Thursday, September 30, 2021

Sooner Fans Boo Ratler in Manhattan!


Bryan in Tulsa


FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM


Bobblehead Sports

My wittlest granddaughter Rosie is Jordan’s second!!  Rosie has adopted some of Jordan’s athletic skills and determination!!  Rosie will have the determination and meanness of her mom when the smallest of our grandkids has a growth spurt- WATCH OUT!!  She will start the swimming for toddlers classes soon and B in T is projecting his wittle Rosie to be a world-class swimming young lady!!  I foresee my little Rosie having more guts than any youngster with a disability and I have seen quite a few!!  Keep keeping on, wittle Rosie, love πŸ’• Papi!!


B in T Notes:


Pumpkin πŸŽƒ Man is spotted at Earth, Wind, and Fire concert at River Spirit in south Tulsa!  The security staff at River Spirit called in Tulsa SWAT and Tulsa County Sheriffs department when word was out that the Pumpkin πŸŽƒ Man was seen with a giant bag of edibles at the entrance of The Cove  before the EWF concert!!  Approximately 6 or 7 edibles were discovered by Tulsa SWAT which meant that approximately 500 pieces of edibles were devoured by the extraordinarily happy crowd!!  Pumpkin Man escaped out the pool exit and swam across the river!!


B in T Top 10 All-time Horror flicks:


  1. 1.  A Nightmare on Elm Street, 1984

Director: Wes Craven Peed my pants twice!


  1. 2.  Hellraiser, 1987  Director Clive Barker/  tribute to my sister Mary!


  1. 3.  The Exorcist 1981

   .     Director: William Friedkin - Never     liked pea soup again!


  1. 4.  The Shining, 1980  Director Stanley Kubrick   Jack Nicholson best work!


  1. 5.  Alien, 1979  Director Ridley Scott

         First Alien to pop out a stomach!


  1. 6.  Psycho, 1960

         Director: Alfred Hitchcock--  I have friends at the Center similar!


7.  The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, 1974

Director: Tobe Hooper  - Actually left the movie theatre to puke!


8.  Dawn of the Dead, 1978

Director: George A. Romero - watched the movie high!


  1. 9.  The Silence of the Lambs, 1991

         Director: Jonathan Demme Sir   Anthony was a scary mofo!!


10.   An American Werewolf in London,     1981  Director: John Landis   Transformation to a Vampire was best ever!



B in T Top 6 2021 Horror Football Teams:


  1. Kansas - bring back Les Miles
  2. Blackwell High - need size and speed
  3. NY Jets - a very long year for the Jets
  4. Jacksonville Jaguars: QB needs a trim
  5. Duke Blue Devils- stick to basketball
  6. UConn- 3-21 over last 2 years plus 2021



College Correct Picks:


Tulsa 35 Houston 28

The Hurricane faithful are about as faithful as 5,000 football fans on a Friday night can be!!  Each game I faithfully wear my spandex waist, yellow TU pants, and shirt!!  Each week I faithfully attend tailgate parties with brownies and deviled eggs!!  Each week I faithfully feel my butt fall asleep in the stands!!  Each week I sing the TU fight song in front of the team, 7 fans, 3 dogs, and Captain Cane!!!  And each night after the game, win or lose, I cannot wait until they hit that green or occasionally blue field again!!  I hope all 13 of my readers feel the same way about their team!!  TU wins second in a row!!

QB Brin Davis may be the real deal, Lucille!!


Oklahoma State 34 Baylor 31

Baylor is very overrated and OSU may be as well!!  But QB Sanders is better this year than last!!  Cowboy fans are asking Coach Gundy, and please do not put the tall, slow, white kid in!!  The paddle the wall Cowboy folks were given a fifteen-yard unsportsmanlike penalty for spanking the back judge on the buttocks on a play that went way out of bounds!!


