Wednesday Edition!
From the corporate offices of Bryan in Tulsa, I am sending each subscriber a dozen chocolate donuts!! No shat!
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Bryan in Tulsa
FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM
Center Stuff:
USA Boccia Ball Regionals in Kansas City, May 6, 7, and 8!!!
The entire Tulsa Center for the Physically Limited is wetting their pants after finding out when the tournament date is AND that there will be a variety POPCORN 🍿 FUNDRAISER!! Many of my 19 readers or followers as they are now called, helped raise money by purchasing bags and bags of popcorn so we can dominate in the USA Boccia trials in Kansas City!! We THANK YOU from the bottom of our hearts ❤️!!! I have recommended that we take 2 stretch handicap stretch limos with margarita and cappuccino machines with the funds!! Thank so much to Margie and Wendy for putting popcorn money to good use!!
Hahaha! Just kidding, or not?!?!
B in T Rants:
RPOs: What are they?!? I took a survey of old farts - 60 plus years of age and over with the top 3 answers:
-Aliens
-Medicine for constipation
-Registered Republican Oddball- RPO
No not these!
RPOs are known to football nerds as RUN PASS OPTION!
A QB within seconds has the option to fish or cut bait with each mode a road to the end zone! Todd Monken was recently hired as an OC for the Baltimore Ravens straight from the Georgia Bulldogs!! His college RPO style will now fit into the Raven's offense and stud QB Lamar Jackson!! Numerous NFL teams are using the RPO offense ie: Eagles and QB Hurts, Cardinals and QB Kyler Murray! The projected top three QBs in the 2023 draft are RPO-style players, Anrhony Richardson, Bryce Young and C J Stroud!!
More spy balloons were shot down over Canada, England, the USA, and Woolarock, Oklahoma! No shat folks!! Reports from White House press state that trigger-happy President Biden has shot down numerous balloons at a balloon festival at Woolarock, Oklahoma!! So far Biden has shot down 4 weather balloons 🎈, 2 spy balloons, 2 Paw Patrol balloons, and a Goodyear blimp!! Tragic, but no injuries, and while numerous countries are on Defcon 2, last issued during the Cuban missile crisis in 1962, and numerous lawsuits are being compiled as we speak!! Thanks to the Biden administration for their delayed and then panic-ridden response Paw Patrol balloons being shot down in cold-blooded murder!! Numerous toddlers and parents are facing years of recovery from seeing the Paw Patrol missile incident!!
I am tremendously upset regarding the ‘You Suck D---’ sung, in harmony, by the Oklahoma State Senior Citizen Posse Club!! The Kansas preppy freshman guard Grady Dick seemed to thrive on the Dick chants!! Really the only thing I am upset by; is that I did not think of the chant!!
At one time OSU Cowboy basketball team was 9-8 and 1-4 in the conference!! The current team has an 16-14 record and an 7-9 conference mark with a 48 NET ranking!! The return of a healthy 7’1” center Cisse’ is a human flyswatter and once blocked a ball out of GIA into a pitcher of Busch Lite at Eskimo Joes! But a losing streak at the end of conference play have the Pokes looking at the NCAA from the outside! Look for the Pokes to have a scary time getting in the tourney unless they get hot in the Big 12 Tournament!
What really happened according to my sources:
See below⬇️
The suit sitting behind the young lady just had some jalapeno chili cheese fries and had tremendous gas! Plus she thought the guy in the green beanie was an actor and does not know who LeBron James is!!
The movie Nope is dope bro!!
Explanation: Unknown, must be high to comprehend, Mr. Peele is a genius, or UFO on ‘roids!
B in T MLB
Cardinals
Wainwright’s fastball topped at 85mph, curve at 68mph!
Right-hander 21-year-old Tinker Hence (no relation to Tinker Owens) fastball never went below 96 and his sinker drops down to hell and back as my Uncle Jeff used to say!
Jordan Walker will start in left field on opening day and be the Rookie of the year in NL!!
Cubs
SS Dansby Swanson will be the leadoff and steal 35 bases this year!
Rangers
P Jacob deform can be nasty and if healthy can be the no. 1 of the staff but that is a huge IF bro!
Dodgers
The Dodgers lost SS Lux for the year after planting to stop while running the bases 2nd to third. Out for the year, sad! The Cards have 3 second basemen the would trade for deGrom!
Royals
The Royals have more talent in their AA Northwest Arkansas team than their major league team!! Seriously google it! After Bobby Witt Jr., in KC, the next-best player is in the minors!!
Brewers
The Brew Crew will be the only threat to world baseball domination by the Cardinals!
Astros
The Stros should win the AL the pennant in 2023 again!! Altuve will be the lovable stuffed doll/player that Aunt Donna and Uncle Howard will worship every day through the ‘23 year season!! Too bad the Cardinals will win the World Series in 2023!!
B in T College Basketball Picks
CONFERENCE TOURNAMENTS:
Big 12
Phillips 66 Tournament
In Kansas City- second home for the Kansas Jayhawks! Ha! Ha!
Oklahoma 71 0klahoma State 70
Both area teams have had a Jekyll and Hyde season! In continuance Oklahoma wins the last Big 12 season and goes to the Big Dance!! While Oklahoma State is the last team picked for the 2023 Big Dance!!
Iowa State 78 Baylor 75
The Cyclones Jaren Holmes like his predecessor Caleb Grill have both been dismissed from the team for unknown reasons. In each case, the Cloners have rallied to win!! Who will be dismissed next to ensure the victory!!
AAC Tournament
Dickies Arena Fort Worth
Tulsa 67 Wichita State 65
Major upset which could push TU into the national spotlight!! And again this is a homer pick and a blue and gold unicorn could make an appearance at halftime!! No shat!
SEC Tournament
Nashville, Tennessee
Arkansas 83 Auburn 80
Razorbacks Nick Smith scored 26 points, grabbed 5 boards, and managed 4 assists as the Hogs overcame a 17-point-second half defect!!
Bobblehead Sports:
Have a great sports week!
Bryan in Tulsa
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