FALL IS SO FUN!!!
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FOS Notes:
- Tulsa football seems to get more votes for the Associated Press Poll when their game is canceled due to the opponent Coronavirus breakout!! Do you think that the AP writers consider this?? Naaaaah!.
- New B in T Prep High School Top 10! 1. Bixby 2. Owasso 3. Jenks 4. Broken Arrow 5. Dallas Cowboys 6. Lincoln Christian 7. New York Jets 8. Bishop Kelley 8. Del City 9. Kansas 10. Tie -The rest of the NFC Eastern Division and Carl Albert!
- If your 62 and love the new Korean band BTS and it's hit song Dynomite could that be considered a midlife crisis? It could be against the foreign policy, or just old farts that love embarrassing the grandkids in public?!?!?
- As a former banker, I have noticed that five bowls are sponsored by mortgage lenders! 1. Union Home Mortgage Gasparilla Bowl. 2.25% Must have voted to get this rate! 2. Guaranteed Rate Cactus Bowl 2.675% No Fee- Must have a 851 credit score! 3. Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl 2.5% No paper work needed, just first born child! 4. FBC Mortgage Cure Bowl 2.99% Offering toaster oven at closing! 5. Lending Tree Bowl 2.25% Must pay $7500 Loan Processing Fee!
FOS College Football Picks:
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I have heard that property in downtown Manhattan can run 900 bucks a square foot!! I do not see it!! Downtown Manhattan, Kansas looks like Mayberry RFD on steroids!! Is there another Manhattan? Oklahoma State quarterback Spencer Sanders mobility kept the purple swarm defense at bay all-day!! I just coined the phrase ’at bay all-day’!!
Tulsa 31 at Navy 24
A tough road trip to visit the Midshipmen and their Cadet trained referees!! I'm not saying, but I am just sayin...........the refs in Annapolis are paid by good old Uncle Sam!! The cute Tulsa Hurricane mascot dog, Goldie hiked and winky tinked on the Naval mascot Bill the Goat causing a brief scuttle between the handlers!! Navy’s Bill the Goat was kidnapped in 2018 by some Army cadets and Navy NCIS dudes were tipped that a group of Tulsa U. Happy Timer Club (70 plus) ladies were planning to kidnap the Navy goat!! This was erroneous and the ladies were all given Bill the Goat stuffed animals!! True story! I promise!
Iowa State 42 Baylor 31
Baylor QB Charlie Brewer threw for 4 touchdowns but one was for the Clones! ISU QB Purdy was hot throwing 30 for 37, 402 yards, and 3 touchdowns!!
Oklahoma 55 Kansas 14
Kansas true freshman QB Robby Boucher was overcome by fright being sacked 9 times by the Sooner defense!! Boucher was carted off the field in the third quarter after an OU defensive stop by Isaiah Thomas flattening Bouche like a bearskin rug!! A large number of Jayhawk fans (all of them) did not make the trip to Norman due to the Coronavirus pandemic!! Kansas Coach Les Miles failed to make the trip due to fear of Coronavirus and Kansas big-dollar donors selling his house!! Sooner QB Spencer Rattler and his new freshman receiver bestie Marvin Mims combined for three touchdowns and pictures with the Jayhawkers Dance and Twirl team!!
TCU 41 Texas Tech 40
A tight Big 12 defensive war with both teams struggling to over 1,350 total offense yards!!
Texas 37 West Virginia 21
A quaint Longhorn homecoming crowd of 2, 656 fans waiting for their next head coach to come to Austin and poof put a no suck spell on them!!
Clemson 42 at Notre Dame 31
Clemson QB Trevor Lawrence last had his haircut at a barbershop when he was 8 years old!! Trev gets his hair styled by a professional salon called the French Coiffure on Campus Corner in Clemson! He always asks for the Hanson, Mmmbop haircut!!
Arkansas 27 Tennessee 21
The Razorback faithful will not know what to do in the football offseason with none of this ’who will be out next coach’ coffee shop gossip!! Arkansas will have a spike in newborn babies with young Razorback couples having more time to think about lovemaking and then procreate!! No more contemplating when Nick Saban or Lincoln Riley will become their next hog coach!!
Texas A&M 38 at South Carolina 30
The Gamecocks are a tough team to play on their home field! What is a Gamecock you may ask? A Gamecock is a rooster cock that is trained for fighting in small towns in rural America!! Oklahoma towns such as Blackwell train and fight their king cocks year round!! Our Blackwell relatives state that we can over-train our king cocks too much over a lifetime!! The Aggies QB Mond threw and ran for 4 touchdowns to defeat South Carolina!
FOS High School Football Picks
Jenks 48 at Westmore 21
Jenks offensive tackle Logan Nobles and running back/safety Grant Lohr are being recruited heavily and recently Nobles signed with Oklahoma State!! Nobles scored 8 pancakes Friday morning at breakfast and another 8 pancakes on the Westmore field Friday night!! The Jenks linemen call these Wiley Coyote blocks!! See below:
Union 56 at Edmond North 12
Union is searching for that home-field advantage by getting second place in their conference!! Their new state of the art stadium with 3 levels is still under construction. Inola high school and Jenks middle school have reluctantly offered their fields for Union to use for the playoffs!!
Owasso 58 Putman City 7
The entire Owasso defense was given the game ball for their play after allowing only 1 touchdown!! On the other hand, the freshmen who were playing on D in the fourth quarter and allowed the touchdown had to do 25 gassers!! Thanks, DC coach Graham! Note to file to the 4 or 5 nice ladies who read this: A gasser is not noise and smells made at night by Mr. B in T per accusations by Mrs. B in T!! Simply 100-yard sprint which equals puke gassers for lineman!!
