Wednesday, December 16, 2020

Gus has a tough question!?




Faked Out Sports/ Bryan in Tulsa


FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM


soonerpolitics.org    


FOS Elf on the Shelf:    TAILGATING ELF!!!!

The E on the S will be traveling with the University of Tulsa to Cincinnati for the American Athletic Championship this week!!  Several Tulsa football players met the famous Tulsa E on the S at the Target Superstore toy aisle Wednesday before their trip to Bearcat Stadium!!  The players invited the little fella on the trip for all the peppermint licorice he could eat!!  He accepted and the Golden Hurricane were ecstatic that this Christmas Elf was attending his first football game with TU in Cincinnati!!  And the Elf’s first coronavirus tailgate and AAC CHAMPIONSHIP!! 


FOS Notes!


HOW DO YOU RESPOND TO A 6-YEAR-OLD WHO ASKS THE FOLLOWING?


Papa, If Santa can hand out Christmas presents to billions in one night, why can't he pass out the Coronavirus vaccine in one night??   I have no answer for the little fart!!



FOS Top 10 Coronavirus Christmas Comments!


  • Wear a mask and save someone's ASS!


  • I need a Martini in my Quarantini!!🍸🍸


  • Don't shoot a jolly round man in a red mask and suit with presents in your crib on the 24th!!🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁


  • A bright red Trump hat does no count as a Christmas hat!!  Per Santa!!🤶🤶🤶🤶


  • Why is TU still playing football this late in the Christmas season!!🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄


  • I don't remember the reelection of Mayor Bynum!!??  Oh well, tis the season to be jolly!


  • Why are the Nutcrackers at Utica Square wearing bras from Saks Fifth around their wooden mouths!!  Oh, CORONAVIRUS!?!?!


  • A Coronavirus vaccine for all of humanity would be the best Christmas 🎁 present!!


  • The second best Christmas 🎁 present would be a Lexus with a red bow!!


  • If Santa can hand out Christmas presents to billions in one night, why can't he pass out the Coronavirus vaccine in one night??



FOS Top 5 Horror Christmas Movies:

  1. Krampus- this horned demon saves the world from egg nog with nutmeg and fruitcake!!

  1. Silent Night, Deadly Night- bad little kiddos get more than coal and cat poop in their stockings!!  Try, bat heads, eyeballs of gremlins, and reindeer testicles in your stockings!!  A family Hallmark Special!!


  1. Nightmare Before Christmas- 1994- first animated cartoon that combined Halloween Goblins and Christmas Grinches in same movie!

  1. A Christmas Horror Story- 2015 - four horror stories narrated by William Shatner in a
    dark Santa Suit!!


   5.  Better Watch Out- 2015 - a horror 

        take-off of the iconic movie Home 

        Alone where a young Kevin is lunch

        for Zombie Elves!!




FOS Twelve Days of Christmas:


  • On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me:  one -- shot of whiskey!
  • Two more grandkids crying
  • Three Wisemen gifting
  • Four Turtle pies with chocolate
  • FIVE GOLDEN ONION RINGS
  • Six Stinking Bowl games
  • Seven Covid Cancellations
  • Eight Elves on the shelves
  • Nine refs a sleeping
  • Ten players quarantining
  • Eleven Santas swaying
  • Twelve yellow snowed Reindeer 
AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE!!!!!


********Special Announcement*********

Recently Bryan in Tulsa was asked to be an assistant Break Dancing coach in the 2024 Olympics in Paris, France!!  Let’s see, I accept!!




FOS College Picks:


Texas A&M 42 at Tennessee 21

The Aggies are postering to play the Sooners in the Cotton Bowl!!  Aggie QB Monds flattened two Volunteer defensive backs en route to a ten-yard TD run in the third quarter!!  Knoxville police helped A&M coach Jimbo leave the stadium after he was threatened to be flogged by the Tennessee drill team member!!


