Wednesday, November 28, 2018

Antler Dance Returns/ College Basketball Picks

The Christmas Antler Dance Returns 
The Antler Dance was created by a young Bryan in Tulsa in the late 70s, early 80s and is now the Christmas Dance of Faked Out Sports!!  Numerous folks in OKC and Tulsa are dancing to tunes like We Need a Little Christmas, Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer and I Saw Santa Kissing Mommy Under the Mistletoe!!  I am the dude with his face covered in the picture!

Fake Basketball Picks:

Arkansas 77 at Colorado St 75
The Razorbacks stud power forward,        
Mason Jones, can play inside or outside and scored twenty points on the Rams 🐑!!!

Notre Dame 82 OU 70 Jimmy V Classic
The Irish toyed with the Sooners and stayed on top throughout the game!!

Minnesota 77 OSU 64  U S Bank Stadium Classic
A very, very young Cowboy team could not keep up with the big physical Golden Goofers!!

Tulsa 72 OSU 62
The Golden Hurricane tamed the Cowboys in front of an OSU crowd of 6 thousand in the University of Tulsa Reynolds Center, the capacity of 9 thousand!!  You do the math, 3 thousand TU fans fought the 50 degree and clear skies weather!  

Kansas 88 Stanford 81
Kansas coach Self has slightly changed his appearance by adjusting his hair growth application!!  This is vital for his new low profile image!!  

Kentucky 97 Univ North Carolina Greensboro 71
The Wildcat Thoroughbreds were drilled by sixty to the Duke Shedevils two weeks ago!!  Kentucky did get there mojo back by routing the UNC Greensboro Quaker Oats!!  

SMU 90 ORU 61
The Mustangs of the AAC look strong this year and the ORU team seems to have a strong case for the bottom of the Summit League!!  At the time of publishing, I did not know the name of either coach!!

FOS NFL picks

Saints 37  Cowboys 21
The Saints powerful offense led by Drew Brees dissected the Cowgirl defense and Coach Howdy looked as clueless as ever!!  The AT&T boobirds were as loud as ever and some fans even borrowed the old Saint's paper sacks to put on their heads!!

Broncos 31  Bengals 21
The Bengals defense is rated last in the NFL!!  Thirty-first out of thirty-one teams in the NFL!!  OU Coach Riley is aggressively looking at the Bengals defensive coordinator as the next OU coordinator!!  Thirty-first would be much better than their current 123rd ranking!!  I think?

Texans 31 Browns 21
Texans defensive line spent the entire game in Baker Mayfield lap!!  J.J. Watt ordered hot tea and crumpets while sacking Baker!!  Pinky extended per J.J.s mom!!

Chiefs 34  Raiders 20
Raiders and Coach Gruden are close to staying on point to his 10-year plan to make the the Las Vegas Raiders winners by 2028!!!  By 2028 the Chiefs and Mahomes will have 4 Super Bowl rings!!

I would like to leave you with words of wisdom, ” Never blink your eyes for a split millisecond while watching sausage cheese dip drip on your new white silk 2XL shirt!!  The next thing you know OU scored 2 touchdowns, and GAME OVER!!

Love these Picks!!

Dilly Dilly!!

B in T/FOS

B, in T

Tuesday, November 27, 2018

Football Dreams/ College Conference Picks

College Football Dreams 
I woke up the other day from a dream so vivid that my eyes were watery from tears of joy!!  Everything was Blue and Gold!!  On the U of Tulsa where there is usually nothing but Mechanical Engineers studying on a nice day or Frisby Golf games, but there was something else!!  The U was packed with spandex Blue and Gold pants and shirts!!  Kirk Herbstreit, Desmond Howard, and Lee Corso were there!!  ESPN COLLEGE GAMEDAY had finally arrived at Tulsa University after 102 years!!  Three thousand fans were around the Gameday cameras with hundreds of posters with names of Drew Pearson, Steve Largent, Jerry Rhome, Howard Twilley with current players Zac Smith, Shamari Brooks and coach Phillip Montgomery!!!  Brad Nessler was interviewing coach Montgomery when an old man in his boxers streaked across the Gameday set with a sign that said Faked Out Sports!!!  I then woke up!!

Iowa State Coach Rumors
Iowa State coach Matt Campbell is rumored to be the next Ohio State coach, next Cleveland Browns coach, next Cleveland Cavalier coach and possibly the next Iowa Barn Stormtroopers Arena football team coach!!!  Last week Iowa and Ohio youth league owners were interviewing him to be their new youth league president!!!  

