Bryan in Tulsa
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Mrs. B in T Helpful Hints:
Halloween Leftovers!
Candy can freeze surprisingly well, so you can save some of your Halloween spoils and stretch the fricking calories over time!! And if you've never tried a frozen Twix, Snickers, or peanut butter cup, you're in for an amazing treat!! Do not freeze Papi's brownies!! Heavenly stuff and the calories freeze away!! No Shat!!
New Sport created after Tenessee upset of ‘Bama!!
NUDE GOALPOST RIDING
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As predicted by swami B in T,
Auburn coach sent packing:
Who is next for the Tigers:
- Lane Kiffin head coach - Ole Miss- cute, cuddly, and mentioned for all college openings!
- Like Meach head coach - Mississippi State - great for post-game rhetoric! Note: Also, Mississippi State Athletic Director was hired by Auburn a few days ago!! Hmmmmmm?
- Lorne Montgomery head coach - Bixby - Lorne will bring 2 coaches and 5 players with him!
- Bill O’Brien offensive coordinator of Alabama - another disciple of Grumpy Saban!
- Prime Time Head Coach - Jackson State - no chance- .0014%
- Urban Meyer Fox Game Day mannequin - no chance in he🏒🏒!(LL)-- .0010%
BOBBLEHEAD SPORTS:
Another Bun in the Oven :
Daughter Jordan and Super Son-in-Law Clark are having their 3rd child and Thank God we have another boy coming to help Gus battle all 5 female cousins!! Congrats!!
B in T College Picks:
Oklahoma 38 Baylor 37
The Oklahoma/Venables/Roof defense rhetoric is starting to get stale!! Almost as stale as my grandma Audoo's wheat toast that she would hide with butter!! Yuk! Now to the real problem!! BV needs to be the fiery former Sooner and Clemson Tiger defensive coordinator he used to be!! As the OU head dude, he is way too subdued!! He used to spit out nails and hit the side judge in the neck, he would get in the face of a referee and spit his protein bar all over the poor fella while explaining what an idiot he is for making a call against his Sooners!! Now, he is colm, with no excitement or ass-chewing, he pats his players on the head and tells them ‘atta boy’, in the good old days coach Venables would grab a defensive player by his facemask (ABC Primetime Saturday night game), and spin him around like a dog holding on to a play rag!! If soft BV shows up OU loses by 14, if BV gets so mad his forehead veins pulsate, OU wins by 1!!
BV
Oklahoma State 34 at Kansas 21
The hospitality of the Jayhawk tailgate crews toward their guests from the south was amazing!! A special giant jar of Jayhawk gummy bears was presented to the visiting OSU Posse Club!! All 500 gummy bears were devoured within 30 minutes and neither side cared who won!! Wood I lie!🤪
Tulsa 34 Tulane 30
Two years ago the Hurricane had a gargantuan game against Tulane, where a kid from Hominy single handily took Tulsa football for a ride!!
Not to relive the past but by gosh that was fun!! Zaven Collins is now o stud with the Arizona Cardinals (leading tackler for the team!) and the Cane are looking for the next small-town Oklahoma diamond in the rough!! Any little brothers Zaven?
In the second half Tulsa plays the best half of football since the Ole Miss game, with QB Braylon Braxton throwing 3 touchdowns in a wild 4th quarter and LB Justin Wright adding 10 tackles in the second half!!! Immediately after the game Justin Wright signed a NIL deal worth Justin Boots worth one Justin Rattlesnake pair of boots every 90 days he plays football at Tulsa!
Wood I lie?🤪
USC 42 California 31
The ticker tape parade for the USC football team after they win the National Title has been signed to a deal with Shakira!! Can't wait!🤮🤮🤮 Settle down Southern Cal Nation, it ain't happening!! Breath slowly, go buy an electric car, RELAX!
Kansas State 30 Texas 20
Both teams are reeling after spending weeks celebrating their wins over Oklahoma! Then, one must ask themselves are these teams good, or are the Sooner's pretenders.....but actually, 🤪who knows?!?!? K-State is Wildcat strong!
Illinois 42 Michigan State 24
Like the entire Big 10 and some DII schools, no one fears the Spartans of Lancing!! The Spartans of Bixby douse more fear on opponents than the other Spartans!! Illinois running back Chase Brown is the best in college football and only has a 2500 dollar NIL deal with Goodyear Tire
Champaign!
Arkansas 49 Liberty 35
Liberty is ranked and Arkansas is favored by 14! Don't drink the Razorback bong water Liberty is good Hog fans!! Liberty coach Hugh Freeze and old Batman nemesis Mr. Freeze
are both about to get their their salaries frozen with a long-term deal from the Liberty trustees!! The much-maligned Razorback secondary has three picks!! Star Razorback corner Myles Slusher had an interception, 7 tackles, 1 sack, and 2 new NIL deals!! Chevrolet of Fayetteville (new Tahoe for campus use only) and Uptown Kitchen and Ice House(free food for 3 appearances) really appreciate Mr. Myles Slusher!!The home cook food reminds him of momma Slusher’s!!
