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FOS Notes ’bout Nuthin!
FOS is Hearing Of Sightings of Turkey Man in Northeast Oklahoma!!
Possibly a Turkey Man!?? No shat!! This so-called large round bird with a warbler looking neck and an orange turkey like hair has been spotted but not confirmed in Tulsa!! TMZ is now reporting that President Trump was Campaigning in Oklahoma on a bad hair day! Fake News in Fake Sports!
I now have the great honor to introduce a new associate to FOS/B in T-- The Swamy Prognosticator!!!! He pops down from the skies every week and predicts the future as well as new innovation to the sports world!! Let's give a great round of applause to The Swamy Prognosticator!!................Ok that's enough cheering and applause!!
Double Elimination?
The playoffs have already started, for every college team.
Imagine a double elimination tournament where everyone is in the 'loser bracket'. Except the following 3 teams in the upper "winner" bracket.
1. LSU
2. Ohio State
3. Clemson
It's not that the upper bracket guarantees a coveted spot in this season's 4-team playoff, but You can bet that those in the lower "loser" bracket cannot sustain another lose and make the playoffs.
The 3 teams in the upper bracket represent the SEC, ACC, & Big Ten. they will not face each other unless and until they are in the playoffs.
So let's look at the teams still holding a plausible path to a spot in the NCAA playoffs.
4. Georgia 9-1:
Must make the SEC Championship (likely) and defeat (likely) LSU in the SEC Championship, or look incredible in that matchup.
5. Alabama 9-1:
Must have a collapse of LSU and somehow get into the SEC Championship, and win it.
6. Oregon 9-1:
Must win out and look so dominant that they win the respect of the selection factors.
7. Oklahoma 9-1:
Must win out, including a likely rematch with Baylor, in the Big 12 championship, and look so dominant that they win the respect of the selection factors.
8. Utah 9-1:
Must win out, including a likely showdown with Oregon, in the PAC-12 championship, and look so dominant that they win the respect of the selection factors.
9. Penn State 9-1:
Must defeat Ohio State this Saturday, to deny Ohio State a Big Ten Championship game, then defeat Minnesota in a rematch, and look so dominant that they win the respect of the selection factors.
10. Florida 9-2:
Face it, they would need need to win out, and need Georgia to lose the next 2 games, and then defeat LSU in the SEC Championship game, and look so dominant that they win the respect of the selection factors.
Who to Replace Willie Taggert at Florida State?
- Mark Stoops - Kentucky HC, why not?
- Bob Stoops - He might jump XFL for the Seminoles!? Hell yes!
- Mike Stoops - just kidding!
- All three in a package family deal?!
Mike Leach to be Arkansas coach in 2020? Intriguing?!
New Coach at Southern Cal in 2020?
Penn State’s Ron Franklin? The rumor mill is buzzing! Why? Why not?
Will Chad Morris be contacted by TU to be O Coordinator after the Razorbacks canned him? B in T says the ’Cane has his number!
A Giant Cat in the B in T Household!!
Our cat Charlie spent the summer outside so my son in law could breathe!! So when they went to their own home, a fit Charlie came back in the house. Over the last four months, Charlie has learned how to get in the dog's food plus his own food!! She is now a giant cat and outweighs my smallest dog by 15 pounds!! A 30-pound cat is not healthy! Thank goodness she is declawed!! I have put the water bowl on top of the dog food when I leave the house and have cut Charlie’s food by 25 %!! Charlie will be receiving a cat treadmill for Christmas!
B in T Gains Twenty-five Pounds over Turkey Day!!
With the B in T’s sons now having significant others, Mrs. B in T aka Grandma aka Mimi aka Hotty aka Thanksgiving 🦃Dinner super chef, insists on cooking a huge feast and I do mean feast!! I look for the biggest, giant belt and use an ice pick to make extra fat boy holes so it will fit!! Mashed Tators, Turkey Dressing, Pecan, and Pumpkin Pie with low-fat Whipping Cream, Low Fat Egg Nog with Ron Bacardi Rum and a huge Honey Suckle Ham is on the agenda for Thanksgiving Dinner!!
FOS Bobblehead Sports:
Breast Pumps Are Not for Everyone!!
B in T attended his son and daughter-in-law’s couples baby shower and was disappointed that there was not a descriptive cake of what sex the newborn was!! A pee-pee cake if a boy or a cha-cha cake if a girl always livens the party!! So I decided to demonstrate the proper way to wear and mount a breast pump apparatus!! This ended as small cousins and grandkids started to ask many questions regarding the breast pump!! The demonstration was very informative for B in T!
FOS College Football Picks!
Oklahoma 52 TCU 28
The Sooners are still winning when they are suppose to and the teams that need to lose are performing properly bad!! If the Georgia, Florida, Utah, Oregon, and Penn State dominos all fall in the proper OU sequence, then making the final 4 will probably happen!! If the chips don't fall just right for the crimson and white, like the sooner schooner, chances of the final 4 are very tipsy!! The Horny Frogs have a lot of speed but not Oklahoma speed!! The Sooners rock TCU!
