FOS Ranks Top mascots in AAC/ Pumpkin 🎃 Man Sightings!

Faked Out Sports / B in T

FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

Where will FOS Pumpkin Man be this week to pass out edibles candy from his plastic pumpkin!!  🎃🎃  Pumpkin Man Mania is Throughout Northwest Oklahoma!!🎃🎃

🎃Pumpkin Man T-shirts are seen all over Tulsa, worn by toddlers to old farts!  

🎃Over 832 sightings of Pumpkin 🎃Man in Green Country so far this October!!

🎃Cannabis Shops all over Northwest Oklahoma are seeing record requests for the Pumpkin Man shaped chocolates!!

🎃Numerous sighting of Pumpkin Man sitting in hunting deer stands all through Payne County in Oklahoma!!

🎃You may find Pumpkin Man at a Freezer section at Reasor's with an apron on and a grey wig handing out edibles!!

🎃Pumpkin Man was seen at Utica Square driving a 1984 Toyota security truck throwing out mini Hershey squirts!!

🎃A number of high school kids swore Pumpkin Man was at Woodward Park and offered them Fatty shaped cigarettes!!  No trace of Pumpkin Man or Fatties were discovered by the TPD!!  Hmmmmm curious!!

FOS Notes ’Bout Nuthin!’

A La Washington State Coach Mike Leach, FOS / B in T Needs to Know Which Mascot In The American Athletic Conference Would Be The Toughest, Meanest, and Dang Nab Scariest Mother Chicken!?!?!?

1. Cougars - (Houston)-  Don't mess with a real big cougar or a female cougar!   Rated 8.5
2. Tigers - (Memphis) - like the Cougars watch out for large wild cats!!  Rated 8.5
3. MidShipmen - (Navy) - Midshipmen are lower-ranking Naval enlisted soldiers and were so named in the 1700s!!  Rated 6
4. Pirates - (East Carolina) - pirates control large ships with large cannons!!  Rated 9
5. Bulls - (South Florida) - bull can be very mean but they are not man-eaters!  Rated 7.5
6. Mustang - (SMU) - a mustang is a wild horse which can hurt with a horseshoe print on the forehead or ass!!  Rated 5.5
7. Knight - (Central Florida) - If you are of Knighthood in the medieval days of lore you were a frickin badass!!  Decapitating a whole army by yourself shat!!  Rated 9
8. Golden Hurricane - (Tulsa) -  a golden hurricane is a reference to a twister in the dust bowl days of Oklahoma in the 1920s, so a wind storm in Oklahoma is not a Category 4 or 5 hurricane in the Gulf!!  Rated 6.5
9. Huskies - (UCONN) lovable dog, who cares they are leaving to go to Conference USA. Rated 2.0
10. Bearcats - (Cincinnati) a bearcat can be tough but I have not met one!  Chubacobre?  Rated 5
11. Owls - (Temple) - Owls are scary to little kids around Halloween so very weak.  Rated 3
12. Green Wave - (Tulane) - Huge tidal wave and very dangerous!  Rated 9.5

Top 3 American Athletic Conference meanest mascots: 

1. Tulane
2. East Carolina
3. Tie:  Houston and Memphis

FOS Bobblehead Sports!

The World Is Becoming Different To Us Old Farts!!

B in T went to Ana’s 3-year-old birthday party a couple of weeks ago and heard some interesting conversations about exercising!!  CrossBow Fit was discussed by the yuppie moms and I eavesdropped and overheard a ladies description of this new exercise!!  Terms like cycling, ball crunching, and sit-ups with 100-pound free weights on your chest continued to be discussed!!  Not one sport of bow and arrows or crossbows were mentioned!!  Good ole hunting season is how we get our exercise in Blackwell, Oklahoma!!  Yuppies are changing Papa’s world!!

AND!!  Kale Candy Canes!?!?!  Are You Shatting Me?!?!  Gag Me With a Smurf!!

FOS Bobbleheads!

While little kids sports seems to be innocent, I truly believe that if kids were just allowed to get your neighbor buds together at a park and play football or baseball like in the 1970s life would be simpler!!  The involvement and mingling of parents have caused the games to be more competitive and less fun!!  Kids need to be kids and not sports robots to fulfill our parents dreams of being a super jock!!  This was paid for by Trump for President 2024!!  .......wait no!

2nd Grade Sand Springs Gold 12 Jenks Maroon 6

The SS Gold team was well-coached and all their players called the referees ’sir’, picked up their penalty flags, retrieved their water, and returned the ball to the referees after each play!!  SS Gold players even cleaned and shined each referee’s ball!!  What a great group of little jocks!!

