Tuesday, January 21, 2020

Get Back Coaches! and Big 12-SEC Picks

FOS/B in T

FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

FOS Notes ’bout Nuthin:

GET BACK COACHES??!!  Are you joking??   COACHES hired to pull back other coaches from getting a penalty flag?!
I would think that the coaches at Clemson, Georgia and the Los Angeles Rams could simply wield a certain bit of restraint rather than create another coaching position!!  There is always a chance that a Get Back Coach could accidentally pull down the coach's pants or disconnect a headphone cable and cause mass confusion!!  The Get Back coach is mainly responsible for keeping the main coach or dude who thinks he is important enough to have a Get Back Coach by grabbing him throughout the game to make sure 
he does not do one of the following:
  1. Get flagged for being on the field of play!
  2. Spit on the Referee!
  3. Make sure he is hydrated!
  4. Make sure he does not trip over electric cords hanging on his head!
  5. Make sure the over-exaggerated coach does not try to get in the field to make a jarring tackle!!
Top Get Back Coaches in 2019:
  1. Brent Venables- Defensive Coordinator Clemson- he once jumped on the field and ate a division III player!
  2. Sean McVay- Head Coach Los Angeles Rams. This seems to be just for show since this little fellow is not very scary looking!

FOS Fun Facts:  

-England's First Family has entered the famous transfer portal!!  Hehehehe! 

-Mike Leach is the new coach of Mississippi State!  I love this man!  He believes in UFOs, crop circles and can turn an interview into a comedy club!!  Having Coach Leach will offset grumpy Saban in the SEC!  Coach Leach and preppy Lane Kiffon coaching in the same state and SEC could be dangerous!

-Get Back Coaches are needed in youth sports for all parent coaches who exaggerate the significance of a bad call in a 3rd-grade football game!!  Get Back Coaches should be get a life coaches!!

-The Texas Tech basketball team is having great success with Chris Beard as their coach. The team has almost 16 men suited up for each game, plus the trainers!!  The Texas Tech suit allowance for assistant coaches is $1,000 a month between 16 coaches!!  A poultry $62.50 dollars a month per coach!!  Coach Beards girlfriend Randi Trew agreed to do the sewing for $150,000 a year!!  Umm interesting.......... 



FOS Bobbleheads:

My OKC 18 month old granddaughter, Frankie, whom I am personally training basketball crossover, around the back, no look and Euro Step moves is on a 3-year-old AAU team!!  
This team is sponsored by Kimberly/Clark (Pull-Ups Division) and Huggies Wipes!!  I just made that up so don't send letters!


FOS College Basketball Picks: 

BIG 12 - SEC CHALLENGE PICK:

Auburn 88 Iowa State 74
Auburn coach Bruce Pearl who is well known for his animated reactions to referee calls!!  The Pearl was a more red-faced used car salesman than ever!!  The Tigers kept the Clones one step behind throughout the game!!  As long as Coach Pearl stays one step ahead of the NCAA probation police things will be just fine for Pearl and the Auburn Tigers!!


Texas 74 LSU 69
The Big 12 finally found a team that can beat the LSU Tigers in something!! Texas has jacked up some wins against teams like the High Point Dryers so their NET rankings are weak!!  Home win against a reasonable Tiger team should help!!

Oklahoma 77 Mississippi State 65
The Sooners take the Bulldogs to task with power forward Brady Mannix hitting more 3s than a 3 for one happy hour at O’Connells Irish Pub in Norman!!  Lately as Brady goes so do the Sooners!!  Stay healthy and make your grades young man!!

Kansas 81 Tennessee 68
The Jayhawks have hung around the top 3 all year long and should he there at tournament time!!  Tennessee no longer has Bruce Pearl to pick on and current coach Rick Barnes is to nice and successful as a Volunteer to abuse!!  Still, playing Kansas at Allen Fieldhouse is like General Custer playing at the Little Bighorn Battlefield!  


Oklahoma State 74 at Texas A&M 66
Texas A&M took care of the Cowboys in football at the Hooters 👀Bowl in December!!  So, the Cowboys return the favor in Stillwater’s, Iba Arena!  The SEC is looking weak in the basketball world and will have to refer to coach Saban for revamping the whole SEC basketball 🏀  scene!!

Arkansas 89 TCU 86
Coach Musselman defeats his old adversary Jamie Dixon in a close game at the Schollmeier Arena in Fort Worth!  Numerous hog fans have jumped on the Muscleman/Arkansas bandwagon!!  The Tyson Frozen Foods stock has skyrocketed since the basketball team has reached the top 25!!

************Upset Special************
Texas Tech 81 Kentucky 77
Tech coach Chris Beard knows exactly how to get transfers over to beautiful Lubbock, Texas!!  First of all, have at least 10 cheerleaders with each prospect at all times his Senior high school year!!  Secondly, Texas Tech’s United Supermarkets Arena gives each transfer free hot dogs for his or her life during each home game!

