Wednesday, October 28, 2020

Texas Coach Next Midland, Texas Football Coach


October 31


HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!  REMEMBER, THE FREAKS DO COME


OUT AT NIGHT...........AND IN THE MORNING!   B IN T


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Faked Out Sports / B in T

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FOS Notes:


The best holiday in my opinion is HALLOWEEN!!  On Halloween, kids find a pumpkin patch and wait for the Great Pumpkin to arise from the most sincere pumpkin and hand out candy!!!  OMG, WAIT THAT IS THE WRONG STORY! Pumpkin Man will appear at some high school game and spread love, cheer and edibles to those who truly believe in the PUMPKIN MAN!!

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  • B in T prediction: Tulsa’s Zaven Collins has almost as many tackles in 2020 than breakups with TU girls!!  Around TU’s great campus students are saying they have seen Zaven walk on water??  Seriously, B in T thinks Zaven will be a doctor soon and cure a disease!  Double seriously, Mr. Collins is the best linebacker in America!
  • Here are a few questions at the Lincoln Riley Show that were not read on the air:  1)  Are you giving the team orange slices??  2)  Coach are you going to the Houston Texans and can we help you get there??  3)  Coach Riley have you or any of the players seen the mysterious Pumpkin Man??  4)  Is the defensive coordinator still with the team?  5)  Can we hire Clemson’s Venables??  His salary would look like this:  1 Million per year from OU and 1 million per year from you coach Riley!
  • Texas Coach Tom Herman has a 20 million dollars buy out and the Longhorn Boosters
    including Mathew MaCrotchany (ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT) have a buy out cashiers check for 20 million dollars in Mathew’s Wrangler jeans back pocket!!
  • I Have just watched a FOX 23 interview with a mom that will hand out Vegan candy!!  WTF.....are there that many tricks or treaters in Tulsa who want Vegan Milk Duds??  I must call my friend ’Karen’ and ask her WTF is going on here!!??
  • B in T Coronavirus Coaching Crystal Ball:  - Urban Meyer to Texas;  Tom Herman to East Carolina; Adam Gase (from the Jets to Midland High School);  


FOS College Football Picks


Oklahoma State 42 Texas 32

Texas hoity-toity trustees are so far up Herman’s anus that they took away his resume creation button ◼️on his laptop!!  Pistol Pete tried to lasso Bevo, and one of his handlers punched Pete in his head and broke his hand!!  The handler broke HIS hand that is!  




Oklahoma 45 at Texas Tech 38

Looks like the Sooners are leaning towards the Pier 1 Chapter 11 Bowl which will be played at the Fargo High School stadium.  Sooner fans are ecstatic since they have never been to Fargo, North Dakota!!  Please get your OU Parkas at The Soonerville Shop for $279.99!  Spencer Rattler has grown up quite a bit and since losing games makes you stronger, so they say, he is very strong πŸ’ͺ!


Tulsa 42 East Carolina 13

The East Carolina Pirates and their 13 fans seemed annoyed that the TU student section was 

passing around a Fatty (Definition:  refers to a rolled marijuana cigarette or joint which is quite large as it contains a large amount of marijuana) and did not offer any to the Pirate fans!!  Our secret underground tailgate party by the TU Library was raided by the TU Security Cops!  A couple of the TU Happy Timers attempted to get away but were caught by mall cops on unicycles!!  We moved the tailgate party to the Cony Islander parking lot on 11th Street!!  Tulsa quarterback Zack Smith completed 23 of 30 passes for 4 TDs and 1 interception!!  


Texas A&M 38 Arkansas 31

A&M coach Jimbo Fisher insisted on having a 75% Coronavirus attended stadium!  ThePresident of Texas A&M agreed to the 75% maximum attendance but only 32% of the Aggie fans showed up!!  The A&M trustees were shocked and appalled by the low numbers!!  Aggie fans simply stated that it was simply easier and much safer to stay away from Coronavirus and we are much closer to the Margarita blender!!


