Faked Out Sports: January 2020

Sunday, January 26, 2020

College Football Coaching Shuffle!

FOS/B in T

FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

FOS Notes ’bout Nuthin!

College Coaching Caravan Shuffle is No Icky Shuffle but INTERESTING!!

The latest shuffles:

The wild dude shuffle- Coach Mike Leach left ho-hum Washington State to Mississippi State of the big stoic SEC!!

The preppy shuffle- Coach Lane Kiffin and his hot wife left Florida Atlantic to coach the Ole Miss Rebels of the nonpreppy SEC world!!

The Carolina connection shuffle- The new hot coach in college football, Matt Ruhle from Baylor, is headed to the NFL Carolina Panthers!! Fast lane for coach Ruhle!!

The Huskie re-shuffle- Defensive Coordinator Jimmy Lake replaces Washington’s Peterson who resigned!

The Seminole Shuffle- Florida State hired Mike Novell from Memphis of the AAC coach grooming conference!

The Razorback Shuffle-The Hogs hired Sam Pittman who was the highest-paid offensive line coach in college football from Georgia!! Top-notch recruiter!!

The Florida Atlantic Shuffle- FAU hired Willie Taggert and will be looking for another coach in two years!!

The Big Bad Baylor Bears Shuffle- David Aranda who was the LSU National Champion defensive coordinator, will put his signature on the Big 12 Conference!!

The Aloha Shuffle- Todd Graham, former TU coach, will go to Hawaii and bark out orders there!! The Tasmanian devil is BACK!

Special B in T Announcement:

Megan and Harry will be spending a weekend this summer at the B in T home!! The Royal family will be going to a Driller baseball game and having Mrs. B in T's famous hamburgers on the Hasty-Bake!! Their security detail (Coweta Sherriffs Department) will sleep in the kid's room with the X-box!!

Super Bowl Pick:

Chiefs 31 49ers 27

The Chiefs and the Mahomes to Kelce 2 touchdowns defeated the 49ers Garoppollo to Kittle 1 touchdown!! The half time show of Jennifer Lopez and Shakira was so hot the men over 60 years of age had to use protective eyewear!! JLo's hubby, Alex Rodriguez was a background dancer for the halftime gig!! Rodriguez went unnoticed by the pumped-up crowd; which is a good thing!! Upon receiving the Super Bowl MVP Trophy, Mahomes looked at the camera and said ’Let's go to Dolly World!’ in his Mickey Mouse voice!!

FOS College Basketball Picks!

Texas Tech 77 at Kansas 75 2OTs

Kansas goes down at home as numerous students in the Allen Field House were left crying from the exhaustion of a double-overtime game!! The KU professor section was able to take a short nap and go outside and smoke a cigar due to the length of the game!! The Tech nobodies were able to beat the Kansas 5 star some bodies!!

Auburn 84 Kentucky 81

Coach Calipari has requested highway patrolman to escort him to and from his seat at the Auburn arena!! This is a new trend to keep up with the popular SEC football coaching arrangements!! Highway patrolmen are now being discussed for the Kentucky Volleyball, Softball and Rowing coaches!! Google it!

Oklahoma 74 Oklahoma State 70

Top Dog, the OU mascot returns after 12 years and gets the into a skirmish with Pistol Pete before tipoff!! Both mascots were embarrassed about the amount of ESPN TV coverage they were not getting! OU’s Top Dog is handled by a professional dancer from New York named Tongavillarial who played in Cats, Hamilton and Peter Pan on Broadway! OU Top Dog mascot is always the Top Dog at the Norman Lloyd Noble Arena!! But when Pistol Petey arrived with his big head and the big pistol the mascot rumble was on!! Too Dog took a water pistol and started shooting at the giant paper mache head until it softened to a Burger King 🍔man face! Scary!!

Tulsa 71 Wichita State 59

Tulsa again is lethal at home and the Shockers were ranked 27th nationally until their trip to the Reynolds Center!! Mrs. B in T is a Shocker alum and must cook me breakfast for a week if my ’Cane win!! Pop-Tarts for the victor!!

Arkansas 67 at Alabama 62

The Razorback fans are already looking at NCAA tournament projections with the Hogs all the way up to a 5th seed by Jerry Palm!! This road win can catapult the team that wins to a solid upper-tier finish in the SEC!!

