Oct 17
Faked Out Sports - B in T
PUMPKIN MAN SIGHTING AT HOLLAND HALL!! HOLLAND HALL SECURITY TASERS WRONG VILLAIN!!
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FOS Notes:
- Bobbleheads- My Granddaughter Ana had her first 4-year-old soccer game!! She did score a goal kinda, semi accidentally but she was the sheepherder of the scrum of toddler girls running after the soccer ball!! Ana conversed with her coach quite a bit: ’Coach I have Mickey Mouse bandaids on, ’ Coach I would like to to introduce you to my family, ’ ’Coach would you like some of our snacks?’ ’Coach I need to go to the bathroom’. Of course, these questions were asked while the game was in progress!!
- Bobbleheads continued: One of my biggest fans is my 94 years young Uncle Thurston!! He never misses a beat on my college picks and will let me know about the wrong ones!! I thought he deserves to be in my kid Bobblehead section because he is still young at heart! I know that is a cliche, but so true! He also reads Faked Out Sports to our Aunt Pat (his wife) at 91 years old!! We love them so much!!
- I would put Arkansas State third in the Big 12, behind Texas and Oklahoma State!!
- The South Park cast was at the Broncos game!! If you look closely the flat cardboard cut out of Cartman gave General Manager Elway the bird!!
- I really did not care about the Rinky Dink baseball playoffs formerly known as the MLB World Series. Just as long as my Redbirds were allowed to wear their baby blue uniforms one more time!!
- Which of the following may have a squirrel family living on top of their head: a. Donald Trump b. Bryan from Tulsa c. Bill Self d. Larry King e. Don King f. Burger King creepy dude ANSWER: a
FOS College Picks:
Tulsa 36 Cincinnati 30
The third game in a row that the Golden Hurricane play a top 15 opponent!! Tulsa is licking its chops just to have a have game in front of 3,657 TU fans of which half are AARP and basically there for the free Hurricane towels with Arby’s coupons!! The TU defense is very athletic and actually has some speed and length!! A pandemic masked Pumpkin Man in a trench coat reportedly pinched a TU cheerleader on his backside and was lost in the crowd!! Was this the real Pumpkin Man or one of my TU fraternity brothers? We will never know!! The memo about no tailgating was lost by all 40 of my TU friends and spouses!! We decided to have a 6 feet apart and COV mask underground tailgate party by the TU library!! Once we finally found the library we started to party!! We had Cornholing with TU boards! The TU Happy Timers crashed our underground party and brought a Coors Light Pony Keg!! These 70-year-old plus TU hotties got the tailgate party hopping and brought a giant bowl of bean guacamole dip!! A nice Cincinnati Bearcat family joined us and brought a gallon of Jaeger and we broke out the Hasty-Bake grill!! Great TU football times even in the PANDEMIC!!
THIS GAME IS CANCELLED BUT THIS IS THE PREDICTION!
Oklahoma State 38 at Baylor 24
The Cowboys are looking solid to compete for the Big 12 Conference Championship! Running back not name El Chua seems to be picking up the running game!! Oklahoma State running back L.D. Bean (not a clothing catalog) runs like he has something to prove!! He seems to have more of a burst than the Chuba Cobre! In the 4th quarter Pistol Pete was in a slight skirmish with the Baylor Bear mascot when Pete took his Bear costume head off and put in a concession stand vat of unused nacho cheese!! No charges were filed! True Shat!!
**********UPSET SPECIAL************
Arkansas 34 Ole Miss 31
Any time the the Hogs win in the SEC it is an upset special!! The Razorbacks new QB Feliepe Franks threw 3 touchdowns and 1 pick!! The few pandemics fans celebrated after the game by attempting to tear down the goal post!! There simply was not enough weight and fans to capsize the goalposts!! SPECIAL RECOGNITION TO MYLES SLUSHER, #2 FRESHMAN FOR RAZORBACKS FROM BROKEN ARROW! SPECIAL YOUNG MAN AND SPECIAL FAMILY!
Mississippi State 42 Texas A&M 34
Coach Leach is not liked among the snooty, tooty SEC coaches because he implemented something called the run and shoot offense to the conference! The State athletic department has hired extra retired Secret Service dudes to keep eyes on coach Leach!! Aggie coach Jimbo Fisher is also hiring extra security from the Aerosmith Band!! This influx of giant tattooed men in leather is mainly to protect Jimbo from jeers from the irrate A&M fans!!
