Lights On/ Boots With Da Fur

Faked Out Sports- Bryan in Tulsa

Annual Utica Square Lights On Faked Out Sports Top Ten!!!🎄🎄🌲⛄️⛄️⛄️

Utica Square has for the first time in 65 years has a new sponsor for Lights On!!  This year's Lights On sponsor will be H👀ters!!!

1. Pairs of leather boots with fur seen on women at Lights On?  Over/Under 1200!!   Fur boots on men over/under -60!!   Take the over on both!!!
2. The number of Nut Cracker life-size decorations at Utica Square--Over/under- 5. Number of wives that are at Utica Square, while their husbands are watching football, and want to Nut Crack their hubbies!!  150   Take the over again!!
3. Percentage of the entire Lights On crowd that will have skinny jeans on!!  Over/under 78%   Percentage of skinny jeans with a crotch rip-- 11%   Take the over on both!
4. The number of times you will hear the term ’totally’ or ’totally dude’ said by someone in the festive Utica Square Lights On crowd--  268,000 times!  Take the over again!!
5. The number of Faked Out Sports readers in the Holiday festival audience:  over/under 110.  The number of Faked Out Sports readers in the Holiday festival audience that were hammered on hot cocoa and peppermint schnapps:  over/under 105.   Take the over on both!!
6. The number moms in the Lights On audience that strived to have the best Thanksgiving meal ever, and have chugged at least 3 glasses of wine:  over/under 550   The number of moms who passed out on the couch at home and blew off Lights On: over/under 250:  take the over on both, are you seeing a trend?
7. The number of jacked up, glasspack muffler and gun rack toting Dodge Ram trucks parked at Utica Square Lights On:  over/under 3.   The number of pit bulls on a leash at Utica Square Lights On:  over/under. Same as the number of jacked up Dodge Rams 3.  Take the under on both!!
8. The number of grumpy grandpas watching Lights On, that break wind and immediately turn and blame their 2 and 4-year-old grandkids!!!  Over/under 3.  The number of hacked off wives at Utica Square that slugged the back of grumpy grandpa's head because of the raw egg smell!!!  Over/under 3. Take the over on both!!  Dressing and gravy gas!!
9. The number of Chevy Tahoes at Utica Square Lights On that were purchased at the new Owasso dealership owned by the bald dude and his cute wife!!!  Over/under 985    The number of new houses the owners of the same dealership were able to buy thanks to their Patrons from Tulsa and Utica Square!!  Over/under 2   Grand Lake home and Seaside, Florida home!!!  Take the over on both!!
10. The Number of happy pets that were left home alone to chow in the Thanksgiving leftovers in the kitchen trash can, while the pet owners strolled Utica Square Lights On!!  Over/under 525.   Number of sick pets with bad turkey and dressing Thanksgiving night!!  Over/under 50.  Take the over on both!!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

Faked Out College Football Picks

Oklahoma 52  West Virginia 42

All the Ok State fans are rooting for the Mountaineers to win, all the Oklahoma fans are yelling for their Sooners to win and all of the ’Cane fans and the little hog  fans are just waiting for the round ball season to commence!!!  West Virginia coach     receding hairline, who spends more time yelling than coaching, tried his famous Broke Back Mountain halftime speech and it backfired!!! 

Missouri 38  Arkansas 26

We must chalk this season up to new coach, new offense, new players and an overall new way of doing things in hog football land!!  Coach Morris postgame chat with his players was positive but is starting to sound like a broken record!!  He continually is singing the same song every week!!  Coach Morris is good with the rah rah stuff but how good is he if the losses continue next year? Maybe he can get suggestions from TU coach Montgomery!!

Virginia Tech 31  Virginia 27

Va Tech pulls out a big win with an in-state rival!!  Faked Out Sports favorite coach Justin Fuente hopefully gives FOS a phone interview!!  Does anyone have his cell??  I can offer Mazios coupons for the ex-Union QB!!

Central Florida 52  South Florida 44

Two solid AAC teams that no one respects nationally!!  Central Florida could win 80 in a row and not be mentioned in any national publication!!

Washington State 42 Washington 34

State kicks some Husky butt!!   After the game Coach Leach asks 6th-year senior Husky QB if he has any eligibility left?  The young man gave coach Leach the finger!!  Leach returned the finger!!

Texas A&M 36  LSU 31

The Aggies are heading for a nice Bowl, perhaps against the OSU Cowmullets in the Vizio Alamo Bowl!!  

Oklahoma State 42  TCU  27

Oklahoma State’s gauntlet run to get back to their Vizio Alamo Bowl was enhanced by their win over Coach Tasmanian Devil’s TCU team!!  Pistol Pete lassoed up some Horned frogs and cooked them for dinner that night!!!

Tulsa 28  SMU 23

TU again had a huge pre-game tailgate party at WILD FORK at Utica Square where numerous Hurricane Club elder statesmen and SMU Senior Pony Express Club members had another rhubarb!!!  Numerous Seniors were upset from both sides of the angry football groups.  An angry Hurricane club patron blamed an elder Senior Pony Express patron of taking her lental bean salad!!  Layers of makeup and eyeshadow were thrown all over the Wild Fork floor as ladies from both schools fought until the Utica Square Unicycle Police arrived and tased 7 ladies!!   EMSA Ambulances were called due to all of the hair that was singed because of hairspray!!!  The SMU and TU men embarrassingly went on to the game!!!

Alabama 51 Auburn 24

Alabama spanked Auburn so bad that a number of Auburn player moms were upset and threatened Coach Calzone to take their kids out of football class!!

Notre Dame 34 USC 24

Note Dame beats USC in a traditional battle where both teams were ready to get the game over with!!

Ohio State 31  Michigan 24

This is a huge game that would allow Coach Kahki to finally beat the Buckeyes but NO.......upset breath!!  Ohio State beats the Wolverines with a last minute hail mary throw!!

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