Bryan in Tulsa
Hehe hehe!
FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM
BOBBLEHEAD SPORTS:
My 6-month-old youngest grand Precious Baby Girl Elliot:
-102nd Percentile Height
-101st Percentile Head Circumference
-99.8 Percentile in Weight
-100 Percentile in Jaw circumference (close to a bear cub)!
-She is wearing 12-month-old clothing and can palm a cantaloupe!!
-At 6 months old she can bench a Fisher-Price piano and pull a Barbie Corvette with her teeth!!
-At the Bishop Kelley girls wrestling camp she was the top female wrestler under 6 yrs old!!
Bishop Kelley Wrestling Camp
1st Place - Hammer Power Drive
-Elliott is great for lines at restaurants for 5$ hamburger specials!! One blown-out dirty diaper will set our seat beeper off and Elliott and fam go straight to the front of the line!!
shopping.webp
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B in T notes:
The Thunder’s next superstar??
Chet Holtgrem 7’1” 195lb
The OKC Thunder's 2nd pick in the 2022 draft looks amazing!!
All Oklahoma City newborn children will be named Chet for the next 10 years!! The thin man can ball!!
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-10 University of Football Tulsa Transfers from POWER 5 SCHOOLS!
Ok, Ok, Ok, Trinity Valley is not a power 5 conference school.....but their table tennis team is nationally ranked!!
Wide receiver, Kentucky
Isiah Epps (Jenks)
Defensive lineman, Colorado
Jayden Simon
Defensive lineman, Mississippi State. Ani Izuchuwu
Defensive back, Wisconsin
Offensive lineman, Illinois
Brody Wisecarver
Offensive lineman, Tennessee
Chris Akropoeghepe
Offensive lineman, OU
Darrell Simpson
Tight end, Arizona State
Wide Receiver, Trinity Valley
Carl Chester
Defensive back/Star, Georgia
Running Back/ Virginia Tech
Taj Gary
These schools are very good academic schools, as well!!
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-McCarthy Needs to Learn to Stop Cheating!
Dallas HC Mike McCarthy was fined $100,000, and the Cowboys have been docked from organized team activity for 2023 for holding practices that were deemed too physical by the NFL executives! The same fine was issued to the Cowboys in 2021.
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What will happen first?????????
- Texas gets into the college football playoffs CFP or Texas A&M gets into the CFP, According to my Aunt Dickie the 9th try is a charm!!
- Florida International University win another game (11-game losing streak) or Tulsa University builds an indoor practice facility?
- The PAC 12 gets back into the CFP Final Four (5 years no show) or hell freezes over??
- B in T writing is put into some small newspapers or pigs flying in a frozen he🏑🏑!!
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-B in T’s Small High School Football Coverage is lacking:
The Oklahoma Small school football All-Star Game at the Miami, Oklahoma’s Multi-Purpose Athletic facility, was an awesome display of small school football talent in Oklahoma.!! Dewars is an 8-man football powerhouse!! And I know that my 11 readers are thinking that B in T will try to tell you the this was where Dewars RUM was created and sold!?!?!? Nope, but Dewars does have a great breakfast diner that I will be visiting very soon! Many of my critics say that I never talk about 8 man football!! So, I have borrowed the brain of high school writing legend Barry Lewis! B in T’s High School Diner of the week may go to this 8-man football powerhouse in 2022!! The Dewar’s four all-stars are quarterback Jameson Ross, receivers/defensive backs Thomas Brownfield and Kaelem Carter, and end Marshall Been!! They will be joined on the Green roster by three players from Class C champion Timberlake — running back JJ Pippin, and linemen Colten Lormand and Cade Severin. Also on the Green squad are Class B champion Laverne running backs Mason Massee and Houston Bockelman!
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-Oklahoma has won so many Heisman’s we use them as door stoppers! Arrogant…..but is the damn truth!!
Barry Switzer’s front door FOYER, with Heisman at the bottom!
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B in T Tidbits:
‘Clem’ Kaddidlhopper is a name you do not here often like the Thunder first found pick ‘Chet’ Holmgren!! We need more Chets and Clem names in this world!!
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OU’s Lebby is the Number 1 QB Coach in America: He will be a hot commodity after OU leads the nation in total offense in 2022!!
Jeff Lebby via Ole Miss will be the Offensive Coordinator for OU for 1 year before rejoining the Rebels as head coach!! Current Rebel coach Lane Kiffin will take an NFL job with the Texans while head coach Lovie Smith replaces NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell!!! Goodwill becomes Trump's running mate for 2024!!
I digress, Oklahoma State’s Tim Rattay made the top 50. The former SF 49ers and record-setting La Tech QB, is the 44th best QB coach in America!!
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Top 5 Football Teams Tedd Lasso may coach next:
- Owasso High School, Tulsa Oklahoma - Lasso has been highly recommended to replace Owasso legendary coach Bill Blankenship!
- Iowa Hawkeyes - Tedd will be great for the kids if the Iowa Stead Family Children's Hospital!
- Kansas State Wildcats - 1 of 2 teams from his home state of Kansas, that will come calling for his services! Recruiting numbers will be amazing, and midwest moms love him!
- Michigan Wolverines - the ‘Golly geez whiz’ good ole boy slang from Lazzo will go well with the Khakis leftover from Harbaugh!
- Dallas Cowboys - why not, everyone else has coached Dallas!
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Leaders in Coaching buyouts waste of money:
Auburn- $31.2 million - Mansion and yacht for former Coach Gus Malzahn!
Nebraska - $28.5 million - Nebraska fires coaches like my Aunt Dickie went through ex-husbands!! Her name really was Dickie, rest in peace Aunt Dickie, ask Mrs. B in T, real name and not made up!!
Kansas - $20 million- Les Miles’ great-great grandkids have full rides to any college in Europe!
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Oklahoma Athletic Director Joe Castiglione has told TMZ that OU and Southern Cal may do a four game home and home series starting in F--- No and never and ending in F--- No and are you on crack!! Here is a look at the OU ad campaign!
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Lollygagging - my new fav word!! Most folks “spend time aimlessly” or “usually heavily medicated”, think the definition has something to do with gagging on lollypops!! Wrong Candyland breath!!
MLB
Cardinals: their record no longer manners to me!
I just sent a text to my brother, who is a HUGE Dodger fan:
“I will trade to LA right now, Arenado and Goldshit for any Dodger pitcher and 100 lbs of LA weed”!
You may be chuckling, but just wait!!
Dodgers - 82 - 10 see above
Rangers - 41 -48 Bring back Ron Washington!!
Astros - 72-22- No drum bangin this year, just good baseball!! Go Stros, my new favorite team!! Altuve’s new Hiltshire Farms little weenies commercial has sparked some controversy among the midget population of Houston!! Stay tuned to B in T for further scoop!!
Have a great sports week!!
B in T
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