FOS/B in T
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FOS Notes ’bout Nuthin!!
It Is Time for the Most Famous B in T/FOS Top 10!!
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FOS Top 10 Things Seen at Utica Square’s Lights On with the Always Accurate Over/Under!!🎄🎄🎄🎄
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- Boot with da fur- 1350 pairs. If the temp is lower than 32 degrees take the over, if higher than 32 take the under!
- The number of Nutcracker Statues at Utica Square that has been hiked on by dogs brought to Lights On!! 4. Take the over, Starbucks is offering peppermint doggy drinks!
- The number of ugly ass large poodles that will be paraded around the Square, who’s owner thinks they are radiant and everyone else thinks they need to go home and trim their hedges!! 12. Take the under, a couple of Pitbulls were let loose at Lights On causing dog hysteria with some Albino giant poodles reported missing!! True story!!
- Number of Russian fur hats worn. 12: take the over! Those hats are making a comeback, I have one!
- Number of high school kids trying to sing ’Deck the Halls with bowels of holly’ stoned, at Lights On! 250. Take the over, edible Christmas fudge on sale all over town!
- Number of North Face coats worn at Lights On Utica Square!! 10,500-- Take the under! Temps were in the 70s!
- Number of Kansas University Basketball shirts seen at Lights On Utica Square now that Tulsa’s own star Bryce Thompson has signed with the Jayhawks!! 250-- Take the over!! The shirts are just hitting stores in Tulsa for Christmas!!
- Number of cars with lighted wreaths on their front grills in Lights On parking lot! 231— Take the under!! 62 at least are expected to be jacked or stolen!!
- Number of Hummers driven to Lights On in 1999 -- Vegas Over/Under 645 -- Over was taken and was corectomundo! Number of Hummers driven to Lights On, 20 years later in 2019-- 5 --Take the under!! At least one will be repossessed!!
- The number of Vape Devices at Utica Square Lights On -- 1,150 -- Take the over! A number of vapes are brought for transactions of medical marijuana! The number of Vape Devices that have illegal substances in them: 1,147 -- take the over! Come on guys it's Utica Square!!
🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄Man Cave Texting:
OMG - Oh my groin!
WTF - Where’s the fries?
LOL - Laugh on loser!
BFF - Best farters forever!
BYOCD - Bring your own cheese dip!
LMABH - Left my ass and balls home!
TTYL - Talk to your lawyer!
SSDD - Same shat different decade!
Christmas is Almost Here and I Have Written a Song for All to Enjoy!!
🎄🎶🎶Christmas is coming, Lalala Lalala, chestnuts are roasting, watching irrelevant bowl games toasted, sleigh bells a-ringing, footballs are slinging, bring on the figgy pudding, bring on the fricking turkey and stick it right here!!
THIS SONG SHOULD BE SANG TO A BEAT OF THE BOOGIE BAND -- EARTH WIND AND FIRE!!
B in T words of wisdom for the holiday season!!
- If you purchase a real tree make sure the cats, dogs, and monkeys do not pee on it or climb the branches!
- With certain types of edibles now legal make sure the little tots, elderly or animals stay away from funny-smelling packages🎁!
- Make sure the spiked egg nog is not in the hands of your 3-year-old granddaughter!
- Do not take your newly acquired beautiful 8 foot Wayfair Spruce Christmas Tree to the tree burning ceremony at 61st and riverside at the end of the season!!
- During the Christmas season never break wind in the perfume department at Saks! The perfumes smell ruins the napalm aroma by males who for some reason like to emit flatulence in the lady's wear and perfume areas during the Christmas 🎄season!! B in T has interviewed numerous Dillards, Saks, JC Penney, and Dillards lady's wear experts say the farting by men basically doubles in the Holliday season!!
FOS Top 5 + 1 Assistant College Football Coaches to be Head Coaches 2020:
- Alex Grinch - Defensive Coordinator Oklahoma --UCLA- baby blue shirts could use some Grinch toughening up!
- Brett Venables - Defensive Coordinator Clemson - said he would only take the Dallas Cowboy job!
- Graham Harrell - OC USC
- Steve Sarkesian - OC Alabama
- Chip Long - OC Notre Dame
- Antonio Graham - Assistant Coach Owasso, handsome, smart dresser, and personal friend of Mr and Mrs B in T!! I see TU gig in my Walmart crystal ball!!
B in T, FOS Rumor Central:
Penn State Coach Ron Franklin to USC -- THEN Baylor Coach Matt Ruhle to Penn State BOOM!!
