Area Teams Searching for Bowls!

Bryan in Tulsa

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Mrs. B in T Helpful Hints:

Halloween Leftovers!

Candy can freeze surprisingly well, so you can save some of your Halloween spoils and  stretch the fricking calories over time!!  And if you've never tried a frozen Twix, Snickers, or peanut butter cup, you're in for an amazing treat!!  Do not freeze Papi's brownies!! Heavenly stuff and the calories freeze away!!  No Shat!!  

New Sport created after Tenessee upset of ‘Bama!!

NUDE GOALPOST RIDING

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As predicted by swami B in T, 

Auburn coach sent packing:

Who is next for the Tigers:

1. Lane Kiffin head coach - Ole Miss- cute, cuddly, and mentioned for all college openings!
2. Like Meach head coach - Mississippi State - great for post-game rhetoric!  Note:  Also, Mississippi State Athletic Director was hired by Auburn a few days ago!!  Hmmmmmm?
3. Lorne Montgomery head coach - Bixby - Lorne will bring 2 coaches and 5 players with him!
4. Bill O’Brien offensive coordinator of Alabama - another disciple of Grumpy Saban!
5. Prime Time Head Coach - Jackson State - no chance- .0014%
6. Urban Meyer Fox Game Day mannequin - no chance in he🏒🏒!(LL)-- .0010% 

BOBBLEHEAD SPORTS:

Another Bun in the Oven : 

Daughter Jordan and Super Son-in-Law Clark are having their 3rd child and Thank God we have another boy coming to help Gus battle all 5 female cousins!!  Congrats!!

B in T College Picks:

Oklahoma 38 Baylor 37

The Oklahoma/Venables/Roof defense rhetoric is starting to get stale!!  Almost as stale as my grandma Audoo's wheat toast that she would hide with butter!!  Yuk!  Now to the real problem!!  BV needs to be the fiery former Sooner and Clemson Tiger defensive coordinator he used to be!!  As the OU head dude, he is way too subdued!!  He used to spit out nails and hit the side judge in the neck, he would get in the face of a referee and spit his protein bar all over the poor fella while explaining what an idiot he is for making a call against his Sooners!!  Now, he is colm, with no excitement or ass-chewing, he pats his players on the head and tells them ‘atta boy’, in the good old days coach Venables would grab a defensive player by his facemask (ABC Primetime Saturday night game), and spin him around like a dog holding on to a play rag!!  If soft BV shows up OU loses by 14, if BV gets so mad his forehead veins pulsate, OU wins by 1!!

                          BV

Oklahoma State 34 at Kansas 21

The hospitality of the Jayhawk tailgate crews toward their guests from the south was amazing!!  A special giant jar of Jayhawk gummy bears was presented to the visiting OSU Posse Club!!  All 500 gummy bears were devoured within 30 minutes and neither side cared who won!!  Wood I lie!🤪

Tulsa 34 Tulane 30

Two years ago the Hurricane had a gargantuan game against Tulane, where a kid from Hominy single handily took Tulsa football for a ride!!

Not to relive the past but by gosh that was fun!!  Zaven Collins is now o stud with the Arizona Cardinals (leading tackler for the team!) and the Cane are looking for the next small-town Oklahoma diamond in the rough!!  Any little brothers Zaven?  

In the second half Tulsa plays the best half of football since the Ole Miss game, with QB Braylon Braxton  throwing 3 touchdowns in a wild 4th quarter and LB Justin Wright adding 10 tackles in the second half!!!  Immediately after the game Justin Wright signed a NIL deal worth Justin Boots worth one Justin Rattlesnake pair of boots every 90 days he plays football at Tulsa!

Wood I lie?🤪

USC 42 California 31

The ticker tape parade for the USC football team after they win the National Title has been signed to a deal with Shakira!!  Can't wait!🤮🤮🤮  Settle down Southern Cal Nation, it ain't happening!!  Breath slowly, go buy an electric car, RELAX!

Kansas State 30 Texas 20

Both teams are reeling after spending weeks celebrating their wins over Oklahoma!  Then, one must ask themselves are these teams good, or are the Sooner's pretenders.....but actually, 🤪who knows?!?!?  K-State is Wildcat strong!

