Oklahoma 45 Texas 35
Incredible game with both coaches using their star QBs to lead their teams to an inevitable outcome!! Coach Riley used Jalen Hurts to orchestrate drive after drive of scoring perfection and then victory!! On the other hand, Texas coach Hermann was able to use his QB Sammy Ehlinger to perfectly hand out Gatorade Orange during timeouts!! Longhorn mascot Bevo became angry at an OU Pom Pon lady when she gave Bev’ the horns upside-down sign!! Bevo busted out of the cage and chased the young and horrified cheerleader until she turned around and smacked the Bevo on the nose causing the large steer to crash to the Cotton Bowl turf!! True story!!
Tulsa 38 Navy 27
The Golden Hurricane marketing gurus came up with probably the most ingenious plan for an atmosphere at Chapman Stadium in a hundred years!! During the Navy game, Blue and Gold Jello shots were sold for 1 dollar until there were 2 minutes left in the game!! At that point, if TU was winning everyone with a ticket stub received free Jello shots until the game clock hit zero!!
Numerous alums and students were seen flashing dollars to TU players and coaches to drag the game out as long as possible!! A couple of hundred Tulsa Police, County Sheriffs and the National Guard were called in to control the wild Golden Hurricane crowd!!
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Texas A&M 31 Alabama 28
B in T and Mrs. B in T will be at Kyle Stadium with their super awesome Aunt, Uncle, and Cousins who like to drink and watch football!! Our box seats are between Aggie Mascot Reveille and the Aggie cannon simply to muffle any flatuants released by an excited B in T!! The Friday night beer garden endeavor for the Tulsa visitors and their gracious hosts turned out to be a beer tasting frenzy!! Such beers as the Naked Iguana pumpkinater were drunk in mass quantities!! And how can we forget the beer of the evening, the Fruity Ale Peanut Butter Ale!! Then, hard sleep, 4 Extra Strength Tylenol and Donna’s favorite chili with beans and ghost pepper omelet Saturday morning!! I love our gracious relatives and their view of Donna’s garden in the backyard!! Please play good A&M!!
Iowa State 38 West Virginia 32
West Virginia fans are wondering if they can get coach Holgversen back from the mighty AAC, Houston Cougars! They have rumored to attempting the first-ever coaching trade: Coach Mullet Dana back to West Virginia for newly acquired coach Neal Brown, with Coach Brown the University of Houston, would receive the City Keys to Morgantown, 1 billion dollars, reimbursement for hair product monies spent during Dana’s stay with the Cougars and the monument built for Coach Dana must be destroyed in a downtown ceremony! All this shat is true!!
Oh, Iowa State is real good again and West Virginia still sucks!
Kentucky 37 Arkansas 35
Razorback defensive coordinator John Chavous threw a giant hissy fit at halftime after his defense gave up 30 points to the Wildcats!! Words were uttered out if his mouth such as: Blank this blank! This is blanked! Blankety blank these blaker blankers!
At the post-game press conference, he told the media to get the blank out of here and to stick all these microphones and phone recorders up their blanks sideways!! Coach Chavous was mad!!
LSU 28 Florida 24
LSU QB has made coach Orgeron look like the next Mouse Davis spread, fly sweep offensive guru!! What, the spread offense is in the SEC?! Man the lifeboats, the conference of the Gods from the south is sinking!!
Iowa 24 Penn State 23
The Hawkeyes and the Nittany Lions had a good ole Robo Boxer fight in Iowa City, Iowa!! Coach Ferentz of Iowa is known for his defensive mind and the recruiting beefcake football players!! Last-minute field goal wins game for the Hawkeyes!!
Wisconsin 27 Michigan State 20
Michigan State defense against Wisconsin's Heisman RB, Johnathon Taylor, and Mr. Taylor won by running for 128 yards and 2 touchdowns!!
Minnesota 30 Nebraska 21
Nebraska continues to push for bowl eligibility and continues to come up short!! The huge Nebraska fan base is getting their collective butts Frost...ed by their play!!
Houston 36 Cincinnati 31
There are numerous talented team's in the AAC and these two teams are right at the top!! Houston QB D’Eriq King decided to concentrate on his studies and backup QB Clayton Tune ran all over the Cincinnati for 136 yards and passed for 279 yards!!
Cincinnati QB Desmond Ridder was very accurate but his receivers had the dropsies!!
1 comment:
First, please be mindful of what happened the last time you made a mascot bust-out prediction. We don't need to get Peta's attention. They could ruin it for many schools....what would Arkansas do without their pig?
Second, If the jello shots are hurricanes then I'm in. I don't care, NO I don't care...it's 5 o'clock somewhere.
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