Wednesday, April 26, 2023

Cheese Fries- OK State Eskimo Joes invented!

B in T Draft Projections:


1st Carolina- Bryce Young- Kyler Murray like QB without the arm!

2nd Houston - CJ Stroud QB Ohio State to bolster my son’s favorite team to a 2030 Super Bowl Championship!!  Perfect NFL Run/Pass/Option QB!!

3rd (trade) Indianapolis - Anthony Richardson Florida-the next Cam Newton??!!


Bryan in Tulsa:


FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM


Bobblehead Family Sports:

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I have not written about my daughter Maddie in a bit and I would like to announce to all of my readers that Maddie is a new RN at the Saint Francis NICU in March!!!!  She celebrated by having Ricardos Mexican Cantina, then playing 

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18 holes of golf at the Broken Arrow Golf and Athletic Club, and finally her first back-to-back-to-back shift at Saint Francis NICU!!!  Very exciting first day but she cannot do Ricardos Burritolata the day before Golf and first shift!!  So proud of her and her Hubby who has some news that I will share in next week's blog!!


B in T Rants:

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Football Recruiting ROI (Return on investment) dollars-

Money spent on Recruiting in 2022:  


*Oklahoma spent 2.6 million buckaroos recruiting and a 6-7 record is not reflective of 4th highest money spent to get 4, and 5 ⭐️s WHICH is also not considered a good ROI, another 6-7 season will have the heat revved up for OU’s coach BV!

*Oklahoma State spent 400k ish dollars on football recruiting in 2022!!  Rutgers was No. 11 nationally and No. 2 in the Big Ten in recruiting expenses!!  Only five SEC schools spent more than the Scarlet Knights, who haven’t had a winning season since 2014!!  Very sucky ROI (return on investment) for Rutgers has almost doubled its recruiting budget to $1.61 million since Greg Schiano returned for his second stint as coach!!  Can u say bye bye Rutgers AD and coach!  Conversely, Oklahoma State, Iowa and Wisconsin have routinely played into the Top 25 polls during the season despite being among the thriftiest spenders in recruiting the last ten years!!

Lowest power 5 recruiting expenditures per our TMZ sources!  Mike Gundy should be AD!  Or Govenor of Oklahoma, or maybe the new Director of the NCAA alignment to oversee NIL Expenditures!!  Per my TMZ correspondent, coach Gundy is considering running for Prez in 2028!! 

*Tulsa spent an undisclosed amount 2022- Costs are said to be close to 100k per year plus a 25k yearly grant from Uber for recruiting trips!!  Great idea!!

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🏈🏈Tulsa Uber Girl Football Recruit Ride!🏈🏈

*Arkansas spent 1.2 million on recruiting in 2022, a moderately low amount in SEC standards!  Of course the big perk here arrives with air transportation from Tyson Chicken’s Jet, Rob Walton CEO Walmart’s Jet and Bill and Hillary Clinton’s Piper Cessna!!

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Tyson Chicken’s Learjet G12


BOOM!!

More than one in five TU students is a National Merit Scholar or National Achievement Scholar- believed to osbe the highest percentage of ANY university in the US!!  The current Lambda Chi Alpha has a 3.6 GPA, and 50% of our Pledges, sorry Associate Members,  are National Merrit Scholars!!  In the late 70s, the % of Merrit Scholars took a huge hit on the Lambchops percent!!  A pandemic of deviants joined TU frats at this stage and Tulsa was one of the top drinking/party schools in America!!  Grades suffered but fun was amazing in the late 70s early 80s at Tulsa University from my recollection!


B in T Top Ewwwwy Gewwwwy

Feeling Traditions on football Saturday!!

1.

Dotting the i at Ohio State, I get goosebumps and I don't even know where Columbus is!! Haha

2.

Arkansas Calling the Hogs, nothing like 70k folks yelling Pig Sooooey in hog snouts!!

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3.

Clemsons Howard Rock:

When the Clemson team gathers to run down The Hill, the players rub Howard’s Rock because of the mystical powers it is supposed to give Clemson players. The rock is mounted on a pedestal at the top of The Hill and was given to Coach Frank Howard by a friend (S.C. Jones ’19) who picked it up in Death Valley, Calif. The Rock was first placed on the pedestal at the top of The Hill on Sept. 24, 1966, a game Clemson won 40-35 over Virginia. The team started rubbing the Rock for the first game of 1967, a 23-6 win over Wake Forest on Sept. 23, 1967!