North Carolina 35 at Florida State 22
Tarheel Coach Mac Brown has his team looking to make the final four in football, not basketball!! North Carolina QB Sam Howell is hot and has the eye of pro scouts!!
Auburn 45 at South Carolina 24
Auburn plays a tough road game against the Gamecocks!! Nice road win!!
Memphis 42 UCF 41
Memphis QB Brady White is a 6th-year senior who is married with three kids and a master's degree since he has been in Memphis!
West Virginia 47 Kansas 20
Kansas Coach Miles sent an updated resume to Fox Sports immediately after the game! True shat!
Florida 45 LSU 35
The Tigers have come down from their college football perch after a third defeat to the Gators!! Coach Orgeron has a new girlfriend who looks similar to Daisey May at Dogpatch U.S.A., Harrison, Arkansas!
Alabama 34 Georgia 30
Alabama is really good and Georgia is really good! This may be the college football championship game! Grumpy Saban has agreed to only 5 minutes of being shatty to the whole press conference in his post-game press conferences! We will see!
FOS High School Picks:
Broken Arrow 45 at Yukon 32
The Tigers defeated the Millers in a tough game in Yukon!! The Miller team was not named after Miller Beer, but after hard working welders! The B.A.Tiger O-Line averages 260lbs while the Yukon D-Line averages 217lbs!! Can you say MISMATCH!
Union 43 Moore 12
The Union team is having a below-par year and will have to up their recruiting in small-town rural Oklahoma! The Union linemen seem to have shrunk in size over the latter decade. Coach Friedrich has to start with the youth football program and rebuild through the Union moms!!! No more tofu and gluten-free crap for Union toddlers! Mashed potatoes should be served at every meal for all future Union players!!
Owasso 62 at Southmore 12
Another crazy incident occurred on the bus trip to Southmoore! The third luxury Owasso football bus was stricken with a severed head according to numerous football players, relating to a scene on Jeepers Creepers 2!! Fortunately, it was only some kids dropping a pumpkin 🎃 off a bridge!! Uuuummmm, Pumpkin Man??
CANCELLED BUT THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED!
Jenks 43 Edmond Santa Fe 30
Edmond Sante Fe is getting better but not Trojan better!! Jenk’s QB Stephen Kittle completed 18 for 24 passes and 3 touchdowns!! The Wolves mascot Delbert Humperdinck has been the man under the costume for 25 years!! While touring with his dad (Englebert in the 90s) he decided that Edmond was his taste of a town to live in!! A year later he was introduced to the Wolves mascot costume!! History was made at Edmond Santa Fe!! True Shat, Google it Mark Riley!!Bixby 52 at Sand Springs 12
The young Spartans head to Sand Springs to fight the Sandites!! After the game, the Bixby team luxury bus stopped at Billy Rays Catfish and Barbecue!! After putting away 3 whole hogs and 1000 Catfish the team headed to Bixby feeling full and satisfied!! Junior Bixby running back Braylin Presley might be the fastest player in south Tulsa, which is fast!! 
BTW 46 at Putman City West 22
Booker T was allowed to bring their awesome band, dance team, and majorette!! The Hornet halftime performance was spectacular and received a standing ovation from the Putman City crowd!!
Bishop Kelley 56 Will Rogers 6
Bishop Kelley coach JJ Tapana did the best he could to keep the score down!! In the second half BK played mostly 8th and 9th graders plus two stoned cheerleaders!! Not really, JK, JJ!
Sapulpa 55 at Nathan Hale 13
The Chieftains drilled my Rangers, but our cheerleaders are better!! Ha!
Pryor 46 Memorial 18
Pryor the home of Chris Taylor super sportswriter, and my mentor, demolished another Tulsa public school team! Pryor’s offensive line are all corn fed beefcakes and are banned from all, all you can eat Buffets!!Wagoner 56 at Miami 8
The Bulldogs over the Wardogs!!
**********UPSET SPECIAL************
Cushing 35 John Marshall 28
McClain 34 at Broken Bow 22
The McLain Titans brought some wheels to go against the Broken Bow Savages size! Broken Bow, whose nickname is not approved by B in T, tried to run the ball and slow down the McLain speed to no avail!! The Titan players and families stay at some well known local Cabins after the game!! These Broken Bow cabins are known for Big Foot sightings!!! A couple of McLain footballers claimed to have seen Big Foot that night!! After talking with local Squatch hunters this was officially labeled a Pumpkin Man sighting! A nice road win for the Scotts, sorry, Titans!!