Georgia 35 Arkansas 27

ESPN Gameday is in Athens and several Georgia cheerleaders were busy taking selfies in Kirk Herbstreit’s lap!!  This is a no-no according to section 345, code 976c in the NCAA code of conduct manual!  The Georgia defensive line is comparable to some NFL teams but Arkansas has some beef on the O-line to battle!!  Just not quite enough!!  New live Razorback mascot Tyson, the boss hog, weighs 800 pounds and can snort once and scare Georgia bulldog live mascot Uga out of the stadium!!


*********Upset Special*********

Kansas State 34 Oklahoma 31

Kansas State wins third Sooner upset in a row!!  Sooner fans everywhere are wanting all of QB Spencer Rattler’s NIL money given to charity or reimbursed!!  The Wildcats Sophomore QB Will Howard looked like Aaron Rodgers picking apart the Dallas Cowboys against the Sooners!!  The OU offense is a little faulty this year but now the defense is looking weak!!


Iowa State 103 Kansas 2

I will never pick the Jayhawks again!!  Bad pick!!


Iowa 38 at Maryland 28

Hawkeyes swoop down and gobble up the Terrapins!!


Wisconsin 38 Michigan 31

Coach khaki is getting too comfortable so it is time for him to start choking!!  


Texas 41 at TCU 34

Texas is back, just before the 70 point loss to Oklahoma!!


Cincinnati 36 at Notre Dame 28

Cincinnati vaults to top 4 nationally after big win over the Irish πŸ€!!


Clemson 34 Boston College 24

The last time Clemson was 2-2 and BC was 4-0, Dougie Flutie’s grandfather was playing football with a real pig!!  BC comes back to reality and Clemson heals some of it’s wounds!!


High School Correct Picks:


Bixby 62 Putman City West 13

Bixby is rated 19th in the national Max Preps poll and snuck in at 25th in the UPI USA Today top 25!!


BTW 49 Bartlesville 19

Bixby should keep an eye on the powerful and athletic BTW team!!  The Hornets Micah Tease and Gentry Williams (both may be headed to Soonerville) have some serious moves!!


Holland Hall 48 Central 20

The Dutch will run the table this year the move up to 5A and sweep that classification too!!


Wagoner 42 at Bristow 12

Wagoner has no fear of any school this side of the Rio Grande!!


Cushing 52 at OC Classen 13

The Tigers are excited about this road trip until both the Cushing busses were stolen the day before the road trip to Classen!!  Cushing philanthropist Michael Morrill stepped up and purchased a Custom Hemphill Touring bus once used by Aerosmith!!  Several Cushing football players wept tears of joy as they walked on the bus for the first time!!  Each cushion velvet and leather seat has its 32-inch big screen TV and mini-fridge and wet bar!!


Blackwell 24 at Perry 20

Blackwell Maroons against the Perry Maroons in, you guessed it, the battle of the Maroons!!  This is not to be confused with the battle of the morons which involves the Kardashians!!  A Perry player goes to the wrong end zone for a win for the Blackwell Maroons!!!!  


Mom O Meter Blackwell moms .978. Perry moms.969   The Blackwell moms aka Blackwell Babes defeated the Perry moms aka Perry Princes in a controversial chicken neck wringing contest!!  The Perry Princes used the common squeeze and twirl move introduced by grandmas in the 1950s!!  The Blackwell Babes use a controversial chicken neck-breaking device and won the contest easily!!  Perry schools have protested the so-called fun event!!


B in T Diner of the Week

Sassy’s Good Eats   On The Square in Perry!!  Sassy’s is best known for her smoked bacon macaroni and cheese souffle!!  Oklahoma State’s coach Gundy has his own OSU Cowboy booth at Sassy’s and attends the diner 2 or 3 times a month!!


Jenks 41 at Broken Arrow 34

The Trojans took care of the Tigers in what has turned out to be a tough year for BA head coach Josh Blankenship!!  Son went over to father Bill’s house in Owasso Saturday and borrowed some football knowledge from Papa Blankenship!!  


Owasso 46 Norman North 34

The Northern Timberwolves are the toughest westside team but legendary Coach B of Owasso runs the wishbone in the first half and then runs the spread no-huddle in the second half!!  True shat!!  I promise!!  The Norman North coaches were confused again by the offensive master Coach B.!!!!  