Broken Arrow 47 at Enid 16
BA Coach Alexander who may or may not read this, probably not, needs to be hired by Tulsa University to coach linemen and recruit the state Oklahoma!! I do not think the current offensive line coach at TU is bad but it is David Alexander's time!! Come on TU!! Don't mess this up like the Ostroski deal!!
*****This Commercial was paid for by TU Alums for David Alexander - TU coach 2021!!*****
Bixby 48 Booker T Washington 28
Approximately 114 college scouts were at Spartan Stadium wearing Covert masks donated by the Bixby Booster Club Moms! These masks had SCOUT and Go Spartans in blue, red, and white on each!! Each scout was given marmalade pie, homemade buttered rolls, homemade peach cobbler and a star quilt in gratitude from the Bixby Booster Moms! Gots to do what you gots to do to get that football scholarship!!
Pryor 42 at Claremore 24
Prior Tigers beat the Zebras badly!! Have you ever watched an old Wild Kingdom TV show that has a wild tiger 🐅 pounce on a zebra at 70 miles per hour?? Nothing else to say!
Bishop Kelly 35 at Shawnee 24
Tough road victory for the Comets!! Shawnee is big but Kelley is too!!
Lincoln Christian 42 at Checotah 20
Lincoln Christian Bulldogs traveled to the Checotah home field and whooped them some Wildcats till they were Mildcats!! The Lincoln Christion booster/parents chartered a double-decker bus from Kraft Tours!! The group tailgated inside the bus with social awareness Coronavirus masks!! In the upper part of the bus was the Bulldog Booster Club sponsored open bar which opened from 4:30 till 6:30!! The bus was parked in the Checotah South Parking lot by the hog farm!!
Cushing 30 at Blanchard 24
The Tigers have arrived in Blanchard to battle the Lions!! It happened to be Blanchard’s homecoming and the Tigers are going to pounce on their game!! Joke: Tigers to pounce on their game........get it!! I am not the type to brag about a family member buuuuut my nephew received another personal foul 15-yard penalty for a skirmish on the Lion sidelines!! While he was on the Blanchard sideline he did get a cheerleaders digits!! What a stud!! Please do not mention to his girlfriend!!
Wagoner 32 at Skiatook 28
Wagoner holds off a determined Skiatook team by breaking up a Skiatook pass in the endzone as time ran out!!
Cascia Hall 37 at Keys 20
Cascia Hall is looking forward to their trip to visit Keys Cougars!! Numerous Keys players have befriended Cascia players on Facebook!! The player's plan on getting together after the game at Shotgun Sams's pizza on the main street in Keys!! The parents sat at a separate table and paid the tab!
FOS Mom O Meter Keys Moms .988 CH Moms.969 The Keys moms were trailing the Cascia moms going into the final competition where the Cougar moms dominated the Pandemic seed spitting contest!! The entire Commando mom seed spitting team was disqualified for not cleaning each seed thoroughly before respitting their favorite seed for distance!! This was a Coronavirus technicality that cost Cascia Hall the Mom O Meter trophy again!!
FOS Diner of the Week: Big Red Restaurant 26186 OK 82 Park Hill, Oklahoma. Big Red is well known for its giant biscuits and gravy!! These biscuits are made in cornbread pans!! Key’s strength coach keeps track of every player’s pounds lifted and Big Red biscuits consumed daily!! Receipts must be turned in daily!
Oklahoma Christian School 47 at Blackwell 7
Tough day for the Maroons Senior game!! Several Blackwell alums headed to Ponca City for beer and ribs at the Blue Moon restaurant.
Tonkawa 30 at Oklahoma Bible 26
The 5th ranked, A- division, Buccaneers of Tonkawa outlasted Oklahoma Bible!! Both will be competitors the A Ball Trophy!!
McClain 37 at Muldrow 13
The Muldrow Bulldogs were awed by the speed of the Titans! The two teams have combined for 2 wins and are chomping at the bits to get a W!! Which leads me to the question of what in the heck does ’chomping at the bit’ refer to?? A bit is a part of the horse that is chewed on when the horse is anxious, ready to eat, or race!! McClain steamrolls Muldrow then heads to the local Sonic and closes them out of food! Go Titans!!
FOS NFL Picks:
Chiefs 36 Panthers 21
With the addition of running back LeVeon Bell, Kansas City have hoarded as many as 10 running backs this year!! Look for the Chiefy wiefys to sign Priest Holmes in a few days!
Steelers 78 at Cowboys 2
This score sums the Cowboy season up!!
Broncos 28 at Falcons 27
Denver Quarterback Locke seems to be the guy to lead his team back to mediocrity!! President Elway, needs sell an auto dealership and buy some good players!!
Titans 33 Bears 24
Former Crimson Tide and current Titans running back Derrick Henry ran over at least 20 Bear defenders, 2 chain operators, a Nashville TV 9 cameraman, a $450,000 TV 9 camera, and a Bear male cheerleader! He runs hard!!
Texans 24 at Jaguars 16
Both teams are battling with the Jets for draft rights to Clemson QB Trevor ’Hanson’ Lawrence!! In my opinion, Trevor looks exactly like a young Taylor Hanson of the boy band ’Hanson’ from Tulsa!! I have them on my playlist for Center workouts!! Shhhhhhhhh!
Have a great sports week!!
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