Kansas State 68 Alabama 64
K State Wildcats are on a 4 game winning streak and look like the Wildcats of the days of Jack Hartman!!

West Virginia 78 Missouri 77
Missouri’s small contingency of upper-middle-class fans in black and gold sweater vests were very intimidated by the Ma and Pa fans from Morgantown!!  One Tiger fan was wearing a fur coat that was punched by a Mountaineer fan sitting on the next row!!

The rest of the FOS picks picked by the picker!

South Dakota 74 ORU 70
The Dakota Coyotes are no relation to the Wylie E. Coyotes of Looney Tune fame but they do have the imagination and trickery to beat the Golden Eagles!!  ORU plays tough but the igloo accommodations of the town called Vermillion were not very hospitable!!

UConn 67 Tulsa 61
The Tulsa fans are getting restless and the restaurants on 11th Street are starting to close during TU events since restaurant ownership seems to save money by not opening on game day!!

Kansas 81 at Oklahoma State 71
Coach Self returns to Stillwater where he learned how to play basketball and flirt with cheerleaders!!  Oklahoma State coach Mike Boynton is fast becoming a really good and well-respected man about town!!  The OSU big men are no match for the KU hosses!! 

Words of Wisdom from the unwise one!  Never ever leave your favorite TU hat on the floor for your favorite dog to chew up!!

Have a great sports week!

B in T/ FOS








B, in T
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Tuesday, January 14, 2020

Big College Basketball Upset Pick by B in T!

FOS/B in T

FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

FOS Notes ’bout Nuthin!

If Trumpy is impeached why is he still sitting in the Whitehouse?

Back when I was in the workforce if I fired someone or was canned myself, there was a person in the area that would be carrying an empty box to put the soon to be ex-employees stuff in!!  I do not foresee a Nancy Pelosi standing outside Trumper’s door with a small box to put his shat in!!  I cannot see the Trumpinator doing an exit interview or filing for unemployment either!!  Saying Trump is impeached is like saying he is tall!  It means nothing, sounds cool but nothing. Someone get a fricking box and walk his big ass out!!  Or just stand aside and let him and his brash balls run the country, please!!  This is getting old, and I am reaching the grumpy old fart stage of my life!!!


ORU Basketball - Sleeping Giant!!
ORU is ranked 109th in the first NET College Besketball ranking of 2019-2020!  What is the NET Ranking?  This is the new, algorithm ranking that weighs heavy on the opponent's schedule outcome of all 352 Division 1 basketball teams!!  The Oral Roberts basketball ranking of 109 is the highest the Golden Eagles have ever been ranked!!  Obviously, they have had a mother of a schedule this year and stand 9-8!!  Good for them!  Now everyone back to the Prayer Tower!!

Jason Garrett ex-Cowboy Coach Fired but Still Hanging Around Offices??


Jason has hung around 5 or 6 years longer than he should have in Cowboy land!!  Now he seems to hang around even when he is fired or not re-upped!!

FIRED!!!🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Mike McCarthy, formerly HC at Green Bay, was hired by Jerry Jones and the Dallas Cowboys!  

FOS Bobblehead Sports:
In one of B in T's previous posts, it was mentioned that my toddler basketball team was awaiting the arrival or signing of Power Forward Charlie Lohmeyer by February 10th!!  
Well her centimeter chart is off the scale so we are moving the due or signing date up to Jan 24th!!  This is good since my toddler team of 5 grandkids has it's the first game at Thornton Y in March!!  Hehehehehe!  

FOS College Basketball Picks:

ORU 88 at Western Illinois 77
The Golden Eagles of Tulsa have two conference road wins this year which is one more than they had all of 2018-19!!  ORU Freshman Max Ambas is averaging 13.8 points per game and is helping balance the Eagles offensively!!  Good things are ahead for ORU!

Baylor 81 at Oklahoma State 70
Baylor women could beat the Baylor men!!  Both are better than the OSU men, maybe!?  The Baylor men led by Scott Drew have more wingspan than a heard of Pterodactyls!!  The second half 13-0 run by the Bears quiets the Cowboy faithful!

Kansas 75 at Texas 70
The Longhorn student body was warned by the President to not do anything to embarrass the school more than their football coach has already done!!  The students did wear fedora hats with FBI in cap letters in honor of Coach Hollywood Self!!

Tulsa 66 at Tulane 63
The Golden Hurricane get a huge road victory by simply uglying up the game in New Orleans!!  The Hurricane Happy Timers Entourage took a bus to New Orleans to enjoy the game and the festivities in New Orleans!!  A number of the lady Happy Timers were caught with edible cannabis burritos on Bourbon Street!!  They were not charged but made to share!!  

