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FOS Notes ’bout Nuthin:
FOS Top 10 Pandemic Movies:
- World War Z - Brad Pitt becomes invisible to zombies and saves the world! He is not invisible to alimony and child support, just these zombies!!
- The Happening 2013 - Stars Mark Wahlberg and Zoey Deschanel!! Did I did not know that was Zoey, until I watched the flick for the third time!! This thriller has a family that avoids a virus that makes town folks become suicidal!! They will run in front of lawn mowers, cars, semis, tanks, and submarines!! Interesting plot but not a good show for children!! This flick was one of the worst pandemic movies according to most rankings but B in T loved the complicated plot! Ha, sarcasm!
- Outbreak - Dustin Hoffman’s discovers that the virus comes from monkey butts! Disgusting but intriguing pandemic movie!!
- 28 Weeks Later - Zombie show filmed in an empty London!
- Zombieland - Woody Harelson saves the world from zombies with his shotgun and his bad Texas accent!
- It Comes at Night - This movie came out in 2017! Mrs B in T and I watched this together on Netflix last week! Scared the shat out of both of us!! Average ending though!
- I Am Legend - Will Smith is a scientist who lives alone with his dog and a billion zombies that come out at night!! The song ’Freaks Come Out at Night’ originated with this flick!!
- Cabin Fever 2002 - College kids on spring break discover a flesh-eating virus!! Once infected they feeling is like a crack cocaine rush times 10!
- Crazies 2009 - Timothy Oliphant takes charge as Sheriff of Crazyville where their friends come over for dinner and try to eat the town Sherriff and his wife!
- Andromeda Strain 1971 - This strain breaks out in a small town and starts similarly to the current Coronavirus! Very old and classic epidemic movie!
Kansas Football and Basketball Coaches are Taking 10% Pay Cuts!!
KU basketball coach Bill Self and football coach Les Miles have agreed to take a pay cut in 2020-21 season!! Coach Hollywood Self, as he was known in Tulsa, wanted to make sure the his current players including Tulsa’s favorite son Bryson Thompson would not take a pay cut at this time!! Coach Self also mentioned that the new likeness rights fees from the NCAA do not affect his team simply because the Kansas current 5-star blue chip package pays much, much more!!
FOS 2020 Top 5 Most Over-Rated Football Teams:
- Michigan - Coach Harbaugh was scheduled to take his entire team, team support, and families to Paris for light practices and banter!! This was punted due to Coronavirus!! Not the same on Zoom Zoom with pictures of the Eiffel Tower in the background!
- Texas - For the last 10 years, the Texas Longhorns have been on this shat hole of a list!! For the last 10 years, they have had a top recruiting class but no results! Now they have Coach Hermann - SSDD - Same Shat Different Day!
- Notre Dame - Nothing has been the same since the loss to Tulsa and our band played it's fight song during the Irish alma mater!
- USC - Coach Helton is under the booster guillotine one more time!! Last big victory was against San Jose State!
- Cascia Hall - The Hall constantly underachieving with all those private school athletes!! I think they are dropping to Class A this year but watch out for Tonkawa!! C’mon funky co-medina!
FOS 5 Top Coaches 39 Years and Younger:
- Lincoln Riley - Oklahoma - 36 - Coach could be Governor of Oklahoma if he wanted! Big pay cut!
- Mike Norvell - Florida State - 38 - Could be next hot NFL coaching prospect!!
- P.J. Fleck - Minnesota - 39 - Head coach at Western Michigan for a while. Success in Minnesota makes him a hot commodity!!
- Jake Spavital - Texas State - 34 - Spavital mentored with offensive guru Dana Holgerson at West Virginia! Should be a head coach in Power 5 conference in 3 years!! Union High, Tulsa Oklahoma alum!!
- Will Healey - Charlotte - 35 - Second youngest coach in FBS. Coached at Austin Peay before Charlotte and the 49ers have become one of the top teams in conference USA!! The biggies will snap him up quickly!!
