QB Needed Stat!!!

Does Someone Have A Quarterback We Can Borrow?

The Arizona Cardinals are really searching  for a Quarterback and some wins!!  The rookie QB is weak at best!  Ex-Sooner Sam Bradford should be throwing a nerf football to his kids before he blows another knee!  Johnny Manziel is currently in a 7 on 7 League in Florida and has drawn interest at his ability to pick apart defenses consisting of thirty-five-year-olds!!  Cardinal execs are also looking at Michael Vick and ex-Longhorn and Wunderlich genius Vince Young!!  No contracts signed as of today!!

Little Fart Football!

Prior Blue 2nd grade 18 Lincoln Christian 7

At halftime, the Lincoln Christian Pep Band played ’Jesus Is Just Alright With Me, ’ to a standing ovation!!  The Prior Blue Taylor boys made twelve tackles between them!!  Their assistant coach slash father said he would purchase them each a 2027 flying Monarch Mustang if they combined for more than 10 tackles!!!  I'm thinking Dad is hoping they forget!!

Jenks Silver 26 6th grade Bixby Platinum 6th grade 12

Super ringer Jenks Silver team which some kids have played on the team since they were in a toddler league, took care of business and are off to the playoffs!!  

Faked Out Sports NFL Picks!

Chiefs 31  Broncos 21

Chiefs Coach Andy Reid has got the team on the right track and is poised for another coach of the year award!!  Coach Reid has been encouraged by his team and his doctors to try a new diet!!  The first diet to try is always the Oprah Diet!!  After 2 weeks and gaining 7 pounds the Oprah Diet, it was trashed for the Bohemian Squid diet!!  Looking lean and mean Coach!!

Steelers 27  Browns 14

Steeler defense makes underwear QB Mayfield lost and insecure like QBs in the old days of the Steel Curtain!!  Steeler future Hall of Fame QB, Rothlisberger, and Mayfield had dinner after the game at the famous Pierre ala Lepui Restaurant in downtown Pittsburg!!!  Mayfield orders the famous Mako shark kale salad and Rothlisberger ordered the right side of the menu and a diet Mr. Pibb!!!

Words to live by, by B in T

Never, ever, ever, tell your grandkids that the SyFy Channel stories are true!!

Have a great sports weekend!!

B in T, Faked Out Sports!

B, in T

Special Alert

***********Special Alert***************

TMZ is reporting that Tom Brady and his Super Model wife Gisele both have been told by dentist that they each have a cavity!!  Numerous fans wept and candlelight vigils all over New England have basically put the city at a standstill!

Prep Picks!!

Owasso 48 Moore 18

Rams are headed to the playoffs to defend their last year's 6A Gold ball!!  Numerous Owasso alums and athletic supporters would love to have their second Gold Ball!!

Bishop Kelley 41  Coweta 21

Coweta and BK have had a long hard-fought rivalry for years!!  Coweta students are not happy with some signs that the BK kids brought to the game, so the Coweta weightlifting team and wrestling team went over to the BK side and removed the signs!  Problem solved!

Union 48  Southmoore  6

Union fans were disappointed when their Nationally ranked Marching 300 Band’s halftime program was cut short when an owl flew into a tuba and gave the tuba student a concussion!!  He is recovering in the concuss protocol program!!

Cushing 38 Blanchard 20

Cushing team is peaking at the right time!!  This game was played without certain players who were at the FFA Northwest Championship in Fargo, North Dakota!  My Nephews placed 3rd in the Bull Show event out of thirty-five of the best bulls in the Northwest!!  They drove back Thursday night 23 hours to make kick-off!!  Both young men reeked of bull poop!!

Bixby 37  Shawnee 21

Top-ranked Spartans are gearing up for another run at the 6AII Gold Ball!!  Shawnee will make the playoffs with a win on the final week!!  Tonight’s Bixby star was running back Nick Roller who is part of a history tree of a number of Rollers who played football and wrestled in Bixby back in the early 1900s!!

Mom-O-Meter   1= poor  10= Super Mom

Shawnee Moms 9.81.  Bixby Mom's 9.75

Super close contest barely won by the Shawnee moms at the final competition!!  The final competition was Frog Gigging and a frog leg fry!!  Shawnee moms have their own Frog Gigging Club and out speared the Bixby moms by 120 frogs!!  Frog Gigging season is over Halloween at midnight!!

