Bryan in Tulsa!
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FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM
Who will be the next Nebraska Cornhusker coach? This week's Top prospects:
- Matt Campbell - Iowa State
- Mark Stoops - Kentucky - the name Stoops alone plus he is a really good coach!
- Mickey Joseph - Associate Head Coach Nebraska
- Phillip Montgomery, Tulsa TU will them hire Lorren Montgomery from Bixby to save on stationary supply costs at TU!!
- Urban Meyers-FOX Sports, Hooters, Inc.
- Lincoln Riley - USC - automatically listed on all Power 5 vacancies!
- Gary Patterson - Texas analyst
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Hotwheels Super Race-off at Papi’s
After 347 Hotwheels, 98 races, 100 plus peanut M&Ms, 1 casualty - Lamborghini stepped on by Papi, 3 packs of Starbursts, we were down to the Yellow Lotus!!(seen above)
Nap time for Papi and Gus is onward to more Hot Wheels fun!!
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Final Center Boccia Open and Wheel Chair Winners:
1 Steve (super cool!) 2 Sean (the Hulk!) 3. De Andre (super fly!)
Team winners:
1st Place: Tempest (she's a Barbie Girl!), Sharlene (Maneater- never loses to a man), B in T (was on quaaludes when picture was taken!)
Individual Champions: 1st Angie (power thrower!) 2nd Stephanie (super freak thrower) 3. Mamie (no sassy!)
Bobblehead Sports:
B in T College Picks:
BV
Oklahoma 40 Kansas State 21
The K-State defense could not stop the Sooner’s fast-paced offense in the second half!! Oklahoma rallied from a halftime deficit of 10 thanks to Dilon Gabriel’s 15-17, 3 TDs, and 298 yd performance in the second half!! Wildcat Hall of Fame Coach Bill Snyder took new OU coach Brent Venables to the side during warmups and asked him face to face, why in the f_ _ _ did u take the OU gig??? Venables's response was bleeped out but my TMZ sources said he told his ex-college coach to change his adult depends and walked away!! Wow, great stuff!!
BV - K-State LB
Texas A&M 38 Arkansas 31
LSU transfer QB Max Johnson passed for 3 touchdowns as the Aggies win by a late 17 yd TD from Johnson to Ainius Smith, who was suspended then mysteriously suspended for DUI and weapons!! Hmmm very interesting!!!
Ole Miss 35 Tulsa 31
The Golden Hurricane scared the shat out of the Rebels!!
Six of my TU fraternity brothers and I headed to Oxford to watch the the Cane fall short! As 60 to 70-year-olds, our football road trip conversations change over the years!! The current trip to Oxford presented the following -- many, many, many potty stops, too many constipation stories, 1 billion grandchild stories, and of course more Blough (only single frat bro) stories!!
NOTE: The new Rebel mascot looks like something from Sharknado 4!!
Position vs Position
TU vs Ole Miss
QB: Ole Miss
RB: Ole Miss
WR: Ole Miss
TE: Ole Miss
OL: Ole Miss
DL: Ole Miss
LB: Ole Miss
CB: Ole Miss
S: Ole Miss
K: Ole Miss
KOS: Ole Miss
KR: Tulsa
P: Tulsa
Cheerleaders: Tulsa
Better looking Alums: Tulsa
More methheads per capita: tie Oxford-Tulsa 22.22%
Illinois 56 Chatanooga 14
The Chattanooga Choo Choos, no not a song by Glenn Miller, the Chattanooga Mocs, aka - the snake, the shoe, and the Cherokee chief, Chattanooga struggled for decades to find a mascot that worked until Scrappy flew into their hearts!! Scrappy is the mascot students, athletes, and faculty alike can rally around!! The Illini and coach Belema needed a romping win and the Mocs were just what Dr. B in T ordered!!
Ohio State 41 Wisconsin 31
The Badgers will be strong but not Buckeye strong!! Buckeye WR Marvin Harrison Jr. , the son of 8 times NFL All-Pro Marvin Sr., caught 8 passes for 132 yards and 3 touchdowns!!
Clemson 44 at Wake Forest 41
Clemson D is giving up 34 points and 456 yards per game since Mr. Venables left the swamp lands for the golden plains of Oklahoma!! If the Deamon Deacons hang 41 on your D, it could be a long year!!
Iowa State 31 Baylor 27
********Upset Special**********
Clone QB Hunter Dekkers's legs and arm got the home team a huge victory over the 6th-ranked Bears! Mr. Decker did a NIL deal with Dicks Sporting Goods store!!
Decker’s deal with Dick’s is a lifetime rental use of all camping equipment marked 75% discount!
USC 42 at Oregon State 36
So Cal Defensive Coordinator Alex Grinch, who came west with mutiny co-conspirator Lincoln Riley, D gave up 563 yards of total offense to a below-average Pac 10 team!!
Duke 31 at Kansas 21
The Kansas David Boothe football field had an overflow crowd of 50,000 there for the debut of the 2022 National Champion Kansas basketball!! After the trivial but necessary football game, a temporary basketball court was set up by the Jayhawk football team!! Then the real Midnight Madness started!!🏀🏀🏀Oh yes, the football game was won by the Duke Blue Devils!!!
Texas 38 at Texas Tech 35
The Shorthorns and the QB who will be keeping the potty chair warm till Arch Manning get thar till next year, Quinn Ewers squeak by the Red Raiders in front of several thousand fans without
teeth in Lubbock!!
Mullet look for new Longhorn QB Quinton Ewers at mullet University!!