Oral Roberts 77 Denver 61

The Denver Pioneers, not the Nuggets, are at the bottom of the Summit League and should be a solid pick to lose to ORU!! ORU big man Nzekiwese pulled down 13 rebounds and Sophomore big man Obanor continues to improve his inside scoring!! Easy win!

Arkansas 80 Auburn 75

The Bud Walton Arena will be packed with the entire student section wearing plaid jackets in honor of Auburn coach Bruce Pearl!! Coach Pearl is the only Division 1 coach that can coach a game and 1 hour later sell a 2012 Ford Taurus with 200,000 miles on the speedometer!! True that!

Words of wisdom from the unwise one!! The term snizzle is a meteorologist’s made-up word for rain drizzle and snow!! For rizzle!

Have a great sports week!

Soonerpolitics.com

B, in T

Sponsors:

Tuesday, January 21, 2020

Get Back Coaches! and Big 12-SEC Picks

FOS/B in T

FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

FOS Notes ’bout Nuthin:

GET BACK COACHES??!! Are you joking?? COACHES hired to pull back other coaches from getting a penalty flag?!

I would think that the coaches at Clemson, Georgia and the Los Angeles Rams could simply wield a certain bit of restraint rather than create another coaching position!! There is always a chance that a Get Back Coach could accidentally pull down the coach's pants or disconnect a headphone cable and cause mass confusion!! The Get Back coach is mainly responsible for keeping the main coach or dude who thinks he is important enough to have a Get Back Coach by grabbing him throughout the game to make sure

he does not do one of the following:

Get flagged for being on the field of play!
Spit on the Referee!
Make sure he is hydrated!
Make sure he does not trip over electric cords hanging on his head!
Make sure the over-exaggerated coach does not try to get in the field to make a jarring tackle!!

Top Get Back Coaches in 2019:

Brent Venables- Defensive Coordinator Clemson- he once jumped on the field and ate a division III player!
Sean McVay- Head Coach Los Angeles Rams. This seems to be just for show since this little fellow is not very scary looking!

FOS Fun Facts:

-England's First Family has entered the famous transfer portal!! Hehehehe!

-Mike Leach is the new coach of Mississippi State! I love this man! He believes in UFOs, crop circles and can turn an interview into a comedy club!! Having Coach Leach will offset grumpy Saban in the SEC! Coach Leach and preppy Lane Kiffon coaching in the same state and SEC could be dangerous!

-Get Back Coaches are needed in youth sports for all parent coaches who exaggerate the significance of a bad call in a 3rd-grade football game!! Get Back Coaches should be get a life coaches!!

-The Texas Tech basketball team is having great success with Chris Beard as their coach. The team has almost 16 men suited up for each game, plus the trainers!! The Texas Tech suit allowance for assistant coaches is $1,000 a month between 16 coaches!! A poultry $62.50 dollars a month per coach!! Coach Beards girlfriend Randi Trew agreed to do the sewing for $150,000 a year!! Umm interesting..........

FOS Bobbleheads:

My OKC 18 month old granddaughter, Frankie, whom I am personally training basketball crossover, around the back, no look and Euro Step moves is on a 3-year-old AAU team!!

This team is sponsored by Kimberly/Clark (Pull-Ups Division) and Huggies Wipes!! I just made that up so don't send letters!

FOS College Basketball Picks:

BIG 12 - SEC CHALLENGE PICK:

Auburn 88 Iowa State 74

Auburn coach Bruce Pearl who is well known for his animated reactions to referee calls!! The Pearl was a more red-faced used car salesman than ever!! The Tigers kept the Clones one step behind throughout the game!! As long as Coach Pearl stays one step ahead of the NCAA probation police things will be just fine for Pearl and the Auburn Tigers!!

Texas 74 LSU 69

The Big 12 finally found a team that can beat the LSU Tigers in something!! Texas has jacked up some wins against teams like the High Point Dryers so their NET rankings are weak!! Home win against a reasonable Tiger team should help!!

Oklahoma 77 Mississippi State 65

The Sooners take the Bulldogs to task with power forward Brady Mannix hitting more 3s than a 3 for one happy hour at O’Connells Irish Pub in Norman!! Lately as Brady goes so do the Sooners!! Stay healthy and make your grades young man!!