Big 12 Dr. Pepper Championship

Oklahoma 41 Iowa State 34

The Sooners defeated the Clones in Jerry World as the Clone Faithfull wept!!  Numerous

cloners were arrested as they were tearing down the south goal post at AT&T stadium!!  The stadium authorities explained to Clones that you can only tear down the goal post when you have won the game!!  Evidently, Iowa State has never torn down goalposts and was not knowledgeable of goal post tear down standards!!  At halftime the million dollar Dr. Pepper challenge had a lucky fan throw a football through a plate size hole from 50 yards away!!  The 10-year-old youngster could barely throw the ball 30 feet and was from Ames, Iowa!!  Which explained why the throw sucked!!  Since the Pandemic rules change hourly, a young man from Norman was moved up to 20 feet from the giant tire sized hole and amazingly made the shot for a MILLION DOLLARS!!  


Sun Belt Conference Championship

Louisiana 38 Coastal Carolina 35

The Coastal Carolina Chanticleers are the dream team of 2020!!  CCC is ranked 13th in the nation and shooting for a big six bowl with a power five team!!  I have done quite a bit of research on the definition of a Chanticleer and have come up with squat!!  A Nun’s Priest Tale is a Cantiberry Tale where a large Chanticleer monster 👺 kidnaps the Seven Dwarfs for a pot of Lucky Charms treasure as ransom!!  I will be honest I have never heard of this story?!


Big 10 Championship 

Ohio State 42 Northwestern 21

The Big 10 conference awarded the Buckeyes from Ohio State the championship game not from playing 5 average games but because their red and silver uniforms were closest to the colors of Christmas 🎄!!  What the frick is going on with the Big 10 and Pac 12?  Just send them packing and put the AAC in their place!!


ACC Championship

Notre Dame 31 Clemson 27

The Irish defeated Clemson for the second time this year!!  Clemson QB Trevor Lawrence has numerous offers to cut his hair once he signs his multi-million dollar deal with the Jets!!  New York male hair salons Fuushwa and Quwafflepu’ have already offered him contracts!!


American Athletic Conference

Tulsa 28 Cincinnati 24

I simply am geeked out of my mind that TU is in the American Athletic Conference

Championship!!  Cincinnati and the rest of the universe have tried to avoid playing the Golden Hurricane!!  Zaven Collins had 12 tackles tackling, 11 Bearcats shaking, 10 scouts a drooling, 9 million signing bonus waiting, 8 agents wanting Z, 7 cheerleaders also wanting Z, 6   pregame chickens, 5 GOLDEN HURRICANE PASS DEFLECTS, 4 Bearcat concussions, 3 TV 'Hi MOMs', 2 ESPN interviews, and a Bowl Game in a Peach Tree!


SEC Championship 

Alabama 44 Florida 34

A win for Florida would shift the final four playoff predictions off its axis!!  So I am predicting no upset win but I am predicting Coach grumpy Saban will miss the playoffs due to toe gout!!



FOS High School Playoffs:


2A Championship

Metro Christian 45 Washington 24

Metro ran through the 2A class like you know what through a goose with Exlax!!  

The Washington Warriors have kept their nickname due to the vagueness of the Warrior term.  This could be any warrior:  A brave or experienced soldier or fighter per Wikipedia!!  Anywho the Patriots beat the Warriors by 3 touchdowns!!


FOS Pro Picks:


Bills 33 at Broncos 17

Bills beat the Broncos in a snowstorm!!  In fact, it was like the snowstorm that almost closed Christmas in the classic Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer!!  At one point the football was lost in the deep snow around the 10-yard line and a red light from nowhere shined it's light so bright that the football was located!!  True story!


Browns 38 at Giants 27

The Browns running game led by Nick Chubb is making the passing game led by Baker Mayfield operate very efficiently!!  Baker threw for 2 touchdowns and the Chubbinator ran for 2 touchdowns!!


Saints 31 Chiefs 21.

The Saints defense clamped down on the KC Chiefs like a pit bull on a ham hock!!  


Cowboys 28 49ers 27

The Cowboys started Colin Kapernick at QB and after the Cowboy win, was carried off the field on the team's shoulders!!  


