ‘Booty Shake’!!

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Booty Shake


189th - Spencer Sanders OSU QB $10,035  Spencer Sander’s took over Spencer Rattler’s old Charlie’s Chicken πŸ— gig with a slight change in the last name!!


275th - Davis Brinn Tulsa QB $6,277  Davis also has the rights to 30 coneys a week from the 11th Street Coney Island!!  Must wear a Coney Island shirt out publically 3 nights a week!!  True shat!

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  • Things beginning to look like Christmas for Cushing 2023 QB Blaze Berlowitz!!  The 6’3” 215lb QB with a howitzer for an arm has college recruiters drooling and sitting outside of the Cushing locker rooms to chat with Berkowitz!!  Now it needs to happen for Cushing WR Camden Crooks!  He’s been one of the most productive players in NE Oklahoma over the last 2 years!!

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  • UCLA Bruin Maya Brady hit two homers against the Sooner softball machine!!  And yes she IS the niece of the most perfect human quarterback machine alive, G.O.A.T!!!  Tom Brady!!  

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MLB:


Astros:  42- 25

P Lance McCullars has started rehab and should be throwing BBs soon!!  With a ten-game lead in their division the Astros have decided to do some ‘load management’ and will let superstar Altuve have the rest of the season off till playoffs!!  Is that cheating?πŸ€ͺπŸ€ͺπŸ€ͺ


Cardinals:  39 -31

Young arms, Gordon Graceffo, was recently called up to Springfield and lefty Mark Liberature was called up to St. Louis for a couple of starts, both will be in the rotation by the end if the year!  Trust me, never wrong!


Cubs 26-42

Cubs snap the Brave's 15-game winning streak!!  Cubs have a huge ticker-tape parade to celebrate stopping another MLB team's winning streak!!


Rangers - 33-36

Shortstop Marcus Simien is starting to hit above his weight and causing the Texas brass to feel strong about finding a SS that will finally be decent!!


Have a great sports week!


Bryan in Tulsa:




B, in T

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Wednesday, June 8, 2022

Go Cardinsls

Bryan in Tulsa


FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM


Family Bobbleheads:

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Ok, ok, the last of the B in T PGA stuff but this picture of Mr. and Mrs. B in T’s nephews from Blackwell, handsome son, and cute daughter at the Southern Hills PGA had to be shown off one last time!!  The boy's dad, Jami’s brother passed away last December from a heart attack.  He would have loved to spend any time at the golf course and just watch the golfers and more importantly watch the people who watch the golfers!!  I knew Mike about a month less than I know Jami, and although it is cliche like he was just like a brother to me.  The first day I arrived in Blackwell, over 38 years and 1 month ago, at the farmhouse on Hubbard Road and after meeting her mom and dad, Mike showed up in a pickup truck with 2 friends and a case of Coors Light!!  That was my introduction to Mike, and as we took off into the dirt roads of Blackwell hooping and hollering, I πŸ™ prayed that I made it back alive to ask Mr. Morrill for Jami’s hand in marriage!!  I made it back after rolling the pickup a couple of times and crashing a few rural mailboxes!!  Never once did Mike say a derogatory word to me unless TU beat OSU in football or basketball and he would not say a word for a week but always came around and still did not say a negative word!!  Love u, Mike!

Tell God that there are only 85 days till FOOTBALL!!


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B in T Notes:


Parker Thune of OU Insider reports: 

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As first reported by OUInsider’s Brandon Drumm on Saturday afternoon, four-star 2024 DL Xadavin Sims is set to bring his talents across the Red River for his final two years of high school football.  The 6-foot-3, 250-pound defensive lineman spent the first two seasons of his prep career at Denison High School in Texas, but he’s now been cleared to transfer to Durant (Okla.) High School in time for his junior season in the fall of 2022. Sims, who’s the No. 79 overall player in the 247Sports Composite rankings for the class of 2024, immediately becomes the cycle’s top player in the state of Oklahoma. Previously, the only nationally ranked 2024 prospect from the Sooner State was five-star defensive lineman David Stone, but he transferred to IMG Academy this past winter and is thus officially classified as a Florida prospect. Sims now gives the state its lone representative in the Top247 for the class of 2024!!


OU Portalling IN Wide-Outs:


Jeff Lebby is making quite the impression in the transfer portal pitching his offense of late!  Win back-to-back weeks, he’s landed another wide receiver out of the transfer portal with multiple years of eligibility!  Last week it was Javian who transferred from Missouri!  A week later it’s LV Bunkley-Shelton, a transfer from Arizona State!

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Less than a week after adding Pittsburgh transfer Davis Beville to be the apparent backup to Dillon Gabriel, the Sooners have dipped into the junior college ranks with the addition of General Booty!!  WHAT A NAME!

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New TU Basketball coach Konkol is handing out local high school basketball offers like they are hot cakes, as my Grandma Audoo once said!! 

5-star SG David Castillo, a 2024 prospect from Bartlesville (OK), has been offered by the new TU coach!!