Kansas 81 Tennessee 68

The Jayhawks have hung around the top 3 all year long and should he there at tournament time!! Tennessee no longer has Bruce Pearl to pick on and current coach Rick Barnes is to nice and successful as a Volunteer to abuse!! Still, playing Kansas at Allen Fieldhouse is like General Custer playing at the Little Bighorn Battlefield!

Oklahoma State 74 at Texas A&M 66

Texas A&M took care of the Cowboys in football at the Hooters 👀Bowl in December!! So, the Cowboys return the favor in Stillwater’s, Iba Arena! The SEC is looking weak in the basketball world and will have to refer to coach Saban for revamping the whole SEC basketball 🏀 scene!!

Arkansas 89 TCU 86

Coach Musselman defeats his old adversary Jamie Dixon in a close game at the Schollmeier Arena in Fort Worth! Numerous hog fans have jumped on the Muscleman/Arkansas bandwagon!! The Tyson Frozen Foods stock has skyrocketed since the basketball team has reached the top 25!!

************Upset Special************

Texas Tech 81 Kentucky 77

Tech coach Chris Beard knows exactly how to get transfers over to beautiful Lubbock, Texas!! First of all, have at least 10 cheerleaders with each prospect at all times his Senior high school year!! Secondly, Texas Tech’s United Supermarkets Arena gives each transfer free hot dogs for his or her life during each home game!

Kansas State 68 Alabama 64

K State Wildcats are on a 4 game winning streak and look like the Wildcats of the days of Jack Hartman!!

West Virginia 78 Missouri 77

Missouri’s small contingency of upper-middle-class fans in black and gold sweater vests were very intimidated by the Ma and Pa fans from Morgantown!! One Tiger fan was wearing a fur coat that was punched by a Mountaineer fan sitting on the next row!!

The rest of the FOS picks picked by the picker!

South Dakota 74 ORU 70

The Dakota Coyotes are no relation to the Wylie E. Coyotes of Looney Tune fame but they do have the imagination and trickery to beat the Golden Eagles!! ORU plays tough but the igloo accommodations of the town called Vermillion were not very hospitable!!

UConn 67 Tulsa 61

The Tulsa fans are getting restless and the restaurants on 11th Street are starting to close during TU events since restaurant ownership seems to save money by not opening on game day!!

Kansas 81 at Oklahoma State 71

Coach Self returns to Stillwater where he learned how to play basketball and flirt with cheerleaders!! Oklahoma State coach Mike Boynton is fast becoming a really good and well-respected man about town!! The OSU big men are no match for the KU hosses!!

Words of Wisdom from the unwise one! Never ever leave your favorite TU hat on the floor for your favorite dog to chew up!!

Have a great sports week!

B in T/ FOS

B, in T

Sponsors:

Tuesday, January 14, 2020

Big College Basketball Upset Pick by B in T!

FOS/B in T

FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

FOS Notes ’bout Nuthin!

If Trumpy is impeached why is he still sitting in the Whitehouse?

Back when I was in the workforce if I fired someone or was canned myself, there was a person in the area that would be carrying an empty box to put the soon to be ex-employees stuff in!! I do not foresee a Nancy Pelosi standing outside Trumper’s door with a small box to put his shat in!! I cannot see the Trumpinator doing an exit interview or filing for unemployment either!! Saying Trump is impeached is like saying he is tall! It means nothing, sounds cool but nothing. Someone get a fricking box and walk his big ass out!! Or just stand aside and let him and his brash balls run the country, please!! This is getting old, and I am reaching the grumpy old fart stage of my life!!!

ORU Basketball - Sleeping Giant!!

ORU is ranked 109th in the first NET College Besketball ranking of 2019-2020! What is the NET Ranking? This is the new, algorithm ranking that weighs heavy on the opponent's schedule outcome of all 352 Division 1 basketball teams!! The Oral Roberts basketball ranking of 109 is the highest the Golden Eagles have ever been ranked!! Obviously, they have had a mother of a schedule this year and stand 9-8!! Good for them! Now everyone back to the Prayer Tower!!

Jason Garrett ex-Cowboy Coach Fired but Still Hanging Around Offices??

