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I AM BAAAAAAACK!!
B in T has been out for a few weeks!! Yes, I know that no one noticed I was not writing, but to all 7 fans that noticed have a case of Old Milwaukee beer headed your way in the mail!! Seriously yes! I was actually on a month-long trip to the Kiamichi Mountains to look for Sasquatch, Bigfoot, and the Flo on Progressive commercials!!
The following has happened since my hibernation in the mountains:
Tulsa’s Zaven Collins was drafted 16th in round 1 by my new favorite besties team, The Arizona Cardinals!! Zaven looked great in rookie camp and won the rookie talent show by using Kyler Murray as a puppet on his knee!!
Aaron Rodgers wants out of Green Bay! CFL? Denver Broncos? Jeopardy? Search for Bigfoot with B in T? No one knows what Aaron wants except Aaron and maybe his newest Hollywood squeeze!!
Oklahoma has a new men's basketball coach Peter Mosier and his first recruit is a 6’10” mountain man/Unabomber looking dude!! He is scary good and scary-looking!!
The OKC Thunder sucks and none of the player names are familiar! What is this shat we are watching?? I saw better basketball at the 7-year-old Bixby Y league. At least the young lads know how to run a play and set a mother chicken PICK!! Awful!! Watching the Thunder can give serious constipation to us old farts!!
While off, I have been to a few Grandkids soccer games, and my 4 and 6-year-olds are vastly improved!! I must say that the hot soccer moms keep getting younger and curvier and I keep getting older and wrinklier!!!
ESPN has already ranked Sooner football number 1 for 2021-22!! A sure-fire sign of sucking is being predicted number 1 by Sports Illustrated or ESPN!! JINX!!
Masks are off and Coronavirus has tucked its tail the heck out of here!! My Center for Individuals Physically Limited has reopened with certain limitations!! No drinking, smoking, farting, or snorting while playing Bocce Ball!!
B in T’s Way Way Too Early College Football Top 25:
- Oklahoma, who else-homer-esk
- Alabama, applied to the NFL
- Clemson, no mo hippie QB
- Ohio State, always good
- Iowa State, surprise top 5
- Georgia, overrated always
- Notre Dame, lost to TU, nuff said
- Texas A&M, B in T roadtrip hopefully
- Cincinnati, AAC strong
- Indiana, who?
- Oregon, ripped off OU!
- Iowa, big boy school!
- Florida,lots a talent,overrated coach
- Wisconsin, handoff 3 hole is the go-to play - their offense makes Coach Lincoln Riley Einstein!
- LSU, my sources say that Coach Oregon is dating meth queen Lori Arnold
- Oklahoma State, Gundy’s mullet has been permed
- Tulsa, no Zaven but the cupboard ain't empty
- Coastal Carolina, good football team but great swim team
- Arkansas, B in T was born in Ark., and pork blood in him!
- Jenks, Offensive Linemen have more pancakes than Village Inn!
- Bixby Blue 6th grade moms, not sure how this got in here
- Texas, new Coach, still suck
- Ole Miss, gangstas, again nuff said
- Miami, just discovered that three of their players actually graduated!
- Penn State, no comment
The St.Louis Cardinals are attempting to give me a 10th stroke by actually leading the National League Central for longer than 2 days!! B in T has been told by his sober sources that Matt Carpenter will be traded to a Japanese team for a minor leaguer named Gung Ho! Go Redbirds!!
B in T heading to watch the Senior PGA with Maddie’s family for a birthday celebration for Gus at Southern Hills!! Andre, my son-in-law, is a caddy for Australian Open Champ Peter Fowler! This will be fun and I promised to not yell or break wind during someone's backswing!!
Have a great sports week!
B in T
Faked Out Sports
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