Kansas Will Go Miles for A New Football Coach!
Next Kansas football coach, Les Miles, is taken out of retirement in Seaside, Florida to coach the Jayhawks!! Next week get more predictions of the next Kansas basketball coach after coach Self-resigns due to pressure from the hairpiece police!!

Faked Out College Picks!!

Conference Championship Games:

SEC Championship 
Alabama 33 Georgia 14
Alabama defensive line is made up of 5 Star athletes, 2 deep and meaner than a freshly branded bull!!  The Bulldogs were down 14 to 10 at the half but when coach Grumpy threatened to take away the all you can eat night at the Western Sizzler the team came to life!!  

ACC Championship 
Clemson 42 Pittsburg 7
Coach Dabo and his Quarterback Trevor ‘Pretty Sunshine’ Lawrence were interview by 10 media outlets after the ACC Championship game!!!  Trevor accidentally gave out his cell number on the Ferrell on the Bench show and received 142,680 text messages!!!

Big 12 Championship
Oklahoma 52  Texas 42
A repeat of the Cotton Bowl shootout earlier in October!!  In this game, the kicker known as Cameron Dicker the kicker from French Licker, Indiana kicked a 42-yard field goal as time expired to win the game!!  OUs Heisman Murray throws for 340 yards and runs for 240 yards and was responsible for 8 touchdown!!! An OU offensive lineman gave the upside down hookem horns sign and received a 15 yard unsportsman penalty!!!  He asked if he could give them the bird and the referee said that was perfectly fine!!

Big 10 Championship 
Ohio State 45 Northwestern 20
The Buckeyes are making a strong case for the final four of college football but the Sooner offense is making a stronger case for the top 4 of all time!!!  The OU defense is currently making a case for the top 125 of the top 126 of college football!!  We will see who the playoff committee picks!!  Northwestern hired Zach Smith as a defensive consultant and he did a great job for the Buckeyes!!  

PAC Championship
Washington 34  Utah 28
Washington beats Wash State in the snow to play Utah for the PAC Championship in the desert snow!!!  What is desert snow??!!  I don't know, but it sounds really cool!!  Really bitchin!!  Really gnarly man!!

AAC Championship 
UCF 37 Memphis 34
Central Florida's Quarterback’s leg goes Joe Theismann in the South Florida and!!  Backup QB pulls off a super rally to keep the longest win streak since OU in the Bud Wilkinson era!!

B, in T

Sunday, November 25, 2018

Prep Christmas Wish List/Prep Playoff Picks

Top Ten FOS Prep Football Christmas Wishes
  1. A Christmas wish that Broken Arrow moves from 6A1 to Conference USA (way too good)
  2. A Christmas wish that the West side beat someone in 6A1 or 6AII!!  Anyone?  Ferris? Bueller?
  3. A Christmas wish that 5A Carl Albert accidentally goes to the wrong stadium for the finals!!
  4. A Christmas wish that all the private schools are placed in their own conference so they may complain to their own OSSAA board!!
  5. A Christmas wish that no high school child’s life be cut short in 2019.
  6. A Christmas wish that Heritage Hall moves up a couple of classifications to give that team a challenge!
  7. A Christmas wish that Owasso coach Blankenship retires a Ram in a few years!  Super TU alum!!
  8. A Christmas wish that all of the youth football players learn sportsmanship from their coaches!!  
  9. A special Christmas wish that all of Oklahoma thinks and prays for Coach Alan Trimble in the joyous holiday season!!
  10. Finally a special thanks to the VYPE website for allowing Fake Out Sports a voice in local high school sports!!  Or not!!

Faked Out Sports Prep Final Picks!!

6AI Finals
Broken Arrow 38  Jenks 28
The two heavyweights of 6AI battled at Chapman Stadium!!  Numerous local media dudes have stated that BA reminds them of the 1997 Jenks Legion of Doom!!  The Jenks 1997 line with Lohr and Callens would be dominated by the current beefcakes of Broken Arrow!!  The speed of Jenks could not surpass the bulk and strength of the Tigers for the 2018 6AI championship!!

6AII Finals
Bixby 30  Stillwater 27
The Spartans won another Gold Ball for coach Montgomery and the City of Bixby!!  Gunner and the Gundy family will have one more chance at a Gold Ball in 2019!!  The super sophomore QB for Bixby and the sophomore Bulldog running back for Stillwater will have two more years of battles unless they transfer to Jenks!!

