Wednesday, September 30, 2020

College Football Invaded by the Pumpkin Man!




FOS/ Bryan in Tulsa 

The OU/Texas rivalry is very similar to the Biden/Trump Presidential Election rivalry!!  They both have a very old past and they both hate each other!!  Also:  Disabled Bocce Ball is back! 

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FOS Notes:


  • My Center for Physically Limited is just about to get fully back to pre Coronavirus form!!  The All American Boccia team is ready for an in house tournament to get the competitive juices flowing again!!  Starting on the 1st of October we have a month-long tournament to see who can be the best boccia player in the world!  A number of folks in the tournament want to play me first not because of my glowing personality but simply my ability to suck the most!!
  • Look for Baker Mayfield to start looking over his shoulder at Case Keenan, for the Browns!!
  • Owasso 38 at Missouri State 31  This game was scheduled to replace Missouri State vs. Central Arkansas, so coach Blankenship volunteered to fill in!!  Missouri State offered 100 used laptops to Owasso to play the game at Bears Stadium in Springfield, Missouri!
  • The Big 12 has changed the name of the Iowa State and Kansas State rivalry to the Midwest’s largest pillow fight!!  Watch out for the Conference USA intramural teams Big 12!!
  • A week ago Kirk Herbstreit of College Gameday had the Texas Tinyhorns in the final four college football playoffs!!  Immediately men in white suits took Mr. Herbstreit someplace quiet and padded!!


FOS College Picks

Pumpkin πŸŽƒ Man sighting in Lawrence, Kansas!?!?!?!








Oklahoma 45 at Iowa State 42
The Clones are having trouble beating multi-directional schools and ISU intermural teams!!  The Pandemic Heisman Trophy winner to be, Spencer Rattler, threw for 3 touchdowns with 0 pics!!  Rattler did a ’Mahomesish move’ behind the back pass to 6’10” 345 lbs Austin Stogner!!  If you are good enough and have the huevos to go behind the back, make sure your receiver is the size of a barn!!  The game was delayed in the third quarter when two Sooner cheerleaders became hooked by their COVID shields!  Fortunately, the Des Moines rescue team had a jaws of life and the two male Cheerleaders were separated and the game resumed!

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Oklahoma State 51 at Kansas 21
A pumpkin man sighting was documented at the Kansas Campus Library!!  Pumpkin Man handed out edible chocolates on the main floor library and the basement library to KU students who did not know there was a game going on or did not know what a football was!!  Great win on the road against a Division III team!!  Kansas Basketball and future Hall of Famer Bill ’Hollywood’ Self attended the game wearing an OKC Thunder dress shirt!  Ummmmm.......???  Lawrence, Kansas is beautiful in October and a picture-perfect place to catch the Coronavirus!!  Coach Gundy and his wife, had dinner with the Self’s and discussed their commercial OAN that comes out Thanksgiving day!!  True story!  No shat!  

**********UPSET SPECIAL**********
Tulsa 31 at UCF 27
The Golden Hurricane players are upbeat and serious about demolishing UCF!!  The whole team of TU players go to a Friday night movie in Orlando called ’The Night Before Halloween’!!  The group arrived late to check-in and coach Montgomery came out of the manager's office and talked to them about dedication!!!  Coach Monte was noticeably upset and canceled ’the read a book to bed’ hour!!  Zac Smith of Tulsa is the real deal and passed for 307 yards and 3 touchdowns and 1 interception!!   The TU happy timers (70 years and up) were given the Hustle Award for not falling during the entire reception at Furr's after the game!


Mississippi State 42 Arkansas 23
The Bulldogs never lose at home!  The Razorback players and the Mississippi State players now have a Friday pre-game movie in Starkville!  The movie (all players 3 seats apart) was Halloween special ’Chucky’!!!  Some players became nauseous and tossed their groceries in the Starkville AMC theater!!!  The Razorbacks Coach Pittman and Coach Leach stopped the movie and told some alien and ghost stories and the young Bulldogs felt much better!!


West Virginia 37  Baylor 31 
Mountaineer coach Neal Brown told his players that Baylor was musket fodder and they should win by two touchdowns! This pregame speech went into the annals of West Virginia pre-game speeches lore and Coach Brown was given a 3-year extension to his contract!  New Baylor Coach Aranda brought his whole family to West Virginia, for the last time!  Pic

Kansas State 34 Texas Tech 31
Red Raider QB Alan Bowman threw 3 touchdowns and unfortunately 3 interceptions!!  The Mildcats QB Skylar Thomas is still running the QB counterplay for 2 yards and a cloud of grounded tennis shoes offense!!  This tribute is for the great Coach Bill Snyder and his QB counters!!

Alabama 42 Texas A&M 31
Alabama coach Grumpy Saban was upset after the game that he only has 2 Alabama Highway patrolmen to escort him off the field, and not the usual 4!!  He was very short and angry at the post-game press conference!!  What’s new!



Texas 45 TCU 31
Friday, TCU Singer-songwriter coach Patterson and Texas Coach Herman played golf on Herman’s 18 hole golf course in his back yard!!  
Georgia 42 Auburn 31
Auburn coach Calzone is getting his resume updated again!!  TU??

SMU 37 Memphis 35
Not worthy of an upset special, but close!!



FOS High School Picks:

Union 47 Putnam City 13
Union finally found a team they could beat!!  All they had to do was travel to the west side of Oklahoma City!!

Owasso 52 at Norman North 18
The Owasso Rams and coach B are attempting to approach the Big 12 for membership!!  True shat!  Norman North can drop to 3A and no one would notice!

