Bryan in Tulsa
FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM
B in T Notes:
Pumpkin Man Is Back!!
B in T’s Pumpkin Man will be returning this year after signing a 3-year extension with M & Ms Halloween 🎃 candy!! Tulsa Edible Yummies has agreed to sponsor some of his appearances for the local Green Country hot spots!! Should be an exciting season!!
Largest Offensive Lines 2021 - TU, Oklahoma, and Arkansas All Have Super Feeding Troughs!!!!
1 – Minnesota – 6’6″ – 336 lbs.
2 – Florida – 6’5.4″, 334.4 lbs.
3 – LSU – 6’4.8″, 325.4
4 – North Carolina – 6’5″, 325
5 – Tulsa – 6’3.6″, 323.6
6 – Auburn – 6’4.8″, 323.4
7 – Michigan – 6’5.6″, 323.2
8 – Oregon – 6’5.4″, 322.6
9 – Oklahoma – 6’4.2″, 322.2
10 – Alabama – 6’4.8″, 321.4
11 – Geogia Tech – 6’5.4″, 319.6
12 – Wyoming – 6’5.2″, 319.4
13 – Arkansas – 6’5.6″, 319.2
14 – Maryland – 6’4.8 – 319
15 – Ole Miss – 6’4″, 319
B in T Regular Season Wins/Losses:
Oklahoma 11-1 Iowa State or Ok State could throw a wrench in the perfect season!
Tulsa 9-3 Tulsa will play in the AAC Conference Championship!! You heard it here first!!
Oklahoma State 9-3 The Cowboys should have a good year and end up in the Alamo Bowl, again!
Arkansas 6-6 QB KJ is the real deal and will lead the Hogs to a bowl for the first time since World War Il!!
Big Four Fall Practice notes:
Sooner Defensive Coordinator Alex Grinch is projected to be the next head coach at a few power 5 conference schools!! If the Sooner D shines like it has in fall camp, watch out! Defensive rush end Nic Bonito is in many preseasons all-American lists!!
The Tulsa Golden Hurricanes defense dominated the last scrimmage of the 🍁 fall!! The offense kicked it in at the end but the first and second-team defenses played marvelously!!
The Razorbacks need to focus on the basics and have the haters return their haterade to Walmart with receipt!! Bioootches!! Whoooooooo Pig Suiuuuuuuuuuueey Razorbacks!!!!
Local Players and B in T Friends To Watch 👀👀👀:
Desmond Purnell DB Kansas State Freshman. A sleeper from the Wichita area!! The younger brother of a trainer at the Center!! Older bro says he can still outrun him!! I doubt it!!
Myles Slusher DB Arkansas Sophomore. A friend of B in T whose son was a stud at Broken Arrow!! Second team safety and the first-team nickel back!! Not the band!!
Cameron Watts DB Texas Tech. A Junior From Tulsa Union through NEO Junior College!! The Watts lineage includes JC Watts, former OU QB, and Tre Watts former TU stud running back, and a good friend of my daughters at The University of Tulsa!!
Look for these gentlemen to kick butt this year!!
Bobblehead Sports:
School 🍎 is back! Watch out for school zones, DAMN IT!!!!!!
On another note 📝 a friend at mine at the Center's daughter gave me the meaning of the word ‘school’ last week:
S- six
C- cruel
H- hours
O- of
O- our
L- lives
She could be my new associate editor!!
B in T College Picks:
Nebraska 37 Illinois 28
Has anyone EVER seen Nebraska coach Scott Frost and a former character on Happy Days, Opie Taylor, in the same room at the same time? No, you haven't, and I believe that they are the same furicking dude!! On a less serious note Coach, Scott or Opie is being investigated for using part-time analytical assistant coaches to help with football practices and this is a no-no!! Illinois coach Bielema is happy to be employed at the Fighting Illini but will have a long first year!
UCLA 48 Hawaii 27
This game is being played at the Rose Bowl with the Bruins locked in as a 17.5 point favorite!! Ex Tulsa coach Todd Graham is the head man at Hawaii and brings his Tasmanian Devil personality to the lovely islands!! Coach Kelly at UCLA has brought some offensive knowledge to the team but recruiting strong, big defensive players to tinsel town and the baby blue uniforms could be his downfall!! Bruins cover the 17.5 point spread! Both coaches are on a short rope!!