Iowa State 31 West Virginia 21
The winner of this game is a sure bet to make the reborn Humanitarian Bowl which has been moved from Boise, Idaho to Barrow, Alaska!
Nebraska 31 Minnesota 28
The Frostless Cornhuskers are rejuvenated!! Mark in Tulsa and the Tulsa Husker Club have put in their vote for the next Husker coach, Prime Time, Jackson State!!
TCU 42 Texas Tech 24
A few years ago TCU was so bad that its fans screwed up tearing down the goalpost, primarily because Tarrant County deputies used pepper spray to detour giddy fans from ripping it down! Currently, the team is at 10-0, and there is a groundswell of fans that are planning to tear down the goalposts!! A TCU mechanical engineer has agreed to bring a giant magnet to pull down the posts in a safely organized pull-down! Also good for the ecosystem! 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪
TCU QB Dugan, who resembles Doogie Howser, had another super performance with 3 TDs and 422 yds passing!
🦃🦃🦃Upset Special🦃🦃🦃
Notre Dame 31 Clemson 24
I know, I know, The Dame beating Clemson is not a mind-blowing upset but have you watched the Irish play lately? The new freshmen that had to tryout to make the Gold Domers which is a group of ten young men that must shine the player helmets for 24 hours straight before each game!! True stuff!! Two members were expelled last week when they were caught on locker room cameras using another over-the-counter helmet cleaner instead of the contracted Home Depot brand!!
Proposed New ND Helmet
B in T High School Picks:
Bixby 56 Jenks 27
Thursday ESPN College Game of the Week!!!
ESPN cameras are in Bixby to film the Thursday gameday preparation and the Spartans vs Trojans game!! The Spartan moms were not happy with ESPN executive's late-hour-long commercials causing their young men to stay out late on a school night!! Bixby Superintendent Miller graciously agreed to let the student's arrival times extend till 9:30 AM!! Several Jenks boosters and alums were upset that coach Montgomery allowed the Jenks 4th string QB to kneel the ball twice and not score 60 points!! A local Bixby dentist gave the ESPN TV crew free cleanings for life if the Spartans win!! Great advertising and the ESPN crew will never set foot in Tulsa again anyhow! A shrewd business move by the Bixby dental legend!!
OKC Millwood 63 Blackwell 8
Millwood’s linemen have better times in the 40-yard dash than some of Blackwell's backs!!
B in T Football Mom Meter
Blackwell Moms .987
OKC Millwood Moms .977
This super-close event was decided by a Cornhole contest that used 1-day old dirty diapers instead of bean bags!!
The Maroon Moms were able to get more squishiness out of their diapers to seal the event!!
B in T Diner of the week:
Located close to the Millwood!
Sherri's Diner
704 SW 59th, OKC
All three OKC Millwood Wood brothers once ate 2 steaks EACH in Sherri’s Diner!! All super athletes from OC had a cup of tea in the NFL!! The Gluten Free Chicken Fried Steak is the best in the state!!
Cascia Hall 46 Dewey 13
The Bulldoggers are a breed of dog in England that is stockier than the average American Bulldog!! The dogs are used to herd bulls!! The Dewey Bulldoggers were corralled by the Commandos!
Cushing 55 at Skiatook 14
Cushing graciously, with the approval of the OSSAA, allowed Skiatook to use the Tiger’s backup kicker!! Cushing Sophomore kicker Shelly Spankster made two extra points for Skiatook and then attended the Cushing Senior Prom!
Tonkawa 45 Woodland 31
This game had media credentials handed out to every county in Oklahoma AND also Barber, Catbird and Hooterville Counties in Kansas!! The game was delayed 30 minutes to let the overflow crowd in the bleachers, with 400 extra lawn chairs!!
Union 42 at Edmond North 4
Yes the Union D scored two safeties by scaring the Edmond North QB out of the back of the endzone!!
College recruiters were told by the Union coaching staff they will have to start paying for their own admission tickets and concessions due to the 396 college scouts that cost the school 12,345 dollars in food and admission last Friday night!!
B in T NFL Picks:
Texans 28 Eagles 17
Texans win ugly with 2 pick-sixes by defensive lineman!
Chiefs 38 Titans 28
KC QB Mahomes and head coach Andy Reid take a Sunday game day off for a commercial shoot with State Farm!! The Chiefs still won and covered!
Bears 27 Dolphins 24
The Bears continued to break field goal records by kicking 9 FGs including 2 60-plus kicks by Cookie Crum from Tulsa University!
Cookie
Cardinals 31 Seahawks 17
The Kingsbury gimmick offense was just gimmicky enough to win against the hapless Seahawks!
Have a great sports week!
Bryan in Tulsa
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