Snowman found at Whataburger trash bin!! DISMEMBERED
Bryan in Tulsa
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FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM
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Family Bobbleheads:
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The Nation’s Most Boring Highway:
According to Atlas roadmaps, I still have from 1962, the most desolate and boring drive in America is I 44 between Tulsa and OKC!! So when B in T accompanied his son-in-law to see an OKC Thunder game last week we had to be creative to kill the time on this flat and mountainless ride! We ended up taking Mimi’s pimped-out Traverse in styling our trip to the City!! To kill time and relationships with our immediate family members Andre decided to call and chat with our wives, kids, cousins, inlaws, friends, aunts, uncles, dogs, and even cats 😻!! We even called Andre’s mom and brother in Brazil!! Note to file: the time in Brazil at 6 pm in midwestern no where - is 5 am!! I think Claudette (Andre’s mom) talked with him sternly in Portuguese for placing a social call to Rio before the roosters arose!! Oh how time flew and the next thing we knew we were close to courtside at Paycom Arena in OKC sipping a Busch Light!!
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉Happy 30th BDay to my youngest daughter Maddie aka Maddog!!🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
FOUND!!!!!!!!!!!!
SIDE NOTE: THE OLD SNOWMAN WAS STOLEN 9 DAYS BEFORE THIS ARTICLE!!! I HOPE ANOTHER FAMILY ENJOYS IT!! MERRY CHRISTMAS YA FILTHY ANIMAL!! I HAVE CAMERA EVIDENCE BUT.........🎁TIS THE SEASON!
B in T notes:
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B in T’s New Era Top 10 Christmas Specials: 2000 to Present
Elf - 2003 - “cotton-headed ninny muggins” is the best line in the history of Will Farrell movies!
Christmas Chronicles - 2018 -
Second best Kurt Russell movie to Tombstone!
Christmas with the Kranks - 2004 - another Christmas classic with Tim Allen - a nuclear sunburned Allen was hilarious!
The Holiday - 2006 - a cute, loving Jack Black in this Christmas Love Story!
The Polar Express - 2004 - Tom Hanks’ voice and a train with unbelievable animation in the North Pole mountains make this show breathtaking!!
A Christmas Carol - 2009 - Jim Carrey makes this classic a holiday gem!
Four Christmases - 2008 - Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn rekindle their love through the holiday season with spiked egg not!
Bad Santa - 2003 - Billy Bob Thorton is a perfect nasty Santa for this dark comedy, all this classic lacks is bologna in a beard!!
Klaus - 2019 - an animated show with a postman who befriends a recluse toymaker in drag!! This is true shat!
WARNING: NO ONE UNDER 18 OR OLDER THAN 65 SHOULD READ THE FOLLOWING:
According to the NCAA Bowl Organization, the following cities were denied Bowl admission in 2021:
- Dickshooter, Idaho
- Weiner, Arkansas
- Short Pump, Virginia
- Hooker, Oklahoma
- Cooter, Missouri
- Humptulips, Washington
- Blue Ball, Ohio
- Butzville, New Jersey
OU Fans Back Away from the Cliff!!
OU basketball coach Lon Kruger is the nicest man since Mr. Rogers left his neighborhood!! Well-loved and respected by Sooner Nation retired leaving 3 players and guess what the team survived! Coach Porter Moser was hired with 8 new players and not a beat was missed!! The Sooners have a giant bear playing center and an 8-2 record!! The next OU football coach will save the school football Gods from embarrassing 9-3 records in the future and bring a new wave of domination back to Sooner Nation!! If softball legend coach Patti Gasso leaves, Athletic Director Paul Castiglione will be on suicide watch!! The new dude has risen and it is BRENT VENABLES!!