Bishop Kelley 34 at Durant 24

Not feeling real good about this pick!!


Cascia Hall 31 at Spiro 14

Cascia’s 1.2 million dollar team tour bus was shut down for the Spiro trip!!  Some insiders to the Commando program feel certain that new vibrating massage chairs have replaced the leather seats in the luxurious bus!!


Tonkawa 45 Crescent 6

The Tonkawa Buccaneers defeated the Crescent Wrenches in a monsoon of rain!!  This week’s Tonkawa Quilt and Cannabis Festival had record attendance despite the rain!!



Pro Correct Picks:


Cowboys 21 Panthers 17

Owner Jerry Jones fires his son as Prez of the Cowboys!!  Jerry then realized he was having a very bad dream and woke up to the real world including three Cowboy wins in a row, Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders pole dancing in his 12,000 square foot man cave, and a brand new record-setting 12th facelift!!


Browns 27 at Vikings 21

Cleveland QB Mayfield completed 28 of 30 passes for 332 yards and 2 touchdowns!!  Tragically one of his passes fell incomplete when Baker hit a bird with one if his exit velocity 101.67 miles per hour throws!!  The bird exploded in pieces!!


Chiefs 35 at Eagles 27

Comparing the Cheifs QB Mahomes arm strength to Eagles QB Hurts arm strength is like comparing a roadrunner on fire chased by Wiley Coyote to a constipated tortoise!!


Bears 28 Lions 14

The Lions are playing for the Turkey Day game against the Vikings when they will tank the remainder of their games to get that first-round draft choice, Spencer Rattler!!  Upon drafting Rattler the Lions began tanking games for 2022!!


Cardinals 38 at LA Rams 34

Kyler Murray does have smallish 30-inch arms but can throw a football 80 yards on the fly while sitting on the ground!!  YPAL - Yards Per Arm Length rates Murray number 1 in the NFL!!


Have a great sports week!!


Bryan in Tulsa



Thursday, September 23, 2021

Next USC coach? No one cares......


Bryan in Tulsa


FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM



B in T Notes:


Fletcher's Corndogs Sold at OU Games!

World famous Fletchers Corndogs made its debut last week at the Sooner home opener!!  Almost 56,000 corndogs were sold by the third quarter!!  The batter for the corny dogs is said to be made from a corn maze and shrooms!!  This is only a rumor!!  TJ Perry and Toby Roland, famous radio hosts, were instrumental in bringing the Corny dogs to OU land!!  TJ worked out the contracts and Toby worked on the taste quality by testing over 100 Fletchers Corny dogs!  True shat!!



Bobblehead Sports:


B in T has experienced watching his grandson play in a local youth golf league this summer!!  My daughter Jordan played golf in high school and her team won a state championship!!  I, unfortunately, did not see any of her matches due to work!  Of course, my main reason is to take time to watch grandson Gus play golf and to tribute my daughter Jordan and her Golf State Championship at Cascia Hall!

Here are other reasons to watch golf in 100-degree heat!!

  • Work on tan!
  • Check out golf moms!
  • Get in good with my younger daughter!  I am in her dog house more than Jami’s!!
  • Make sure my son in law does not have wondering eyes on the golf course!
  • Sneak two Bud Lights in my mini cooler!
  • Look at the dads squirm as their son or daughter hit 5 in the water at Southern Hills!!
  • I am a little upset that the hot moms did not bring orange slices as they do for soccer!!



Slightly early B in T next Dallas Cowboy Coach Predictions!

  1. Lincoln Riley - states that this would be the only job he would leave Soonerville for or possibly Notre Dame!
  2. Bob Stoops - has to promise Jerry he will not hire brother Mike
  3. Barry Switzer - age in question but he is much more competent than half the NFL coaches and anyone on the current Cowboy staff!
  4. Billy Ray Cyrus - Jerry has a man-crush on him
  5. Luke Fickel Cincinnati - don't laugh
  6. Loren Montgomery Bixby - Coach Montgomery has half the penalties Dallas does in the last 3 years!  Jerry and Loren were seen at lunch at Roosevelt's in midtown Tulsa!