Jason has hung around 5 or 6 years longer than he should have in Cowboy land!! Now he seems to hang around even when he is fired or not re-upped!!

FIRED!!!🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Mike McCarthy, formerly HC at Green Bay, was hired by Jerry Jones and the Dallas Cowboys!

FOS Bobblehead Sports:

In one of B in T's previous posts, it was mentioned that my toddler basketball team was awaiting the arrival or signing of Power Forward Charlie Lohmeyer by February 10th!!

Well her centimeter chart is off the scale so we are moving the due or signing date up to Jan 24th!! This is good since my toddler team of 5 grandkids has it's the first game at Thornton Y in March!! Hehehehehe!

FOS College Basketball Picks:

ORU 88 at Western Illinois 77

The Golden Eagles of Tulsa have two conference road wins this year which is one more than they had all of 2018-19!! ORU Freshman Max Ambas is averaging 13.8 points per game and is helping balance the Eagles offensively!! Good things are ahead for ORU!

Baylor 81 at Oklahoma State 70

Baylor women could beat the Baylor men!! Both are better than the OSU men, maybe!? The Baylor men led by Scott Drew have more wingspan than a heard of Pterodactyls!! The second half 13-0 run by the Bears quiets the Cowboy faithful!

Kansas 75 at Texas 70

The Longhorn student body was warned by the President to not do anything to embarrass the school more than their football coach has already done!! The students did wear fedora hats with FBI in cap letters in honor of Coach Hollywood Self!!

Tulsa 66 at Tulane 63

The Golden Hurricane get a huge road victory by simply uglying up the game in New Orleans!! The Hurricane Happy Timers Entourage took a bus to New Orleans to enjoy the game and the festivities in New Orleans!! A number of the lady Happy Timers were caught with edible cannabis burritos on Bourbon Street!! They were not charged but made to share!!

Oklahoma 82 TCU 69

Coach Jamie Dixon is one of the best in the Big 12 and very well respected throughout the nation!! Although his hair looks as though he has been struck by lightning 3 times!! He has actually only been struck once!! Seriously, OU’s Brady Mannix scored 23 with 9 rebounds and the Sooners pull away in the second half!!

Arkansas 77 Kentucky 72

***********UPSET SPECIAL************

Arkansas’ Coach Mussleman is muscling up for national coach of the year honors if he is not careful!! Hog Forward Mason Jones scored 28 against the Kentucky thoroughbreds while coach Calipari and his 14 assistants looked in amazement as if the Grinch had stolen a victory from the mighty Wildcats!!

Iowa State 77 Oklahoma State 70

Clone basketball 🏀goes unnoticed quite often! No one wants to play basketball in Ames due to the freezing temperatures! So how does Iowa State coach Steve Brohm get good players to his igloo!!??

Offer recruits gifts such as:

Home for parents
Nike shoes 👟100 pairs at least!
If a five-star recruit, offer his posse Cartier watches!
Any auto with gold rims!
Medical marijuana card for life!

That is exactly how Kansas does it!

Seriously OSU senior guards Waters, and Dzawagwa shot a miserable 27% from the field and could not keep up with the Clones speed and shiftiness!

FOS NFL Picks!

FOS AFC Championship Picks

Chiefs 38 Titans 31

The heavily favored Chiefs are very tough at home and the fans were given Coach Andy Reid masks with a paid admission!! Chiefs QB Patrick Mahomes completed 25 - 30 passes the conventional style, 3 - 4 no-look passes and 1 - 1 around the back for a touchdown passes!! Chief’s TE Kelce controls the medium passing lanes against the Titans for 10 receptions and a touchdown!!

FOS NFC Championship Pick:

49ers 27 Packers 24

Six inches of snow fell during game time. A San Francisco team that plays on the sunny, Valley girl weather would SURELY be affected by the massive snow!! WRONG abominable snowman breath!! San Fran’s running game offense plowed through the Packers defense! At the end of the game, the delighted 49er players had a giant snowball fight and the Packer players slowly sauntered back to their visitor lockers!

Words of wisdom from the unwise one!!

If your better half ever asks if a certain piece of wardrobe makes them look fat, simply buy a plane ticket to Destin, find a nice clean beach and bury your head in it!!