Oklahoma State 38 at West Virginia 31
The real West Virginia Mountaineer people were out in droves as they were upset at some referee calls that went in the Cowboys favor!! Such vile threats from the local folks as ’I am gonna gut you boy’, ’Squeal like a pig’ and ’better head for da hills and hide cause those hills have eyes👀’ were yelled toward the SEC referees as they headed to their lockers!! The referees were given security from the West Virginia athletic department, 88 yr old retired Captain Barn E. Fife from Bugtussel, West Va!!
Tulsa 38 Houston 34
Coach Holgersen will probably pull all his hair out, spit nails and go Linda Bair-Exorcist II if the Cougars lose to the snake-bitten Golden Hurricane! The Hurricane came through with a victory this time as Zac Smith hit a wide open Running Back Shamari Brooks for a 59-yard TD pass as time expired!! Shamari went straight out the South end zone, out gate 3, down 11th Street east one block, south 2 blocks to The Buccaneer Bar and bought shots for the entire stadium!!! True story!! Celebration 🎈like no other in TU history!!
Coach Orgeron nicely gave Arkansas fired coach Morris’ remaining staff a special note after the post-game handshake!! The note simply offered the staff a job as a special analyst for LSU if things do not work out with the Razorback lynch mob outside their offices!! Heisman shoo-in LSU QB Joe Burrow connected on 25 of 30 for 353 yards and 5 touchdowns!!
Ohio State 41 Penn State 31
Super game for Ohio State QB Justin Fields as he dissected the Penn State Nittany Lions for a possible guaranteed slot in the College Football final four!! On an entirely different subject, FOS was perplexed to discover what exactly is a Nittany Lion!?? The Nittany Lion was created by the Penn State Dean of Athletics in 1901 while drinking some Scotch before a game!! Penn State had no nickname and their opponent Princeton did!! Agitated by the Dean of Athletics came up with the name Nittany Lion which was a giant muscular mountain lion that lived on Mount Nittany and protected the Penn State campus!! Where was he when Joe Pa and his assistant coaches were roaming the athletic halls of Penn State?
Baylor 42 Texas 30
The Baylor Bears soundly defeat
the Longhorns and drop them to a ranking of 10th in the state of Texas!! Texas dropped 2 slots, now behind North Texas and the 5A high school powerhouse Carrol Southlake Dragons!! No shat!!
Clemson 49 Wake Forest 25
Dabo is starting to smell the football final four and another Dr. Pepper National Championship Trophy!! But his handsome future Brut by Fabrage’ model QB needs to get on the same page to smell what Coach Dabo is smelling!! Wake Forest did not know what hot them this weekend! Dilly Dilly!!
Georgia 41 Texas A&M 21
The Georgia defense made Aggie QB Mond run for his life all day!! Aggie Coach Jimbo Catfisher attempted to have the second and third-string QBs to enter the game in the early 4th quarter but they refused!! Both back-ups wanted to preserve their redshirt status and did not want their helmet ripped off with their head in it!! Very reasonable. Coach Jimbo gave them the phone number for the transfer portal after the game!! They already had it, of course!!
Texas Tech 38 Kansas State 36
The Ghost of skinny jeans Coach Kingsbury appeared as Tech Quarterback Jet Duffy threw for 503 yards and 4 touchdowns!! Tech and K State are both heading to very average bowl games versus WAC and MAC opponents!!
Michigan 28 at Indiana 26
The Wolverines were excited about the win and the fact that 12 New Year's Bowl game scouts are the game!! The big donors and Athletic Department muckety mucks offer coach Khaki pants a 10 year 250 million dollar contract to win 9 games a year and have no chance at a national championship!!
Memphis 42 at South Florida 28
Memphis beats a team coached by ex Longhorn head coach Strong! This means nothing! Happy Thanksgiving 🦃!!
Iowa State 37 Kansas 28
Kansas is similar to B in T’s University of Tulsa that seems to play good enough to get beat every day!! Coach Miles will take the Jayhawks to a couple of bowls and then be Michigan State’s next coach!! The Clones will play USC in the Alamo Bowl!! No shat bro!
FOS 2nd Round High School Picks!
Owasso 42 Broken Arrow 34
Owasso and there D1 running back prospect Isiah Jacobs tiptoed through the BA defense like the late great Tiny Tim tiptoed through the tulips!! Jacobs has narrowed down his college picks to 5 power 5 schools including Oklahoma State!! OSU seems to be the front runner after Jacobs was seen with Eskimo Joe's cheese fries all over his new Lexus!! Hmmmmm?
Jenks 44 Moore 26
Looks like Jenks survived the rough first month to be back in the 6A1 finals!! Moore is pretty much a nonfactor to the Tulsa teams!! Not sure where it is or the mascot name!! So I would like to apologize to my fans in Moore, wherever that may be! Jenks linemen are spat out like robot mean Santas on Santa Clause 2!! Mashed potatoes are put into infant bottles for male babies in Jenks that weighs more than 8 lbs at birth!! Very true, just ask any Jenks mom in Jenks youth football!!
