Faked Out Sports - Bryan in Tulsa
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Elf on the Shelf:
The E on the S was spotted on the back of Santa's Sleigh by thousands of children all over Northeast Oklahoma on Christmas Eve night!! Several adults saw the super Elf throwing out edible brownies but none of the local TV crews could confirm or get the little Elf on camera!! Magic North Pole dust usually is spread all over the world by Santa Christmas Eve but with the Pandemic, brownies were used instead!! See ya next year Elf on the Shelf!!ππππππππππππππ
FOS Notes:
FOS Top Christmas Toy Gifts in the 60s:
Hot Wheels- had thousands of these little cars!
G.I. Joe- oh yeah!
Electric Football- nerds only!
Twister- lots of fun with girls!
Operation- you can get electric shock by this stupid game!
Battleship- remember ’you sunk my battlship’ commercials!
Chemistry Set- learned how to lite farts with this fun set!
FOS Top Christmas Toy Gifts of the 70s:
Lite-Brite- boring
Walkie-talkie Set- cool spy games stuff!
Took Toy Trucks- still cool shat! Granddaughter lives these trucks now!!
Pet Rock- toys for future hippies!
FOS Top Christmas Toy Gifts in the 80s:
Rubiks Cube- still popular for the Brainiac crowd!
BMX Bike- cool bike!
Cabbage Patch Kids- squiiishy!
Transformers- became really popularly in the 21st century!
Jenga- still popular with young and old!!
FOS Top Christmas Toy Gifts in the 90s:
Ninja Turtles
Gameboy
Batman Batmobile
Barbie Dream House- this took 3 hours to assemble Christmas Eve!!
Power Rangers
FOS Top 8 Excuses for Weight Gain:
There is a lot of calories in alcohol!
Quarantined in your home gives you the time to find the food you have hidden from the kids!! ie: giant bag of Christmas M&Ms!! These were from LAST year!!
Walmart Bakery delivers!!!!!!
Too many of Jami’s special brownies!!
Waiting for the next Opra diet!
Exercising in the middle of a pandemic may cause side effects according to Dr. Faucci!!
Shhhh........Don’t tell anyone but I signed up for a virtual 5k and I just watched the zoom and drank egg nogg!!
FOS Coaches hot seat or recently canned:
Auburn’s Gus Malzahn - fired
Illinois’ Lovie Smith - fired
Arizona Kevin Sumlin - fired
Michigan Jim Harbaugh - Michigan averageness continues - should be fired
South Carolina Will Muschamp - fired
Possible replacements:
Hugh Freeze, Liberty- possible for numerous jobs but packing some extra baggage!
Shane Beamer- OU assistant is new coach at South Carolina
Clark Lea - Notre Dame O - line coach is now head Coach at Vandy
Blake Anderson from Arkansas State is Utah State new coach
Butch Jones - one of 34 assistant coaches at Alabama is the new Arkansas State coach
Steve Sarkisian - Offensive Coordinator Alabama - top prospect Auburn
Art Briles - a long shot for Auburn from a high school somewhere in Texas!
Mario Crystalballs - Oregon coach- a hot commodity among Auburn folks!
Lane Kiffin leaves Ole Miss to coach Auburn?!?!
Former Arkansas head coach Brett Bielema is under consideration for the Illinois head-coaching position!!
FOS College Bowl Picks:
New Mexico Bowl
Houston 38 Hawaii 24
Hawaii coach Todd ’Tasmanian Devil’ Graham against Houston coach Dana ’half a mullet’ Holgersen will show numerous temper tantrums on the sidelines!! The game has been moved to Frisco, Texas for Covid 19 reasons and a small sponsorship from the Frisco Railways of a million!!
Team Gifts: Model Frisco train set to place under each player's Christmas π tree!! An authentic stuffed Gila Monster which is a popular pet in Albuquerque, New Mexico!!
Cure Bowl
Liberty vs. Coastal Carolina
Coastal Carolina 46 Liberty 28
Liberty he'd coach Hugh Freeze, after the loss, announced that he had accepted the head coaching gig with the Dallas Cowboys!! Jerry Jones was unaware of this!
Player Gifts: Outdoor waders pants for each player, fly fishing rod and reel and a PlayStation 5! Some of the players responded with wtf are these things when seeing their waders!
Cheez-It Bowl
Oklahoma State vs. Miami
Camping World Stadium (Orlando, Florida)
Oklahoma State 35 Miami 31
TMZ is reporting that that 10 Miami players were placed into Disney World jail for public drunk in Epcot!! Nothing changes with the Hurricanes!!
Player Gifts: A year's supply of Cheeze-Zits, Magic Kingdom family passes for 4 on July 5 only, and tickets to an Orlando|OKC basketball game!
Valero Alamo Bowl
Texas vs. ColoradoAlamodome (San Antonio)
Texas 34 Colorado 24
Texas coach Herman was succumbed by by a virus and not allowed to coach!! Of course, the Shorthorns won!
Player Gifts: Detailed replica of the actual Alamo equipped with 56 Alamo soldiers and 500 Mexican troops, free food, and Margaritas at the Naked Iguana on the Riverwalk, and a retro 1986 Panasonic radio!
TransPerfect Music City Bowl
Nissan Stadium (Nashville, Tennessee)
Missouri 38 Iowa 28
The Hawkeyes and their boring offense eventually ran out of surprise tight end formations and were defeated by the Tigers!!
Player Gifts: Tickets to the Little Opry performance of Willie Nelson and the Branson Ballnobbers!! Coupons for any microwave oven made by Kenmore in the only remaining Sears store in Nashville!! Pandemic times thus we save our dimes!
FOS College Basketball Picks:
Tulsa 75 Houston 70
Houston coach Sampson is one of the top recruiters in the American Athletic Conference!! New recruits like his denim shirts and Nike shoe deals!! If only he could coach!
Arkansas 77 at Auburn 72
I love the Razorback coach and Auburn coach car salesman, Bruce Pearl!! Stay away from the tanning beds Bruce!
Illinois 68 Indiana 60
Illinois coach Brad Underwear spent an 8-month stint at Oklahoma State!! This was enough time to get the Cowboys put on probation and thank you very little!!
He has some athletes on his 12th ranked Fighting Illini!
FOS NFL Picks:
Chiefs 82 Falcon 21
The Cheifs can beat the Falcons with their eyes closed! So QB Maholmes went 3 for 4 passing and 1 touchdown with his eyes wide shut!!
Brown 42 at Jets 13
Baker and the Browns are in line for a good wild card spot in the playoffs!!
The Jets are in line to get Clairol QB Trevor Lawrence!!
Cowboys 31 Eagles 27
The Cowboys are looking good for a high draft pick!! Zaven Collins from Tulsa would be my pick!! Please keep the Jones father and son Draft disaster out of the Cowboy Draft Room!! PLEASE!! Send them to a Dallas honky-tonk!
Bears 31 at Jaguars 17
Bears π» QB Trubnsky is the reincarnation of Brett Favre one weekend and old Miami Dolphins kicker Garo Yepremian the following week!!
Have a great sports week!!
FOS- Bryan in Tulsa
B, in T |
2 comments:
Merry Christmas to the ENTIRE staff of Faked Out Sports. Now go eat a brownie.
Back at you!! And have a wonderful sports and Coronavirus-less New Year!!
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