Illinois 42 Michigan State 24

Like the entire Big 10 and some DII schools, no one fears the Spartans of Lancing!!  The Spartans of Bixby douse more fear on opponents than the other Spartans!!  Illinois running back Chase Brown is the best in college football and only has a 2500 dollar NIL deal with Goodyear Tire

Champaign!

Arkansas 49 Liberty 35

Liberty is ranked and Arkansas is favored by 14!  Don't drink the Razorback bong water Liberty is good Hog fans!!  Liberty coach Hugh Freeze and old Batman nemesis Mr. Freeze 

are both about to get their their salaries frozen with a long-term deal from the Liberty trustees!!  The much-maligned Razorback secondary has three picks!!  Star Razorback corner Myles Slusher had an interception, 7 tackles, 1 sack, and 2 new NIL deals!!  Chevrolet of Fayetteville (new Tahoe for campus use only) and Uptown Kitchen and Ice House(free food for 3 appearances) really appreciate Mr. Myles Slusher!!The home cook food  reminds him of momma Slusher’s!!

Iowa State 31 West Virginia 21 

The winner of this game is a sure bet to make the reborn Humanitarian Bowl which has been moved from Boise, Idaho to Barrow, Alaska!

Nebraska 31 Minnesota 28

The Frostless Cornhuskers are rejuvenated!!  Mark in Tulsa and the Tulsa Husker Club have put in their vote for the next Husker coach, Prime Time, Jackson State!!

TCU 42 Texas Tech 24

A few years ago TCU was so bad that its fans screwed up tearing down the goalpost, primarily because Tarrant County deputies used pepper spray to detour giddy fans from ripping it down!  Currently, the team is at 10-0, and there is a groundswell of fans that are planning to tear down the goalposts!!  A TCU mechanical engineer has agreed to bring a giant magnet to pull down the posts in a safely organized pull-down!  Also good for the ecosystem!  🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪

TCU QB Dugan, who resembles Doogie Howser, had another super performance with 3 TDs and 422 yds passing!

🦃🦃🦃Upset Special🦃🦃🦃

Notre Dame 31 Clemson 24

I know, I know, The Dame beating Clemson is not a mind-blowing upset but have you watched the Irish play lately?  The new freshmen that had to tryout to make the Gold Domers which is a group of ten young men that must shine the player helmets for 24 hours straight before each game!!  True stuff!!  Two members were expelled last week when they were caught on locker room cameras using another over-the-counter helmet cleaner instead of the contracted Home Depot brand!!  

Proposed New ND Helmet

B in T High School Picks:

Bixby 56 Jenks 27

Thursday ESPN College Game of the Week!!!

ESPN cameras are in Bixby to film the Thursday gameday preparation and the Spartans vs Trojans game!!  The Spartan moms were not happy with ESPN executive's late-hour-long commercials causing their young men to stay out late on a school night!!  Bixby Superintendent Miller graciously agreed to let the student's arrival times extend till 9:30 AM!!  Several Jenks boosters and alums were upset that coach Montgomery allowed the Jenks 4th string QB to kneel the ball twice and not score 60 points!!  A local Bixby dentist gave the ESPN TV crew free cleanings for life if the Spartans win!!  Great advertising and the ESPN crew will never set foot in Tulsa again anyhow!  A shrewd business move by the Bixby dental legend!!

OKC Millwood 63 Blackwell 8

Millwood’s linemen have better times in the 40-yard dash than some of Blackwell's backs!!

B in T Football Mom Meter

Blackwell Moms  .987

OKC Millwood Moms  .977

This super-close event was decided by a Cornhole contest that used 1-day old dirty diapers instead of bean bags!!

The Maroon Moms were able to get more squishiness out of their diapers to seal the event!!

B in T Diner of the week:

Located close to the Millwood!

Sherri's Diner 

704 SW 59th, OKC

All three OKC Millwood Wood brothers once ate 2 steaks EACH in Sherri’s Diner!!  All super athletes from OC had a cup of tea in the NFL!!  The Gluten Free Chicken Fried Steak is the best in the state!!

Cascia Hall 46 Dewey 13

The Bulldoggers are a breed of dog in England that is stockier than the average American Bulldog!!  The dogs are used to herd bulls!!  The Dewey Bulldoggers were corralled by the Commandos!

