Bryan in Tulsa
FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM
B in T Notes:
Fletcher's Corndogs Sold at OU Games!
World famous Fletchers Corndogs made its debut last week at the Sooner home opener!! Almost 56,000 corndogs were sold by the third quarter!! The batter for the corny dogs is said to be made from a corn maze and shrooms!! This is only a rumor!! TJ Perry and Toby Roland, famous radio hosts, were instrumental in bringing the Corny dogs to OU land!! TJ worked out the contracts and Toby worked on the taste quality by testing over 100 Fletchers Corny dogs! True shat!!
Bobblehead Sports:
B in T has experienced watching his grandson play in a local youth golf league this summer!! My daughter Jordan played golf in high school and her team won a state championship!! I, unfortunately, did not see any of her matches due to work! Of course, my main reason is to take time to watch grandson Gus play golf and to tribute my daughter Jordan and her Golf State Championship at Cascia Hall!
Here are other reasons to watch golf in 100-degree heat!!
- Work on tan!
- Check out golf moms!
- Get in good with my younger daughter! I am in her dog house more than Jami’s!!
- Make sure my son in law does not have wondering eyes on the golf course!
- Sneak two Bud Lights in my mini cooler!
- Look at the dads squirm as their son or daughter hit 5 in the water at Southern Hills!!
- I am a little upset that the hot moms did not bring orange slices as they do for soccer!!
Slightly early B in T next Dallas Cowboy Coach Predictions!
- Lincoln Riley - states that this would be the only job he would leave Soonerville for or possibly Notre Dame!
- Bob Stoops - has to promise Jerry he will not hire brother Mike
- Barry Switzer - age in question but he is much more competent than half the NFL coaches and anyone on the current Cowboy staff!
- Billy Ray Cyrus - Jerry has a man-crush on him
- Luke Fickel Cincinnati - don't laugh
- Loren Montgomery Bixby - Coach Montgomery has half the penalties Dallas does in the last 3 years! Jerry and Loren were seen at lunch at Roosevelt's in midtown Tulsa!
The early odds for the next Coach at USC:
- Gus Calzone UCF - 50/50
- James Franklin Penn State - 65/35
- Oregon coach what’s his name - 30/70
- Any ex USC dude whoever had anything to do with USC football - 1/99
New AAC candidates
CBS Sports picks plus B in T long shot picks!
- Air Force: Service academy partner with Navy, already an AAC member.
- Boise State: Established football excellence. Possible travel partner for other Western candidates. Might have to decide between the AAC now or Big 12 down the line.
- Colorado State: One of the best new stadiums in the country. The football program is struggling, and CSU doesn't exactly deliver the Denver market.
- San Diego State: New stadium, beautiful city, West Coast talent. But if the AAC stays (somewhat) intact, why would SDSU leave the best remaining Group of Five league? Its only other option would be a Big 12 that wants to expand beyond 14. Travel would be an issue.
- UAB: The city of Birmingham, coach Bill Clark and athletic director Mark Ingram deserve tremendous credit for making the program attractive since it was shut down in 2014.
- FAU: A Sunshine State replacement for UCF. Lane Kiffin showed the Owls' potential winning two conference titles in three years.
- UTSA: A rising program in a large market that would theoretically replace Houston in the state of Texas.
AAC Darkhorse- Appalachian State
B in T AAC Long shots:
- Booker T Washington - great marching band and drill team
- Union Redhawks - super new facilities
- Owasso Rams - Coach Blankenship has Tulsa coaching experience
- Jenks Trojans - some players are already working on NIL contracts with the AAC
- Bixby Spartans - they seem to be waiting for a Power 5 conference
College Always Correct Picks:
Oklahoma 48 West Virginia 21
The Sooners Athletic department feels some heat from the Mountaineer folks. The Sooner Schooner ran over the legs of the Mountaineer mascot Daniel Boone! Both leg fibulas were broken with bones sticking out of flesh, not to be graphic!! Numerous West Virginia hillbilly lawyers are in the process of representing Mr. Boone!! Rattler seems to be sharper each week and his 78% completion percentage is 2nd nationally!!
Tulsa 38 Arkansas St 31
Great game as several of the 10,000 plus fans stayed for the entire game!! Arby’s has been a huge sponsor of the Golden Hurricane for centuries and recently created a new giveaway for 2021!! In the 80s and 90s there were the famous Arby’s clickers of which I have 3 in my man cave!! During the Arkansas State game there will be Arby’s Fun Bun Run and two TU employees dress up as Arbys buns and race!! The bun stadium section that wins gets a free Double Roast Beef sandwich 🥪 and 2 potato cakes!! I shat u not!! Tulsa QB Davis Brin has improved drastically from game one of this season!! Brin throws for 3 touchdowns and 335 yards passing!!
Arkansas 24 Texas A&M 21
Broken Arrow’s own Myles Slusher had an interception pick for the Hogs to ice the game with 1 minute left! Broken Arrow could use Myles right now!! The A&M faithful were distraught as they left the stadium pelted by plastic hog hats!!
Iowa State 27 at Baylor 20
Nice win for Clone coach Matt Campbell as he flies back to Waco from a Pasadena (USC) job interview!! My sources are telling me that a 200 million dollars 12-year contract is being discussed!! My sources are normally correct when sober!!
Wisconsin 24 Notre Dame 13
This game is played at Soldier Field in Chicago with ESPN Gameday, Fox Sports Gameday, and B in T Game Pregame making an appearance!!! Coach Dikta will be the GUEST PICKER!!