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************UPSET SPECIAL**************

Penn State 36 Ohio Stae 35

Penn State QB Wil Levis was able to make his passes count in the battle with the Buckeyes!!  He was 14-19 and 3 touchdowns and 0 picks from the NFL bound Buckeye secondary!!


Cincinnati 51 Memphis 42

Both of these conference American Athletic teams can score but the question is can they stop Owasso Rams high school offense!?




Michigan 35 Michigan State 31

Rumor has it that the Michigan State mukkety mucks have the money to make an offer toMichigan coach Harbaugh!!  TMZ sources say that have the contract buyout money, a new 3 million dollar home in East Lansing, a 4 year 20 million dollar contract and a lifetime of Hager slacks all for Coach Harbaugh!!


Baylor 31 TCU 25

Baylor Bears quarterback Charlie Brewer is in his second year of grad school due to his long stay in Waco!!  He completed 24 for 30 passes 2 touchdowns and 0 interceptions, and announced he was going for his Doctorate while playing at Baylor!


Kansas State 42 at West Virginia 31

Kansas State has the number 1 defense in the Big 12!  So what, IKR!!  Any time you get out of Morgantown with a win and no communicable diseases it is a good weekend!!


Iowa State 55 at Kansas 24

Snow fell during the second half in Lawrence and caused Kansas Coach Miles to call time out for a quick cup of cappuccino from a student trainer!!  Kansas football still sucks but the countryside is mighty picturesque when snowfalls!!


Illinois 31 Purdue 21

The Illinois with coach Lovie Smith are playing to save Lovie’s job so they will not have to pay his 10 million dollar buyout!!


Auburn 42 LSU 31

I would have sworn that LSU won the National Championship last year, but this year they are chicken πŸ’©poop compared to the rest of the SEC!!



FOS High School Picks:


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Will Pumpkin Man disappear after the 31st of October?  Which High School will see Pumpkin Man this week!


Booker T Washington 42 at Muskogee 16

Muskogee has speed but no size, BTW has both on their freshman squad alone!


Blackwell 35 at Alva 30


Blackwell was looking for it’s fourth win  for the first time since the invention of color TV!! On the trip back home the happy Maroon football team stopped just outside of Alva at a little town called Hooker!!  Hooker is known for its Halloween Hayrides and missing people!!  Four folks are still missing from the Hooker Halloween Hayride!!!  Just kidding!


Union 52 at Southmoore 21

Union needs to whip some folks to make up for the 0-4 start!!  I would not want to meet them in the playoffs!!


Jenks 55 at Edmond Memorial 28

The Jenks and Edmond areas are very similar areas with the only difference, Edmond divided into two schools Edmond Memorial and Edmond Sante Fe!  This is an argument between the Eastside and Westside of Oklahoma for 2 decades!!


Broken Arrow 56 Norman 32

BA is determined to get back to the 6A1 Championship game and by beating Norman is justone brick on the road yellow brick road to get there!!


Owasso 62 Moore 12

Owasso's defensive coordinator is very confident and states that the Rams would be in the top 4 of Conference USA!!  The Ram’s defense has no lack confidence issues!!  Go Rams!!


Bixby 59 Ponca City 7

The Bixby Spartans let the starters relax after a 49-0 lead at halftime!!  With their helmets and shoulder pads off the starters were noticed dancing with the Bixby Drill Team to Chaka Khan!!  This ended immediately when coach Montgomery saw the group!!  But he said he would do the worm (SNL fame) after the game!!!  Cool coach!


Bishop Kelley 38 Coweta 13

The Comets are tough to beat and fundamentally sound!!  Should finally start sniffing that Gold Ball!!


Glenpool 46 at Nathan Hale 6

Keep plugging Rangers!!


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PUMPKIN MAN SPOTTED AT ROBERTS AUTO DEALERSHIP IN PRYOR!  FREE MARGARITAS!