5A Finals
Carl Albert 31  Ardmore 21
Carl Albert Titans defeats the Ardmore Tigers in a game between two undefeated 5A schools!!  The Titans have dominated 5A football for years and seem to be reloading their slingshots for 2019!!

4A Finals
Tuttle 36  Bethany 30
Tuttle wins the finals for 4A by a close score as they defeated the OKC Bethany prepsters with a last-minute score!!!  Tuttle native and Oklahoma Heisman Trophy winner, Josh White was carried off the field by numerous Carrier Heat and Air customers!!

3A Finals
Heritage Hall 47  Sulpher 31
The Cascia Hall of OKC won the 3A finals again as Sulpher was too stinky for the Heritage Hall Chargers!!  

Class A Semi-Finals
Tonkawa 27  Fairview 23
Tonkawa beats Fairview in the Semis in front of numerous of my wife's Blackwell, Tonkawa, Newkirk, Ponca City, and Cushing relatives loaded with peppermint Schnopps and moonshine from Uncle Jerry and hooch from Cousin Kelly!!

Mom O Meter    Fairview 9.86 and Tonkawa 9.79 moms    Fairview and Tonkawa moms had a mud-wrestling match in downtown Alva the night before the high school class A semis!!!  This was the deciding factor for the judges, because one of the Fairview moms wrestled in the WWWA (World Women's Wrestling Association) and the Tonkawa moms forfeited instead of breaking their nails!!!

B, in T

Saturday, November 17, 2018

Prep Picks Before Jive Turkeys are Basted

Faked Out Sports Prep Playoff Picks Nov 23rd

These teams will be practicing Thanksgiving Day to the dislike of the cooking prep football moms and the joy of the dads who get to miss kitchen duties and watch prep football practice!!!

5A Semi Finals Nov 23rd
Bishop Kelley  30  Ardmore 28
Bishop Kelley’s QB Middleton completed 11 passes in a row in the first half!!  Coach Tapana was so ecstatic about the victory that he let the offensive linemen carry him off the field, over the outdoor track, out the stadium gate and straight to his Dodge Ram!!  He the told the o-line there would be no need for weightlifting Saturday morning!!

5A Carl Albert 38  Collinsville 22 
Nov 23rd
Carl Albert has won more 5A gold balls than any other team!!  B and T's uncle Howie is a former principal at Carl Albert and continues to state that I bet him a case of Bud Light 20 years ago when Bishop Kelley lost to Carl Albert!!  I agree to double or nothing that bet if he remembers either bet!!  Hope not!!  Dilly Dilly!!

Heritage Hall 30  Lincoln Christian 21
The OKC Catholic Private school equal to Cascia Hall in Tulsa whipped the Lincoln Christian Bulldogs of east Tulsa!!  Heritage Hall has approximately 175 young men at their school and 125 of the young stallions go out for football!!  Naawww!!  No recruiting here!!  

4A Semi-Finals November 23rd
Clinton 38  Bethany 27
Clinton defeats a Bethany team who had a week earlier defeated the 4 time 4A champs Wagoner Bulldogs!!!  Clinton smash run game was enough to take the wind out of Bethany sails!!

Tuttle 37  Poteau 28
Heisman Trophy winner Josh White from Tuttle was on the field after the game signing autographs and selling Carrier Heat and Air units!!  The Poteau Pirates played a tough game but were intimidated by the Heisman Carrier Heat and Air dude!

2A Quarter Finals Nov 23rd
Metro Christian 34  Washington 26
The Patriots defeated the not BTW, Washington team!!  Not Washington, DC, not George Washington but Washington, Oklahoma!!  Washington, Ok, is known for beehive farms and it's solid high school football team!!  Metro Christian football program has been good for a number of years and will continue its conquest of 2A!!

Beggs 41  Kingston 22
T J Austin for Beggs had a great game as the Beggs team continues to fight through the murder of one of their Senior players. Prayers for the Beggs families. 

A Semi-Finals November 23rd
Tonkawa 35 Hobart 22
FOS creator, Uncle and Great Uncle to a few Tonkawa Buccaneers, has a special place in his stomach and heart for my Buccaneer relatives!!  Senior Tonkawa RB/LB Simeon Shepard who is dating FOS great-niece, better score more touchdowns or will have the wrath of Uncle Fake Out Sports on his butt!!

