Monday, January 7, 2019

FOS New Year Resolutions/College Ball Picks


Faked Out Sports 2019 version!

2019 New Years Resolutions!!

  1. In 2019 I will write all my sports crap while sober!!
  2. In 2019 I will lose weight!!
  3. In 2019 I will try to get published again!!  Thank you to Sooner Politics!!
  4. In 2019 I will attend a Bowl Game that Tulsa University is playing in!!  
  5. In 2019 I will not let tooties in the bed that my wife can hear!!
  6. In 2019 I will not curse around my grandkids this year!!  The rest of the world is free game!!
  7. In 2019 I will not taunt my bocce ball opponents!!  I will not say ”you suck” or ”nice shot ass face” or ”I have won the Center championship two out of three years bitches”!!  I promise never to say those things in 2019!!
  8. In 2019 I will get my Medical Marianna Card!!  My Cocaine Card!! My Qualude Card!!  
  9. In 2019 I will eat all my fiber bars daily!!
  10. In 2019 I will attempt to do exactly what my wife tells me, to the best of my ability, so help me God!!  Dilly Dilly!!

The Aquaman dude and Steven Adams of the OKC Thunder are fuuurrricking look a likes!!


I recently learned that in the Grand Slam of Darts, one finalist accused another of malevolent flatulence (farting)!!!  He stated that the odor was similar to rotten eggs!!  Moral of this true story is fart while throwing a dart!!


FOS College Basketball Picks!

Arkansas 79 LSU 78
Great game in Fayetteville!!  Coach Anderson had ex-Coach Nolan Richardson back to conduct some practices!!  The players hated his practices but loved some of the pictures he showed off!!  His polka dot shirts and jackets back in the early Tulsa and Arkansas days were the hit of the practices!!


Kansas State 73 Iowa State 69
Clone Coach Prohm has more talent than some NBA teams!!  How he gets that talent to cold and boring Des Moines, Iowa is a question that seems to be one step ahead of NCAA investigators!!  The Wildcat talent without forward Dean Wade is enough to bring home the victory to a great home crown in Manhattan!!  If the Cats score more than 70 points everyone with a ticket to the game gets a free Corn on the Cobb at Charlies Chicken!!!

Oklahoma 82 TCU 72
The return of Top Daug in Norman was greeted with some excitement as the Horned Frog mascot and Top Dawg engaged in a slap fight!!  All was fun and games until Top Dawg was hit with a low blow!!  Male cheerleaders from OU and security broke up the mele and the game continued!!


West Virginia 83 OSU 68
West Virginia coach Huggy Bear was given a technical when his stomach bumped the head official and caused him to fall on the court!!  The official’s Addidas Whistle was missing and a substitute whistle was used!!  The whistle is said to be located somewhere on Huggins but no other comments were made by the West Virginia Athletic department!! 

Tulsa 71 SMU 69
This was a hard fought game in the Ewing Center, in Dallas named after famed Oil Tycoon J.R. Ewing!!  Numerous fouls and ejections in the game!!  The fans got into it when a TU Senior Hurricane Happy Timer started pushing a SMU Senior Pony Express patron when one lady spilled popcorn on the lap of her husband and started wiping his groinal area!!  Ewing Center Security quickly ended the tussle and bought the whole section popcorn!!  Oh, and TU gets a big road win!!

South Dakota State 77 ORU 70
The ORU team is a huge disadvantage in this league when they have to leave the Oklahoma mild weather plains and head to  Antartica and play basketball in the shorts!!  Not fair!!  These two teams are the best of the conference and we will see SD State in Tulsa!!



B, in T

2 comments:

  1. I love all your resolutions except the first. Get that card and it will be all over.

    ReplyDelete