FOS/B in T
FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM
Tulsa University Was Once Told That Arkansas Will Play Football Here When Pigs Fly!! In 2027 Watch Out For Pig Poop Falling Down From The Sky!!
FOS/B in T Heisman Projections:
- Jalen Hurts - QB Oklahoma
- Tua Tagluvaloa - QB Alabama
- Chuba Cabre Hubbard - RB Oklahoma State
- Jonathon Taylor - RB Wisconsin
- Trevor Lawrence - QB Clemson
- Beyonce Cofurmyhair - Personal Hair Stylist for Trevor Lawrence
FOS notes ’bout nuthin:
Boccia Ball Team Tournament at The Center for Individuals with Physical Challenges Friday the 27th of September!!
Why go?
*It's FREE
*See some of the best players in America!
*Teams with such Players as ’Janice Thunder’, ’Sherri Ass Kicker’, ’Gary Huff a Puffer’, ’Ron World Champion’, ’Jeanie Killer Froggetta’, ’Bryan Whiner Baby’,
*Free Air conditioning
*Meet B in T! . Who?
*Free Boccia Seminar by 2018 Bochia Co-coaches of the Year ’David Cheif Lover’, and,’Geoge Hush Bryan’!!
FOS College Picks:
Oklahoma 48 at UCLA 23
Numerous west coast tanned, preppy, yuppies have been smacking their yappers saying the Sooners are overrated and should take their hick butts back to the log cabins of Norman!! First of all, the only sports that the Bruins are good at are rowing, tanning, and surfing!! Second of all the after the Sooners run roughshod over the football baby blue boys of tinsel town, they will get a phone number of every single UCLA cheerleader on campus!! Plus kicking their butts on their own football field!!
Oklahoma State 38 Tulsa 28
TU and OSU parties were everywhere Friday night, Saturday before the game and Saturday after the game!! When you're my age, it is usually good to watch this game somewhat shmammered!! For Mrs. B in T and myself, two shots of tequila should be plenty!! In my TU college days, a pony keg would suffice!! Other helpful hints for OSU and TU fans:
- The men’s rooms at Chapman Stadium are small and the toilets are trough-like and your shoes or sandals can be warmly winky-tinked on!
- Take the shuttles, when parking!! If you live in the Florence Park area sit and drink in your front yard with your TU and OSU friends!! Then when close to 45 minutes to kick-off find a Party Bus heading to the old F&M Bank parking lot, have a cute youthful young lady lay in the street and flag down the shuttle!! When the Party Bus stops have your entire yard tailgate party of 15 to 20 get into the shuttle!! Don't forget the girl faking injury!! This works, I know from experience!
- OSU alums, do NOT try to sneak a keg into Chapman Stadium! TU alums, do NOT try to sneak a bong into Chapman Stadium!!
- OSU Alums, don't act you won the National Title if you beat TU!! Remember that TU is the smallest Division 1A school with a 2019 attendance of 3,456!! Also, Jenks and Union High Schools have larger Athletic Budgets than TU!!
- TU Alums, do not tear down the goal post when OSU is defeated by your Golden Hurricane!! The last time the Chapman Stadium goal posts were taken down, the EOOC Doctors were called to help the AARP folks with back injuries!! Stay in your lane TU alums!! Stay in your lane bro!!
Great game by both teams! OSU QB Spencer Sanders threw 3 touchdowns to All-American Tylan Wallace. TU linebacker Cooper Edminston had 13 tackles and 2 passes batted down!!
Arkansas 41 Colorado State 22
The Razorbacks coasted to a victory against a very average Rams team!! Hog quarterback Starkel, with increased playing time, throws bullets in the second half to increase their lead!!
Washington State 42 at the Texas Advocare Texas Game vs Houston 38
I will make a very bold prediction that a Cougar team will win this game!! Coach Mike Leach comes back to Texas to play his old friend Coach Dana and show him the proper way to run an offense!! The Houston defense has trouble stopping it's own scout team and they know the frickin’ plays!! Coach Leach has a super pre-game speech, where he tells his squad that aliens are getting ready to land at the Houston, Texas NRG Stadium and destroy the WORLD!! The Washington State Cougars were stoked out of their minds and rushed the field to play football!!