Faked Out Sports Mom O Meter   Scale of 1 to 10 with ten being super football mom!!  Hobart Moms 9.86  Tonkawa Moms 9.80. 
This was one of the closer Faked Out Sports Mom competitions since the inaugural challenge last year!!!  The battle was even until the end when the Hobart super moms edged out Tonkawa moms in the football meatloaf cook-off!!!  The Hobart moms football meatloaf was so succulent you could cut it with plastic knives from a Dollar Store!!!

FOS Mom and Pop Diner of the Week
The Main Street Grill on 219 E Main street in downtown Hobart stays open till midnight on High School Game night and serves free cheese fries if Hobart wins!!!!

B, in T

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

Bocce Ball Tryouts/ NFL picker

Bocce Ball will be revving up at the first of next year at the Center!!  We have some of the best players in the Midwest right here in Tulsa, Oklahoma!!  We will start having a Select Team from the Center doing Tournaments!!  I will be waiting for my special invitation, waiting, waiting, waiting and waiting!!  My tournament numbers are not good so I will have to bribe coach David with Kansas City Chief tickets!!  I have tried Tulsa Football suite tickets but that was rejected by coach David!!

Fake College Basketball Picks

Arkansas 88 UT Arlington 73 
Hardwood Classic
Coach Anderson is no longer using medicine balls at practices!!  He has ramped up to semi truck tires and snow chains!!  This makes for s hell of a practice!!

Memphis 72 OSU 66. Advocare Thanksgiving Classic
Ok State has a young team that has learned to blow a 52 to 30 lead, earlier this year!!  I look for good things this year from the young stallions!!  There are seven freshmen on this team and three of them have dated!!!  

Nevada 72 Tulsa 69 
Continental Tire Las Vegas International Hoop Classic
Numerous Nevada fans get in a tussle with the eleven TU fans in the crowd, insisting that Tulsa was in Arizona!!!  Tulsa goes cold in the second half and loses by 3!

Oakland 81 ORU 72
Men Against Cancer Oakland Hoops Classic
The Golden Eagles are finding the road to wins very hard to manage!!  Hopefully, their conference will provide some relief and some victories!! 

Fake NFL Picks

Cowboys 35 Redskins 23
The Cowchips were sniffing the playoffs but need to stuff the turkey and get down to business!!!  Hire a new football staff that are not good ole drinking buddies of the owner!!

Bengals 23  Browns 17
The Bengals are surprisingly good and even in those same ugly, never changing, orange and brown striped helmets!!  Please change soon!!

Broncos 24  Steelers 21
The Steelers need to lose to Denver so my friends at the Center for the Physically Limited will be happy and get off my ass about never picking the Ponies, ever!!

I would like to leave you with these famous words:  
The Christmas term “10 lords a leaping” should be used carefully in Yule tide functions throughout the holiday season!!

Faked Out Sports
Bryan in Tulsa

B, in T

Lights On/ Boots With Da Fur

Faked Out Sports- Bryan in Tulsa

Annual Utica Square Lights On Faked Out Sports Top Ten!!!🎄🎄🌲⛄️⛄️⛄️
Utica Square has for the first time in 65 years has a new sponsor for Lights On!!  This year's Lights On sponsor will be H👀ters!!!