Oklahoma 82 TCU 69
Coach Jamie Dixon is one of the best in the Big 12 and very well respected throughout the nation!!  Although his hair looks as though he has been struck by lightning 3 times!!  He has actually only been struck once!!  Seriously, OU’s Brady Mannix scored 23 with 9 rebounds and the Sooners pull away in the second half!!

Arkansas 77 Kentucky 72
***********UPSET SPECIAL************
Arkansas’ Coach Mussleman is muscling up for national coach of the year honors if he is not careful!!  Hog Forward Mason Jones scored 28 against the Kentucky thoroughbreds while coach Calipari and his 14 assistants looked in amazement as if the Grinch had stolen a victory from the mighty Wildcats!!

Iowa State 77 Oklahoma State 70
Clone basketball 🏀goes unnoticed quite often!  No one wants to play basketball in Ames due to the freezing temperatures!  So how does Iowa State coach Steve Brohm get good players to his igloo!!??
Offer recruits gifts such as:
  
  1. Home for parents
  2. Nike shoes 👟100 pairs at least!
  3. If a five-star recruit, offer his posse Cartier watches!
  4. Any auto with gold rims!
  5. Medical marijuana card for life!
That is exactly how Kansas does it!  
Seriously OSU senior guards Waters, and Dzawagwa shot a miserable 27% from the field and could not keep up with the Clones speed and shiftiness!

FOS NFL Picks!

FOS AFC Championship Picks

Chiefs 38 Titans 31
The heavily favored Chiefs are very tough at home and the fans were given Coach Andy Reid masks with a paid admission!!  Chiefs QB Patrick Mahomes completed 25 - 30 passes the conventional style, 3 - 4 no-look passes and 1 - 1 around the back for a touchdown passes!!  Chief’s TE Kelce controls the medium passing lanes against the Titans for 10 receptions and a touchdown!!

FOS NFC Championship Pick:
49ers 27 Packers 24
Six inches of snow fell during game time.  A San Francisco team that plays on the sunny, Valley girl weather would SURELY be affected by the massive snow!!  WRONG abominable snowman breath!!  San Fran’s running game offense plowed through the Packers defense!  At the end of the game, the delighted 49er players had a giant snowball fight and the Packer players slowly sauntered back to their visitor lockers!

Words of wisdom from the unwise one!!
If your better half ever asks if a certain piece of wardrobe makes them look fat, simply buy a plane ticket to Destin, find a nice clean beach and bury your head in it!!
Have a great sports week!

FOS/ B in T
B, in T
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Tuesday, January 7, 2020

Five Reasons OU Lost! Plus Picks!



FOS/B in T

FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

FOS Notes ’bout Nuthin!

FOS 5 Real Reasons OU Was Shellacked By the LSU Tigers!
  1. LSU Tiger steroids are more effective down south!
  2. The referees were all from Baton Rouge!
  3. QB Burroughs parents were shown on ESPN 36 times while OU QB Hurts parents were shown 2 times! 
  4. The tall boxing dude with yellow teeth promoted by ESPN was on the LSU sidelines!
  5. Three days before the game OU Head Coach Riley and DC Grinch had purchased no refund plane tickets for the Bahamas three days after the OU beat down!


The Oklahoma Thunder Are Still Ballin’!!
The Thunder have parted ways with 2 all-star teams of talent since landing in OKC from Seattle!!  The performances of teams with, Kevin Durant, Russell Westbrook, and James Hardin have left the Thunder faithful empty-handed for NBA titles!!  The current youth movement with two veterans, Chris Paul and Danilo Gallinari and youngsters such as Terrance Ferguson, Shae Gilgius-Alexander, Himando Dalio, Darius Bazley and Nerlens Noel give the Thunder hopes for the future and maybe some playoff action for 2020!!  With the Thunder stockpiling draft choices like B in T stockpiled plastic army men when I was a youth!! (approx 103 army men 103 years ago!)  The Thunder home-court advantage is still one of the best in the NBA!!  Shae Gilgius, from Kentucky, is the team's leading scorer at the age of 20 and is destined for stardom!!  Bazley at the young age of 19 has tremendous wingspan and even more upside!!  Bazley was a draft risk but could be a stud in sheep's clothing!!  Last year's Thunder NBA slam dunk champion Himando Diallo has improved his overall game to match his athletic ability!!  A recent injury has slowed down Diallo, but he should be back to his 8 points and 4 rebounds by the first of the year!!  Carry on, OKC Thunder!!