The Tradition Continues!

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4.

Oklahoma’s Boomer Sooner Schooner- so cool to watch the mini horses and wagon run on the field after each Sooner touchdown!!  Although the opponents secretly wish for the Schooner to tip over gently one more time!!

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5.

Va Tech Enter Sandman - 

Metallica’s and B in T’s greatest rock song ever!!  My son, Lance and I would play this song before football practices in our ‘99 Suburban!

65k Hokie fans jumping up and down to Sandman, spitting out fire πŸ”₯ is a great sight to behold!!  

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6.

Kinnick Wave, Iowa

When the Kinnick clock hits zero, at the end of the first quarter, 70,000 Hawkeye football fans turn their attention from the field to the Stead Family Children's Hospital!!  In unison, they wave to the pediatric patients and their families watching the game!!  More goosebumps!!

Should have been 1st!

7.

Texas A&M 12th Man

Where did the 12th Man come from??  I have been to numerous games but I have never inquired about it's origin!!  My super duper, beloved Aggie fan relatives have never explained this great story!!  Shame on them!!  Well, in 1922, the heavily outgunned Aggies were facing the top-ranked Centre College Praying Colonels on the gridiron in the Dixie Classic in Dallas!!  An Aggie by the name of E. King Gill, a squad player for Texas A&M’s football team, was up in the press box helping reporters identify players on the field below and what was happening on the field wasn’t pretty!!  The Aggies found themselves plagued by injuries, with their reserves seemingly dwindling with every play!!  As Texas A&M Coach Dana X. Bible(tuff name to live up to) looked across his rapidly emptying bench, he suddenly remembered Gill’s presence in the stands!!  BIBLE found a Savior!!  Bible waved Gill down to the sideline and told him to suit up!!  Gill ran under the bleachers and put on the uniform of injured running back Heine Weir, who had been knocked out of the game in the first quarter!!  This shat really happened, I was there!!  Hehe!

Gill returned to the sideline, where he stood ready to play for the entirety of the game!!  When the last play was run, the Aggies found that they had pulled off one of the greatest upsets in college football history, winning the game 22-14!!  Gill never played but was allowed to keep the jersey!  But a TRADITION was created!

8.

Oklahoma State’s Eskimo Joe’s Cheese Fries-  OMG!  This tradition has been high-octane food for Stillwater for 100 years!!  

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9.

Florida State Seminoles-

Arguably the greatest spectacle in college football unfolds moments before kickoff at Doak Campbell Stadium when Osceola charges down the field aboard Renegade, a beautiful Appaloosa, and plants a flaming spear at midfield prior to each home game. This tradition is a tribute to the great Seminole Tribe of Florida. 

Arguably the greatest spectacle in college football unfolds moments before kickoff at Doak Campbell Stadium when Osceola charges down the field aboard Renegade, a beautiful Appaloosa, and plants a flaming spear at midfield prior to each home game!!. This tradition is a tribute to the great Seminole Tribe of Florida!!

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10.

OU/Texas Tradition

Fake Cop on way to the Cotton Bowl for Sooners vs Longhorns!  The Atoka, Oklahoma police department has a replica copper dummy that has caused 1,436,300 break pumps over the last 10 years according to my intense TMZ survey!!

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Center Vibes:

The week before the tournament: 

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Each player has certain ‘oddish rituals’ before big Boccia match:


Steven - has stomach issues so before each 1st match of the Tourney he chugs a 12-ounce bottle of Mylanta (strawberry flavored) to the cheers of his teammates!!  Chug, Chug, Chug!!!!  Go, Steven!


Pam V. - she goes into each Boccia match with limited confidence but somehow wins!!  Great tactical maneuver by the sly Pammy!


Rose- tells the entire KC Regionals USA staff and opponents that she has never played this tournament before and sneaks up and wins a medal!!  Watch her and the ‘woe is me poor little Rose’ pre-game ritual!! 


Lee- This odd pre-match ritual involves his Dallas Cowboy doo rag, Dallas Cowboy PJs and a prayer to the Jerry Jones Gods!!  This never works and Lee, like his vaunted Cowboys never finishes in the top 10!!!


Tempest- at previous Boccia tournaments she wears giant bunny ears during her first game!!  A tradition that her roommate Stephanie will wear this year!!  