Cushing 55 at Skiatook 14

Cushing graciously, with the approval of the OSSAA, allowed Skiatook to use the Tiger’s backup kicker!!  Cushing Sophomore kicker Shelly Spankster made two extra points for Skiatook and then attended the Cushing Senior Prom!

Tonkawa 45 Woodland 31

This game had media credentials handed out to every county in Oklahoma AND also Barber, Catbird and Hooterville Counties in Kansas!!  The game was delayed 30 minutes to let the overflow crowd in the bleachers, with 400 extra lawn chairs!!  

Union 42 at Edmond North 4

Yes the Union D scored two safeties by scaring the Edmond North QB out of the back of the endzone!!

College recruiters were told by the Union coaching staff they will have to start paying for their own admission tickets and concessions due to the 396 college scouts that cost the school 12,345 dollars in food and admission last Friday night!!

B in T NFL Picks:

Texans 28 Eagles 17

Texans win ugly with 2 pick-sixes by defensive lineman!

Chiefs 38 Titans 28

KC QB Mahomes and head coach Andy Reid take a Sunday game day off for a commercial shoot with State Farm!!  The Chiefs still won and covered!

Bears 27 Dolphins 24

The Bears continued to break field goal records by kicking 9 FGs including 2 60-plus kicks by Cookie Crum from Tulsa University!

               Cookie

Cardinals 31 Seahawks 17

The Kingsbury gimmick offense was just gimmicky enough to win against the hapless Seahawks!

Have a great sports week!

Bryan in Tulsa

by B in T - FakedOutSports, syndicated in SoonerPolitics.org

B, in T

Sponsors: Andre Tourihno, Golf and Fitness Expert, Southern Hills Colin Magruder, Mtg Broker, Evolve Bank Speedling Inc., Leon Zinc III Uncle Thurston, Dallas, Tx Steve’s Happy Dog Home, Sherri Watson & Christina Morrill, United Country Landrum Realty, Inc. Chris Taylor, sports writer FanSided

Bob’s Bail Bonds and Car Wash (Chicago, IL) Big Brother Bill’s Psychic Palm Reading and Bed & Breakfast (Tulsa, OK) MR Bait, Fishing Tackle and Homemade Fudge Shop (Boulder, CO) Weh’s Wiener Wagon and Dry Cleaners, Lawrence, Kansas T-Brew’s Cockroach Farm and Pizza Palace, Tulsa, OK Dr. Richard Stephens DDS Roy Thomason Retired Sigma Chi TU

Watch for Trick or Treaters and Alligators!!

Bryan in Tulsa

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Relax, Don't Fret Sooner Nation!

The entire Sooner Nation fan base has just entered the transfer portal, destination:  Oklahoma Thunder Basketball, Oklahoma State or TU football (never), Tulsa Ballet Theatre holiday season tickets, watch a movie, talk to the wife with no TV, sit on the back patio and listen to 104.5 The Edge with 2 brownies AND simply enjoy life without the Sooners!! ..until next week!!.........hahaha-hehehe!🏈🏈🏈🏈🏈

FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

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Happy University of Tulsa Homecoming 2022!!  The young man below’s Dad and Papi are both TU alums (only one lettered)!  The future looks bright!!

The B in T Golden Hurricane team may struggle this year but the memories will be in this blog!  Here is to college basketball 🏀 season 🍺🍺🍺🍷🍷🍷!!

Bobblehead Sports:

B IN T TRICK-OR-TREAT RULES:

Safety First

You and your family can have a fun and spooky night of trick-or-treating if you keep a few general things in mind to stay safe, for instance:

• Walk — don’t run — from house to house using sidewalks when possible
• Be aware of and avoid open flames like candles in jack-o'-lanterns
• Avoid homemade treats and only eat factory-wrapped candy!
• Remove your child’s makeup soon after trick-or-treating to avoid skin irritation!
• Children under 12 should have an adult along to supervise.
• If a child is old enough to trick-or-treat without an adult, he or she should still go with a group of friends and they should stick to familiar houses and neighborhoods!
• If you have a group of older children heading out alone, consider turning on a mobile tracker app so you can follow their progress from home!
• If your kids are going out on their own, set up a timeline expectation. For instance, have the kids check in at specific times throughout the night and set a curfew!
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• Additional Bryan in Tulsa Recommendations:
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•   1. Never have chocolate smeared all over your face and tell mom you have not had any candy yet!  Not smart little Minion!

