FOS/B in T
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FOS Notes Bout’Nuthin!
Thunder could be a 5 seed in the wild wild western conference! NBA Coach of the Year - Billy Donovan Oklahoma Thunder!!
Royal Family Midwest Tour Continues!
Summer Tour continues for Meghan and Harry and will be at the Bixby Barbeque and Blues Festival in early June!! They will pick the top barbeque rub winner in the Midwest!! The security detail will include the off duty Wagoner County Sheriff's Department and 40 tazor armed Northeast Oklahoma Eagle Scouts!!
XFL; To Watch Or Not To Watch, That is Thy Question!?!?
~Do I risk pissing off Mrs. B in T by bringing in another FOX TV football game to watch when doing honey do’s!!
~Do I find a fantasy league with other nerds? How do I grade running back from Niagara State??
~Do I root for the Dallas or St. Louis team? Cowboys or baseball Cardinals? Quite a dilemma!!
~Should I put any XFL souvenirs in my man cave? Let’s wait and see!
Things you may hear from stadiums that the corrupt Astros visit:
- Did you get the idea to steal signs from the 1997 movie ’Signs’?
- Is it true that you cheaters hired the drummer from Aerosmith to beat trash containers to relay the next pitch?
- Cheater, cheater pumpkin 🎃eaters! Had a World Series Trophy and couldn't keep her!
- You are a bunch of #%^*+=_\|~<>$ who should take the drum that u signaled the next pitch and stick it up your #%^*+= and twist it sideways 10 times!! You m#%^*+=s$£¥s, take your cheating #%^*and move to the Japan League!! Sinara #%^*+=_\|~<>$!!!!
- Astros, watch the visiting team food spread!! The chocolate pudding may not be chocolate pudding?!
FOS College Basketball Picks:
ORU 79 at Denver 76
ORU takes the Rockies baseball team plane to Denver to defeat the Skyways in Summit League basketball!! The plane was sequestered by Hall of Fame baseball announcer George Frazier!! The team all were comfortably riding in huge recliner seats and given free steak and lobster and a George Frazier Bobblehead doll!! ORU coach Paul Mills will no longer have to take trips to Colorado and the Dakotas by bus or bison!! The team simply takes commercial flights but they may sit in cramped seats next to kids who ask why you are so tall!! These cramped up commercial flights are much better for the Golden Eagle basketball team than the 10-hour bus trips to the Dakota megatropolis!!
Baylor 78 Kansas 71
The Baylor basketball team should get a standing ovation since they defeated the Jayhawks for the first time since Brad Pitt was on the sitcom Growing Pains!! Baylor big man Freddie Gillespie swatted a number of shots from Kansas and scored 16 points with 13 rebounds!! On one play Freddie aggressively went after a shot and ended up in the Kansas coach Self’s lap!! After the bench coaches for Kansas adjusted Bill’s toupe, play resumed!! The Big 12 game of the year is played in Waco with two rows of the Waco County Police Officers sitting behind both team benches!! The Jayhawks continue to need security on the road from the KU/KState rhubarb three weeks ago!! The security costs on the road will continue to come out of Bill Self account by auto-draft every two weeks!! The Baylor team has the length and speed to continue in the top 4 seed area a Tournament time!!
Arkansas 83 Missouri 68
The Razorback ticket sales have skyrocketed this year thanks to Coach Muscleman's exciting style of offense and Walmart offering free foot long Chilli Cheese dogs at their deli with each hog ticket stub!! Missouri is still wondering why Coach Frank Haith ever left to go to Tulane!! Or was it Tulsa? The Missouri Tigers are a year away from being decent, and two years away from making another coaching change!! Go figure! Arkansas went to the NBA to get coach Muscleman!! The Razorbacks have limited height but great length and Coach Muscleman knows how to use his players!
Oklahoma State 68 Oklahoma 66
The Oklahoma State team upset the Sooners with a last-second 30 footer by a dude with 3 fingers!! Yor Anei a 6’11” young man from Nigeria battled three mammoth tigers while saving a baby giraffe and himself (with the exception of the fingers, for each mammoth tiger)!! He is the first college basketball player to be on the cover of Pokes Illustrated and National Geographic!! All true, just GOOGLE it!! I promise!
Tulsa 72 SMU 67
Tulsa and SMU fans have always been competitive regarding their basketball teams and which fans are snootier and more preppy!! This year’s pre-game fan prep off party was moved from Utica Square (both sets of fans have been banned from Utica Square for 2 years) to the Celebrity Club!! Everything seemed copacetic until a Mustang patron in her early 70s became upset when her Ceasar Salad was not given as much grated Parmesan as a Golden Hurricane lady on the next table!! Somehow some grated Parmesan and Ceasar Dill dressing landed in the SMU ladies hair and a Animal House food fight ensued!! The Tulsa Police S.W.A.T. Team was summoned to break up the food fight with food sneeze guards to deflect the grated Parmesan!! Recently retired police chief Chuck Jordan (best Tulsa Police Chief ever) is now in charge of security for the Celebrity Club and the ruckus was defused in minutes!!
Tulsa is the surprise team of the American Athletic Conference this year!! The Golden Hurricane was projected to be 10th in the preseason media poll!! As of game day, they were tied for first and feeling good about possible postseason play!! The Ponies of SMU land were tied with the Tulsa this game would put the Hurricane in sole possession of first in the AAC!! The crowd was almost 7 thousand were raucous from the beginning!! Senior power forward Martins Inagua was dominant from the beginning and wound up with 22 points and 11 rebounds!!
Memphis 77 at Houston 72
Memphis and former Nike fundraiser Coach Penny Hardaway versus Coach Kelvin Sampson and his team of leg biters play at the home that Akim Olajawan built!! Tetanus shots were handed out like Gatorade to Tiger players and cheerleaders!! No shat!! Memphis 4 star recruits outplay Houston transfers by 5!!
These two Big 12 teams are feeling NCAA Tournament bound with a win this day!! Oklahoma’s big man Doolittle is not really a post player bit played like me against the Texas Tech Red Raiders!! At 6’8” 220 pounds he pulled down 12 rebounds and scored 14 points!!
Words of wisdom from the unwise one!! Stroke survivors, such as myself, should not try to crack an egg with their bad hand!
Have a great sports week!!
FOS/B in T
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B, in T
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