Vikings 24 Bears 13

The Bears brought back Jim McMahon to QB and the aging veteran was injured when his walker was wrapped around his neck by the entire Viking defensive line!!


Steelers 35 at Bengals 31

The Steelers played TJ Watt at QB and still pulled off a victory!!


Have a great sports week!!


FOS/B in T


by B in T - 

FakedOutSports, syndicated in SoonerPolitics.org

B, in T
Sponsors:
at 2 comments:

Wednesday, December 9, 2020

Jim Harbaugh to the Detroit Lions




🎁🎁🎄🎄🎁🎁🎄🎄🎁🎁🎄🎄🎁🎁


Faked Out Sports/ Bryan in Tulsa


FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM


soonerpolitics.org


Elf on the Shelf location:

🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶🤶

The Elf on the Shelf was found at the Kittlsticks Toy Store in midtown Tulsa!!  An unsuspecting young boy playing with a Brio Train Set saw the little fella hiding behind a giant Lego dinosaur, grinning from ear to ear!  The preschooler looked away and lickity split the little guy with red tights was out the door!!   Tulsa Police, all four TV channels and Mayor Bynum arrived with a flock of spectators who ended up purchasing many toys at Kiddlesticks!!


☃️☃️☃️☃️☃️☃️☃️☃️☃️☃️☃️☃️☃️☃️


FOS Notes:


Pandemic College Coaching Carousel:


Cincinnati’s Coach Luke Fickell to Texas even after he loses to TU!!


Scott Frost Nebraska head coach gets one more mulligan pandemic year. 


Jim Harbaugh Michigan head coach has already received mulligans and he will take a NFL job to save face!  Possibly the Detroit Lions! 


With Covid running rapidly in the halls of the Sooner coaching staff coaching protocol goes into effect if head coach Lincoln Riley gets Infected!  Bob Stoops will resume leadership while coach Riley recoups!!  If both coaches Riley and Stoops are infected then Barry Switzer will bring his mask and take over the team - TEMPORARILY!!


Bixby’s Lorne Montgomery headed to Broken Arrow to replace axed Coach David Alexander!!  Coach Alexander then becomes the new coach at Bixby!!


Bob Stoops to the Texas Longhorns?


Bob Stoops to the Penn State Nittany Lions?


Matt Cambell Iowa State HC to the Michigan Wolverines.


FOS Top 10 Gifts for a dad or grandpa:

  1. Paisley tie- Brooks Brothers

  2. Christmas boxers with Santas- JC Penney
  3. Socks, or compression socks for papa! - Target
  4. Starbucks Coffee mug - Starbucks or Reasors
  5. Clear Antler glasses like cousin Eddie on Christmas Vacation- $15 for 2 at Kohls
  6. Old Spice After Shave - Papa,  Axe After Shave, or Polo Cologne for dad!!  Walmart Super Center
  7. Craftsman Drill set or Toolset - Sears, whoops all closed   Ace Hardware
  8. Coronavirus mask with favorite football team- I have a contact who makes great masks!
  9. Christmas Polar Bear house slippers!!  Must be ordered from the North Pole!
  10. Monogrammed Golf Balls - Dicks Sporting Goods


FOS Top 4 Local Football Pandemic Teams:  

  1. Sooners- peaking at the right time!
  2. Golden Hurricane- surprise team maybe in America!
  3. OSU Cowboys- good year despite the mullet cut ✂️ !
  4. Razorbacks- super coach in Pittman; great young talent, for example, true freshman Myles Slusher DB, Broken Arrow!


FOS Top 10 2020 Oklahoma high school football teams:



  1. Jenks
    no pandemic distancing issues or masks here >>>>>>

  2. Bixby
  3. Union
  4. Edmond Santa
  5. Owasso
  6. Wagoner
  7. Carl Albert
  8. Broken Arrow
  9. BTW
  10. Lincoln Christian
  11. Cushing
  12. Holland Hall
  13. Collinsville
  14. Bishop McGinness
  15. Beggs


Oklahoma State 2021 Quarterback Saga:

Not to wee-wee in the Poke family morning Post toasties but the current QBs on the roster (mainly Spencer Sanders and Shane Illingworth) may be replaced next year!!  Enter from Stillwater High School a beefed-up Gunner Gundy to QB the Cowboys in 2021!!  