•   2.  Don't leave the old bong paraphernalia around the living room while handing out Halloween candy!
•    3.   Don't eat more candy than you hand out!
•    4.   When handing out candy at Grandkids' houses, stay mindful that they have little Cameras that can spy on Grandpas while they babysit or hand out candy!!👀👀 

B in T College Picks:

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Iowa State 28 Oklahoma 21

Iowa State homecoming standing-room-only crowd watched the FOX 11 AM game of the week!  In the first quarter of 19-degree weather and 13 inches of snowfall, Jack Trice Stadium was packed with 60,000 Clone fans looking like red and yellow popsicles!!  And amid the chill of the freezing snow, Clone Nation was mixing drinks of 75% moonshine, 15% tequila, and 10% orange juice for the 7 am tailgate breakfast!!  OU did not bring their neon red parkas and frostbite may have played a factor!! Clone offense out bores the Sooners by 7 points!!

                          BV

Kansas State 38 Oklahoma State 35

Great game, great fans and in a show of sportsmanship both sides' fans hugged each other after the slugfest!  Coach Gundy was so upset with the no-call pass interference call against OSU superstar Braelyn Pressley wideout, that he did not sing the Alma mater with the team after the game!!  Tragic move by the shrewd but emotional former Mullet Man!!

Tulsa 36 SMU 31

True story:  A great game was only topped by an incident after the game at the Polo Grill at, you guessed it, Utica Square!!  The Pony Club of elite SMU donors had a private table in the Tiki room at the Polo Grill for the after game party!!  The new TU up-and-comers alumni group of 25 to 35-year-olds were sitting at a private table at The Polo Grill as well!!  The TU old-school yuppies decided to start singing the TU fight song followed by a well-pitched rendition of Chicago’s 25 or 6 to 4!!  The Pony Club THEN stood up and sang a 70s rendition of Riding the Storm Out by REO Speedwagon in acapella!!  Yes it is official, this was the first-ever alma mater sing-off ever between TU and SMU alums!!  At Utica Square!!

Both team alums had a great time drinking and hugging the waitresses!!  and waiters too!!

Texas A&M 28 0le Miss 27

The A&M Defense held up at the end and blocked an 8-yard field goal!!

Illinois 38 at Nebraska 21

Illinois is the new all-electric car in the Big 10, sleek, economical, eco-friendly, and can charge up at any AKO Campsite!!  Illinois, Georgia, Ohio State and Alabama are my new pick for the final 4!!  Yes u heard it here first!

Arkansas 24 at Auburn 20

Auburn looks like the only other road team that the Piglets are going to be able to defeat this year!!  With the dead man-walking Auburn coach currently hiding in West Antarctica, the Tigers may fall into the same ill-fated no wins for the remainder of the season bucket as our beloved Sooners!

Boston College 31 at UConn 21

The Uconn Huskies were formerly in the same conference as the Tulsa University Golden Hurricane but after a 21-59 record in the American Athletic Conference the smarter minds of the Uconn Athletic Department (sarcasm belongs here) decided to move to the stronger and more prestigious Atlantic Coast Conference where Uconn will never win a conference game EVER!!

B in T High School Picks:

Cascia Hall 38 at Inola 6

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Pumpkin Man was spotted in Inola for the Cascia Hall football game!!  The Man of Pumpkin handed out thousands of magical cupcakes to the Inola Longhorn fans who had no clue that their football team was being demolished by the Cascia Hall Commandos!!  Thanks for those Treats, Pumpkin Man!!   

B in T Mom O Meter

Inola Moms .960

Cascia Moms .955

The final event, although somewhat controversial, pitted the Inola moms against the Cascia moms in the Pumpkin 🎃 Chunking contest!!  The Inola moms have a two million dollar grant from the Tulsa Pumpkin Town to develop Punkin Chunking equipment!!

So the final win with a chunk of 4 football fields were the Inola moms, the Cascia Hall toss did not register on the pumpkin toss scale!!