Boston College 38 at Florida State 24
The Seminoles are a 9th-ranked team in American Athletic Conference!! Boston College players wanted to stay in Tallahassee due to 10 inches of snow in Chestnut Hills, Mass!! That is not a true statement, The Eagle players wanted to stay in Tallahassee, FL for the bikini contest at Bullwinkles Bar!!
Iowa 21 at Rutgers 20
The Scarlets were smaller and slower but won the best cheerleading routine at halftime!!
High scoring game for the Hawkeyes!! The defensive coordinator for Rutgers was confused when Iowa put a two tight ends and one wideout formation instead of a customary 3 tight end Hawkeye Jumbotron formation!
B in T High School Picks:
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THE FIRST SIGHTING OF PUMPKIN MAN!!!
The Man of Pumpkin also known as Pumpkin man was spotted handing out brownies to young moms heading into the new science lab with all the sugar-hyped rugrats!
Discovery Lab
Bishop Kelley 42 at Will Rogers 18
BK players were notified that the post game pizza for the team has been changed to Godfathers from Mazzios!! The Bishop Kelley captains asked why, and they were told that Godfathers Pizza was the new team post-game sponsor thanks to a NIL deal for the 10 varsity Comet offensive lineman for free pizza 🍕 for life!!
Bixby 66 at Norman North 31
Norman North is a strong west side football team, but not strong enough to beat The Bixby Spartans, the Crimson Tide of Oklahoma football!!
Perry 35 Blackwell 13
Homecoming for Perry, with a special surprise appearance of Kevin Bacon from the movie ‘Footloose’ !! Perry was famous for being the last small town in Oklahoma to allow dancing!!! Some Perry Maroon Cheerleaders crossed over with some Blackwell Maroon Cheerleaders and started doing coordinated Footloose dance moves to a standing ovation from the Daniels Stadium crowd!!
Booker T Washington 48 at Bartlesville 27
The Hornets with QB Lathan Boone running for 2 TDs and passing for another covered the 20-point spread!! JK. Only office water cooler bets are allowed for high school and middle school wagers!!!👀👀
Broken Arrow 58 at Southmore 13
The SaberCats are having trouble getting any wins this year!! Their fans have been saying they are having trouble getting any wins this century!!!
Cascia Hall 31 Holland Hall 23
This game has been newly named the Battle of the Halls and was played at Tulsa’s Chapman Stadium!! The main sponsors were Lulu Lemon underwear and The Utica Square Peppers (America's best chips and salsa)!
Choctaw 42 at Putman City North 20
Choctaw’s 10 offensive linemen signed a NIL(Name, Image, and Likeness) deal with Harley’s Cafe for all-you-can-eat fried livers and gizzards!! In return, the team will hand out advertising pamphlets and wear body signs! Yuck!
Cushing 34 at Miami 18
For Mike 🙏
Each player on the Cushing football team has been given $12.50 per week NIL money for ice cream at Braums in Miami, Oklahoma through football season!! No burgers just ice cream, malts or shakes!!
Miami Mom O meter .981
Cushing Mom O meter .969
Wow, huge skirmish with the final competition! Some of the Cushing moms state that the blueberry cobbler, that won the championship for the Miami moms, had a trace of cannabis stems in the cobbler!! This rumor was upheld by a TMZ reporter at the gala! True shat broski!
Diner of the week, Miami, Ok
Los Dos Amidos
This place invented the edible Sombrero!!!
Jenks 52 Enid 8
Jenks QB Ike Owens threw for 3 touchdowns in another romp of a west side school!
Owasso 31 Union 26
Owasso’s - Alabama’s stud wide-out, Cole Adams is out for the season but the Ram QB Mason Willingham is hot and making the best of being named starter! Union LB Bralen Irvin-Fisher is a stud at 6’2” 235 and has Tulsa football drooling! TU is putting together a possible NIL deal with Hasty Bake Grills & Bralen!!
Tonkawa 42 at Choteau-Mazie 16
The Wild Cats of Choteau were never in the game and the Buccaneer's RB and LB Luke Shephard single-handedly out yardaged the Wildcats!!
B in T NFL Picks:
Colts 34 Chiefs 31
Several folks think that I just pick against the Cheifs cuz I don't like them........no it is cuz I suck at picking!! I am sorry Chief Kingdom! We have a love-hate relationship
❤️🖕❤️🖕❤️🖕hehe!
Giants 24 Cowboys 13
The Cowboy D is very good and it can save their bacon in most games without Dak Prescot! The offense is struggling and according to my sources and TMZ Sports, Jerry Jones has signed former 49er Colin Kaepernick (not B in T look-alike Jimmy Garrapolo) for the remainder of the season! Might be Jerry's best move ever!
Texans 20 at Chicago 19
The sun shined 10 minutes before the kick-off like a spring day in Gorky Park!! THEN:
Just before halftime a storm similar to the one that hit the world in Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer animation 1954, hit Soldier Field with a foot of snow!! True story I was there!! The Texan coach Lovie Smith, told the team to pack their Lulu Lemon ultra warm under armor gear!! This Lulu Lemon super warm deluxe gear helped the Texans rally from 12 points down in the second-half snow drifts, to a 1-point victory!! Thanks, coach Smith for combing the old ways and the new ways!!
Saints 28 at Carolina 27
Baker seems destined to lose another game by 1 point! His craftiness can be mistaken for overplaying theatrics and will make the home team fans frustrated!! Perhaps things will get better with a couple of wins and /or a new Prudential or Lowes commercial!
Have a great sports week!
Bryan in Tulsa
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