FOS/B in T
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Pumpkin Man imitator caught flashing southside Tulsa at Woodland Hills Mall portable booth dispensary!!
🎃Tulsa Police were summoned to a portable dispensary at Woodland Hills Mall where a man with a plastic pumpkin man mask and a trenchcoat was accused of flashing female shoppers!! The world of high school twitter blew up as 20,000 high school students from Oklahoma headed to the Mall to see if it was the real pumpkin man and to see if he was handing out edibles!! The students left Woodland Hills empty-handed with the real Pumpkin Man still in hiding!! The fake Pumpkin Man left Woodland Hills in handcuffs!!
🎃Later that day the real Pumpkin Man was evidently spotted at Life Church in Bixby on the giant screen with Reverend Craig Groeschel handing out edibles for medical purposes only!! The scene went viral on twitter and 30,000 high schoolers from Skiatook to Liberty Mounds showed up for free samples from Pumpkin 🎃🎃🎃🎃Man!! The Bixby Police directed traffic as Pumpkin Man escaped in the Munster Koach Mobile!! True story, Wikipedia it!!
FOS Notes ’bout Nuthin:
LETTERS TO EDITOR:
Questions often asked Faked Out Sports readers and creator!
Why do you read this crap?
A. Entertaining!
B. Helps with my morning constitution!
C. Bobbleheads section!
Why is B in T so homer bias?
A. Welcome to Oklahoma!
B. All sports writer wanna be’s are homers deep, deep down!
C. For my great readers! All 13!
Why do you write this shat?!
A. Helps my stroke recovery!
B. Love sports!!
C. Hopefully can make someone smile who might have a bad day!
Why is there so much TU bias?
A. Many of my 13 readers are TU grads!!
B. There are slightly over 2,000 media outlets for OU, OSU and Arkansas, why not let TU have a wittle, bitty piece of the bias pie?
Touchdown B in T!
C. I spent the best 5.5 years of my life getting my undergrad degree at 11th and Harvard!!
Is There An Alternative To The Booger McFarlane Dude On Monday Night Football? Please Espn Gods?
Here are a few FOS suggestions:
- Ryan on Kids Videos, great in front of the camera!
- Every female sports announcer that has ever had a breath would be better than Bugar and a fresh change for ESPN!!
- Pumpkin Man, why not!
- Tulsa’s KOTV Sports Director John ’Polo Shirt’ Holcomb!
- OU Sideline Reporter and Fox Radio Superstar Chris ’Walk The Plank’ Plank!
- Tulsa’s Cayden McFarlane, KJRH Superstar Sports Director
- Anchorman - Will Ferrell
- Oklahoma City sports anchor God Dean Blevins!!
- Miley Cyrus - my number 1 pick!! Would make the booth more lively and charismatic!! And much prettier!!
A player for the Nebraska Cornhuskers is named Decaprio Bootle!! Defensive Back Bootle is a starter and was indeed named after Leonardo Decaprio!!
Poor fellow! Numerous signs stating ’Need more Bootle’ are all over the Nebraska Stadium in Lincoln!!
FOS Bobblehead Sports
The World Is Becoming Different To Us Old Farts!!
B in T went to Ana’s 3-year-old birthday party a couple of weeks ago and heard some interesting conversations about exercising!! CrossBow Fit was discussed by the yuppie moms and I eavesdropped and overheard a ladies description of this new exercise!! Terms like cycling, ball crunching, and sit-ups with 100-pound free weights on your chest continued to be discussed!! Not one sport of bow and arrows or crossbows were mentioned!! Good ole hunting season is how we get our exercise in Blackwell, Oklahoma!! Yuppies are changing Papa’s world!!
AND!! Kale Candy Canes!?!?! Are You Shatting Me?!?! Gag Me With a Smurf!!
2nd Grade TYAA White 20 at Jenks Maroon 12
Jenks Maroon met it match today, with the Tulsa Youth Athletic Association Bulldogs!! These two-second grade powerhouses have more talent and speed than the Miami Dolphins!! Numerous college football scouts were at this game, all the way from Boston College!!
3rd Grade Pryor 25 Grove 0
One of the Pryor assistant coaches has ties with B in T and his 3 years of very amateur sports writing!! Thank you, Mr. Taylor, for giving me the courage to write silly sports stuff and for always being a positive role model for your kids and an old fart sports nerd!! Now back to the little Bobbleheads!! Grove and Pryor have been rivals since the Hatfield and the McCoys, since Texas and Oklahoma football, since the Coyote and the Roadrunner and of course Minnie Pearl and Grannie Clampet!! The Pryor kids entered the game through a giant double-decker inflatable helmet with Halloween music, and a Halloween fog machine!! The Grove squad entered the game in an exact replica of the Munsters Koach (see picture attached)!! This was the auto driven by Mr. and Mrs. Herman Munster in their younger days!! The Pryor little Eddie Munsters beat the Grove little Munsters soundly!!
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B, in T
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