3rd Grade Pryor 20 at Verdigris 7

The Pryor team is shooting for an undefeated season and have sights on the Bobblehead gold ball!!  Some of the Pryor gents have been promised SuperBowl tickets and a seat on the field for the halftime show with Jennifer Lopez and Shakira if they go undefeated!!  The moms shut that down quickly!!  Dang!!

FOS College Football Picks:

Oklahoma 45 Texas 35

Incredible game with both coaches using their star QBs to lead their teams to an inevitable outcome!!  Coach Riley used Jalen Hurts to orchestrate drive after drive of scoring perfection and then victory!!  On the other hand, Texas coach Hermann was able to use his QB Sammy Ehlinger to perfectly hand out Gatorade Orange during timeouts!!   Longhorn mascot Bevo became angry at an OU Pom Pon lady when she gave Bev’ the horns upside-down sign!!  Bevo busted out of the cage and chased the young and horrified cheerleader until she turned around and smacked the Bevo on the nose causing the large steer to crash to the Cotton Bowl turf!!  True story!!  

Tulsa 38 Navy 27

The Golden Hurricane marketing gurus came up with probably the most ingenious plan for an atmosphere at Chapman Stadium in a hundred years!!  During the Navy game, Blue and Gold Jello shots were sold for 1 dollar until there were 2 minutes left in the game!!  At that point, if TU was winning everyone with a ticket stub received free Jello shots until the game clock hit zero!!

Numerous alums and students were seen flashing dollars to TU players and coaches to drag the game out as long as possible!!  A couple of hundred Tulsa Police, County Sheriffs and the National Guard were called in to control the wild Golden Hurricane crowd!!

🏈🏈🏈🏈Upset Special🏈🏈🏈🏈

🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃

Texas A&M 31 Alabama 28

B in T and Mrs. B in T will be at Kyle Stadium with their super awesome Aunt, Uncle, and Cousins who like to drink and watch football!!  Our box seats are between Aggie Mascot Reveille and the Aggie cannon simply to muffle any flatuants released by an excited B in T!!  The Friday night beer garden endeavor for the Tulsa visitors and their gracious hosts turned out to be a beer tasting frenzy!!  Such beers as the Naked Iguana pumpkinater were drunk in mass quantities!!  And how can we forget the beer of the evening, the Fruity Ale Peanut Butter Ale!!  Then, hard sleep, 4 Extra Strength Tylenol and Donna’s favorite chili with beans and ghost pepper omelet Saturday morning!!  I love our gracious relatives and their view of Donna’s garden in the backyard!!  Please play good A&M!!

Iowa State 38 West Virginia 32

West Virginia fans are wondering if they can get coach Holgversen back from the mighty AAC, Houston Cougars!  They have rumored to attempting the first-ever coaching trade:  Coach Mullet Dana back to West Virginia for newly acquired coach Neal Brown, with Coach Brown the University of Houston, would receive the City Keys to Morgantown, 1 billion dollars, reimbursement for hair product monies spent during Dana’s stay with the Cougars and the monument built for Coach Dana must be destroyed in a downtown ceremony!  All this shat is true!!

Oh, Iowa State is real good again and West Virginia still sucks!

Kentucky 37 Arkansas 35

Razorback defensive coordinator John Chavous threw a giant hissy fit at halftime after his defense gave up 30 points to the Wildcats!!  Words were uttered out if his mouth such as: Blank this blank!  This is blanked!  Blankety blank these blanker blankers! At the post-game press conference, he told the media to get the blank out of here and to stick all these microphones and phone recorders up their blanks sideways!!  Coach Chavous was mad!!

LSU 28 Florida 24

LSU QB has made coach Orgeron look like the next Mouse Davis spread, fly sweep offensive guru!!  What, the spread offense is in the SEC?!  Man the lifeboats, the conference of the Gods from the south is sinking!! 

Iowa 24 Penn State 23
The Hawkeyes and the Nittany Lions had a good ole Robo Boxer fight in Iowa City, Iowa!!  Coach Ferentz of Iowa is known for his defensive mind and the recruiting beefcake football players!!  Last-minute field goal wins game for the Hawkeyes!!

Wisconsin 27 Michigan State 20

Michigan State defense against Wisconsin's Heisman RB, Johnathon Taylor, and Mr. Taylor won by running for 128 yards and 2 touchdowns!!  

Minnesota 30 Nebraska 21

Nebraska continues to push for bowl eligibility and continues to come up short!!  The huge Nebraska fan base is getting their collective butts Frost...ed by their play!!

Houston 36 Cincinnati 31

There are numerous talented team's in the AAC and these two teams are right at the top!!  Houston QB D’Eriq King decided to concentrate on his studies and backup QB Clayton Tune ran all over the Cincinnati for 136 yards and passed for 279 yards!!

Cincinnati QB Desmond Ridder was very accurate but his receivers had the dropsies!!

