Wednesday, January 2, 2019

Super Bowl Performers Wanted/ College Football Championship Game Pick!

Job Posting:  Super Bowl Performers!

The halftime show for the Super Bowl will be starring Marroon 5!  Other bands to accompany Marroon 5 have been tough to book!!  A total of forty-six performers have rejected the halftime show!!  The stance taken by Colin Kaepernik of kneeling for the National Anthem and the eventual blackballing measure by Commissioner Goodell has the Hollywood circuit very agitated.   Here is a list of some of the remaining performers under consideration:

  1. Ted Nugent- He has the cat scratch fever to be in this halftime show!!
  2. Beach Boys, accompanied with Dolly Pardon as Wonder Woman!  Longshot!!
  3. Oklahoman Ventriloquist/Singer Darcy Lynne has been approached for the halftime show!!  Her production staff is attempting to make President Trump and Commissioner Goodell puppets but evidently, their heads are too big for little Darcy to hold up!!
  4. Steven Tyler of Aerosmith, accompanied by his lips, is under consideration!!  
  5. G.A.P. Band (Greenwood, Archer and Pine streets) out of Tulsa, Ok was high on the list!  They backed out when the Super Bowl security would not allow them to sing ’You Dropped a Bomb on Me Baby’!! 

FOS College Football Championship!!

Alabama 42 Clemson 32
Alabama put OU Coach Riley the B lists of clubs looking for hot coaching prospects!!  The Clemson freshman pretty boy QB Trevor Lawrence could play in broadway’s hit Hamilton!!  His long hair was grabbed twice by Alabama’s all world Defensive tackle Quinnen Williams for losses!!  The tide DT would have had a third hair tackle but Lawrence’s hair was too greasy and unmanageable!!  Tide via Tulsa McClain running back Joshua Jacobs ran over the Clemson Defense for 110 yards!!  Alabama QB Tua passed for 270 yards and 3 touchdowns and was named player of the game!!  While Tua was accepting the MVP trophy after the game back-up QB Jalen Hurd announced he was Graduate transferring to Oklahoma and would be eligible immediately!!  Great news for OU fans everywhere!!

FOS Pro Football Playoff Picks 
Wildcard Games!!

Dallas 27 Seattle 24
The Dallas Cowboys have not won a playoff game since owner Jerry Jones first facelift!!  Dallas’ new secret weapon TE Darwin Jarwin from Oklahoma State, catches another touchdown pass from Dax Prescott!!  Another former OSU Cowboy, Seattle RB Chris Carson, gained 88 yards on 20 carries against the Dallas stout front 7!!  The Cowboys hit the wagon trail on the road with Jerry Johnson coaching the horses and the offensive line in charge of the chuck wagon and vittles!!

Chicago 24 Philadelphia 16
The Chicago Bears pass rush dominated the Eagles!!  Bears DE Khalil Mack was in the Eagle backfield so often that Eagle QB Foles invited him to their halftime locker room!!  True story!!  Not really!!  Seriously true story!!  Chicago Trubinsky went straight from weightlifting to the field with his weight belt still on!!  Some of his Bear teammates giggled at him but stopped when he threatened to snap their collar bone!! 

San Diego 31 Baltimore 24
Chargers QB Phillip Rivers, not to be confused with Dan Fouts, throws for a late touchdown pass and takes a road win at Baltimore!!  The crowd was heard yell we want Flacco!!  I am afraid Flacco will be the starting QB for the Denver Broncos or the Calgary Stampeders next year!!

Houston 31 Indianapolis 21
Colts Quarterback Jaws Luck has had more protection by his O-line than Prez Trump Secret Service gives him!!  The Texans DL with Clowney and Watt were in Luck’s hip pocket all night!!  During a third-quarter heavy rush, JJ flexed his biceps and Luck passed out because of FEAR!!

I would like to leave you with these famous words that my Grandma Audoo used to tell me:
”Bryan get your hands away from my Folgers snuff spit can or I will spank your butt with my wooden spoon!”

Have a great week!!

B in T/ FOS

B, in T

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