Calling for New Coach in Dallas
Every fuuurrrrricking year for the past umpteen years the Dallas Cowboys football team has been average at best and really sucky at worst!! Coach Howdy Doody looks totally clueless and has the personality of a sloth on acid!!Time to make a change Jerry!! Here are a few suggestions from Faked Out Sports for your next coach!!
- Barry Switzer, he is younger than Bill Snyder!!
- Lincoln Riley, would look good in Cowboy blue!! He is numero uno pick!!
- Mike Leach, best one-liners in college football!
- Les Miles, he has beaten Alabama!
- Mike Vrabel, Tennessee Titans, very hot commodity and great with the players, but stern!!
- John DeFilippo, Offensive Coordinator Vikings, likes Italian food!!
- Robert Saleh, Defensive Coordinator 49ers, long shot!!
- Dabo Swinney, Clemson, greatest name in the history of coaching names!
- Any of the four Tulsa area High School Stud Coaches at Union, Owasso, Jenks or Broken Arrow!! David Alexander of Broken Arrow and former INFC 5th grade coach of the year seems to be the front runner!!
- Bob Stoops, Jerry Jones is having him and his wife over for some home cooking by their kitchen staff!
Faked Out College Picks!
Oklahoma 48 Oklahoma State 28
Bedlam is not nearly as Bedlamish as usual thanks to OU’s advantage at Quarterback!! Both defenses combined, cannot stop any in-state NAIA, or Junior College offenses!!! The OSU and OU cheerleaders had a cheer-off to the Drake challenge KeKe!!! The Sooner female students started singing the song to ex Sooner wide-out DeDe Westbrook!! ‘DeDe do you love me, thinking of me,’?!
Memphis 33 Tulsa 31
Road trips to Memphis are always eventful and the Tigers may have found another way to show TU how to lose a last-minute battle!
LSU 42 Arkansas 30
Coach Ed is looking good for National Coach of the Year!! If LSU wins out he should be a lock as long as he doesn't have to speak!! His voice can make babies cry and toddlers run!!
Texas Tech 42 Texas 34
Coach Kingsbury also known as Coach 9-lives seems to pull rabbits out of a magicians hat and move them straight to the starting Quarterback at Texas Tech!! Numerous Big 12 teams seem to have no problem making QB changes and possibly using a Freshman or a Grad Transfer while some coaches are afraid to go out on a limb and make a switch!! Coach Mullet???
West Virginia 45 TCU 27
TCU is trending towards a Poinsettia Hydra-lift Bowl in Billings, Montana!! West Virginia Quarterback Will Grier is pretty cocky, his Heisman candidacy cannot be carried by his good looks alone!! TCU coach Patterson is the new Tasmanian Devil, replacing ex-TU coach Todd Graham!! When the 5’8” 230 pounds Patterson’s face turns red and he slams his headphones on the football turf it usually means that a player or a coordinator is about to get an earful jack shittocci mushrooms!!
Texas A&M 38 Ole Miss 31
The Aggies are working on a nice season under coach Jimbo Fisher!!
Nebraska 34 Illinois 24
Nebraska coach Frosted is no longer on the coaching lukewarm seat, with a couple of wins!! Lovie Smith is feeling the heat so much that he has bought a moving company in Champaign to assist in his move back to the Mapleridge area of Tulsa a la Coach Pat Jones!!
Alabama 44 Mississippi State 31
Mississippi State Bulldogs kept somewhat close to the Alabama until the Tide’s defense started to dominate the line of scrimmage!! Sour puss Saban even cracked a smile when their 5th sack was recorded in the third quarter!!
Georgia 42 Auburn 34
Georgia seems to have the Auburn Tigers number! Coach Malzhan’s fly sweep, triple reverse, and hidden man gimmick plays are starting to backfire on he and his 70 million dollar contract!!
Washington State 45 Colorado 38
An improved Colorado Buffalo team puts a scare into Leach’s Cougar team but they prevail in the end thanks to their QB, 6th year Senior Gardner Minshew!!
The Spartans snuck up on the Buckeyes and won a decisive Big Ten game!! Coach Meyer is heading towards a two-year sabbatical after a season of high drama and losses!!
Penn State 34 Wisconsin 31
Wisconsin has a Freshman Right Tackle that is 6’9” and weighs 407 pounds soaking wet!! He has not played yet but had a lot of fans in the Badger student section!! Numerous female students have befriended him to keep the creepy looking fraternity dudes away!!!
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