Tuesday, September 3, 2019

College Upset Special and High School Diner of the Week!


FOS/B in T

FOS Notes ’bout nuthin:
Next University of Oklahoma President is in the Sooners Own Back Pasture!!
Who?

Joe Castiglione!!

WHY?                               WHY NOT?
*Smart                               He is a jock 
*Articulate                       That’s it
*Well Groomed.      
*Personable
 *He Has Raised more Money than    anyone Including 2016 Trump Presidential Campaign!!
*Likes Sports
*Likes Sports
*Likes Football
*Likes Football
*Good Negotiator
Zac Selmon currently on staff as the Associate Athletic Director is being groomed to take over Joe’s AD position!!  He is the son of Dewey Selmon and nephew of Lucious and Leroy Selmon and has the background to be his replacement!!

#B IN T SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT:#
Every year FOS/B in T throws out a feat to be completed by the crew at Faked Out Sports, if the my Golden Hurricane wins a game they have a snowball chance in hell to win!  Thus when TU beats OSU, the crew of myself, Grandkids Ana, Gustav, and Frankie will run in our underwear and/or diapers through the Lambda Chi House singing the TU fight song, ’On the field to victory, on Tulsa on’!!!!!  ESPN cameras will be there!!

Arkansas Muckety Mucks Once Said They Would Never Play Football at Tulsa’s Chapman Stadium!!  Never  Never, Folks!!
Current Tulsa Athletic Director Dr. Derrick Gragg and Arkansas Athletic Director Hunter Urachek decided to tango and do a 2 for 1 series between the geographically close schools!!  The money benefit for TU should be nice at either venue!!  Tulsa University officials and the Tulsa Chamber of Commerce has agreed to build a luxury hotel called the Luxor of Tulsa!!  This mega hotel will be completed just in time for the Razorback team, fans, coaches and dignitaries to be the first to occupy the hotel monstrosity in September of 2027!!  Yes, you heard with B in T FIRST!!

FOS College Picks:

Oklahoma 62 South Dakota 12
The South Dakota Coyotes play their home games in the 10,000 seat Dakotadome n Vermillion, South Dakota!!  On a crowded day at Oklahoma’s Gaylord Family Stadium alm,ost 10,000 fans use the restrooms in the Southeast stands at halftime!!  A very accurate compairs on!!  Sooner's speed, size, agility and good looks in their uniforms are simply too much for the visitors from Vermillion!!  South Dakota Coyote mascot looks a lot like the Wiley Coyote of Roadrunner Cartoon fame!!  This was somewhat cute until the Sooner Schooner ran over the Coyote Mascot causing a BOOM and an OUCH (like the old Warner Bros. Cartoon, get it?!) for the poor fella!!   
Oklahoma State 52 McNeese State 21
McNeese is led by QB Cody Orgeron who completed 17-32 for 2 touchdowns and 198 yards!!  Cody is the son of LSU Head Coach Ed Orgeron and also the voice of Harry the Hippo in The Lion King!!  The Cowboys QBs Spencer Sanders is the starting QB for the Pokes but coach Mullet insists he had not made the announcement yet!!  Rumor per my friends at TMZ is that T. Boone sent a note down to Gundy at halftime to ’hang a hundred on em and get a mother chicken haircut’!!  If it is reported by TMZ or Entertainment Tonight it must be true, per Mrs. B in T!!
Tulsa 42 at San Jose State 26
The Tulsa Golden Hurricane did know their way to San Jose!   Tulsa’s QB  Zach Smith threw for 237 yards and 4 touchdowns!!  Tulsa Running back Shamari Brooks rushed for 182 yards on 22 carries and 1 touchdown!  Sophomore Linebacker Zaven Collins had 12 tackles and a pass interception!  The TU fans boarded the hotel bus and headed to San Jose’s Original Joes Restuarant to hoot and holler about their Golden Hurricane victory over the Aztecs!!   Numerous ’Cane fans of the younger variety tried the world-famous steak and lobster combo with a 6 jello shot chaser!! The Happy Timer Golden Hurricane Club bus enjoyed the all you can eat fish salad bar with some Wellers and decaf coffee!!  The younger crowd felt like shat the next day while the Hurricane 65 and over Happy Timer Club woke up at 5:30 AM read their FOS by B in T, and had a great greasy breakfast!!  Great win for the Blue and Gold!!
****FOS College UPSET-SPECIAL*****
Texas 38 LSU 35
Longhorn Coach Overrated Herman out-coached LSU Coach Mumbles Orgeron with a last-minute field goal by Texas kicker Dicker from French Licker, Indiana!!  Google it, bro!!
Texas QB Sam Elinger completed 25-40 passes for 291 yards, 3 TDs, and 2 picks!!  The Longhorns win a big game again despite the play calling of their coach Overrated Herman!!
Ole Miss 28 Arkansas 23
The Rebel fans were very happy to have their nemesis the Razorbacks in their own back yard!!  The Vaught-Hemingway Stadium in Oxford, Mississippi is a very hostile place for the Razorbacks to play!!  Coach Morris has equipped the Arkansas offense with Samsung ear speakers to muffle out crowd noise!!  QB Ben Hicks can communicate the signals through the Samsung speakers to the wideouts and backs and the Center can do the same for the O-line!!  You can purchase the Samsung sound muffler speakers for 59.99 at Best Buy until November, 24th!!  Say that you read this on FOS with B in T and receive a 10 dollar credit on the purchase of Samsung Underwater Sound Muffler Speakers!!  Oh yes, the game, the Razorbacks are an immensely improved team and just needs to learn how to close out games on the road!!  
Ohio State 51 Cincinnati 21
Cincinnati Bearcats Desmond Ridder is a good college quarterback when he does not have an NFL defensive front 7 chasing his butt all over Buckeye land!!  Georgia transfer QB Justin Fields made the game look easy throwing for 257 yards and 4 TDs while running for 88 yards and 2 TDs!!  Bearcat coach Fickell was hacked off about the officiating and about being flipped off by Ohio State mascot Brutus Buckeye!!  Brutus claimed he was giving the Buckeyes were number 1 signal!!  The Brutus Buckeye paw only has 4 fingers!!
Missouri 45 West Virginia 42
The Mountaineers and their OU transfer, Austin Kendall, gave the Tigers all they can handle in Columbia!!  Kendall's confidence is getting stronger the more he can find his wideouts for touchdowns!!  Missouri QB Kelly Bryant is the real deal and can make the Tiger team matter in the SEC!!            

Kansas State 45 Bowling Green 16
New K-State coach, Chris Klieman, seems to fit in perfectly and is using an offense that fits his personnel!!  Kansas State QB Skylar Thomas picked the Bowlin Green defense apart!!  

Clemson 42 Texas A&M 34
Coach Dabo and Coach Jimbo could have some fun if they decided to open a restaurant and bar together!!  Dabo Jimbo is Loco, Pub, and Tavern!  Dabo and Jimbo Go-Go, Restaurant and Bar!!   Clemson QB Lawrence threw for 340 yards, 4 touchdowns, and no interceptions!  Texas A&M QB Monds threw 2 picks that proved costly!!

Central Florida 45 at Florida Atlantic 20
Florida Atlantic has a long way to go to get back to their 2017 form and Central Florida and Josh Heupel reminded the Owls and coach Lane of that very quickly!!  Notre Dame quarterback transfer Brandon Wimbush looked very comfortable as the number one dude with the Knights!!  Coach Kiffin was starting to feel the heat, as certain boosters were complaining about his large salary and oceanfront forty-two room mansion!!
Michigan 27 Army 20
Army quarterback Kelvin Hopkins Jr makes the Army offense work like a well-oiled tank in the Middle East Desert!!  Michigan run defense was to good for Army!!