The early odds for the next Coach at USC:


  1. Gus Calzone UCF - 50/50
  2. James Franklin Penn State - 65/35
  3. Oregon coach what’s his name - 30/70
  4. Any ex USC dude whoever had anything to do with USC football - 1/99




New AAC candidates  


CBS Sports picks plus B in T long shot picks!


  • Air Force: Service academy partner with Navy, already an AAC member.
  • Boise State: Established football excellence. Possible travel partner for other Western candidates. Might have to decide between the AAC now or Big 12 down the line.
  • Colorado State: One of the best new stadiums in the country. The football program is struggling, and CSU doesn't exactly deliver the Denver market.
  • San Diego State: New stadium, beautiful city, West Coast talent. But if the AAC stays (somewhat) intact, why would SDSU leave the best remaining Group of Five league? Its only other option would be a Big 12 that wants to expand beyond 14. Travel would be an issue.
  • UAB: The city of Birmingham, coach Bill Clark and athletic director Mark Ingram deserve tremendous credit for making the program attractive since it was shut down in 2014.
  • FAU: A Sunshine State replacement for UCF. Lane Kiffin showed the Owls' potential winning two conference titles in three years.
  • UTSA: A rising program in a large market that would theoretically replace Houston in the state of Texas.

 

AAC Darkhorse- Appalachian State


B in T AAC Long shots:

  • Booker T Washington - great marching band and drill team
  • Union Redhawks - super new facilities
  • Owasso Rams - Coach Blankenship has Tulsa coaching experience
  • Jenks Trojans - some players are already working on NIL contracts with the AAC
  • Bixby Spartans - they seem to be waiting for a Power 5 conference



College Always Correct Picks:


Oklahoma 48 West Virginia 21

The Sooners Athletic department feels some heat from the Mountaineer folks.  The Sooner Schooner ran over the legs of the Mountaineer mascot Daniel Boone!  Both leg fibulas were broken with bones sticking out of flesh, not to be graphic!!  Numerous West Virginia hillbilly lawyers are in the process of representing Mr. Boone!!  Rattler seems to be sharper each week and his 78% completion percentage is 2nd nationally!!  


Tulsa 38 Arkansas St 31

Great game as several of the 10,000 plus fans stayed for the entire game!!  Arby’s has been a huge sponsor of the Golden Hurricane for centuries and recently created a new giveaway for 2021!!  In the 80s and 90s there were the famous Arby’s clickers of which I have 3 in my man cave!!  During the Arkansas State game there will be Arby’s Fun Bun Run and two TU employees dress up as Arbys buns and race!!  The bun stadium section that wins gets a free Double Roast Beef sandwich πŸ₯ͺ and 2 potato cakes!!  I shat u not!!  Tulsa QB Davis Brin has improved drastically from game one of this season!!  Brin throws for 3 touchdowns and 335 yards passing!!


Arkansas 24 Texas A&M 21

Broken Arrow’s own Myles Slusher had an interception pick for the Hogs to ice the game with 1 minute left!  Broken Arrow could use Myles right now!!  The A&M faithful were distraught as they left the stadium pelted by plastic hog hats!!


Iowa State 27 at Baylor 20

Nice win for Clone coach Matt Campbell as he flies back to Waco from a Pasadena (USC) job interview!!  My sources are telling me that a 200 million dollars 12-year contract is being discussed!!  My sources are normally correct when sober!!


Wisconsin 24 Notre Dame 13

This game is played at Soldier Field in Chicago with ESPN Gameday, Fox Sports Gameday, and B in T Game Pregame making an appearance!!!  Coach Dikta will be the GUEST PICKER!!

The Badgers smash-mouthed the Irish and numerous Notre Dame fans were upset that Wisconsin did not allow their 42 piece jazz band at the game!!  They offered them a small stage to play outside of the Soldier stadium but this only angered the Irish!!