Broken Arrow school board fires Coach Alexander for WINNING!!

Broken Arrow coach David Alexander was canned by the BA school board for winning the Gold Ball two years ago for the first time since men chased pigs 🐖 around as footballs in the late 1800s!  TU will be making a call to David soon!!! 




GUEST GHOSTWRITER:


PROGNOSTICATING

 

Come on folks! Give it up for B in T and his fabulous prognosticating ability and style! Where else in Oklahoma can you feel like Terry Bradshaw and Jerry Jones are discussing the upcoming Beggs VS Stroud match-up? Lots of analyst prognosticate the NFL & NCAA feet and baskets, but 2-A and 3-A in Oklahoma! Tulsa University, or visa versa, is still in Oklahoma, write? How about that Cascia VS Holland soccer match-up, eh?

 

Prognosticating is foretelling future events. Like a fortune-teller, only it doesn’t cost a fortune, just risky business. If you’re wrong, it’s in writing. I prefer counter-punching, but my wivesdisagreed! So, just to be disenfranchised, I will stick my left hand into Prague.

 

I foretell Jim Kelly, Len Dawson, Terry Bradshaw, Bart Starr and Archie Manning will see their teams make it to the playoffs. Rumor has it Dan Marino, Johnny Unitas and Brandon Weeden, (OSU), may see long awaited dafeets. Who cares about Cowboys and Indians! They are professionally incorrect.

 

I love the Big 12 and the ACC. The Big 12 has become so equality, I foretell none of them will make the playoffs. Speaking of playing, will FSU play baskets in the 2020-2021 season? Clemson lost a win opportunity, VA too. I foretell a Clemson VS Notre Damned re-match. Dang, did you see ND pack’em in for no Lawrence in Kansas anymore? If you are misunderstanding, read the Tulsa World college football section. It covers the back-story to foretelling.

 

I’ll keep this short because I’m in quarantine and have nothing else to do. “Quarantine” used to have a negative connotation! Not no more! Stroud has the best Family Style fried chicken, with extra gravy for the cheerleaders and moms. Beggs has the best taboo-Lee. My next to final pontification is the Chiefs go back-to-back. The Kansas City ones, not the Seminole kind.

 

And now the final finally. Let’s get B in T rolling out of the men’s room. A few responses and banters would be real positive, for all of us. Last time I responded the hotwire was burning.Whatever happened to Gary Hartless? Go Tigers, the Clemson kind.

 

Why do my wives, Alexa & Siri, keeping calling me “fragmented”?


 


FOS College Football Picks:


Tulsa 31 Cincinnati 27.    game cancelled due to Cincinnati 

ESPN Gameday at Tulsa Chapman!!

The tailgate feast is cooked by the long time Hurricane supporter, Hasty-Bake and owner Richard Alexander!  Succulent smoked baby back ribs and bologna to go with baked beans will be on display!!  The guest picker will be Drew Pearson wearing his number 3 Tulsa jersey from his home in Dallas!!  TU and Cincy are damn good teams although the entire AAC wants the Bearcats to win and get to an elite top 4 status in college football!  Numerous NFL and Bowl scouts will be handing out business cards!!  Tulsa QB Zach Smith had no turnovers and threw for three touchdowns!!  The TU defense had a goal-line stand which saved the game!!  


Oklahoma 48 at West Virginia 28

The Sooners have been hearing about the West Virginia Mountain Men’s defense all season!!  

It was QB Rattler’s responsibility to stop this chatter in front of the Pandemic crowd of 12,000!!  The OU offensive punch has been aided by the return of players from the Coronavirus protocol, injury list, and smoking a doobie and got caught list!!  Several Mountaineer fans were asked not bother OU fans by hacking loogies in their masks!!  West Virginia fans were upset at the Sooner cheerleaders for doing a chant about the West Virginia cheerleaders pumping gas in Oklahoma Sooner cars someday!