Collinsville 34 at Pryor 21

The town of Pryor was excited when sightings of Pumpkin Man were reported at Roberts Auto Dealership!!  Over a thousand folks gathered at the Pryor dealership as he handed out Margaritas and treats with surgical gloves from Saint Francis Hospital Pryor and sold 38 cars in 2 hours that Friday!!  A record, thanks to the Pumpkin Man!!  The treats seemed to put everyone in a great mood and ready to purchase a new Chevy!!  The treats were needed for the Pryor football team also!!


Wagoner 48 at Grove 13

The Grove School Council indicated they had 578 Coronavirus cases and the Wagoner game would be called off!!  Grove doesn't even have 578 kids in their high school!!  Nice try Grove, and a special thanks to Dr. Faucci!!


Ada 46 Cushing 31


Tough day for my nephew Caleb,  his girlfriend Helga broke up and his high school team was defeated by Ada 46 to 31!  My nephew will find a new girl soon, like tomorrow!!  I must brag that he did make Cushing special teams player of the week, 3 tackles and one assisted tackle!!  


FOS Mom O Meter - Cushing .978 Ada  .960  This was a match

between two groups of super football moms separated only by the dirty diaper toss and the frozen Margarita blender speed contest!!  The ladies had some fun when a Cushing mom, whom I think might be an in law of mine, accidentally hit an Ada mom in the Kister!  Diapers flew everywhere and both sides laughed and did Coronavirus fake handshakes!!  The Cushing moms simply dominated the Margi contest with 7 former moms or current moms who have bartended!. Winning time for a blend and pour Margarita was 1 minute and 34 seconds!!


FOS Diner of the Week:

Prairie Kitchen - 129 Northeast Richardson Loop, Ada, OK   The Prairie Kitchen is known for its baby back ribs and hog jowl!!  Minnie Pearl stated on Hee Haw in 1976 that the Prairie Kitchen were the best dang nab barbecue she had ever ate!!


Holland Hall 38 Verdigris 24

Current Holland Hall and future Army defensive end Owen Ostraski had two sacks, two pass deflections, and 4 TFSs (tackles for losses)!!!


Cascia Hall 48 Roland 18

The Commandos were short-handed 13 players but not from Coronavirus!  These young men were simply suspended for having a huff and puff party at Woodward Park!!  No names of the Cascia football team or Edison Cheerleaders were given due to underage laws!


Cashion 38 Tonkawa 28

Cashion was simply much more physical than Tonkawa and kept the Buccaneers off-balance all night!!


FOS NFL Picks:


Browns 35 Raiders 28

The Browns are on a roll and their leader Baker Mayfield is riding this wave of wins for into the annals of Cleveland Browns history!!




Chiefs 42 Jets 13

The Jets coach Adam Gase, who shows a strong resemblance to a young Harvey Weinstein,who's family is selling his house in New York and moving to Midland, Texas to coach the local high school team!!  Coach Gase is said to be a dead man walking to the Jets ownership with his 0-7 record and no signs of improvement!!



Saints 24 at Bears 16

The Saints are fighting for their playoff lives and with a road victory over da Bears that may help get them over the hump!!


Cowboys 31 at Eagles 27

The Cowboys and QB Andy Daulton are keeping the Boys on top of the National League Least Division!!  Eagles QB Wentz threw an interception to secure the game for the Cowboys!!




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Baltimore 23 at  Pittsburgh 21

These two defenses are so vaunted that it made me look up the word vaunted!!  It usually means praised and boasted, but with football, it can also mean ass-kicking and deadly!  The difference in the game happened when Steeler QB Rothlrnsberger stepped out of the endzone with his size 16 shoes for a safety!!


FOS Words of Wisdom from the unwise one:  Axe Cologne is the new Old Spice!!



Have a great sports week!


by B in T - FakedOutSports, syndicated in SoonerPolitics.org





B, in T

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