********FOS UPSET SPECIAL**********
South Florida 31 at Georgia Tech 25
South Florida was not jacking around with there non-conference schedule!!  First, the Wisconsin Badgers and next at Georgia Tech, then a home game against the Green Bay Packers!!  South Florida Quarterback Blake Barnett was 21-28, 3 touchdowns, and 1 interception!!  I was on a double dose of pain meds when I made this pick!  Jami said I was wearing a lampshade when I wrote this!!
Tennessee 38 BYU 22
The Volunteer’s defense held the Cougar’s pass offense to 208 yards and 3 interceptions!!  A lot of crying Mormons in Knoxville!!

Miami 31 at North Carolina 27
Miami new Coach Manny Diaz and QB Jarren Williams got an important road win at Chappell Hill, North Carolina!!  New North Carolina coach Mac Brown blamed the referees, the perfect weather, the new jerseys, his wife and his buy out contract with the Texas Longhorns for the 4 point loss!!
Stanford 38 at USC 31
Southern Cal coach Clay Helton hired Texas Tech’s Graham Harrell to make his offense good again and maybe save Clay’s job!!  Clay really should have concentrated on a defensive coordinator as well!! 

FOS High School Picks:

Bishop Kelley 27 BTW 20
BK’s coach Tapana was embarrassingly hoisted on his O-Linemen's shoulders as the clock at Prossa Field ran to 0!!  Coach Tapana climbed down off his lineman’s back and exclaimed that this was only the second M_____ F___in game and never ever carry my ass off the field this early in the season again!!  The football parents were aghast and immediately went to Mass!!
Jenks 44 Bixby 34
The Jenks speed was too much for the Spartans!  The Trojans had an elongated halftime show that included cheerleading performances from 945 young ladies from 102 teams!!  Ages 4 through high school showed off their high kicking stuff to the packed stadium!!  Even the Trojan alumni moms put on a cheering display at halftime!!   This may have been the longest Cheerleading routine ever seen at halftime within the state of Oklahoma!!
Blackwell 31 Perry 12
Blackwell Maroons took care of business against the Perry Maroons in Blackwell on Kay Country Fair Night!!  Yes, both teams in the middle of oil and wheat country are named Maroons!. Blackwell goes through head coaches as Blake Shelton goes through number 1 hits!!  Both of these schools have tremendous wrestling programs but the football teams are very poor at best!!  Kay County Fair night brought a lot of fans to the game to simply see their Fair entries at half time!!  Dash Littlefield, from Perry, scared some folks when his prize-winning Brama Bull unloaded his dinner on the Blackwell 45 yard line!!
FOS Mom O Meter:  Perry Maroon Moms edged the Blackwell Maroon Moms .978 to .968!!  A number of Perry Moms have won Gold in the Betty Crocker Pecan Pie Bake Sale competition in Newkirk and used their secret Caro pie ingredients!!!  Pecan pie perpetually put the pretty Perry moms over the top in the Mom O Meter competition!!
FOS Diner of the week!
Prairie Smoked BBQ   116 N. Main Street Blackwell, OK   This is possibly the best Bar-B-Q restaurant in Kay County, even beating out Blue Moon in Ponca City!!  Only in existence in downtown Blackwell for 5 years with such celebrities, as Bob Stoops for lunch, and Hilary Clinton for coffee and pie with 3 Secret Service Persons who ordered diet coke and tuna sandwiches!!  This is a FOS must-taste restaurant!!
Broken Arrow 30 at Union 27
The Tigers, with an Offensive line that averages 280 and the three-headed running back monster called Tolbert, Horn and Williams ground out long drives against the Redskins!!  B in T favorite, Myles Slusher intercepted 2 passes and gave up a third by purposely tipping a sure interception to a teammate who dropped it!!  Oregon Ducks have a sure stud on their hands!!