FOS Mom O Meter Broken Bow Moms .983. McClain Moms .978. Two teams with super moms which had the closest match ever in Faked Out Sports history!! The difference came down to the Chili cook-off where a Broken Bow mom, Laura Lowry brought their secret Chili sauce into the competition!! This was a deadly move and sealed the victory for the Broken Bow moms!
FOS Diner of the Week: Shady Oaks 6515 US Highway 259 Broken Bow, Oklahoma. The fried catfish is made from a secret batter of cornmeal and mountain oysters!! Shady’s is very well known for being the favorite restaurant of Ron Howard, Hollywood producer-director, and also know as Opie Taylor on The Andy Taylor Show!!
Holland Hall 36 Berryhill 31
🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃
PUMPKIN MAN SIGHTING AT THE HALL
Holland Hall security accidentally tased an elderly lady with an orange 🍊 scarf on her head, thinking they had caught Pumpkin Man!! The Man known as Pumpkin was last seen putting Dannon Yogurt and M&M coupons on each car in the Holland Hall parking lot that wasn't a Lexus or an Infinity SUV!!
Blackwell 34 Newkirk 23
Great game as downtown Blackwell was getting ready for it's traditional Halloween Moo Ha Ha!! The Halloween Moo Ha Ha started in 2007, with the Kay Country 4H bake sale to raise money!! Pumpkin Pies, pecan pies, and other goodies are for sale all during the week of the Blackwell VS Perry week!! Watch out for the Pumpkin brownies with green seeds!!
Metro Christian 48 Victory Christian 13
Metro is very high-powered offensive machine! Victory is an average team with great facilities to worship God!
Tonkawa 38 Oklahoma Christian Academy 15 The Buccaneers football teams cause small Christian high schools nightmares!!
Cascia Hall 52 at Panama 13
The Panama Razorbacks are in a small tiff with the Arkansas Razorbacks with the naming of their team as the Razorbacks!! The University of Arkansas and its team of 12 attorneys at 350 dollars an hour have been fighting the Panama Razorbacks and their Attorney/Pharmacist/Butcher, Homer Snodgrass, over the Razorback name for 9 years! Total cost for Arkansas U. - $565,000 Total Cost Panama, Oklahoma $762 plus 14 thick-cut steaks at Christmas every year until Homer is gone!!
FOS NFL Picks:
Chiefs38 at Bills 30
Light snow was falling on the partially frozen tundra field at Buffalo Stadium 🏟️! A small Bills pandemic crowd of 21,000 watched Chiefs wonder child Mahomes throw no-look passes, behind the back passes, between the legs passes, and passes with his teeth..........yes see pictures below!!
Pics
Steelers 27 Browns 20
Cleveland Quarterback Baker Mayfield and Pittsburgh QB Ben Roethlisberger went to dinner the night before a Sunday afternoon kickoff at a place called Altius where bread and water can cost up to 10 dollars!! No shat!! Baker looks up to Mr. Roethlisberger as a mentor and tries to emulate him in his daily decisions!! Ben ordered a steak and lobster and insisted on taking the tab!! Baker had a Ceasar Salad, water, and 4 tequila shots!! Ben had 5 tequila shots!! Baker came out of the dinner date a much wiser young man thanks to his new big brother Ben!!
Bears 31 at Panthers 21
The Bears backup QB Nick Foles has been hot and the Bears are riding him to the playoffs for the first time since Jim McMahon did the Super Bowl Shuffle!! The Bear’s, now back up QB, Trubinsky has upset the Single Girl Bears Fan Club by being benched!! There Fan Club numbers have dropped drastically since his benching according to TMZ!
Cowboys 38 Cardinals 28
The new-look QB model Kyler Murray VS the current Cowboy model QB Dak Prescott on Monday Night Football!! Twenty thousand fans were allowed in Jerry World and five thousand press credentials, including Faked Out Sports!! TMZ did catch the night's best photo when Cowboy owner Jerry Jones was caught taking his teeth out in his luxury suite!!
FOS Words of wisdom from the unwise one:
Have a great sports week!
Faked Out Sports/B in T
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