Mom and Pop Diner

Johnson’s Stepping Stone Cafe in Downtown Main Street, Bixby

This Cafe once served the Branson Ballknobbers band and wives before a concert at The Oral Roberts Mabe Center!!

Jenks 48 Edmond Santa Fe 17

The trojan nation is primed for a playoff run and will let no team stop them!!  Jenks is running over teams from the west like poop through a goose!!

Broken Arrow 45  Edmond Memorial  24

Edmond Memorial is one of the better teams from the west and the Tigers and their huge offensive line and 210lb running back, Noah Cortes, dominated the game!!  Miles Slusher made a one-handed interception that the crowd loved!! 

B, in T

Fart Night vs Fortnite

Fart Night or Fort Night?

My youngest son was telling me about a new video game that everyone is playing!!  He said that some of his friends are even addicted to the game!!  I believe the name was ’Fart Night’!!  I am not bragging but I believe I would be great at this and so does Jami!!

FOS World Serious Picks

Faked Out Sports baseball sources state that Astros Altive and Correa just received a special shipment of JUICE!!  Soooo taking the ’Stros in 7 in ALS!!!  The Brewers in 6 over the Dodgers and their half a billion $ payroll!!!  That is for my best friend I have never met, LZ2!!

Faked Out Sports makes big time!!

I have tried to get my sports writing stuff in Sports Illustrated and Sports Illustrated Kids!!!  Buuuut I have just sent the New Sports Illustrated Baby and Toddler edition my latest stuff and we made the short list or bus!!!!

Prior White 2nd grade 24  Muskogee White 12  

Prior young men were overcome by emotion when there starting Center and Noseguard Davis Reed lost his favorite companion for the last 3 years that very morning!!!  Davis’ pet turtle Donatello was ran over in the driveway by the family SUV on the way to the game!!  The team dedicated the rest of the season to the late Donatello the turtle!!

Bixby Platinum 6th grade 18  Union Black 12. 

Bixby Platinum is having an outstanding season!!  The players are happy, coaching staff happy, the parents are happy and they don't even know their kids games are lovingly reported on Faked Out Sports!!!

NFL Picks

Redskins 34 Cowboys 24

Washington takes early Dallas turnovers and turns them into a 2 touchdown lead in first quarter!!  Jerry Jones was so upset that he threatened to fire his whole coaching staff!!  He then realized that he was related to some of them!!

Chiefs  34  Bengals 13

Chiefs QB Mahomes can throw TD passes with either hand!!  Numerous teammates stated that Mahomes during practice could throw twenty-five yards with his right foot!!!  

Buccaneers 28 Browns 24

Buccaneer QB Jameis Winston was outperformed by Undies Mayfield but his team returned 2 fumbles for touchdowns!!  Winston and Mayfield went to dinner at Joe’s Crab Shack after the game!!

Faked Out Sports Phrase of the week:

Never attend a Lynard Skynard concert wearing a pink polo shirt!!

                   Bryan in Tulsa

B in T

Every one of my 24 fans, I hope you have an outstanding sports weekend!!

Best Band Song Ever and New Private School Hang out!!

Faked Out Sports pop quiz!!

Back in the day of 1972 until now this song is played at every football halftime show in America!!!  Name that tune!!

1. Freak Out- by Le Chic
2. Like a Bitch- Godsmack
3. 25 or 6 to 4- Chicago
4. KeKe- Drake
5. Right Stuff- New Kids on the Block
6. Helter Skelter-  Beatles

If you picked the Chicago song, 25 or 6 to 4 you have watched a lot of football and have won a lifetime supply of jack squat!!!

Faked Out Sports makes big time!!

I have tried to get my sports writing stuff in Sports Illustrated and Sports Illustrated Kids!!!  Buuuut I have just sent the New Sports Illustrated Baby and Toddler edition my latest stuff and we made the short list or buss!!!

Gathering Place is New Smokehole

Believe it or not, Pumpkin Man was spotted at the Gathering Place last Saturday smoking some oddly rolled up cigarettes with some local private school kids!!  This seems to be the new hang out for these young puffers!!  Ten new Mall Scooters have been requested to stop the infestation of private school kiddos and Pumpkin Man!!  Mayor Barnam is on it!!