Holland Hall 27 Cascia Hall 25
The Holland Hall Football Stadium and parking lot will be full of skinny jean students and wanna he skinny jean moms from both the private Halls walking their ugly poodles which are trimmed like my Aunt Ethel’s hedges!! All the neighborhoods around Utica Square emptied to attend the game at the far, far, far, far past 81st Street south Yale H.H. Stadium!!!  The Tulsa Police will be watching for midtown looting and for Cascia middle school parties at Mom and Daddios mansion/home!!!!!  Utica Square will close down on game day and will become a ghost town a la Tombstone!!  Former TU star Jerry Ostroskies son lead the Dutch defense to a last-minute QB sack to solidify the victory!!
Cushing 38 at Bristow 36 
This year for Cushing will be very special since both of my super stud nephews will be playing!!  Caleb Morrill is a Sophomore reserve linebacker and Lucus Morrill is a starting offensive guard!!  Cushing Senior QB Will Moyer 3 touchdown passes to fellow Senior stud Keaton Crooks!!  They are both candidates to be Senior Prom Mr. Tiger this year(John Cena was a previous Mr. Tiger)!!!! An early road win was just what the Cushing team needed!!  The B in T nephews left the game with huge smiles!!  Lineman Lucus, hand in hand with his girlfriend and linebacker Caleb hand in hand with 5 Tiger cheerleaders!!  Super night for the boys!!!
FOS Mom O Meter- Bristow moms rating - 9.88    Cushing moms rating  9.80  The Bristow Pirates moms edged the Cushing Tigers moms in an FFA approved Hog calling contest!!  The contest was even until Bertha Gondwinder did a big call that broke 2 Stop n Git windows across the street!

FOS High School Dinner of the week Bristow Boomerang Diner, 117 S. Main Street.  The Diner stays open late on game nights and offers free onion rings if the Pirates win!!  The half-pound burgers are the best in Bristow and the grounded jalapeno burger has caused folks to carry their own Tums to the Diner!  President Obama’s hairstylist once ordered blackberry pie and decaf coffee from the Boomerang!!  True story!  swear!
*****High School Upset Special******
Hale 26 East Central 20
The Rangers upset the EC Cardinals for the first time in 32 years !!!  The Rangers and their star quarterback, running back and kick holder, DeAgelo Washington scored a late touchdown to defeat the Cardinals!!

Owasso 36 Fayetteville 27
The Rams play their second team from Arkansas in a row!!  Coach Blankenship called an excellent game, said a perfect prayer and made sure each student-athlete under his command got the most possible out of his or her ability!!  Owasso’s talented offense was lead by QB Jr. Jay Porter transfer from Broken  Arrow and Sr. QB Cole Dugger transfer from Collinsville!!
Tonkawa 35 at Newkirk 18
Tonkawa went on the road to defeat Newkirk!!  Newkirk Tigers home field advantage was moved to the middle school field after numerous ant hills took over the high school field!!

Wagoner 25 at Coweta 20
These rivals are about as huge a rivalry as rivals can rival each other!!  The 4A Wagoner Bulldogs and the 5A Coweta Tigers always put on a down-home display of fight similar to the Hatfields and the McCoys!!  The game was played at Coweta’s beautiful stadium and in front of numerous rabid Tiger fans who had stayed in line all night to get first row seats on the hay bales around the endzone's!!
FOS Bobbleheads:

Jenks 2nd Grade Maroon 36 at Westmore 6
Really folks, are we traveling 2 hours down the Turnpike to whip the Westmore in second-grade football?  On a serious note the Jenks team left their Center Junior Buckertrotter at the Worlds Largest McDonalds πŸ”  near Stroud!!  They went back and picked up little Junior but were 20 minutes late to weigh in!!  Little Junior did not play due to stomach problems after eating 3 Big Macs while waiting!!
Pryor 3rd Grade 24 at Tahlequah, Sequoya 6
The Pryor team romped through a huge win at Tahlequah!!  Immediately after the postgame press conference Pryor headed to the Tahlequahs KTK Angus Steakhouse for the coaches to try their world-renowned Porterhouse 24-ounce steak and loaded baked potato special!!  The youngsters ordered the Buffalo Burgers with double cheese fries!!The team moms ordered 20 Kale salads with Appletinis!!
Bixby 4th Grade White 20  Jenks White 12
Two teams with winning 2nd and 3rd-grade traditions meet at the Bixby stadium in front of a crowd size in the hundreds!!  Local Tulsa World youth sports writer, Guerin Emig, arrived early to meet and interview players and coaches about the huge tradition of these young farts!!  The TV crews from 2,6,8 and local Fox were there for live-action feeds and interviews!!  Parents of players from both schools were emotional as their kids were introduced before the game!!  Tears were flowing everywhere!!

FOS NFL Picks:

Browns 34 Titans 24
First game with the Dawg Pound new puppy Odell Beckham!!  Baker Mayfield to Beckham for 6 will be a phrase used twice today and many times during the 2019 season!!  Baker and Mayfield sounds like a Cleveland law firm but what they did to the Titans was completely legal!!
Chiefs 28 at Jaguars 24
Chiefs QB Patrick Mahomes completed one pass behind his back, completed one pass with his left hand, one pass-through his legs and one no-look pass with his helmet on backward!!  The other 18 passes he completed with a normal cannon throwing motion of his right arm!!
Cowboys 33 Giants 17
Dallas Cowboys played their first game against the New York Giants and their injury-riddled wide receivers!!  The Giants and their elder QB Eli Manning have one of the top running backs in the NFL in Shaquon Barkley who ran for 105 yards and caught 7 passes for 88 yards of Eli Manning’s 206 yards passing!!  The Cowboys well paid QB, Dax Prescott threw for 267 yards 3 touchdowns and no interceptions!!
Cardinals 31 Lions 28
Cardinals Rookie QB Kyler Murray threw and ran for 390 yards and 3 touchdowns in his NFL debut!!  Kyler arrived at the game 4 hours early and was let into the Phoenix College Stadium by security who asked him who he was and frisked him to make sure he was an NFL QB!!  After a brief chuckle the two security guard, who we will call Andy and Barney, were immediately terminated and beat with a wet noodle!!

Raiders 27 Broncos 20
The Broncos veteran QB Joe Flacco did not have enough help from his receivers to complete the comeback in Los Angeles!!  Raider’s Coach John Gruden was very fired up with his QB Derek Carr ability to complete passes to the folks in the black and silver!!  Josh Jacobs rookie from Tulsa McClain ran for 101 yards!!

FOS MLB

Words of wisdom from the unwise one!!  Do not use ’Break Dancing’ as therapy for a stroke!!

Have a great sports week!!

FOS/B in T

Sponsors:

Andre Tourihno, Golf and Fitness Expert, Southern Hills
Colin Magruder, Mtg Broker, Evolve Bank
Speedling Inc., Leon Zinc III
Uncle Thurston, Dallas, Tx
Steve’s Happy Dog Home, Sherri Watson
Christina Morrill, United Country Landrum Realty, Inc. 
Chris Taylor, sports writer FanSided
Bob’s Bail Bonds and Car Wash (Chicago, IL)
Big Brother Bill’s Psychic Palm Reading and Bed & Breakfast (Tulsa, OK)
MR Bait, Fishing Tackle and Homemade Fudge Shop (Boulder, CO)
Weh’s Wiener Wagon and Dry Cleaners, Lawrence, Kansas
T-Brew’s Cockroach Farm and Pizza Palace, Tulsa, OK
Dr. Richard Stephens DDS
Roy Thomason Retired

1 comment:

R in D said...

The pictures are a great addition for those of us who are literally challenged.