Oklahoma State 31 Kansas State 24

Several Cowboy Posse Club members were irate that Coach Gundy did not allow their pregame walk on the field for the first time in years!  In spite, younger Posse Club members went on the field during the game and were sent to the stadium jail!!  The first of three Presley brothers to play for OSU caught 6 passes for 172 yards and 3 touchdowns!!  His YAC numbers lead the nation (yards after catch - YAC)!


Texas 38 Texas Tech 23

The Longhorns have taken the advice of B in T and started Casey Thompson from New Castle, Oklahoma at QB!!  Casey Is the son of former OU QB Charles Thompson!  He will be licking his chops to beat OU in the Red River Rivalry unless Sarkesian benches him!!


High School Always Correct Picks:


Collinsville 45 Hale 24

In the 70s the Hale Ranger JV would beat Collinsville by 50 and then bring the Whitney Junior High boys in to finish the second half!!  True shat, Google it!!


Bixby 56 at Bartlesville 14

Bartlesville homecoming and I must say why in the name of the Loren Montgomery statue outside the gates of Spartan Stadium, would any team schedule their homecoming against Bixby???!!!  


Mom O Meter  Bartlesville Moms .989 Bixby Moms.980   This was possibly the most exciting, down to the wire competition in years!  The competition came to the final event of the day - Calf fries frying!!  The Bixby moms used the Walmart Market calf fry kit while the Bartlesville moms used their secret recipe with cayenne pepper and shrooms!!  Amazing balls frying and the win goes to the Bruin Moms!!


B in T Diner of the Week:

Murphy's Original Steakhouse - 1625 SW Phillips Blvd., Claremore -  the brown gravy at Murphy’s was rated number 1 in the nation according to a panel of gravy experts in 2019!!  Popstar Dua lipa and boyfriend Megadeath lead singer, Dango stopped there for Murphy’s calf fries during the pandemic!!  Google it!


Broken Arrow 46 at Westmore 12

Broken Arrow is due a blowout game and the crowd was chanting bring back David A., please!!  Myles Slusher did not attend this game.  He stayed home and watched NCIS with his parents before carrying the Razorbacks to another victory!!


Jenks 52 Enid 18

Jenks's new freshman QB Heilig passed for 340 yards and evidently threw a pass 80 yards in the air ala Michael Vick!!  San Jose State and recently TU have offered this young man a scholarship!!  

****************ALERT****************

PUMPKIN MAN SPOTTED IN DOWNTOWN JENKS!!!!

Pumpkin Man was caught on camera putting cannabis candy in the downtown Jenks Christmas decorations which will be ceremoniously turned on November 2nd this year!!


Owasso 37 at Union 20

The new Owasso double-decker travel bus which was recently purchased by Owasso County Bond 6969 came in handy for the long trip from Owasso to Union!!  After stopping at the halfway point at Mohawk Park for a sack lunch the boys continued to 67th and Memorial and kicked some butt!!


Cushing 38 Tuttle 34

Tuttle is known as the house that Heisman Trophy QB Jason White built!!  Nephew Caleb had another super game!  The young man had 8 tackles at the half but had to sit on the bench in the third quarter for talking to cheerleaders at halftime!!  Heck I knew not to do that Caleb, actually I could not get them to talk to me at all!!!!  Junior QB Berkowitz, again no relation to the son of Sam dude, we think, had 399 yards passing and 4 touchdowns!!


McAlester 28 at Bishop Kelley 17

BK could be 0-6!!  We need some hail Mary’s coach Tapana!!


Wagoner 42 Cleveland 21

Wagoner coach Cundiff once was offered the Cleveland job and turned it down saying ‘I am waiting for the Cleveland Browns offer’!!!  


Cascia Hall 38 Heavener 6

The Heavener moms arrived in Tulsa early to head to Utica Square and Queenies for lunch!!  The ladies were upset about the slow service (a few headed to Wendy’s) and a Cascia mom covered the tab!!  True story!!


Tonkawa 35 Morrison 31

Tonkawa and Morrison have had class A 

championships a few times and could be in the mix this year!!