The Badgers smash-mouthed the Irish and numerous Notre Dame fans were upset that Wisconsin did not allow their 42 piece jazz band at the game!! They offered them a small stage to play outside of the Soldier stadium but this only angered the Irish!!
Oklahoma State 31 Kansas State 24
Several Cowboy Posse Club members were irate that Coach Gundy did not allow their pregame walk on the field for the first time in years! In spite, younger Posse Club members went on the field during the game and were sent to the stadium jail!! The first of three Presley brothers to play for OSU caught 6 passes for 172 yards and 3 touchdowns!! His YAC numbers lead the nation (yards after catch - YAC)!
Texas 38 Texas Tech 23
The Longhorns have taken the advice of B in T and started Casey Thompson from New Castle, Oklahoma at QB!! Casey Is the son of former OU QB Charles Thompson! He will be licking his chops to beat OU in the Red River Rivalry unless Sarkesian benches him!!
High School Always Correct Picks:
Collinsville 45 Hale 24
In the 70s the Hale Ranger JV would beat Collinsville by 50 and then bring the Whitney Junior High boys in to finish the second half!! True shat, Google it!!
Bixby 56 at Bartlesville 14
Bartlesville homecoming and I must say why in the name of the Loren Montgomery statue outside the gates of Spartan Stadium, would any team schedule their homecoming against Bixby???!!!
Mom O Meter Bartlesville Moms .989 Bixby Moms.980 This was possibly the most exciting, down to the wire competition in years! The competition came to the final event of the day - Calf fries frying!! The Bixby moms used the Walmart Market calf fry kit while the Bartlesville moms used their secret recipe with cayenne pepper and shrooms!! Amazing balls frying and the win goes to the Bruin Moms!!
B in T Diner of the Week:
Murphy's Original Steakhouse - 1625 SW Phillips Blvd., Claremore - the brown gravy at Murphy’s was rated number 1 in the nation according to a panel of gravy experts in 2019!! Popstar Dua lipa and boyfriend Megadeath lead singer, Dango stopped there for Murphy’s calf fries during the pandemic!! Google it!
Broken Arrow 46 at Westmore 12
Broken Arrow is due a blowout game and the crowd was chanting bring back David A., please!! Myles Slusher did not attend this game. He stayed home and watched NCIS with his parents before carrying the Razorbacks to another victory!!
Jenks 52 Enid 18
Jenks's new freshman QB Heilig passed for 340 yards and evidently threw a pass 80 yards in the air ala Michael Vick!! San Jose State and recently TU have offered this young man a scholarship!!
****************ALERT****************
PUMPKIN MAN SPOTTED IN DOWNTOWN JENKS!!!!
Pumpkin Man was caught on camera putting cannabis candy in the downtown Jenks Christmas decorations which will be ceremoniously turned on November 2nd this year!!
Owasso 37 at Union 20
The new Owasso double-decker travel bus which was recently purchased by Owasso County Bond 6969 came in handy for the long trip from Owasso to Union!! After stopping at the halfway point at Mohawk Park for a sack lunch the boys continued to 67th and Memorial and kicked some butt!!
Cushing 38 Tuttle 34
Tuttle is known as the house that Heisman Trophy QB Jason White built!! Nephew Caleb had another super game! The young man had 8 tackles at the half but had to sit on the bench in the third quarter for talking to cheerleaders at halftime!! Heck I knew not to do that Caleb, actually I could not get them to talk to me at all!!!! Junior QB Berkowitz, again no relation to the son of Sam dude, we think, had 399 yards passing and 4 touchdowns!!
McAlester 28 at Bishop Kelley 17
BK could be 0-6!! We need some hail Mary’s coach Tapana!!
Wagoner 42 Cleveland 21
Wagoner coach Cundiff once was offered the Cleveland job and turned it down saying ‘I am waiting for the Cleveland Browns offer’!!!
Cascia Hall 38 Heavener 6
The Heavener moms arrived in Tulsa early to head to Utica Square and Queenies for lunch!! The ladies were upset about the slow service (a few headed to Wendy’s) and a Cascia mom covered the tab!! True story!!
Tonkawa 35 Morrison 31
Tonkawa and Morrison have had class A
championships a few times and could be in the mix this year!!
Blackwell 27 Luther 16
The name Luther is not only a high school football team nicknamed the Lions but also a cousin!! Luther Grits is on my great aunt Ethel's side of the family and was notorious for being a partier🍺 in the 60s!! The Maroons from Blackwell and Luther both agreed to end the game by 9:30 pm for the moms to get their rest for the Kay County Fair Championship bake-off!! True shat!! Let's hear it for the Kay County moms!!
Pro Always Correct Picks:
Texans 35 Panthers 23
The Texans and QB Tyrod Taylor are much better than the Houston sportswriters predicted!! Many media mouths had the Texans picked 27th out of 30!! Tyrod can still ball!
Browns 45 Bears 17
These two teams are going in opposite directions! The Bears might be stealing the OKC Thunder tanking model!! Lose and get a top-three pick in 2022!!
Chiefs 36 Chargers 24
Tight end Kelce wrastled an Alaskan brown bear at halftime and then caught two touchdowns in the second half!! WWE sponsored the wrestling event!
Cardinals 38 at Jaguars 21
Zaven Collins and his big brother mentor J.J. Watt went out for a very special treat after the game!! Zaven had 10 tackles and a sack, so JJ took him to Braums for a quadruple stacked Banana split!!
Cowboys 34 Eagles 28
Eagles QB Jalen Hurts tries to imitate his idle Dak Prescott but comes up short as Dak throws for 555 yards!!
Have a great sports week!
Bryan in Tulsa
FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM
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