Mississippi State 31 Kansas State 16
Both teams have major college defenses but the Wildcats need to work on the offense!! New Kansas State Coach Chris Klieman, has gone from the North Dakota State Bisons to a Wildcat team in the middle of a high Octane Big 12 offenses!! The temperature in midwest Manhattan is balmy compared to Fargo land!! Mississippi State lost defensive leader Montez Sweat to the NFL along with 2 linebackers and 3 defensive backs!! Bulldog defense is still laden with talent and stalled the Wildcat offense and QB Skylar Thomas!!
West Virginia 45 North Carolina State 32
The Mountaineers defense led by Dante Stills has improved and Sooner Grad-Transfer Quarterback Austin Kendall can really run Neil Brown offense!! State’s cute wolf-dog mascot, Tuffy, popped a squat on the foot of the Daniel Boone looking Mountaineer mascot!! Upon the placement of increments on the Mountaineers boot, he inadvertently shot his Musket and caused a West Virginia team manager’s eardrum to be damaged! The game continued!
Iowa State 31 Iowa 23
ESPN GAME-DAY IN AMES? WHY? SNOW IS EXPECTED SATURDAY!!
The Iowa Hawkeyes grow prototypical tight ends like Iowa farmers grow corn and vote for Trump!! The Iowa offensive sets were would play 4 or 5 tight ends frequently against the confused Clone defense! Cyclone wide receiver DeShante Jones did some damage to the Hawkeye defense with clutch receptions from QB Brock Purdy!!
Arizona 37 Texas Tech 28
The main difference in this big nonconference game was the QB play of Khalil Tate with the Wildcats!! Tate was injury-prone last year but looked 23 for 30 with 3 touchdowns and 1 interception good for the Red-Raider D’!! New Tech coach, Matt Wells, is still getting acquainted with the high paced offenses of the Big 12 by playing Arizona!! Kevin Sumlin can coach, but can he coach talent, and that seems to be the big question?!?! Maybe Coach Wells needs skinny jeans like his predecessor!!
Penn State 43 Pittsburg 21
The Nittany Lions have gone way outside the box and changed their white pants to off white!! Still the most boring jerseys in the history of football lore!! Penn State QB Sean Clifford replaces McSorley and looked good against in-state rivalry Pittsburg Panthers!!
UCF 41 Stanford 31
UCF played like they should be the power 5 school, not the Stanford Cardinals!!
Florida 34 at Kentucky 27
Florida Quarterback Feleipe Franks showed good leadership and accuracy in the second half!! Florida coach Stoops could be under some heat, even after a strong 2018 season! Stoops still has a long season to go but Kentucky boosters will have their eyes looking for Tubby Smith to come back!! Wait..........my bad, wrong sport!!
*******FOS UPSET SPECIAL*********
TCU 41 at Purdue 31
The Horny Frogs and freshman QB Max Duggan made the upstart Boilermakers of the Big 10 look confused and very average!! Frog Coach Patterson’s defensive team speed made the Boilermaker’s look slower than a constipated turtle!!
FOS High School Picks:
BTW 37 Bentonville, Ark. Tigers 28
Booker T is walking over the Arkansas state teams and setting its eyes on the 6AII!! BTW sophomore QB, Gentry Williams, needs to add some weight but that is not keeping him from being spectacular and collecting scholarship offers from college biggies like Alabama and Oklahoma!!
Jenks 37 Union 33
Here it is folks, the best high school game in the entire world!! Two communities battling for bragging rights for the next year!! Media credentials were handed out to, ESPN the Magazine, Fox Sports Southwest, VYPE the Magazine, all local sports TV folks, and of course, B in T/Faked Out Sports!! At halftime, both Athletic Directors were interviewed by Cox Cable’s Rod Thompson!! Each A.D. talked about next year's 500 million dollar bond issue for a brand new domed stadium!!! The A.D.’s have both agreed to take two grand from the approved bond issue to use for the new orange safety belts for the crossing guards of each school! This was a tremendous gesture to show that sports are not everything to these schools!! Hehehehe!!