Blackwell 27 Luther 16

The name Luther is not only a high school football team nicknamed the Lions but also a cousin!!  Luther Grits is on my great aunt Ethel's side of the family and was notorious for being a partier🍺 in the 60s!!  The Maroons from Blackwell and Luther both agreed to end the game by 9:30 pm for the moms to get their rest for the Kay County Fair Championship bake-off!!  True shat!!  Let's hear it for the Kay County moms!!



Pro Always Correct Picks:


Texans 35 Panthers 23

The Texans and QB Tyrod Taylor are much better than the Houston sportswriters predicted!!  Many media mouths had the Texans picked 27th out of 30!!  Tyrod can still ball!


Browns 45 Bears 17

These two teams are going in opposite directions!  The Bears might be stealing the OKC Thunder tanking model!!  Lose and get a top-three pick in 2022!!


Chiefs 36 Chargers 24

Tight end Kelce wrastled an Alaskan brown bear at halftime and then caught two touchdowns in the second half!!  WWE sponsored the wrestling event!


Cardinals 38 at Jaguars 21

Zaven Collins and his big brother mentor J.J. Watt went out for a very special treat after the game!!  Zaven had 10 tackles and a sack, so JJ took him to Braums for a quadruple stacked Banana split!!


Cowboys 34 Eagles 28

Eagles QB Jalen Hurts tries to imitate his idle Dak Prescott but comes up short as Dak throws for 555 yards!!



Have a great sports week!


Bryan in Tulsa


FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM





B, in T

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Wednesday, September 15, 2021

TU vs OSU Part II

 

Bryan in Tulsa


FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM


Bobblehead Sports:


Over the last few years, my grandson Gus and I have dared TU football to win a miracle game!!  After a long discussion with Gus, we have agreed to run in our underwear (we both have matching Avenger undies, boys medium, and size 52 5XL) Saturday night if TU beats the mighty Buckeyes!!  The location is TBD, to be determined!!  Go, Cane!


B in T Notes:


Fantasy Football Draft Notes:

I slept through my once every 3 years Fantasy Draft with my son Lance and my inlaws!  Ouch, Wednesday I had a day from hell at the Center and then a two-hour nap put me late to the fantasy football frolic!!  Then a miracle happened and my team was on auto-draft and my QB is Dak Prescott!!!  I'm in first place and I did not fricking know I had a team!!  I love football πŸˆ and the autumn πŸ‚ season!!


Sports interest at the Center is average with around 25 views a month

I occasionally like to look at the number of views to our Center Facebook each month to see what the trends and interests may be.  Here are last months Top 3:

  1. Commander and Cheif - Wendi updates on Coronavirus- 51 views
  2. Sherri (controversy queen) issues with the new giant rock garden around the building!! - 43 views
  3. Bryan’s pedicure with giant toe painted TU blue and gold!! - 42 views 

I am very bored today!

Do I need a brownie?  Hehe he!!


New Nickname:

I like Redhawks as the new Union high school logo!!  This stands out more than Union Pipeliners 798 or the Union Train Stations!


B in T to cover more high school girls wrestling!!

The fastest-growing sport in Tulsa high schools is women's wrestling!!!


B in T NCAA Football Top 4:

  1. Alabama
  2. Alabama 
  3. Alabama
  4. Georgia


More Bobblehead Sports:


Pass it On!!

My brother Tre is very good about not cussing!  The phrase he would use to replace a bad word was ‘punch a bunny’!!  While hanging with my grandson Gus I became angered and used the ‘70s slang ‘that makes me want to punch a bunny’ while watching the OU - Tulane game!!  Gus heard this term and loved it!!  The phrase was uttered a few times in front of mother Maddie that afternoon and was immediately nixed!!  I had no idea that my daughter was a bunny advocate!!  Geeeeeeeeesh!!


Pumpkin Man Sighting!