FOS Bobblehead:
Tucked in the middle of Bible Belt Northeast Oklahoma you will find numerous youth sports parents making jack asses look nice!  With a new year starting, parents start to look at different sports for their next kid to master!’  As a sports advisor to my kids and now my grandkids I am urging my grandson Gustavo to not play American football until maybe 7th grade!!  With sons, Lance and Bryson, proud daddy rat thought they should put on pads when they were in Kindergarten!  Live and learn, B in T, live and learn!!  Ana, on the other hand, is on a football training plan at the age of 3 to be the best female flag football player in the history of Tulsa youth sports!!  Ok, ok, ok some Papas will never change!!  Hehehe!!

Jan 13 CFP National Championship Game

LSU 34 Clemson 28
LSU Quarterback Joe Burrow and Clemson QB Trevor Lawrence are both single young men and young ladies all over America are in love with these studs!!  During the game, all of America had a chance to vote for the best looking QB!!  ABC television will keep the voting open until after the awards ceremonies are complete!  Burrow completed 30-38 passes for 365 yards and 3 touchdowns!!  Trevor Lawrence completed 25 of 38 passes for 3 touchdowns and a costly 2 interceptions!!  Both head coaches, Dabo and Orgeron, hugged for 5 minutes after the game which became slightly uncomfortable after 2 minutes!!


FOS College Basketball Picks!

ORU 78 North Dakota State 77
Huge Conference win for the Golden Eagles!  ORU last defeated ND State when Nixon was impeached, and then pardoned!!  

Kansas 81 Baylor 74
The Jayhawks and Hollywood Self still have temporary offices set up on campus by the following, Nike, FBI, NCIS Basketball, CIA, and Self’s hair beautician!!  Also, the dudes who run all the Nike summer camps have a nice condo next to Bill in Aspen!!  True shat!  

TCU 78 Oklahoma State 74
The horned toads of of TCU play Jamie Dixon ball and defeat the Cowboys!!  Coach Dixon’s team played like their hair was on fire the last 5 minutes of the game in Fort Worth, TX!!

Tulsa 76 Houston 68
The Tulsa basketball nucleus is starting to play nasty defense!!  Again the team is NIT bound if lucky, but the talent is close!!  The Tulsa Hurricane Happy Timer crowd was going to The Buccaneer bar for the Senior 65 and over, 2 for 1 Mylanta and vodka shots!!  The Buccaneer brought free pizza for the TU fans and free Bud light beer coolies for TU Happytimers who do not break anything in the bar!!

West Virginia 79 Texas 72
West Virginia Mountaineers have giant sycamore trees and giant big men on the basketball team!!  Texas coach Shakaka’s stay in Texas could be cut short if they keep losing to average teams!!

Arkansas 82 at Ole Miss 72
The Razorbacks are off to a fast beginning this year!!  NCAA Tourney very possible!!

FOS College Basketball Game of the Week: Oklahoma 77 Kansas 72
The Sooners retain one of the shorter starting line ups in the nation!!  Kansas shot 34% from the floor but 22 for 30 free throws kept the game close!! 

FOS NFL Playoffs!

Vikings 24 at 49ers 20
The Viking tandem of Kurt Cousins to Kenneth Rudolph hooked up for another touchdown and 103 yards against the 49ers!  The Mad Max Road Warriors won their second road playoff game in a row!!  QB Cousins was pretty average with the Redskins but he has hooked up with Viking OC Kevin Stefanski to have a career-best year in 2019-20!!  Coach Stefanski is interviewing for the Cleveland Browns HC position!!  

Packers 27 Seattle 17 
The Packers and their State Farm Insurance QB Aaron Rodgers are a difficult team to beat in football and packaging car and home insurance quotes!!  A number of his Green Bay teammates are insurance sales reps for State Farm!  In fact, all season ticket holders, they are required to be insured by State Farm for home and auto!!

Ravens 34 Titans 24
The Ravens and their superman QB Lamar Jackson who threw for 2 touchdowns AND received a touchdown pass on a dipsy do play on the 4-yard-line!!  Jackson threw a 74-yard touchdown missile to Oklahoma WR Marquise Brown and went into a telephone booth and change into Superman while Sooner Brown put his yellow tights on and presented himself as Robin, Batman’s loyal companion!!  Or, was that his butler, buddy Alfred?

Chiefs 32 Texans 27
Texan’s Quarterback Deshaun Watson mocked Chiefs QB Mahomes by throwing two no-look passes in warmups hitting Texan’s QB coach in the head!  In the game, Watson hit his favorite target Wide Out Andre Hopkins 7 times for 140 yards and one touchdown!  The Chiefs, with injuries, are winning with a running back Darwin Thompson that did not start for Jenks High School!!  True shat folks!!  But Mahomes is my homie slice and the Chiefs defense is bad but the Texans defense reeeaaaal bad!  KC by 5!!


Words of wisdom from the unwise one!  Save a cow 🐄, eat a CHICKEN!

Have a great sports week!!

FOS/ B in T
B, in T
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