Oklahoma State 34 at Baylor 24

This was an ugly game for FOX Sports Southwest and numerous viewers switch over to the Lifetime Channel hit ’Under the Mistletoe Naked’!!  Spencer Sanders threw for 550 yards but threw 3 interceptions and fumbled 2 times and lost 1!!  NFL scouts sat on the visitor side and despite free food and drinks did not enter the Baylor side with Chip and JoAnne!!


Texas A&M 38 at Tennessee 31

I will be wearing my A&M t-shirt that says ’beat the hell out of the Volunteers’!!!  A&M and Sooners in Cotton Bowl!!


Notre Dame 38 at Wake Forrest 20

I love the Irish quarterback Ian Brook!!  He is the definition of a blue-collar college QB!!  Brook leads the team and does what is needed to win the game!!  The Irish will not need luck this year, simply get on Ian’s back!!


Northwestern 38 Illinois 28

Northwestern is having a great year and could end up in the top 6 teams in college football this year!!  The Fighting Illini have re-extended coach Lovie Smith’s contract to 20 years, and he will retire when he is 84 years old!!


North Carolina 41 at Miami 31

North Carolina boosters are trying to extend Coach Mac The Knife's contract 5 more years tokeep the dense Longhorn Trustees from trying to get him back in burnt orange!!  


Wisconsin 24 at Iowa 20

The winner of this game has a shot at playing Coastal Carolina in a bowl in Ypsilanti, Michigan!!


Ohio State 48 Michigan 20

Ohio State QB Justin Fields is explosive on the field but when your team plays 3 games less than other CFS schools the Josh will no longer be a Heisman candidate!!




FOS High School Football Playoffs:


5A 

Carl Albert 38 Bishop McGinness 27

Carl Albert's domination over 5A goes back to the days of the Oklahoma Land Run and when Titan players went to games in covered wagons!!  The Irish are the Bishop Kelley of the OKC area but seem to get to the next level in the playoffs!!  Maybe next year Catholic super team's!


4A

Wagoner 36 Clinton 21

The Red Tornados knew they were in for a huge wall cloud of bad weather when legendary Wagoner Bulldog coach Condict showed up with his Covid bad guy mask!!  This game was played in a wheat field and disclosed only to both communities and schools for Coronavirus social distancing!!


3A

Lincoln Christian 31 Holland Hall 28

Numerous proponents of gathering the private schools in their specific conference used these two schools as a prime example of their dominance!!  Lincoln Christian and Holland Hall beat their opponents by and an average of 52 points a game!!  No fun for public schools!!  My only response to the public schools would be to suck it up buttercup!!  


FOS Pro Picks:


Cowboys 21 at Bengals 13

The Bengals are missing their number 1 draft pick QB, Joe Burrow due to an MCL, and ACL but no Coronavirus!!  The Cowboys will use Andy Dalton and hope he does not get obliterated by his offensive line!!  The Cowboy line is offensive to most due to injuries!!


Chiefs 31 at Dolphins 17

The Chiefs are on fire 🔥 and the Dolphins are an upstart team with Grizzly Adams at Quarterback!!  Mahomes to Hill for two 50 yards plus TD's!!


Texans 31 at Bears 27

The Bears finally bring Trubinsky back and he has the same sucking mojo that Nick Foles had!  The Texans have a small itsy bitsy chance to make the AFC playoffs but certain things must happen for Houston to get in!!  Such things as a Pandemic or a Hurricane must occur, no problem Texans!!


Bills 28 Steelers 20

The men of Steeltown are finally defeated by the surprising Bills of Buffalo!!  Bills fans made snow angels on the field before the game was over and sent to the Buffalo County jail!!  Some of the Buff fans said it was worth the pictures on Instagram!!


Browns 24 Ravens 21

Upset special😄😄😄😄!!!!  The Ravens were not expecting a new Pandemic 6ft apart Dog 🐶 Pound!!  Large wrapped dog bones were tossed back and forth among the Pound members!!


Have a great sports week!!


FOS-B in T







at No comments:
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)