Pumpkin Man was seen at a Canibus Store next to my Center home on 7th and Utica!!  He purchased a U-Haul full of edible candy and brownies for good high schoolers at Halloween!!  πŸŽƒ πŸŽƒπŸŽƒπŸŽƒπŸŽƒπŸŽƒπŸŽƒπŸŽƒπŸŽƒπŸ­πŸ­πŸ­πŸ­πŸ­πŸ­πŸ­πŸ­Can't wait for Halloween!!!


College Picks:


Illinois 30 Maryland 24

Maryland is a stepping stone for Illinois to be bowl-bound for the first time since George Washington chopped down the stupid cherry tree!!  Why do you need an ax to chop down a 4-foot tall cherry tree?!  The Illini had 265 yards rushing and needs to continue to lean on the rushing game!  If a Bret Belima coached D gives up 37 points to a directional school again he will perform spontaneous human combustion on the practice field!!  True shat!


Oklahoma 56 Nebraska 3

Oklahoma defense finally gets its balls πŸˆ back in hand!!  Rumor has it the Nebraska coach Frosty’s computer outbox has 322 resumes sent!!  Also when Dallas coach McCarthy is fired midseason, Coach Riley’s resume update computer folder will be full!!


Texas A&M 69 New Mexico 17

A very, very unknown fact regarding the Lobos of New Mexico is that they were named after Lobos Tequilla 1707!!  Google it!!  I swear!!  The new gig for the Aggie fans is after each point, not touchdown they must kiss their spouse, date  or person sitting to their left!!


Cincinnati 36 at Indiana 28

Reportedly Cincinnati has refused the Big 12 offer and has applied to the NFC East!!


Alabama 38 at Florida 21

Bama QB Bryce Young has a NIL deal that will pay for his grandkid's college tuition!!  True shat!!  He also just shot a commercial with Coach Grumpy Saban's new Chevrolet dealership!!  Three hours after the commercial aired, the NCAA investigators and the FBI were at Nick’s office doorstep!!


Ohio State 31 Tulsa 17

If you bring those Buckeye dudes to Tulsa and play in front of 11k fans at Chapman we will show those 4 and 5-star OSU players the meaning of fear!!  Really folks, let's just take the 1.3 million for playing in Columbus and relax and watch the game on TV with a Margarita!!  Quit talking about a return game at Chapman!!  Several Tulsa fans visited BrewDog USA the top bar food in Columbus!!  Correct Mr. York?  Brewdog is known for its Shroom Burgers which can make you feel like you are on clouds high up in the air!!  And we do mean high!!  TU defense keeps them in the game but O was a no show!


**********Upset Special***********

Kansas 27 Baylor 24

The Jayhawks pulled off the greatest upset since Kansas and QB Nolan Cromwell led KU to a 23-3 victory over Oklahoma!!  After this historic win, a Kansas Dean of colleges whose names are foreign to me, recommended closing school Monday AND making Monday a statewide holiday!!  Thanks, Dr. Wehmeyer!!  Who happens to be a friend of Faked Out Sports!!


Arkansas 52 Georgia Southern 13

The Razorback fans are in rare form as they call the hogs so rhythmically that actual hogs start coming to Don W. Reynolds Stadium!  Google it!


Oklahoma State 31 at Boise State 30

Boise State players hugged the Cowboy players as they entered the stadium to show solidarity for their entry into the Big 12 Conference!!  Bronco fans wept!!  Oklahoma State running back La’Darren Brown ran over two tacklers and a Cowboy cheerleader to score the winning touchdown as time expired!!


Penn State 42 Auburn 22

The Nittanies will defeat the Tigers whose new coach Bryan Harsin thinks the vaccines for Covid are made out of Alien piss is not liked by many and liked by Less than Zero!!


High School Picks:


Bixby 38 Stillwater 31

Stillwater super star nose guard Daeson Simpkins, you guessed it, is related to Mrs. B in T's relatives in Blackwell!!  The 5’11” 280-pound nose guard once ate an entire roadkill Armadillo at a dare from another Stillwater lineman!!  Bixby has kids being recruited by several Power 5 conferences and some NFL teams!!  No shat, Google it!  Go Stillwater!



Cushing 34 at Berryhill 13

Downtown Berryhill was very hoppin as the big Cushing game and the Quilt Festival was the same weekend!!