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B in T Tidbits:


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  • Jerry Jeudy was arrested on misdemeanor charges of “2nd-degree criminal tampering w/a domestic violence enhancer”  According to my TMZ Criminologist source this could be a cut telephone wire, standing in the way on a street encounter, or mooning someone at a restaurant!  The charges were dropped the 1st of June!


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  • Tulsa’s new throw back football helmet could be seen at TU’s first home game in September of 2022!


  • Maine United high school basketball has a 6’8” stud named Cooper Flagg that has all the NCAA basketball bluebloods traveling to Maine!!  The 2025 prep analysts has him rated the number 3 player in the nation!!  The Tulsa college atmosphere would be great, OU needs players, and OSU can offer Eskimo Joe’s and Maine cannot!  Watch for Cooper Flagg from Nikonos, Maine to have every college in America after him!!  

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  • All the National Weathermen have become powerlifters with no neck!!  Our local weathermen do not lift weights, Travis Meyers, Dan Thredkell or Alan Crone have never been close to a weight set!!  These local guys are cool and all have necks!!  Don't go with the national look, local dudes!!

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  • I was obsessed with this game and eventually graduated to Tudor Electric Football!!  Any one else??

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  • Oklahoma basketball coach Porter Mosier likes to sit on the scorer's table!!  In fact, he is so hyper that he has asked the University to hire him a pullback coach similar to new OU football coach Venables!!

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True shat dude!


  • On the Jim Glover Chevrolet commercials, which are awesome, does Mr. Glovers daughter have a twin or is that a stunt double for the young lady!  Or am I just old and running out of things to write about before football season starts in 96 days?


MLB:


Cardinals - Nolan Gorman could be the hottest selling jersey since the ‘82 Vince Coleman foot stuck in the Busch Stadium Tarp rollup machine jersey!!

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Rangers -  Martin Perez was the pitcher to f the month in May!!  The lefty is also known for his slider which is rare for a southpaw!!  4-0 with a 0.42 ERA while dancing around the Maypole in the Ranger’s Merry, Merry Month of May!!!!

28-28 hangin at 5 hondo!


Cubs - Caleb Killian from high school prospect to Texas Tech top man all the way to top prospect of the Cubs, this dude can pitch!!  He lasted a strong 5 innings in his Major League debut against the Cardinals, ended up with a no-decision!!


Have a great sports week!


Bryan in Tulsa




B, in T

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Wednesday, June 1, 2022

Papa vs Charlie

Bryan in Tulsa


FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM


Family Bobblehead Sports:


Two-Year-Old vs Papi B in T


During the Tulsa PGA, Mimi B in T and Papi B in T were sequestered into their home for 3 evenings to watch their little granddaughter Charlie while their 4-month-old baby sister stays at St. Francis Children's Hospital recovering from pneumonia!!  With dad working hours and hours preparing for the PGA at Southern Hills, Mimi and Papi B in T we're called in to assist with Charlie!!

Some interesting observations were detected over these three evenings!!  

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  • Papi was followed everywhere by Charlie, except in the restroom!  As the book above explains never follow a gassy old man anywhere!!
  • If it's evening news time, Mimi trumps all Charlie shows, such as Barney, Moana or Dug!!  The term ‘trumps’ is meant:  beat (someone or something) by saying or doing something better. “taste trumps most if not all other factors when consumers choose food products"  No political meaning!!  Hehe!
  • Papi caught himself watching Frozen II, 45 minutes after Charlie’s head hit her Olaf pillow!  NBA on TNT was on too!!!πŸ€ͺπŸ€ͺπŸ€ͺ  Embarrassing and the 15 readers/relatives should tell no one!!
  • We learned numerous types of hide and seek games, that were designed and normally won by Charlie!!
  • We worked on her underhand softball pitching!
  • We worked on our TU football cheers!
  • Armed with Detangler and hairbrush we both completed proper hair comb-overs!!

It was a blessed time with Charlie that will always be remembered by Mimi and Papi!!  

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B in T notes:


Friendliest College Football Fans:

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Noteworthy:

-Tulsa is 3rd nicest in the American Athletic Conference, IT IS TIME TO BE LESS NICE, and get into some opponent's faces!!!

-Nebraska is the number 1 nicest fan base in the Big 10!!!  And they have sucked in football each year!!  Shove an ear of corn in their ear, get mean Husker fans!!

-Iowa State Cyclone fans are the 2nd nicest in the Big 12, and with former QB named Purdy gone to the NFL it's time for the Clone fans to get mean and nasty!!

-Texas A&M fans are rated as the nicest fans in the SEC, which as a closet A&M fan I must disagree cuz the Aggie fans that I know are cutthroat and maniacal!!  Or the SEC is a real, real badass conference!

-Southern Cal is in the middle of the PAC 10 as far as fan niceness!!  After a year of nicey nice Mr. Riley and his skinny jeans USC will be at the top of the PAC 10 in smiles, giggles and backstabbing!!


Clones Coach Can Recruit Gems:


Just look at these NFLers!

Leading rushers on Matt Campbell-coached teams the last 8 years!