Broken Arrow 38 at Jenks 37
Great game but number 3- 6A1 Broken Arrow overcame mental errors to defeat number 2 6A1 Jenks!  The Trump no mask fans and the Mumbles Biden wear masks to bed fans became embroiled at halftime and a number of slap fights broke out!




Stillwater 32 at Del City 22
Stillwater Pioneers have asked for a rematch of the Bixby game that was canceled due to the COV19 outbreak with the Stillwater players and student body!!  Upon further discussion, the Stillwater Athletic Director declined to play due to lack of balls, or huevos!

BTW 42 at Bartlesville 24
Booker T’s speed surprised even the Bruins who happen to have some quick times quick on their own team!!  BTW currently has 10 Division 1 prospects on the varsity and 2 freshmen and an 8th grader who have D1 offers as well!!  Seriously awesome dudes!

Bixby 62 at Putman City West 12
Local Bixby Coronavirus expert Bucky Fauci (uncle of) created a mask that looks similar to the Michael Myers mask on the movie Halloween!!  The Bixby players looked very intimidating to the PC West players and caused some of the gents to hide behind the offensive lineman!!



Bishop Kelley 38 Durant 6
BK continues to put the Lions in the W column each year!!  Comets RB Owen Heineke ran over Durant players like they were ants under a mammoth elephant!!



Tahlequah 42 Nathan Hale 12
So far the only game my alma mater could possibly win was canceled by the Coronavirus!!  Keep pounding Rangers!
Pryor 33 at Glenpool 20
The Pryor Tigers go to Glenpool and kick some booty!!  The Warriors are tough to beat at home but Pryor has some beefcakes upfront!!
FOS Mom O Meter   Glenpool moms .974 Pryor moms.970    We have some of the most competitive moms in the history of the FOS mom O meter!!  The final difference came down to the yodeling contest where the judge from Kay County was the only one who failed to give Yanka Lichtenstein from Pryor a 100.00 for her perfect rendition of Yo da ley li, yo da le li HO!!  Shameful!!

FOS Ma and Pa Diner of the Week-
Speedy’s Mexican Grill- 14797 Casper street west.  This little spicy hot death chamber once served Mad Dog 357 on some refried beans and was shut down for a fricken week!!  


Cascia Hall 38 Spiro 27
The lights are always on at the Cascia weight room 
and Coach Medina and the athletic staff have 
made it part of the initiation to have a student-athletes
sit in a chair and watch the fluorescent lights in case 
they turn off 24 hours a day!!  That is where Coach 
Medina has his team focussed by weight room light duty!
He once benched the team's star QB for taking his eyes off
the light board during spring camp!!  He was checking out a cheerleader!  
Give the dude a break!!



Wagoner 42 Bristow 12
Wagoner may not lose again until 2022!!
Very strong defense this year!!

Cushing 38 Harrah 6
The Cushing sophomore studs seem to be kicking some asses!!  The young fellows were requested to take a roid test and a rabis test to go along with the COV19 test!!  My nephew received a 15-yard personal foul penalty for knocking the Harrah punter on his butt for being a mouthy punk!!  His mom made him send apology cards to the young punter runt, Harrah and Cushing School Board and Principals PLUS his father Mike made him stay home while they went, Bambi / deer hunting!!  Very inhumane to the young man!!

Holland Hall 42 at Central 27
Two real strong 3A teams headed for the playoffs!!



Blackwell 38 Perry 20 
Maroons Vs Maroons!!  A tough crowd in Blackwell as the Morrill's, Blakely’s and the Bechtel's continue their annual deer hunting competition and smack talk at the game!!  Blackwell has 3 wins this year which is the most since the big giant airplane props were installed in the wheat fields!!  



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Pumpkin Man was spotted Thursday at the Caney Valley Speedway where he drove the Speedway A Feature pace car!!  He threw Nestle's miniature pumpkin creamers to the speedway crowd!!  




Hominy 35 at Caney Valley 24
Hominy is the home of future NFL and current Tulsa linebacker Zaven Collins!!  Zaven’s mom is a friend of Faked Out Sports although she does not know it yet!!  Hominy rocks and so do the Collins!!




FOS NFL Picks:

Broncos 31 at Jets 17
Denver QB Lock is a favorite of Faked Out Sports and wins ugly but he........wins!!  The Jet fans are moving to Jersey to see a real high school football team!!






Cowboys 34 Browns 13
So far the debut of WR C.D. Lamb from Oklahoma has been semi-spectacular, at best!  Against the Browns, he caught 8 passes for 165 yards and 1 touchdown!  The C.D.s’ performance against the Browns semi-spectacular performance to a pretty darn spectacular performance!!






Chiefs 28 Patriots 24
Chief’s have more problems with current Pats QB Cam Newton than the old-timer Tom Brady!!  Cam is bigger than most of the Chief lineman, boom Cam boom!  The New England fans nick named Cam the big banana!!

Bears 26 Colts 21
The Bears square-jawed QB Mitch Trubinsky played very well and the defense led DE Cleo Mack held on to beat the Colts!!  The Colts are considering bringing back Peyton Manning!!

Texans 36 Vikings 28
The Texans drilled the Vikings, with Deshaun Watson throwing for 3 touchdowns and 1 pick!!



Steelers 32 at Titans 21
The Steelers wheeled out Ben Roethlisberger in the second half after being placed in a body cast after a hit by the entire Titan linebacking core!  Ben threw two touchdowns in the second half!!


FOS Words of wisdom from the unwise one:
If you really must drink bong water then have a grade 5 cleansing the next day!!!

Have a great sports week!

FOS - B in T


by B in T - FakedOutSports, syndicated in SoonerPolitics.org





B, in T
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