FOS High School Picks

BTW 38 at Shawnee 23

BTW Wideout/Linebacker Javian Hester looks like he is headed to Mizzou to play great for an average team!!  Two sacks and a pick against Shawnee!!  Three Mizzou coaches and a new Chevy Camaro were there to see Javian!!

McAlester 34 Hale 16

The Buffalos defeated B in T’s Hale Rangers in McAlester!!  Earlier in the week numerous All-State alums from Nathan Hale met with the team to give them some words of wisdom!!  Bruce Taton, Jim Carner, Mike Rollins, Mike Music, Stan Minor from the late 70s and David Vickers from the 80s told the current Rangers what it took for them to be leaders and successful young student-athletes!!  The old geezers challenged the current Ranger team to a flag football game but the game ended after the elder Rangers pulled up lame with multiple groins pulls!!

FOS Mom-O-Meter

Hale moms .967  McAlester moms .960    The deciding factor was the powder puff football game where numerous McAlester moms were confused about the rules!!  There seemed to be issues about the difference between two below football and tackle football!!  Numerous McAlester moms continued to pull the Hale moms pants or shorts down after the touch tackle was made!!  These penalties cost McAlester moms the Powder Puff trophy!!

FOS High School Diner of the week!

Marilyn’s  - 1211 George Nigh Expressway, McAlester, Ok.  Ten years ago the diner was visited by Carrie Underwood!!  She raved about the jalapeno cheese grits!!  From that day forth, folks from all over the USA and Canada visit Marilyn’s to have some Underwood jalapeno cheese grits!!  Underwood’s music label would not allow a song about jalapeno cheese grits!!  Pretty cool or dope!!

Owasso 42 at Edmond North 20

The Ram players were very disappointed in their play and blamed a lot of it on the big screen TV not working on the team super cruiser bus!!  After a long postgame lecture from Coach Blankenship, the team was told to take the 65” TV out of the bus and each player must walk on the TV with their cleats ON!!  Lesson learned!!  DON’T BLAME POOR PLAY ON THE LACK OF A TV ON THE FUUUURRRRRRICKING BUS!

Bixby 42 Ponca City 6

Bixby’s Mason Williams is the best 5’11” QB in the nation and is zipping the ball to WR Brennan Pressly like he was on Madden 2020!!  There is another 5’11” Mason that us breaking numerous passing records at North Texas!!  Hey TU coach Montgomery, do not let this Mason slip away!!

Broken Arrow 54 at Westmore 6

About 10 BA players were seen talking with college recruiters at halftime!!  This did not set real well with Coach Alexander so he canceled his post-game meal at Steak n Ale and took the team to Quick Trip for a 1 dollar hotdog and a small nacho!!  

The team bus was a quiet ride home!

Wagoner 34 at Miami 12

The Bulldogs defeat the Wardogs easily!!  A wardog is a military person who is excellent in dirty, gritty combat assignments!!  The Miami Wardogs are more like the Warpups and just need a but of basic training to toughen them up!

Bishop Kelley 41 Durant 12

The BK offensive line was dominant and the Comets handled the Durant Durangos with little problemos!  The game was delayed in the 3rd quarter when there were shots fired in the apartments east of Prassa field!!  Tulsa S.W.A.T. was called and immediately squelched the situation!!  Tulsa SWAT stayed and watched the rest of the game!!

Tonkawa 38 at Woodland 24

Tonkawa put the Woodland Woodchucks away early in the 4th quarter!!

FOS NFL:

Browns 27  Seahawks 21

Seahawks QB Russell Wilson was running like his hair was on fire!!  Browns DE Myles Garrett was the main culprit to make Wilson's day yucky!!

Chiefs 45 Texans 31

Chiefs QB MVP Mahomes throws for 450 yards (56 yards no-look passes) and 5 touchdowns (1 touchdown no-look)!!  One of his no-look passes hit a back-judge in the head he was put on referee concussion protocol!!

Cardinals 31 Falcons 21

Quarterback Kylar Murray’s favorite receiver, Larry Fitzgerald caught 7 passes for 135 yards and a touchdown!!  

Broncos 34 Titans 17

Bronco QB Flacco decided he probably needs to win a game and the Titans happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time!!

Cowboys 31 at Jets 16

The Cowboys owner Jerry Jones was caught by TMZ cameras doing shots of Buttery Nipples with Jet legend Broadway Joe Namath!!  They were at a new private bar called Ewewz Shakakan!!  The two legends of their own minds were also filmed drinking tequila shots from young ladies belly buttons!!  Just another day for Broadway Joe and Jerry!!  Cowboys kicked but Sunday!!

Words of wisdom from the unwise one!  If you hunt in Oklahoma make sure there is coffee and Jack Daniels in the tree stand!!

Have a great sports week!!

FOS / B in T

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B, in T