  1. Pairs of leather boots with fur seen on women at Lights On?  Over/Under 1200!!   Fur boots on men over/under -60!!   Take the over on both!!!
  2. The number of Nut Cracker life-size decorations at Utica Square--Over/under- 5. Number of wives that are at Utica Square, while their husbands are watching football, and want to Nut Crack their hubbies!!  150   Take the over again!!
  3. Percentage of the entire Lights On crowd that will have skinny jeans on!!  Over/under 78%   Percentage of skinny jeans with a crotch rip-- 11%   Take the over on both!
  4. The number of times you will hear the term ’totally’ or ’totally dude’ said by someone in the festive Utica Square Lights On crowd--  268,000 times!  Take the over again!!
  5. The number of Faked Out Sports readers in the Holiday festival audience:  over/under 110.  The number of Faked Out Sports readers in the Holiday festival audience that were hammered on hot cocoa and peppermint schnapps:  over/under 105.   Take the over on both!!
  6. The number moms in the Lights On audience that strived to have the best Thanksgiving meal ever, and have chugged at least 3 glasses of wine:  over/under 550   The number of moms who passed out on the couch at home and blew off Lights On: over/under 250:  take the over on both, are you seeing a trend?
  7. The number of jacked up, glasspack muffler and gun rack toting Dodge Ram trucks parked at Utica Square Lights On:  over/under 3.   The number of pit bulls on a leash at Utica Square Lights On:  over/under. Same as the number of jacked up Dodge Rams 3.  Take the under on both!!
  8. The number of grumpy grandpas watching Lights On, that break wind and immediately turn and blame their 2 and 4-year-old grandkids!!!  Over/under 3.  The number of hacked off wives at Utica Square that slugged the back of grumpy grandpa's head because of the raw egg smell!!!  Over/under 3. Take the over on both!!  Dressing and gravy gas!!
  9. The number of Chevy Tahoes at Utica Square Lights On that were purchased at the new Owasso dealership owned by the bald dude and his cute wife!!!  Over/under 985    The number of new houses the owners of the same dealership were able to buy thanks to their Patrons from Tulsa and Utica Square!!  Over/under 2   Grand Lake home and Seaside, Florida home!!!  Take the over on both!!
  10. The Number of happy pets that were left home alone to chow in the Thanksgiving leftovers in the kitchen trash can, while the pet owners strolled Utica Square Lights On!!  Over/under 525.   Number of sick pets with bad turkey and dressing Thanksgiving night!!  Over/under 50.  Take the over on both!!


Faked Out College Football Picks

Oklahoma 52  West Virginia 42
All the Ok State fans are rooting for the Mountaineers to win, all the Oklahoma fans are yelling for their Sooners to win and all of the ’Cane fans and the little hog  fans are just waiting for the round ball season to commence!!!  West Virginia coach     receding hairline, who spends more time yelling than coaching, tried his famous Broke Back Mountain halftime speech and it backfired!!! 

Missouri 38  Arkansas 26
We must chalk this season up to new coach, new offense, new players and an overall new way of doing things in hog football land!!  Coach Morris postgame chat with his players was positive but is starting to sound like a broken record!!  He continually is singing the same song every week!!  Coach Morris is good with the rah rah stuff but how good is he if the losses continue next year? Maybe he can get suggestions from TU coach Montgomery!!

Virginia Tech 31  Virginia 27
Va Tech pulls out a big win with an in-state rival!!  Faked Out Sports favorite coach Justin Fuente hopefully gives FOS a phone interview!!  Does anyone have his cell??  I can offer Mazios coupons for the ex-Union QB!!

Central Florida 52  South Florida 44
Two solid AAC teams that no one respects nationally!!  Central Florida could win 80 in a row and not be mentioned in any national publication!!

Washington State 42 Washington 34
State kicks some Husky butt!!   After the game Coach Leach asks 6th-year senior Husky QB if he has any eligibility left?  The young man gave coach Leach the finger!!  Leach returned the finger!!

Texas A&M 36  LSU 31
The Aggies are heading for a nice Bowl, perhaps against the OSU Cowmullets in the Vizio Alamo Bowl!!  

Oklahoma State 42  TCU  27
Oklahoma State’s gauntlet run to get back to their Vizio Alamo Bowl was enhanced by their win over Coach Tasmanian Devil’s TCU team!!  Pistol Pete lassoed up some Horned frogs and cooked them for dinner that night!!!

Tulsa 28  SMU 23
TU again had a huge pre-game tailgate party at WILD FORK at Utica Square where numerous Hurricane Club elder statesmen and SMU Senior Pony Express Club members had another rhubarb!!!  Numerous Seniors were upset from both sides of the angry football groups.  An angry Hurricane club patron blamed an elder Senior Pony Express patron of taking her lental bean salad!!  Layers of makeup and eyeshadow were thrown all over the Wild Fork floor as ladies from both schools fought until the Utica Square Unicycle Police arrived and tased 7 ladies!!   EMSA Ambulances were called due to all of the hair that was singed because of hairspray!!!  The SMU and TU men embarrassingly went on to the game!!!

Alabama 51 Auburn 24
Alabama spanked Auburn so bad that a number of Auburn player moms were upset and threatened Coach Calzone to take their kids out of football class!!

Notre Dame 34 USC 24
Note Dame beats USC in a traditional battle where both teams were ready to get the game over with!!

Ohio State 31  Michigan 24
This is a huge game that would allow Coach Kahki to finally beat the Buckeyes but NO.......upset breath!!  Ohio State beats the Wolverines with a last minute hail mary throw!!


B, in T