FOS Bubblehead Sports!
Papa Taking Care of his Grandkids and Granddogs!! B in T is in the Christmas Dog 🐕Daycare Business?! (Yeah I am classifying dogs under bobbleheads sports- so suck it up buttercup!)
B in T is often asked to babysit grandkids alone for short periods during the day!! Never alone for a sleepover!! But if the kids need help with the granddogs then sure, give them to Papa B in T!! I had granddog Izzie spend a couple of nights with myself and my two dogs! We watch college football, had some hot chocolate, made paw sugar cookies and all went to sleep in Ma and Pa B in T’s bed! Ma B in T was out of town so, please keep this quiet!!
FOS College Football Picks:
Oklahoma 49 at Oklahoma State 32
Cowboy’s Defense can be stout and win a game, ie; Iowa State or the Defense can be like adding nitroglycerin to a Pyrometric Seminar, ie; Oklahoma!! The Oklahoma running game has been mysteriously missing at times under super offensive guru Riley!! Kennedy Brooks, and Junior College Transfer Ramondre Stevens seem to be forgotten at times, but the duo totaled 251 yards against OSU!! QB Heisman Hurts ran for a paltry 88 yards on 7 carries!!
Tulsa 42 at East Carolina 35
No bowl game for the ’Cane but if, what-ifs and butts were candy and nuts, the ’Cane would be heading to a nice Bowl and B in T would start getting his bags and sunscreen 50 block packed!! There are a number of hot spots to visit in Greenville, East Carolina!! After a win at East Carolina, TU fans can visit Joes Crab Shack, Long John Silvers or the new Jack in the Box at fifth and main street close to the brand new Senior Citizen Petting Zoo!!
Missouri 35 at Arkansas 28
Mizzou Football Coach Barry Odom, who was an All-Stater at Ada High in Oklahoma, goes bowling with a destination unknown as of game time! Ex Arkansas coach Morris has numerous plans for the offseason and none involves Hog football!! Investing his buyout will be fun!!
Washington St 36 at Washington 35
Washington State Coach Leach is rumored to be the next head coach for numerous teams from Tulsa of the AAC to Cleveland of the NFL!! Rumor has it that Leach was seen at a bed and breakfast in Cleveland to meet with Brown ownership muckety mucks! This rumor was squelched by the fact that there are no, zero, nada bed and breakfasts in Cleveland!! Google it, dare ya! B in T has sources that state Leach actually stayed at a bed and breakfast in Fayetteville, Arkansas!! Hmmmmm?
LSU 48 Texas A&M 28
The teams looked even when they took the field!! Great athletes on both sides, great coaches on both sides, big buck donors on both sides, but the referees were on the side of the SEC love child, LSU coach Ed Orgeron!!
Alabama 38 at Auburn 27
FOS almost picked Auburn as the UPSET SPECIAL but my pain meds kicked in and I regained consciousness!! Alabama’s backup QB, whose name escapes me, lit up the Auburn Tiger D in the second half for 238 yards and 3 touchdowns!!
Baylor 38 at Kansas 30
Baylor seems to be overlooking their final games until the Big 12 Dr. Pepper title game!! The Bears recover to defeats Coach Nutty Les Miles to win by 8!!
**********UPSET SPECIAL************
Minnesota 28 Wisconsin 23
The Golden Gopher of Minnesota and the Badger of Wisconsin are distant cousins of each other!! The two mascots hugged each other before the game and reminisced about digging holes and making dams back in the old days!! Minnesota’s defensive scheme held Wisconsin’s stud running back Taylor to under 100 yards for the first time in 18 games!!
Memphis 38 Cinncinati 35
The AAC is becoming a stronger conference, with more balance than the PAC! This in itself should be enough go forward in 2022 with the power 6 super conferences! Both Memphis and Cinncinati have more speed than the Miami Dolphins!!
Texas 41 at Texas Tech 23
Texas defense chases Tech dreadlocks QB Jet-Dry all over Lubbock!! Jet throws three picks in the second half as Texas sets it's travel plans for Memphis and the Jimmy Egg Cracked Liberty Bell Bowl!! Wikipedia it!!
Kansas State 36 Iowa State 31
Manhattan, Kansas goes crazy as K State has a chance to make the Dr. Pepper Big 12 Championship if Baylor loses by 84 points in a tiebreaker scenario!! Iowa State team manager Kyle Highland, B in T personal friend, set a record by mounting 72 helmets on a truck in 27 minutes and 23 seconds!! This is a Big 12 helmet mounting record!!