Bixby 42 Del City 20
The Spartans play by play announcers became incensed at the Del City announcers because on heating pressbox issues and pizza issues!! Evidently, the Coleman deluxe superheaters were put into the Del City press box and the 19.99 Walgreens heaters were placed into the Bixby press box!! Also, the pizzas sent to the press box for Del City were Extreme Supreme pizzas from Savistonos while the Bixby press box pizzas were cold cheese pizzas from Pizza Hut!! The Bixby football team won the game but their announcers were mistreated and abused mentally by their hosts!!
COMPARISON
Stillwater 55 Choctaw 18
Stillwater 55 Choctaw 18
Stillwater has a stud QB named Gunner Gundy happens to be the son of the mullet machine head coach Mike Gundy of OSU!! Gunner is expected to sign with OSU and will be a pre-agriculture major!! He is expected to be a backup QB and first-string holder for kicks! Gunner a marine gunner machine against the Choctaw Yellowjackets and throws for 422 yards and 5 touchdowns!!
Bishop Kelley 36 Noble 30
The Noble Bears were reading too much if their clippings and forgot that BK had a good team too!! BK wore their flat black jerseys and looked meaner and faster than the Noble team!
Bishop McGuinness 41 Edison 30
The Edison Eagles and their stud running back ran into a private school recruiting juggernaut in Bishop McGinness! If you have a son who runs a 4.45 40 yard dash and needs a financial aid slash scholarship to play football, BM is the place for you!!
Carl Abert 34 at McAlester 22
Carl Albert seems to attract the best athletes in the state and have the gold balls to prove it!! B in Ts Uncle Howard once was the Principal of Carl Albert High School!! Urban Legend has it the he once suspended 3 of the best players for a state playoff game for smoking some hooch!! Later that day Uncle Howard received a Junior Membership to Oaktree Country Club laying in an envelope on his desk!! Uncle Howie did the morally correct thing and discovered that the kids were only smoking cherry cigars and the sanctions to the three super athletes were lifted and they could make the playoffs!! Uncle Howard loves golf!!
Wagoner 41 Bethany 24
If you are from Bethany, lost and using the old fashion 1989 Oklahoma map to find the Wagoner football stadium it would be easier to just follow the paw tracks through the town of Wagoner!! The paw tracks will take you past three liquor stores, four dispensaries, two smoke shops and then straight to the high school stadium!! Wagner kicked the snot out of Bethany but the Bethany fans had a great time!!
Meeker 31 Oklahoma Christion 13
The Meeker Bulldogs have a history of football legends in the small school football of Oklahoma!! The Saints from Edmond were outmatched by the Meeker Bulldogs 250 lb average weight offensive linemen!!
FOS Mom O Meter Meeker .945 Oklahoma Christian .939
The Meeker moms took control of the mom competition by simply performing the blue beaked warbler mating call in front of 5 forestry experts from Oklahoma State University!! The technique used by the Meeker moms was simply using grain alcohol before each warbler mating call!! No shat folks!
FOS Diner of the week:
La Donna’s Grill. 524 S. Dawson Street, Meeker. La Donna is known for her half-pound, onions grilled in, jalapeno hamburger which will cause a stampede next door to Bert’s Soda Parlor and Pharmacy for some Gas X!! Actor Gaylord Sartain once had 2 of these widowmaker burgers and still stopped at Sonic in Kiefer for a foot-long cheese dog!!
FOS NFL Picks!
Texans 31 Colts 16
Texans QB DeShaun Watson defeated the Colts with his pinpoint throwing accuracy and superhuman speed!! Not to mention that the Colts have tanked this season!!
Browns 28 Dolphins 13
The Browns and once superstar in the making Baker Mayfield should have a good win against the happless fish in Miami!! The numerous endorsements for Mayfield are still there but dropping like turkeys a week before Thanksgiving for next year!! Looks like Baker has agreed to be the Spokesperson for Edible Brownies in all Canibus Stores throughout America!! The Browns agreed to change their name to the Brownies for 2020 only!! That will be Mayfield's only endorsement for 2020!
Patriots 35 Cowboys 24
Owners Kraft of the Patriots and Jones of the Cowboys have dinner and drinks with their spouses and significant others at Boston’s famed restaurant Top of the Hub!! At the end of the meal, both owners came up with T-Rex arms when reaching for the huge tab!! So, both parties decided to float the tab and left the posh restaurant!! Tom and Gisele Brady later showed up and paid the tab leaving 500 dollar tip!! Tom also left a tip to pick the Patriots to win the Super Bowl!!
Bills 27 Broncos 20
Bronco and former Arkansas Razorback QB Brandon Allen has kept the team boat afloat!! But the Bills have the defense that can stop many NFL teams!! According to QB guru John Elway the new backup for Allen will be Johnny Manziel!!
Denver president Elway knows his QBs!!
Words of wisdom from the unwise one!!
Never ask for ’time out’ when rushing to a 65’ Walmart big screen TV for $199.99 on Black Friday!!! Just saying!!
Have a great sports week!!
B in T / Faked Out Sports
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