See below:

Inola

Cascia Hall

B in T Diner of the Week:

Pops and Gigi’s

99 Commercial St.

Inola, OK 74141

Pops and Gigi's atomic chili cheese fries with Ghost Peppers are said to be the best fries since Eskimo Joe was a baby!!  Snoop Dogs’ tour bus stopped by Inola’s Pops for the atomic chili cheese fries this June on their way to inspect some of his 100 cannabis shops Oklahoma!!

Bixby 52 at Moore 21

What seemed to be a close game between the East power Bixby and the Moore Lions ended up a route when the Moore team realized they were outmatched on the football field and the sideline pom pon dance routine that brought a standing ovation from both sides!!  The Spartan cheer squad did in it's entirety, the broadway rendition of ‘Cats’ at halftime!!  This of course outdid the Moore cheer squad and its rendition of Cat Scratch Fever by Theodore Nugent III, or Ted Nugent for those in the NRA world!!

Union 48 Edmond Memorial 6

The Union linebacker NIL (Name, Image, and likeness) monies have grown to $250,000 due to Braylen Irvin Fisher’s picture in VYPE football magazine of him bench-pressing 2 Jackie Cooper 2023 7 series auto!!

Google it!!

Jenks 42 Broken Arrow 35

Jenks is still hiding in the background to pounce when Bixby or Union mess up!!

Bishop Kelley 60 Nathan Hale 6

Bishop Kelley and Nathan Hale played each other for the first time since the nude javelin throws in the 150 AD Olympics!!

Tonkawa 46 Chelsea 12

The Tonkawa Elks Club President, also Mrs. B in T’s cousin-in-law Charlie, entertained the halftime crowd by playing Chicago’s 70s hit 25 or 6 to 4 on his electric accordion!!  Thanks to our cousin-in-law Charlie and the 100 Tonkawa hats he dons!!   Below are my Tonkawa family and B in T Tonkawa Correspondents!!

Newkirk 36 at Blackwell 24

Blackwell's parents will no longer supply the team after-game Godfathers Pizza until they win a game!!  They WILL supply the opposing team Godfathers Pizza with party favors!

Cushing 52 Oolagah 14

Mike 🙏🎃❤️

The Cushing public schools were given a stiff warning for allowing their halftime show to go 2 minutes over the mandatorily required state maximum of 12 minutes and 30 seconds!!  According to the numbers from my staff, 2 minutes of delay in deer hunting season, with 1,000 loaded guns AND a game delay of 2 minutes is equivalent to a small 4-horned deer, so no harm!!  The 200$ hunting fine was paid by the Cushing FFA, showing their support hunting in Oklahoma!! Cushing folks take deer season seriously, football too!!

B in T NFL Picks:

Cowboys 31 Bears 9

The Bears had to use their backup field goal kicker from Norway named Franz Dicker the kicker!!  He was discovered with the Russian dance team last year at the Russian Nutcracker performance!!  He once kicked a toy Nutcracker 60 yards!!  Dickey was signed immediately!!  He missed a 30-yard field goal but nailed a 61 harder!!  The Bears still have not scored a touchdown by their offense since the arrival of Pumpkin Man!

Cardinals 32 at Vikings 27

The leash for skinny jeans coach Kliff Kingsbury is short, I personally think Zaven Collins from TU should be the next coach, or maybe the ex-TUer Lovie Smith with Houston Texans!!  Definitely a TU homer call!!

Have a great sports week!

B in T

by B in T - FakedOutSportSoonerPolitics.org

B, in T

Sponsors: Andre Tourihno, Golf and Fitness Expert, Southern Hills Colin Magruder, Mtg Broker, Evolve Bank Speedling Inc., Leon Zinc III Uncle Thurston, Dallas, Tx Steve’s Happy Dog Home, Sherri Watson & Christina Morrill, United Country Landrum Realty, Inc. Chris Taylor, sports writer FanSided

Bob’s Bail Bonds and Car Wash (Chicago, IL) Big Brother Bill’s Psychic Palm Reading and Bed & Breakfast (Tulsa, OK) MR Bait, Fishing Tackle and Homemade Fudge Shop (Boulder, CO) Weh’s Wiener Wagon and Dry Cleaners, Lawrence, Kansas T-Brew’s Cockroach Farm and Pizza Palace, Tulsa, OK Dr. Richard Stephens DDS Roy Thomason Retired Sigma Chi TU