OU Interim Coach Bob Stoops will call the offensive plays in Alamo Bowl;
The first five plays will go such:
- Down and out to Drake Stoops (Bob’s son)
- Fly pattern to Drake Stoops
- End around to Drake Stoops
- Screen to Drake Stoops
- Flea flicker to Drake Stoops
TU running back leads nation in yards per carry:
ANTHONY WATKINS LEADS THE NATION IN YARDS PER CARRY (7.6) , MOST EXPLOSIVE RB IN CFB WITHOUT A DOUBT 👀 👀
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College Basketball Picks:
Tulsa 72 Colorado State 70
The Rams are ranked for the first time since they played in the snow with a wooden apple basket!!! I am picking TU to lose the games they are favored, and win the games they are underdogs!! Thus TU hits a buzzer shots to win!!
Houston 82 Oklahoma State 75
The Cougars coach Kevlar Sampson walked into their home Fertitta arena like Elvis walks into a Memphis concert!! He owned the place!! Two sections of students wore blue denim shirts and were identified by ESPN as the Denim Dogs!!
Baylor 83 at Oregon 78
Baylor is slowly taking over Kansas perch on top of the Big 12!
A huge road win for the Bears as they devour the wittle Beavers!
Oral Roberts 87 at South Dakota 82
The first conference road trip required snow tire chains, a bus with a front-end shovel, and a team of sled dogs to get to the arena front door! Two ORU players immediately went into the transfer portal when they arrive from Antarctica!! No shat!
Oklahoma 93 Alcon State 70
The Sooners roll over the Alcorn State Braves and seem to be aiming for the top 25!
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Perfect Bowl Picks:
Radiance Technologies Independence Bowl
BYU 35 UAB 20
The BYU Cougars exploded for 3 touchdowns in the third quarter to take charge of the UAB Blazers!!
Bowl Gifts: were unique yet weird!! Each player received a 250$ gambling and drinking voucher for all the bars and casinos 🎰 in Shreveport!! This was nice for the BYU Morman players since most of their players are over 21 years old! The parents and grandparents of the UAB players were excited to use their student-athlete vouchers due to their under 21-year-old no drinking and gambling laws!!
Jimmy Kimmel LA Bowl -
Utah State 41 Oregon State 31
Jimmy Kimmel put on a live 1-hour show at half-time of the game!! Guests included Lady Gaga and OJ Simpson!!
Bowl Gifts: Combination rollerblades and running 👟 shoes made by New Balance which are valued at 500$ on Amazon!! Also added to the collection were player watches by Target valued at 35$ and team Christmas pajamas from Lulu Lemon!!
Myrtle Beach Bowl-
Tulsa 31 Old Dominion 21
The Tulsa fans were happier for the 37 area golf courses than the actual game!! The Hurricane Happytimer group was upset that their TU flasks were confiscated by the Myrtle Beach undercover cops!! The more mature TU fans offered homemade brownies to the MBPD and their TU flasks were returned with no charges!!
Bowl player gifts:
- A Case of Axe Body Spray
- Microsoft Xbox One console
- Under Armour backpack
- Might Boom Ball speakers
- Donald Duck Beanie
Tropical Smoothie Frisco Bowl
UTSA 38 San Diego State 35
The Texas-San Antonio Roadrunners outran the mighty Aztec for an exciting bowl victory!
Bowl player gifts:
250$ Tropical Smoothie Gift card: 400$ Play Station 6; 2 boxes of Little Debbie Christmas edibles!
Lockheed Armed Forces Bowl
Army 17 Missouri 13
Army out bored Missouri in this bowl of two inept offenses!!
Bowl Player Gifts:
Fake Gucci team underwear; Ogio Marshall Pack backpack; Replica Animal house beanie; Big Game football!
NFL Picks:
Chargers 34 Chiefs 21
The Chargers and the Chiefs are tied for the division lead but the tiebreaker goes to the Chargers due to the K Cs Mahomes’ hair product commercials!
Browns 24 Raiders 17
The Browns and Baker are trying to make up for harsh words said earlier in the season! Winning helps always!!
Cowboys 31 at Giants 27
The Cowboys are 1 win from sealing up the Eastern Division of the NFC!! Don't ruin it and start coaching again Jerry!!
Cardinals 28 at Lions 26
The Cardinals have super quick QB Kyler Murray back for the final turn in the Championship NFC race for the best record!! Looks like they have a chance!!
Have a great sports week!
Bryan in Tulsa
FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM
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