Faked Out Sports/B in T
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Soonerpolitics.org
33 days till my head explodes and college football is here!
B in T Learned Few Things At The Big 12 Media Days!!
*Cowboy owner Jerry Jones has a huge home with a football field in the middle!!
*New Kansas coach Les Miles is really scary to interview! His interviews remind me of ex Tonight Show host Johnny Carson interviewing Carrot Top!!! Just makes no sense, at all!
*Peter Mundo of Heartland Sports is a stud!! His interviews and detailed information from the Big 12 Media frenzy was perfect!! Dilly Dilly Mr. Mundo!
*Baylor Coach Rhule was seen handing out resumes!!
*Texas Coach Herman has the personality of a damp sponge!! He is still haunted by the great plays of OU tight end Calcaterra!
*Super, local sportswriter, Berry Tramel was noticeably upset about his buddy Russell Westbrook leaving town!
Top 5 Things that Baker Mayfield Will Do in His Second Year in the NFL and the Top 5 ThingsKyler Murray Will Not Do as a Rookie!!
- Baker will grab his crotch while playing the Pittsburg Steelers! Kyler will not grab any crotches all season!!
- Baker will grab one of his O Lineman by the facemask and request him not to false start ever again or he would take away his gold Rolex watch purchased as a gift by Baker!!! Kyler did not grab an O Lineman’s facemask but instead patted him on the butt and nicely requested that he never do that again!!
- Baker will run for a touchdown, throw for a touchdown and catch a touchdown in 1 game in 2019!! He will then let the entire nation know about it on Late Night with Seth Meyers and the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon!! Kyler will do the same feat and go home and have a sandwich!!
- Baker, after a loss to the Bengals, tells a media member that if he asks one more stupid question he would shove that microphone up his left nostril!! Kyler, after a tough loss to the Rams, invited the entire media over to his house for drinks, chips, and dip!!
- Baker, after beating the New England Patriots by a last minute field goal he bought the kicker a new car!! Kyler, after a super game against the Dallas Cowboys, presented his offensive lineman with a 2-pound bag of Halloween Peanut M&Ms!!
B in T 2019 College Football Top 5’sssssss:
Top 5 Team Offenses
- Oklahoma Sooners
- Clemson Tigers
- Alabama Crimson Tide
- Texas A&M Aggies
- Owasso Rams- love me some Coach Blankenship
Top 5 Team Defenses
- Alabama
- Georgia
- Clemson
- Tulsa
- Prior 3rd Grade
Top 5 Places to Tailgate
- Arkansas Razorbacks
- Iowa State Cyclones
- Oklahoma Sooners
- Oklahoma State Cowboys
- Tie: Tulsa Golden Hurricane- must be so drunk that you think you are at a Clemson tailgate party!! Blackwell Maroons- only if Kay County Fair is in session!
Top 5 Assistant Coaches
- Brent Venables, DC Clemson
- Alex Grinch, DC Oklahoma
- Bob Shoop, DC Mississippi State
- Mike Elko, DC Texas A&M
- Tie: Tony Elliott, Co-OC Clemson and Antonio Graham, Offensive Coordinator Owasso
Top 5 Cheerleading Squads
- Texas Longhorns- Texas needs to be first in something.....anything!
- Arizona State- Blonde and tanned!
- Oklahoma Sooners- the girls get a lot of national TV time because of their team! Boomer Sooner!!
- Oklahoma State Cowboys- some of my readers are ex-OSU cheerleaders, B in T not stupid
- Tulsa Golden Hurricane- back in the day, B in T went out with numerous TU cheerleaders, soooooo although they may not remember the date, but I feel the TU girls should be in the top 5!!
Top 5 Receiver Teams
- Alabama Crimson Tide- Jerod Jeudy 1st rounder, Henry Ruggs 4.25 speed, DeVonta Smith, Jaylen Waddle
- Clemson Tigers
- Oklahoma Sooners
- Oklahoma State Cowboys
- West Virginia Mountaineers
Top 5 Team Radio Announcers
- Eli Gold- Calling Tide Football at Alabama for 31 years!!
- Toby Roland- Oklahoma‘ You can put the ponies in the barn, this one is over’!!
- Jim Fyffe- Auburn 22 years of play calling!!
- Dave Hunsaker- Oklahoma State ’Pistols Firing’ with very high pitched voice make him a legend among church choirs!!
- Bruce Howard- Tulsa Any college football announcer that can make my Golden Hurricane sound good should be in the FOS Top 5!
Top 5 Coaching Hottest Coaches
The 4 year returning champion coach Kliff ‘Skinny Jeans’ Kingsbury is somehow an NFL coach so hear goes!
- Lane Kiffin- Florida Atlantic, nice butt per Mrs. B in T!
- Lincoln Riley- Oklahoma, next skinny jeans God
- Tom Herman- Texas, looks similar to Jethro Bodine on the Beverly Hillbillies!!
- James Franklin- Penn State University, professionally carries himself so well!!
- Mike Gundy- Oklahoma State, axe the mullet and he is in top 3!!
Top 5 Hottest Coaching Wives
- Kathleen Swinney- wife of Dabo Swinney Clemson
- Layla Kiffin- wife of Lane Kiffin, Golden Boy of Florida Atlantic
- Sarah Harbaugh- wife of Jim Harbaugh, Michigan
- Jen Bielema- although Brett Bielema is Former Razorback coach and current Patriots Defensive Line coach, his wife Jen is past hot and close to nuclear hot 🔥! How he landed this hotty is beyond human knowledge.
- Carol Muschamp- wife of Will Muschamp South Carolina, he outkicked his coverage on her!!
Top 5 Team Mascots
- Reville- Texas A&M dog. B in T has personally met and exchanged autographs with this young Lassie!!
- Uga the Bulldog- Georgia dog, has his own Georgia Bulldog drool cup!!
- Ralphie the Buffalo- Colorado. When stampeding the football field he has been known to drag as many as 7 preppy college boy handlers on the ground behind him!!
- Bevo Longhorn Steer- Texas. At one time Bevo was the king of the football mascots but his Irritable Bowel Syndrome has set him back the last few years! Not as much pep in his step!
- Tie- Pistol Pete- Oklahoma State. Biggest paper machete head in the world, fake gunshots from his gun have caused numerous close heart attacks!Tusk 5- Russian Boar Hog- Arkansas. Tusk 5 taking over for Tusk 4 (daddy hog) and will make his debut in 2019!!
FOS MLB
Cardinals- Redbirds are 1 game over .500 and just 3 games out of first!
Astros- The Stros’ are getting their players back from the injury list and are playing average ball! Good thing the subs placed them 20 games over .500!!
Words of wisdom from the unwise one!! The jokes you tell to a local pub now, do not get the same laugh as they did in the 80s!! Take my word for it!!
Have a great sports week!!
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