Broken Arrow 38 Owasso 30
The Tigers have a very talented team and the Rams have just as much talent!! A small skirmish started and ended with a dance-off at halftime between some booster club folks from both sides!! The B.A. and Owasso Booster Club dance was very similar to the Channing Tatum/ Jenna Dewan dance-off in Step Up !! Channing and Jenna later were married in real life with 4 lovely children!! So watch out for a love 💕story after the Owasso and Broken Arrow dance-off rumble!!!
Cushing 38 Perkins-Tryon 16
Perkins-Tryon is not a new a Lawn Mower manufacturer, it is, in fact, two schools from two towns, Perkins and Tryon! The Cushing Tigers offensive line dominated the smaller Demon defense!! My nephew Senior OG Lukus, I believe, had 8 pancake blocks which makes sense after eating 8 pieces of bacon and 8 fluffy buttermilk pancakes for breakfast!! Sophomore Caleb played 5 plays and did not get his jersey or hair messed up one bit!!
FOS Mom-0-Meter Perkins-Tryon Mom's...988 Cushing Moms .977
Award-winning Super Cushing mom Christina, was noticeably upset when she was disqualified from the deviled egg contest!! Evidently, a judge from Perry was very critical of Christina for putting marijuana seeds in her deviled eggs!! The Perry judge had the audacity to eat 8 of her deviled eggs!! This controversy is getting serious national attention such as 60 Minutes and 48 Hours (’The Devil Is In The Egg’ 48 Hours Series!) True story!!
FOS Diner of the week: Cushing
Mexi Hut- 1108 S. Main St. The Cushing football team swears this place has the best Bean, Jalapeno Chimichangas made this side of Mexico!! The Cushing Booster Club loves the Mexi Hut Sangaria Frozen Margaritas!! In fact after a two hour Wednesday night Booster Club meeting a number of members were caught on main street in their undergarments wearing Sombreros!!
Very true story!! Cushing's finest drove the Club members home, with Sombreros covering certain parts!!
Blackwell 26 Newkirk 20
Blackwell is 4A and Newkirk is 2A, this due to their proximity to each other they play football against each other!! Newkirk and Blackwell both have about 35 kids go out for football each year, and about 25 finish the year. Each year these 2 teams, that are located smack dab in the wheat belt of Oklahoma, play for the Loaf Trophy which is kept at the winner's school!! The Trophy commemorates the first loaf of bread made each year from a Blackwell or Newkirk farm!! Google Loaf Tropy!! I dare ya!
OKC McGinnis 26 Bishop Kelley 23
The Comets travel all the way to OKC to play the McGinnis team that is top-ranked in 4A!! This is a heated rivalry between the two Catholic private schools!! As the teams ran onto the field for the opening kickoff they started to push and shove each other until the head priest from each school quietly entered the field!! At that point all the players from both sides hugged and prayed for s clean and safe game!! The the game started and the battles continued!
Tonkawa 31 at NOAH Home School 26
Tonkawa comes to T town and brings B in T cousin Kelly and her Tonkawa Buccaneers mascot outfit!! Her husband, Charley, is the Public Address announcer for Tonkawa home games!! The Northeastern Oklahoma Association of Homeschooling (NOAH) Jaguars will give Tonkawa their biggest test all year!! Big road win for the Buccaneers!! We got a lot of stares from the south Tulsa crowd as we had dinner with our Buccaneer cousins from Tonkawa after the game!
FOS NFL Picks:
Cowboys 31 at Redskins 27
The Cowboys Junior Owner and Jerry’s son, Steve Jones states that his dad has been highly stressed and wants Steve to answer all questions at media press conferences!! If a media member is inclined to ask Jerry a question regarding the team please put it in large print writing and give him 3 days to respond in a comprehensive manner!! Big road win for the Cowboys!!