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                      Stephanie




B in T MLB


Cards

The Cardinal fans in the Yuppyland Section of Busch Stadium are now wearing cardinal red paper sacks over their heads, a la Saints!

Starting straight at trading, Goldschmidt, Arenado and Walker for an entire pitching staff, the Birds have a high propensity to suck a lot!


Cubs

The Roof Top crowd across Waveland Ave was recently shut down for 1 week for mooning and boobing the young crowd in Wrigley Field!   Most of the young Cubbies were brought to tears when the Roof Top section was closed for one long week!

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Rangers

The starting pitching staff with DeGrom added has put this an 85 to the 90-win season!


Royals

Kauffman Stadium is beautiful but the team playing in the stadium is not!!  One more 65-win season will bring new management for 2024!


Astros

Yordan Alvarez of the Stros is so big and powerful he once scared a charging bull in it's tracks by simply showing his batting stance!  The big bull  bully fainted!  True shat!!  


Brewers

The Brewers are again out in front of the Red Birds in the early going, but Bud Light and Busch Light take longer than Pabst Blue Ribbon and Old Milwaukee beer to get moving!!


Have a great sports week!


Bryan in Tulsa

by B in T - FakedOutSports, syndicated in SoonerPolitics.org




B, in T

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Wednesday, April 19, 2023

Boccia Regionals in KC!


Kyler Murray from OU will be given a 20 ft Heisman Trophy statue unveiled during the Sooner spring game this Saturday in Norman!!  Next year former OU QB Jalen Hurts will be given a statue for being as rich as shat after signing a 255-million-dollar contract with the Philadelphia Eagles!!

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πŸ’°πŸ’°πŸ’°πŸ’°πŸ’°πŸ’°πŸ’°πŸ’°πŸ’°πŸ’°πŸ’°


Bryan in Tulsa


FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM


Bobbleheads:

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Baby boy Phillip Montgomery (yes - the same exact name as last year's TU football coach) is scheduled for stork arrival into the first male edition of the Reimer family in late April!!  BASICALLY NOW!!  This will be the 7th grandbaby for Mimi and Papi B in T and only the 2nd boy, thank you GussyπŸ™!!  Most of the girls are destined to be soccer players, football placekickers, football linemen(Elliott), or cheerleaders!  Phillip is destined to be a professional Ultimate Frisbie player, a rock climber, a nuclear physicist, and last but not least a Boomer Sooner!!  Both parents are Sooner Born and Sooner bred!!Congrats to Jordan and Clark!!

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Boomer Sooner Dude!


Center Scoop:

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B in T Boccia:

With our journey to Kansas City only 2 weeks away I would like to give an Injury update:


Sheri (Roys's Caregiver) - tripped one of Roys's opponents and broke her big toe, so we now have a caretaker for Roy and a Caretaker for Sheri's big toe, AMAZING!!  Roy will play but Sheri is questionable!


Sherri - busted nail on throwing hand- a very tuff gal!

Game time decision for coach Margie!!


Bryan - pulled groin - a big wussy - probable - suc it up buttercup!


Lee - has anxiety issues with wife being replaced by Bryan in hotel room for two evenings in Kansas City, probable with proper medication and a lullaby by roommate!!


Margie - having to watch this moody group of Boccia Gods and Goddesses Probable, local CVS Pharmacies are on high alert ⚠️!!

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These two dudes are a couple of the best in the World!!  But let me assure you that they don't scare the Center group at all!!  I will be right behind all of you guys, especially Keith!!  Sheri will put a pot, not on your noggin!!


B in T Rants:

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The Tulsa Driller organization is the creme De la creme of minor league baseball!!  They recently announced Tulsa Oilers gear and special Oily days at the ballpark!!  

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B in T Opinion:

If hush money is to make you quiet then what is the money for Stormy to portray?  Loud money, head ‘n sand money, or possibly hey let's let the world know we don't care about money!!


B it Ts ‘I told u so guy’ St. Louis Cardinal’s 20-year-old Dave Winfield lookin’ dude - Jordan Walker!!  And Fam in da stands!

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The Birds of Red may suck lavishly but this stud is fo real!

Batting 7th and 8th, .276 with 3 dingers and 11 RBIs!!


Renovation for Johnson Park!

A new bond issue to improve Johnson Park at 61si and Riverside could make this park a destination park in Tulsa!!  A 3 million and 5 million dollars 

Johnson Park is near 61st and Peoria!!  It’s going to be something that the neighborhood will be proud of and the community as a whole can be proud of,” said Tulsa Parks Director Anna America!