Prep Picks

Booker T Washington 34 Muskogee 28

These 2 teams are ranked 2 and 4 in 6AII and they both attract college scouts like cow patties attract flies!!

Owasso 35 Mustang 17

The Rams took care of Mustang!  Head Coach Bill Blankenship and D Coordinator Antonio Graham keep the Rams two steps ahead of their opponents!!

Bixby 44 Sand Springs 21

Top-ranked Spartan’s soph QB Mason Williams zipped 4 touchdown passes before Sand Springs could score!!  Mason is smallish but has a rocket arm!!  He reminds me of a slight Doc Holiday with a huge shotgun in the Movie ’Tombstone!!

Jenks 55 Norman 13

Jenks is looking like the only team that can compete with the University of Broken Arrow Tigers!!  The Norman team fought mightily but was outclassed by the Trojans!!

Tonkawa 35 Barnsdall 24

The Buccaneers are headed to another showdown with Morrison in the A playoffs!  The Tonkawa players have been on a strict pre-postseason regiment, no parties, bedtime 9:00 pm except game day, no red meat, no girlfriends, no hanging out at Sonic past 7:00 pm, no alcohol or soda pop and finally no ESPN!!!  Small town football coaches mean business!!

Cushing 27 Harrah 13

Cushing and my two nephews had a great week!!  Lukus my Jr. Right Guard, pancakes 2 dudes and was excited to learn that FFA scouts were there!!  Caleb held for two extra points and did not get his jersey dirty at all!!  Playoffs are looking good!!

B, in T

Good Night Vienna Sausages and FOS Bottom Ten College Football

Pistols Firing and Goodnight Vienna!!

David Hunsaker is the play by play voice of the world Oklahoma State Cowboy football team.  His two patent phrases for touchdowns have become a fixture with radio listeners throughout Cowboy land!!!

”Pistols Firing” and “Goodnight Vienna” are usually uttered when a touchdown or something really awesome is about to occur for the Cowboys!!!  Pistols firing is an obvious referral to the late 1800s Cowboy days and dance parties where gunfire is shot for fun and celebration!!  The term Goodnight Vienna is a song written by Ringo Starr regarding a sinking ship!!  The latter should be replaced by Mr. Hunsaker!

Faked Out Sports bottom 10 football teams!

        1.  UCLA- baby blue shirts and gold   

  pants should be given to the band!!!

        2. U Conn-  possible win for the Golden Hurricane

        3.  Illinois-  not Lovie Dovie all the time

        4.  Rutgers-  stick to Lacrosse 

        5.  Rice r Roni

        6.  Nebraska -Frostbitten season

        7.   Blackwell Maroons sorry, 
                Aunts, Uncles 

        8.   UTEP-  Minors are a major disappointment 

        9.   Arkansas- Hogs will move out with a win over Tulsa

        10.  Ottawa Roughriders with Johny Manzelle at QB

College Football Picks

Oklahoma 47 TCU 35

The Sooners go to Horny frog land and bring back a victory!!  Wide receiver C.D. Lamb faked out so many horned frogs defensive backs that you could find the little purple jock straps all over the field!! 

Replacement Defensive Coordinator Ruffin McNeil held TCU to 5 touchdowns while OU scored forty-seven points!!  Sooner Nation James Hale who has never met a rumor he doesn't like has no idea who the permanent 
DC will be!

Arkansas 35 Tulsa 27

Faked Out Sports B in T made road trip to Fayetteville, Arkansas to see his Golden Hurricane put up a mighty fight with the SEC 1-6 Razorbacks!!   B in T spent 2 nights in a cabin with 8 TU dudes, bottles of alcohol, fatties, Doritos, Halloween M&Ms and Oreos!!  We were able to stagger over to Razorback Stadium and watch TU fight a.  
 mighty fight!!  This was my 15th trip to Fayetnam with 1 win in my hip pocket!!!  In 1976 I had super seats to watch Steve Cox kick 3 field goals for a 9 to 6 TU victory!!!  Mr. Cox then transferred to Arkansas next year!!  Then enter my good brother Stu Crum and the rest was history!!

Iowa 31  Maryland 26

I will never pick Maryland because of their pukish uniforms!!  The Hawkeyes slow ball control offense and dink a dink 5-yard passing game is that was needed to win!!