B in T High School Picks:
Bixby 51 Mansfield Timberview 21
Bixby’s offensive line is larger than most Division ll lines and some Division l lines!!
Who will replace a 4-year starter with a QB, Mason Williams?? Senior Christian Burke has replaced Williams smartly in their home opener against Mansfield!! Burke completed 14 of 18 passes for 3 touchdowns!! Superstud Braelyn Pressly ran for 160 yards and 3 touchdowns!!
Jenks 31 at Mansfield Summit, Arlington TX. 14
Getting my haircut last week I met a Jenks offensive lineman who was somewhat quiet but his dad gave me the inside Jenks football scoop!! His son is 6’1” and weighs 250 pounds and is a backup lineman!! He said to watch out for soph Jeff CALMUS who can play numerous positions on offense or defense!! The name Calmus ( ie. legendary Rocky) is engrained in the locker walls of the Allen Trimble stadium!! Freshman Shaker Reisig is leading the QB competition and already has an offer from San Jose State!! His aunt happens to work in the SJS athletic office!! JK! The team will be staying at the plush Hyatt Regency Hotel outside Arlington! The meals were not in the Jenks budget!! Luckily the Jenks Booster Club made 400 bologna sandwiches!! Jenks pulls ahead after a 14 to 14 halftime score with 17 unanswered points!!
Bishop Kelly 45 at Poteau 16
BK football is looking strong for 2021 and showed it by drumming the 4A Pouteau Pirates in their home stadium!! A brawl broke out between the kickers of both schools during pregame warmups! The Pouteau kicker accused the Comet kickers of stealing some of their kicking tees while the Pirates were in the restroom!! The tees were later found in a Comet coaches daughters Barbie toy bag!! All ended well!! BK played physical football and came away with a nice road win!!
B in T Mom O Meter - Pouteau .988 Bishop Kelley .980
A very close battle between two of the classiest sets of moms in 4A and 5A!! The difference in the contest came down to the blueberry pie baking contest where a Pouteau mom sealed the victory with her famous blueberry butter crust pie!! And the crowd went crazy!!
B in T Mom and Pop Diner of the Week:
Fat Man’s Great Eats
2629 N. Broadway St.
If you're skinny don't come to this classic home cooking diner!! This place was named by country-western and Hee Haw legend Roy Clark!! Mr.Clark’s tour bus once stopped for lunch and ended up staying the whole week!! The Clark gang was given complementary Pouteau Pumpkin Pie for the road!! Great home-cooked food and desserts!!
Union 38 Lakeridge, Mansfield, Texas 10
Powerful Union has 36 seniors this year and looks solid for a run at the Gold Ball!
Union has speed in the secondary, speed with the receivers, speed with running backs and speed with the male and female ball wipers!!
Owasso 31 at Edmond Sante Fe 0
Super defensive lineman Chris McClellan once chowed down on 20 hotdogs and 4 large Gatorades during a practice break!! True shat!! His defensive coach Antonio Graham was not pleased!! Coach Graham stood on a stool, eye to eye, and said this ain't Edison son and you need to give me 100 gassers!! McClellan had 4 sacks and cracked two Edmond Sante Fe helmets!
Booker T Washington 47 at Southmore 13
BTW Gentry Williams can play every position for the Hornets!! He once grilled 400 hamburgers for the Thursday night team dinner!! Mr. Do everything is also the drumline leader for the Hornet High Steppers!! Gentry is being recruited by all of the SEC including Oklahoma, and the Dallas Cowboys, no shat, Google it!! Gentry threw for three scores and ran for two and took his pads off at halftime ala Thomas Lott of OU!!
Holland Hall 52 All Saints 13
Senior RB Nunu Campbell is on the radar of some major colleges including Tulsa University!! The Hall of south Tulsa is becoming very clever with it's weight room!! The coaching staff has instituted a ‘spend an hour in the gym’ and receive a condom!! This is in conjunction with the 2021 school-wide Safe Sex campaign!!
Victory Christian 34 at Cascia Hall 26
Coach Medina and Cascia Hall are no longer the kings of private school football!! Metro, Holland Hall, Victory Christian, and Lincoln Christian have come to the Commandos level and some have passed them by!!
Beggs 38 Lincoln Christian 24
Two small school superpowers meet in their openers!! Lincoln Christian is rebuilding from a strong 2A runner-up trophy!! Beggs is always big and fast and good! Nothing changes!
Have a great sports week!
|
|
|
B, in T |