The City of Tulsa is planning to put $3.1 million into the park to transform it and is asking the community what facilities they would like!??  How about some Disney-themed rides such as Moana and Frozen, possibly use some of the old Bells Amusement Park equipment and recreating the roller coaster ride Zingo!!  Naaawwww.  I am maybe positively almost certain that the ride would pass all the inspections required!!  It is thought to be a 50/50 shot that the rusty old 1961 Zingo equipment can be refurbished!!

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BREAKING:  New York Police have listed Trump’s weight as 270 pounds!!  Could be an Edge DE at Tulsa or Oklahoma!!  Looks like Oklahoma State and Mike Gundy are the leading candidate for Trumper's football services!!  

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OSU football spends the lowest amount of any Power 5 school!!  300k lower than the second lowest in the old Big 12 (10) AND the second lowest in the new Big 12  --  >>> is the OSU Cowboys of Stillwater not of Columbus, Big 10 fame!!

Makes you wonder how good Oklahoma State could be if that staff and administration invested more resources into recruiting!!  Or find a caveat in T. Boone’s estate the allows for a few more million a year for Cowboy recruiting or NIL donations from the Trust?!?!

Cowpoke recruiting classes continually rank anywhere from 35 to 60 and they may be the strongest team of the new Big 12!!   12 or 14???  I forget!

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MLB


Dodgers and Brewers

Los Angeles Dodgers TV sideline reporter David Vassegh shattered his arm and pride last year in August!!  He was quickly waived by the Dodgers and picked up by the Brewers at the season's end!!

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Vasseghs new outfield gig as Brewers outfield announcer!

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My brother, Tre has loved the Dodgers since he was three and could throw a slider with both his left and right arm, AT THE SAME TIME!!  No shat, STG bro! (swear to God)!  He is now a Brewer fan due to waivers of the poor Dodger reporter dude!!


Cardinals

My prediction of stardom for 20-year-old Jordan Walker is possibly the only prediction I have made accurately!!  A 10-game hitting streak to start his major league career was amazing!!  I just purchased my own Father's Day present, a 5XL Jordan Walker jersey!!


Cubs-

Without Kyle Hendricks, the Cub's current rotation is similar to the local Elmer Fuckwinkle High School’s rotation in Chicago!!  Hendricks has been out since June 2022 and has recently started some throwing off the mound!  With him in the rotation I will give the Cubs a 1 out a 100 chance to play in the World Series, without 1 out a 2.56 billion!


Royals-

The Royals are off to a poopy typical start and superstar Bobby Witt Jr. has demanded a trade!!  Attendance is lagging and the local USA Regional Boccia tournament is drawing better crowds!!


Rangers

CF Aldonis Garcia is heating up and the Rangers are looking at Nathan Lowe to be an All-Star!

The Rangers’ Garcia came out of a 0-16 slump with a grand salami against the As!!


Astros

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Our Altuve doll, which was given to us from our amazing Houston family, is missing since the arrival of our puppy Australian Sheppard dog!  Since the arrival of Kodak, he is so cute you want to take a Kodak picture, I have constantly been checking for Astro Orange in his poop!!  My guess is Altuve doll was carried off by a hawk!!

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Have a great sports week!


B in T


by B in T - FakedOutSports, syndicated in SoonerPolitics.org





B, in T

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Wednesday, April 12, 2023

Cardinals need PITCHING!

 Bryan in Tulsa


FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM


Bobbleheads:

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FC Tulsa club has inked 14-year-old Tulsa native Renan Mendoza to an Academy deal for the 2023 US Championship season, making Mendoza the youngest player in franchise history to sign a contract with FC Tulsa!  This deal was reported to be worth 500k with unlimited soccer balls at Tulsa’s Soccer Shack!!  The young man took the whole Union High School soccer team to Mcdonald's!  FC Tulsa 

is also scouting an 9-year-old rising star from Carnegie Elementary via Metro Tulsa!! FC Tulsa has offered the phenom 500 new series Hotwheels Monster Trucks and finally 200 bags of Easter Peanut M&Ms for his agent, Papi B in T!

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Gussy Tourihno!!