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2014- Kareem Hunt

2015- Kareem Hunt

2016- David Montgomery

2017- David Montgomery

2018- David Montgomery

2019- Breece Hall

2020- Breece Hall

2021- Breece Hall



Oklahoma Has a NIL of Their Own:


Legendary Bootlegger’s Son and OU Football Coach Barry Switzer has added his vision of a Name, Image, and Likeness deal for all OU Athletes with emphasis on football!

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OU joins an ever-growing list of schools with at least one NIL collective. The known total is nearing four dozen.  Switzer said in a press release that every OU football player will have an opportunity to earn between $40,000-$50,000 per year through the collective program while still being able to participate in other NIL opportunities outside of 1Oklahoma.

So, how will athletes get paid?

The answer: Fans donate to 1Oklahoma, and the collective program then disburses those funds to athletes!!  How much athletes receive is based on how much they work with partnered nonprofit organizations.. Once athletes choose a nonprofit that aligns with their values, they will use their name, image and likeness for promotion!!  A checklist will detail what they need to do each month!!  Duties can range from social media posts to autographed memorabilia that the nonprofit organization can then auction off!

The partnered nonprofits benefit from the promotion, while the athletes are compensated for their time by 1Oklahoma's donor-generated funds. The collective program will also have a portal that will detail the transactions!!  This college ran NIL program will not give the OU students Lambrighinis or Bentleys but is a good start and the legend of Sooner Football will have to do the rest!!  


Go Longhorns’ Brendon Marion!!


I will never, in a million cow chips be a fan of Texas Longhorn football but every time I can bring ex-TU stud Brennon Marion's name up, who by the way is the receivers coach and pass coordinator for the Longhorns, I do!!  Brennan Marion was one of best big play receivers that has worn the blue and gold since Chris Penn or Ricky Watts!!  He averaged 31.9 yards per catch during his 2007 season AND he fist-bumped my son in the endzone after an 80-yard touchdown pass at Skelly Stadium!!  While in junior college, he didn’t have housing and would sleep in the press box just to keep his scholarship!! Seventeen years later, he’s been a successful coach and now at Texas!


B in T tidbits:

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  • Kirk Herbstreit leaving ESPN for Amazon where he will be on the new Thursday Night Football, he will also star in a new Amazon movie where he will star as Jessica Simpson’s dad!!  Herbstreit will continue as a host on ESPN Gameday but cannot wear an Amazon or an ESPN jacket during the legendary Saturday morning broadcasts!!  Both Bzillion dollar media moguls have agreed to allow Herbstreit to wear a plain pink blazer with yellow pants!!  No shat!

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  • Bishop Kelley Soph QB Jack Taylor has a good arm, needs to grow but look for good things from this Comet!
  • Mrs. B in T has threatened numerous times to send me to the transfer portal of marriage!
  • CFS Teams who don't have a 1st Round pick college football in the last 10 years:

  *    • Vanderbilt

  • • Colorado
  • • Georgia Tech
  • • Rutgers
  • • Arizona
  • • Kansas
  • • Nebraska
  • • Indiana
  • • Iowa State
  • • Illinois
  • • VirginiA
  • • Kansas State


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  • Lou Dawkins will be the new head coach at Muskogee High School!!  Dawkins played for TU from 1989-94 and is best known for his 3-point shot that ensured the Golden Hurricane's first Sweet 16 berth with a victory over Oklahoma State in the 1994 NCAA Tournament at Oklahoma City!!  And where we're you when Lou hit the magical shot that sent Tulsa to the Sweet 16 for the first time in close to a billion years!!  I remember heading to big Cedar Lodge the day TU won that game and stopping the car to the side of Highway 64 and jumping up and down with Jami and my youngsters Jordan 8, Lance 6, and Maddie 2 starring at me as I made an idiot of myself on the side of the road!!  

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  • Bijan Robinson, Texas Longhorn stud running back, just agreed to a deal with Lamborghini of Austin that will allow him to drive a different color car every week to class and one social event during the 2022 football season!!  When Dreams turn into Reality. God, I’m Grateful. πŸ™ŒπŸΎ Thank you #LamborghiniAtx for the partnership!!

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MLB


Cardinals:   27-21   The Birds are warming up at the same time their pitching staff injuries surmount!!  Rookie lefty Libarature won his first major league game against the Brewers!!  Rookie second baseman Nolan Gorman looks like a future star after 10 days in the majors!!  Injuries have slowed the Redbirds down but with healing and a farm system back on track, things are looking rosy red!!


Rangers - 24- 25  Centerfielder Aldonis Garcia is heating up and so are the Rangers!!  The hitting must carry this team cuz the pitching staff ain't!!  Starter Martin Perez has an unbelievable ERA at 1.60 but the rest of the starting staff is in the high fours!!


Cubs - 21-28 

The Cubs and the White Sox fought in the City if Chicago and the North Siders dominated!!

The Cubs and the Sox are both average at best!


Royals - 19 - 32

Royals are beginning to look like fodder for the rest of the American League, a team for everyone to get ‘right’ on!!


Have a great sports week!!


B in T 


by B in T - FakedOutSports, syndicated in SoonerPolitics.org




B, in T

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