Cushing LB and B in T nephew Caleb wanted to get his team fired πŸ”₯ up at the Thursday dinner so he had two super burritos from Mi Casa Mexican Grill!!  He followed with a fried ghost pepper flown in from Guadalupe!!  He made 11 tackles against Berryhill!!  I shat you not!!  


Holland Hall 38 at Metro Christian 28

This is known as the battle of southside hot moms!!  The Holland Hall moms are ranked 23rd in the USA Today national hot moms poll!!


Owasso 41 Broken Arrow 28

The Ram Booster Club organized a pancake flip-off breakfast and invited Tiger fans on gameday morning!!  Lots of laughs as Owasso Coach Blankenship had three hot pancakes land on his head!!  A hot batter pancake fight broke out between the Assistant Coaches at Owasso!!  At this point Coach B put three assistants in timeout!  The talent on the Ram defense is so talented that they can almost coach themselves!!  In fact, defensive coaches during pregame warmups let the players coach while they smoke stogies!  Just kidding!



BTW 62 Edison 14

Booker T all-everything back Micah Tease had his projected NIL money reportedly at 100k if he attends Alabama and 125k if he attends Oklahoma with a 25k National Imaging Likeness (NIL) bonus if sponsor Charlies Chicken sells 50k of their new spicy chicken gizzards!



Tonkawa 34 at Blackwell 27

********** BREAKING NEWS**********

ANOTHER PUMPKIN MAN SIGHTING AT BLACKWELL VS TONKAWA!UNBELIEVABLE!! 

Numerous folks at the Blackwell Stadium swore they saw a helicopter but instead, it was a flying Pumpkin man throwing out edibles to the Blackwell student section!!  Tight game but Tonkawa ruins Blackwell’s homecoming!!


Wagoner 38 Sperry 6

Wagoner takes out Sperry with a solid running game!!  The Bulldog defense has been resurrected since the loss in the opener!!  

Mom-O-Meter  Sperry .979 Wagoner .970 

These moms are so competitive that during the three-legged potato sack race Sperry moms requested a retake of the Wagoner mom's drug tests!!  Truth!!


B in T Diner of the week- 

Smoke Sisters BBQ on Main -  

Best BBQ this side of Kansas City and you guessed it, on Main street Wagoner!!

The restaurant is known for its smoked bologna which uses wood flown in from the Red Wood Forest!!  Folks in Wagoner say that former President George W. Bush’s security team once ordered 20lbs of bologna!!  The entire security staff and George W. were full of bologna!!  Hahaha!!


Pro Picks:


Browns 31 Texans 21

Texas backup QB Josh McCown has played for 12 different teams in over 19 years in the NFL!!  McCown was pressed into service when Tyrod Taylor pulled a hamstring getting Gatorade!  A month ago McCown was selling Progressive Insurance in Queens, and received a call from his agent that the Texans need a quarterback!  Baker’s team was way too good today and the king of gab completed 21 of 31 for 345 yards and 2 touchdowns!!


Cowboys 34 at Chargers 27

Dak was on schedule to throw 60 passes against the Chargers until teammate Ezekiel Elliott started fighting Dak for the pigskin at the snap!!  True deal!!  I promise!!  Before the incident, Eze had 2 caries for -1 yards, after - 9 carries for 89 yards!!


Ravens 28 Chiefs 24

The Ravens are at home and if the Chiefies were at home the score would be the opposite!!  Make note this pick strategy is the why B in T is 99.8 percent accurate!!  


Bears 34 Bengals 21

The rumor mill is swirling that da Bears are attempting to sign Mitch Trubinsky back and bring Mike Dikta in again as head coach!!  Dikta is 89 and feels like a spring chicken when he is regular!!  Mr. Bob Curran, Lambda Chi EY 31 from TU, was instrumental in getting Mr. Dikta hired by simply marrying his daughter Syfullis Jane in 1991!!  Bears defeat the Bengals in a foot of snow!!


Have a great sports week!!


Bryan in Tulsa


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