FOS Top 5 Coronavirus Tailgate Parties 2020:
- Green Bay Packers - The Packers draft was rotten Limburger 🧀 cheese but their virtual tailgate party in late April was smooth like Kraft Cheese spread!! Brett Favre was a participant and wore his green Packer undies with his Packer mask!
- Oklahoma Sooners - The Sooner tailgate party was outside an empty Gaylord Sartain Stadium (as an 11-time stroke survivor I sometimes get names confused) and participants stayed over 10-foot University distance stated in the 13-page Coronavirus tailgate guidelines! The event was sponsored by Zoom, Inc., and Johnsonville Brats and featured REO Speedwagon, The Eagles, Boston, Beyonce, Earth Wind, and Fire, Post Malone, Pharrell, and Boxcar Willie, all on a Zoom simulcast!
- Oklahoma State Cowboys - Garth Brooks performs and Eskimo Joes supplies the food for 50,000 fans in orange and black with each tailgate apparatus ten feet apart!! And Pistal Pete masks will be worn by everyone!!
- Arkansas Razorbacks - The home opener will be in Fayetville at Reynolds Razorback Stadium against Nevada!! This trial event will have folks in the stadium sitting 6 feet away with matching Coronavirus Hog masks and Hog hats!!
- Tulsa Golden Hurricane - Chapman Stadium will host the Toledo Rockets and will have the TU fans sitting 6 feet apart, in Hurricane Clear plastic wind funnels!! True shat, Google it!!
Faked Out Sports In The Not So Distant Future:
Abundant Supply of Petrified Properly Textured Cow Chips in Oklahoma due to Coronavirus!!
The 2020 National Cow 🐂 Chip Throwing Contest in Beaver, Oklahoma has been canceled!! No shat!! A very sad day for the small town of Beaver in the panhandle of Oklahoma!! Approximately 3,500 unused cow chips are ready for throwing in Beaver, Oklahoma!! The only other widely known cow chip throwing contest is scheduled for September 4th and 5th in Prairie du sac, Wisconsin!! This famous chip throwing contest is the Wisconsin State Cow Chip Throw and Festival and is still on schedule!! The Festival is attended by approximately 40,000 people and features entertainment, arts and crafts fair, food booths, 5k & 10k run, nude mud wrestling, bong making, and much more! We may not be the #1 festival, but we're a solid #2 to Beaver, Oklahoma!! Good news: The Beaver Mayor agreed to send a thousand petrified cow chips to Wisconson via UPS!! In September 2019 Champion, Dimpy Corndodger from Balls, Wisconsin will attempt to defend his title despite a toe fungus!! The ESPN Cow Chip Tossing Channel has agreed to televise the finals on Saturday!! FOS and B in T field reporter Leon Zink III will be there for both days!! This is all factual shat!
The 2020 National Cow 🐂 Chip Throwing Contest in Beaver, Oklahoma has been canceled!! No shat!! A very sad day for the small town of Beaver in the panhandle of Oklahoma!! Approximately 3,500 unused cow chips are ready for throwing in Beaver, Oklahoma!! The only other widely known cow chip throwing contest is scheduled for September 4th and 5th in Prairie du sac, Wisconsin!! This famous chip throwing contest is the Wisconsin State Cow Chip Throw and Festival and is still on schedule!! The Festival is attended by approximately 40,000 people and features entertainment, arts and crafts fair, food booths, 5k & 10k run, nude mud wrestling, bong making, and much more! We may not be the #1 festival, but we're a solid #2 to Beaver, Oklahoma!! Good news: The Beaver Mayor agreed to send a thousand petrified cow chips to Wisconson via UPS!! In September 2019 Champion, Dimpy Corndodger from Balls, Wisconsin will attempt to defend his title despite a toe fungus!! The ESPN Cow Chip Tossing Channel has agreed to televise the finals on Saturday!! FOS and B in T field reporter Leon Zink III will be there for both days!! This is all factual shat!
Words of wisdom from the unwise one: DO NOT read Faked Out Sports high!
Have a great sports free week!
FOS/B in T
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B, in T
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