Ravens 35 Cardinals 23
The Ravens defense put it's claws into the Coach Kliff Skinny Jeans spread offense!! Cardinal fans need to remind their coach ”that they ain't playing the Kansas Jayhawks anymore, bro!!!
Chiefs 27 at Raiders 21
The Chiefs QB Mahones is so accurate with his passes that scrambling against the Raiders he had a complete conversation with Coach Gruden about good Mexican restaurants in the area!! True story!!
Broncos 28 Bears 27
The Broncos and their elder, maturing defense had a last-minute sack and fumble recovery to seal the victory!! After the game, Denver veterans DB Chris Harris and DE Von Miller consoled Bear QB Mitch Trubinsky and offered him a shoulder to cry on and a big boy cigar!!
Browns 34 at Jets 26
Baker and the boys have a big road win against the Jets!! The New York fans and media were more interested in Mr. Mayfield than their own team!! The Jets fans and media were lined up for autographs from the ex OU quarterback!! Mayfield and Odell Beckham Jr. were good for 7 catches, 134 yards, 2 one-handed catches, and 2 touchdowns!!
Texans 24 Jaguars 16
The Texans defense and QB Deshaun Watson were dominant in doing what they do best: Rushing the QB and Deshaun tucking the pigskin and running then sliding!!
FOS Bobbleheads:
Jenks Maroon 2nd Grade 14 Bixby 8
The Jenks men of 2nd grade have their own giant blow-up Jenks Football helmet AND a new fog machine! The little fellas became very confused as they were stuck in the blow-up helmet while the fog machine was set on high fog and caused some dizziness with the Trojans!
Pryor 3rd Grade 22 Lincoln Christion 6
The game was played in Pryor and was delayed when the Lincoln Christian’s 3rd-grade team bus ran over a family of skunks (the skunks survived but were scared sprayless) causing the entire bus to be fumigated!! Reverend Willie George led the stadium with a short sermon and prayer once the stinky bus arrived!! The Pryor team was very upset that their team did not have a team bus!$$$ So the Pryor parents, led by Mr. and Mrs. Taylor, started a bus fundraiser!! Each little Tiger must-sell 2000 dollars worth of sausage and chicken$$!! If not, the parents are responsible for the shortfalls!$! Call Chris at 1-000-EAT-PORK!
Bixby 4th Grade White 18 at Broken Arrow Platinum 6
The Spartan 4th Grade had Varsity coach Loren Montgomery visiting BA to scout some young athletes!! The Bixby parents all sat by coach and had numerous phone pics to show coach Loren!! So many picks that he hid in the second half in the Broken Arrow section!
MLB:
Cardinals are for REAL!
National League is the Dodgers to lose!
Yankees not going to series, Astros are team to beat!! Pitching beats hitting in a 7 game series!!
Words of wisdom from the unwise one: What do you look for when trying to find Scooby Dooby?? Scooby Dooby Dooky!!
Have a great sports week!!
Sponsors:
Andre Tourihno, Golf and Fitness Expert, Southern Hills
Colin Magruder, Mtg Broker, Evolve Bank
Speedling Inc., Leon Zinc III
Uncle Thurston, Dallas, Tx
Steve’s Happy Dog Home, Sherri Watson
Christina Morrill, United Country Landrum Realty, Inc.
Chris Taylor, sports writer FanSided
Bob’s Bail Bonds and Car Wash (Chicago, IL)
Big Brother Bill’s Psychic Palm Reading and Bed & Breakfast (Tulsa, OK)
MR Bait, Fishing Tackle and Homemade Fudge Shop (Boulder, CO)
Weh’s Wiener Wagon and Dry Cleaners, Lawrence, Kansas
T-Brew’s Cockroach Farm and Pizza Palace, Tulsa, OK
Dr. Richard Stephens DDS
Roy Thomason Retired Sigma Chi TU
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| B, in T |
1 comment:
"shorthorns" another heard it here first! I'm gonna use it all over Dallas. Xtra funny this week, good job bro.
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