Ohio State 27 at Michigan 21
This is possibly the game of the century in Big 10 circles!! Ohio State QB Justin Fields ran for 1 touchdown and threw for 2 touchdowns while doing Heisman poses spinning on his head!! This has never been done in Heisman Trophy posing lore!! Michigan coach Khaki did a great impersonation of Houston coach Holgvereson yelling vehemently at the referees and forgetting to coach for 3 quarters!!
Notre Dame 38 at Stanford 24
An overrated Notre Dame team beats a bad Stanford team!! The game will be late in the Central and Eastern time zone and will put millions of Americans nighty night!! Sleep tight America!!
An overrated Notre Dame team beats a bad Stanford team!! The game will be late in the Central and Eastern time zone and will put millions of Americans nighty night!! Sleep tight America!!
FOS High School Semi and Quarter Finals Picks:
6A Finals next week!!
5A Semis
Bishop McGuinness 31 Bishop Kelley 23
The battle of the Oklahoma Catholic schools!
The battle of the private schools!
The battle of the Lexus and Mercedes-Benz SUVs!!
The battle of the haves and have-mores!
Battle of the Gucci purses !
Battle of the fur coats!
Battle of the hover air skateboards!
Battle of the the Labradoodles!
And battle of two really good high school football teams! OKC Catholics simply have more speed!!
Carl Albert 42 Piedmont 27
My Uncle Howard was honored this week for being the most influential principals at Carl Albert in 50 years!! He thanked numerous teachers and mentors in his life!! He ended the speech in the Carl Albert gym by telling the football team that if they lose to Piedmont they will walk home!! Deadly silence then a chuckle from Uncle Howard!!
4A Semis
Wagoner 41 Poteau 20.
Game at Jenks
Game at Jenks
Wagoner fans were our numbered by Poteau fans due to a number of Wagoner men participating in the deer hunting extravaganza which meant that they were covered with camo gear and deer piss for the entire weekend!! The men were not missed according to the Wagoner Bulldog families!! In fact a number of the deer hunting fathers were told not to return home until after deer season!!
3A Semis
Heritage Hall 34 Lincoln Christian 32
Game at Cushing
Heritage Hall and Lincoln Christian are both private school powerhouses from both OKC and Tulsa!! B in T thought this would be a good time to find out which private school is hipper!! Heritage Hall has Nichols Hills and Lincoln Christian has The Hard Rock Casino and Hotel so Lincoln Christian is much hippier!!
FOS NFL Picks:
Thanksgiving 🍗
Cowboys 31 Bills 24
The Cowboys are munching for a Turkey win against the Bills!! Cowboy running back Ezekiel Elliott was fined $50,000 for jumping into an inflatable Grinch Stole Christmas 2 prop after scoring a touchdown in the third quarter!! Disney Productions paid the $50,000 fine and has offered to send EZ royalties from the movie over for the next 100 years!! Google it!!
Chiefs 33 Raiders 22
The Chiefs and stud QB Mahomes are not intimidated by the bad boy Raiders!! A number of Chief fans wore Raider skull and crossbones above their red Chief logos to show that they are not a bit afraid of Raider shenanigans!! When a couple of Raider fans, slash Hells Angels, and 48 Hours Most Wanted dudes sat in the Chiefs section the entire section moved to the adjoining section immediately!!
Steelers 26 Browns 17
Rudolf with your nose so red won't you guide Clevelands lineman helmets with your head tonight! Then how the linemen loved him!
Rudolf with your nose so red won't you guide Clevelands lineman helmets with your head tonight! Then how the linemen loved him!
Brown’s QB Eddie Munster Mayfield has gone from the beloved, here is the key to the City dude to the hated, disappointment, here is the key to the outhouse dude!! The new QB golden boy from an Oklahoma college is Pittsburgs Mason Rudolph from Oklahoma State!! Mason is a handsome, square-jawed, and polite young man whose only endorsement is Teeth Whitener by Crest!! He has never been arrested and has never grabbed his crotch for millions to see!! Rudolph with his nose so clean completed 20-27 passes for 2 touchdowns in defeating the Browns!!
Broncos 31 Chargers 28
The Broncos John Elway are attempting to get Peyton Manning to break away from Nationwide TV Commercials and make a comeback!! He makes more as a Nationwide sponsor so he declined the offer!!
Words of wisdom from the unwise one!! Your wife is always right even when she knows she is wrong! Ask President Trump!!
Have a great sports week!
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B, in T
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