********Upset Alert**********

Mississippi State 24 LSU 16

The Mississippi State Bulldog defense held the over ranked Tigers to one touchdown and 3 field goals!!  LSU head coach Ed Orangeish was upset with the entire offensive staff for being slow, predictable and boring with their play calling!!  Ed forgot he was the team play caller!!

Washington 38 Colorado 28

Colorado Buffaloes were stampeded by some Huskies and could not sneak up on any more PAC teams!!  

Washington State 44 Oregon 38 

Coach Leach was in rare form when holding court with the reporters after the victory!!!!  A reporter asked Leach if his team had put together a perfect game?  Leach said that the stars and the solar system aligned perfectly and that a spaceship will be here in thirty minutes to take the team to Hooters 👀

Next question??

Michigan State 23 Michigan 13

This game was a typical Big Ten football game and Michigan Coach Khaki was upset with his offense, upset with the referees, upset with his Khaki pants drawing up in the crotch and finally very upset that the ABC television crew went to a Bud Light Dilly Dilly commercial and cut short his halftime interview to 8 seconds!!!  

Suck it up, Harbaugh!!

B, in T

Helicopter Poop Alert and Tom and Giselle vs Romeo and Juliet

Helicopter Poop Alert 

Regarding the Gathering Place, I went with my grandkids Gus and Ana, to view this magnificent gift to Tulsa!!  We decided to frolic over to the new state of the art playground!!  While frolicking Gus screamed as he often does at Mimi and Papa’s backyard that he had found doggy poop for Papa to clean up!!!!  Gus will get into an extreme frenzy if not picked up quickly!  I did the only thing I could do (big fib) and explained that at the Gathering Place they had little toy poop picker upper helicopters that will scoop up the poop and spray potpourri Glade fragrance!!!!  He seemed content and we headed to the playground!!  

INFC youth football

Prior Blue 2nd Grade 20  Grove 2nd Grade 0

Prior Blue is heading for the playoffs and the team is feeling it!!  Playoff tickets are going on sale tomorrow starting at 15$ for end zone seats and fifty-yard line seats up to 50$!!  Show you Prior Booster Club card and get 5$ off for each seat!!  You may also buy a tailgate spot for 20$!!  Propane grills only!!  

Bixby Platinum 6th grade 22  TYAA White 6th grade 20

A super game with both teams putting out great effort!!  Both teams are fighting for the playoffs!!  The entire team received a huge boost when Bixby High School Coach Montgomery showed up to root for the 6th-grade team!!  In the 4th quarter Coach Montgomery started calling some offensive plays!!  He chewed out the team’s offensive coordinator because he was too conservative with his play calling!!!  The actual coach of the Bixby 6th grade explained to Montgomery that the offensive coordinator's son is their best player!!  Montgomery apologized quickly!!

Faked Out Sports NFL Picks

Browns 31. Chargers 23 

Browns QB Mayfield and Chargers QB Rivers met at midfield before the game and had a long conversation!!  Evidently, Mayfield was trying to get the phone number for one of the Charger cheerleaders that Rivers had!!

Rivers uses the cheerleaders as babysitters for his 13 children!!

Rams 35 Broncos 17

Rams young Coach has a photographic memory and can remember exact numbers from many years ago!!  Coach has remembered every young ladies phone number he has ever met and cannot delete from his mind!!  Think of all the numbers he has memorized from tavern bars and strip clubs restroom walls over the years!!  I love this dude!!

Chiefs 27 Patriots 22

Chiefs face a challenge with Mr. Brady and his model wife!!  They were voted the best looking couple in the history of mankind by ESPN the Magazine!!  They just beat out Romeo and Juliet!!!  True story!!  Google it!!  Chief's Mahomes throw a 9 yard pass to Kelser for the touchdown!!

Cowboys 24 Jaguars 23

Cowboy owner Jones was so excited after the big win over the Jaguars that he fell and hit his face on the steps by his suite!!Numerous family members gathered up parts of his face and he immediately went in for emergency plastic surgery!!  All went well and Mr. Jones’ looks were back to normal or close or scary or somewhat 

weird!!

Have a super sports week and remember:  Never let your shorts get bunched up over small stuff!!

Faked Out Sports

Bryan Lohmeyer

B, in T

Is Tiger Woods really back?? Upset Alert at Chapman Stadium!

Tiger is Back???