Center vibes:

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USA Boccia 2023 Regionals in KC update:

Thanks to a lot of my 14 (up 2 from 2022) readers' donations, the Center for Physically Limited Individuals will be taking a full team to Kansas City on May 6, 7, and 8!!  Such Center Boccia players like Steven the ‘Ramp Machine’, Lee ‘Boccia Maniac on Wheels’, Bryan ‘the Foghorn Leghorn’,  

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Roy ‘the Rookie’ and his aid Sheri ‘don’t play with me’!!

We also have Keith ‘the Hammer’, and the nice Sherri ‘Wonder Woman’ will be there in spirit which we can hear all the way from Tulsa!!  Prayers for a complete recovery for Sherri with 2 r’s!!

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Newcomer Charlene Ball Smasher will make the trip with her hubby who lovingly gave Charlene her that team nickname!  We will strive to bring back trophies and get no one evicted from the building during a game!  Three weeks till Boccia fun in KC!  Thanks to all my 13 readers for giving the Center some love and prayers!!



B in T Rants:

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A couple of political dignitaries were at the BOK Center last month to meet numerous wrestlers with the glad hand!!  Ex Prez Trump whom was a pro wrestler in the LeeRoy Magirk era, fought in the pro wrestling circuit back in the 60s!!

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Leprechaun Returns is not a happy-go-lucky movie about Lucky Charm cereal!!  It consists of a Green furry Tasmanian devil-looking creature with shark-like teeth and bad breath!!  

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For bad teeth see Dr. Richard Stephens, Tulsa!


Way to frickin’ early top 15 2023 Oklahoma high school football teams:


1.Bixby 6AI

2.Union 6AI

3.Washington Warriors 2A *many exNFLers sons on the team!

4.Stillwater 6AII

5.Broken Arrow 6AI

6.Noble 5A

7.Carl Albert 5A

8.Jenks-6A

9.Tuttle-4A

10.Muskogee-6AII

11.Heritage Hall-2A

12. Tonkawa A

13.Cascia Hall B

14.Ringling -8 man football

15. Tushamingo- 7 man and 1 woman football


More preseason polls football polls coming!


The Redbirds have a star in Lars Nootbar if he gets off the IL and plays!!  The Cards are in need of some SWEET wins!

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Tulsa Hurricane's new mascot will be a combo of the following former mascot dudes:


1.

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Huffy


2.

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Captain Cane


3.

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Troll Doll Herc the Jerk


The projected millennial Captain Cane:

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Very yuppyish!!  With a pinch of GQish!!  The new GQ Captain Cane!!



B in T MLB 


Cardinals

The Clysdale Bombers as the St. Louis Cardinals are affectionately known, have hit 37 home runs in their first 14 games!!  They have surrendered 47  home runs bro!  Google it!  Dare ya!  A 4-8 record will not make Cardinal Nation happy!!


Dodgers 

Nothing much happening here, looks like another ho-hum, come up short year!!  The team did get some new Dodger Murse travel gear!!  My brother is a huge Dodger fan and has 7 murses, not nurses!  Go, figure bro!!


Cubs

The chants of’Cody Belanger MVP’ are bellowing through the drunk-on Bud Light section of the bleachers at Wrigley!!  Hopefully, they can celebrate a .500 record in 2023?!



Astros

Right fielder Kyle Tucker is off to a hot start!!  He will be the larger version of an Altuve doll on roids!!

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Royals 

Lorenzo Cain is to sign a 1-day contract on May, 7th so he may retire a Royal!!  The Royals are in negotiations to keep him for the remainder of the season and bat cleanup!!  No shat!


Rangers

The Rangers started the season hot and then realized this was also still May flowers πŸŒΉ but soon it will be time to start drinking warm Coors Light in 100-degree temperatures!!


Brewers

The Brewers are looking tough and should be sliding down the home run slide many times this year!! Currently, Bernie Brewer slides down a plastic white slide, and no longer into a giant mug of beer but onto a platform in the shape of home plate when a Brewer hits a home run, while a sign tower with Bob Uecker's trademark home run call ("Get up, get up, get outta here, GONE!!") lights up above the Dugout!!  If a visiting team hits a home run the team mascot must slide into a tub of blue slime sponsored by CBS morning Co-host of CBS and CBS Sports Analyst Nate Burleson and digital superstar Charli D'Amelio will embark on a Slime-till u puke adventure as co-hosts of Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards 2023 in March!  


Have a great sports week!


B in T

by B in T - FakedOutSports, syndicated in SoonerPolitics.org





B, in T

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