Numerous National Sports geeks claimed that Tiger Woods would never, ever win another PGA golf tournament again!!  Two weeks ago he ran away and hid from the field in winning the Tournament of Champions Championship!!  I am a sports geek, but I was not one of the sports geeks that claimed he would never win again!!  I said countless times that he could beat many golf geeks in the putt-putt windmill game AND would dominate in nighttime par three golf with glow in the dark balls!!

Guess Hair Quiz - Win 3.2 Beer!

Which of the following individual's hair is made out of squirrels tail?

1. Donald Trump 
2. Bryan in Tulsa
3. Larry King
4. Bill Self
5. The creepy dude on Burger King commercials
6. All the above

If you picked 6 you are a winner and Faked Out Sports will overnight you some 3.2 beer from Quick Trip care of Michael T. Thornbrugh, Marketing Executive and Lambda Chi from Tulsa U.!!  Dilly fricking Dilly!!!

Faked Out Sports College Picks:

******Upset Special*********

Tulsa 35 South Florida 31

South Florida is favored by 66 1/2 points according to Vegas experts but B in T is picking a huge upset!!!!!!!!!!!!. (I have inside information, and do not tell anyone!)  The Bulls football team stayed at the Mayo Hotel where the Crew of Ghosthunters were in the process of doing a full-scale paranormal investigation looking to find PUMPKIN MAN!!  The South Florida Friday night team meeting was horrible as numerous tables levitated and while watching game film many players ran from the banquet room as a picture of Pumpkin Man appeared on the screen!!  The team was not the same on game day and swore they would never return to Tulsa!!!  South Florida players went straight from Chapman Stadium to the airport and flew home in their gear!!  

Kansas State 35 Oklahoma State 31

The two longest-tenured coaches in the Big 12 face off for a humdinger of a football game in the little Apple!!  The Wildcats coaching staff has made some bad selections of quarterbacks the last few weeks!!  Finally Coach Knute Rockne, I mean Snyder, found a walk-on deep snapper from a town called Fansville, Iowa!!  He can throw a football 100 yards on a rope and has bigger thighs than a Russian speed ice-skater!!  Another walk-on for Coach Snyder saves the day!!

Iowa State  38  West Virginia 31

This hard-fought battle has turned the Big 12 upside down!!  Iowa State Cyclone mascot, Cy the cardinal, is not a wind funnel but a bird!!  This can be very confusing if you are not from Iowa!!  In Iowa if they say a Cyclone is a bird the just go with it!!  Especially if you are a visiting football team!!

Ole Miss 44. Arkansas 27

The Arkansas football team is looking ahead to its huge game with the Tulsa Golden Hurricane!!  The Hog fans are really looking forward to basketball season!!  Arkansas Coach Morris has offered to purchase plastic hog hats to the first twenty thousand fans at each of the remaining Fayetteville home games!!  Hopefully, 20k will be there!!

Georgia 31 LSU 21

SEC shootout to see who get to polish Alabama's shoes!!  LSU Coach Ed Orange Julius was very upset after a bad call did not go his way!!  His face turned tomato red and veins in his neck looked like a volcano lava flow or The Hulk after a bad jalapeno popper!!  As Fire Truck hoses cooled Ed down, the Tigers have the game away with 2 turnovers in the fourth quarter!!

Oregon 47 Washington 38

Oregon Senior Quarterback Justin Sherbert should be the first Quarterback taken in the NFL 2019 Draft!!  The Ducks have all the computerized glow in the dark equipment and jerseys from Nike to have a tremendous fashion edge among all of college football!!  The Ducks spend more on green Nike shoes and green undergarments than smaller schools spend on their entire athletic uniforms and gear!!

Michigan State 26 Penn State 19

Spartan Coach Mark Dantonio, the Italian Stallion of East Lansing upsets the Nittany Lions!!  Numerous Michigan State young ladies think Coach Dantonio looks very similar to actor George Clooney!!  I did a small poll here in Oklahoma and we are not seeing what the chicks in East Lansing are seeing!!

Wisconsin 21 Michigan 17

Both teams are boring, offenses are boring, uniforms colors are boring, coaches and coaches wives are boring!!

I am not sure why I even included these two teams, their mascots are boring, their coaches hair product is extremely boring and finally, their male cheerleaders will bore you stiff!  

B, in T