Bryan in Tulsa
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Bobbleheads Sports:
2021 National League Champs Braves bring kids to team meetings!!
During player, coaches, and wives meetings with the Braves, youngsters can come to the meetings as long as they are wearing headphones to block out cussing and another bad language during meetings that can be detrimental to the kids!! The Braves want to develop a family atmosphere in the clubhouse!! This year during Thanksgiving Day dinner B in T will hand out headphones for all the rugrats to wear while the wine 🍾 and the whiskey 🥃starts flowing with the so-called adults!!
B in T Notes:
Hideous Classless Coaching Changes for St.Louis Redbirds, Texas Tech Red Raiders and Texas Christian Horny Frogs!!
In today's sports scene the ownership or board of Regents can fire 🔥 a manager or coach, simply for not liking their hairstyle! My baseball Cardinals fired Coach Schlitz cuz he was not a disciple of Moneyball!! The Texas Tech Red Raiders fired my former TU, nicest coach ever, Matt Wells for going 5-3 this year!! And finally, Gary Patterson, who created winning football and helped TCU move out of the WAC and into the Big 12 and coached over 20 years in Fort Worth was fired at lunch last Tuesday!! All three will have numerous job offers to coach at other teams/schools!!
To Those Who Hate:
To Dallas Cowboy Haters:
Tis time to hate Santa Clause next huh?
To Branson Christmas Commercial Haters:
Where do I join?
To B in T Haters:
Stand in line!
To St. Louis Cardinal Haters:
Our new 35-year-old yuppy-metrosexual manager is smart too!!
To Tulsa Football Haters:
I bet you hate the Easter Bunny too!
To handing out candy on Halloween haters:
In some counties in Arkansas and Oklahoma, it is against the law to NOT hand out candy!! In Tonkawa, Oklahoma if you are caught not chunking out candy you will be Purged! True shat!!
To Pumpkin Man Haters:
Stand in line! Plus he is not real!!
To OU Haters:
How can you hate ‘College Football Greatness!!!!’
Top 10 New Age College Football Coaches:
- Peyton Manning - QB - Tennessee - Lots of football knowledge in that giant chrome dome head!
- Tim Tebow - QB - Florida - tried playing football and baseball, next coaching?!
- Josh McKown - QB - Sam Houston State - he has played QB for 9 different NFL teams!
- Donta Hightower - LB Alabama - playing for years under Bill Belichick, Hightower can play multiple defenses in his sleep!! Great coach from the D side of the ball!!
- Jason Witten - TE - Tennessee - not a broadcaster, recently retired and a Dallas Cowboy future Hall of Famer, and has a great mind for football!
- Tom Brady - QB - Michigan - first G.O.A.T. Coach ever!! He and Giselle fart out gold bricks!! Another Belichick disciple!!
- Jalen Hurts - QB - Alabama/Oklahoma - Lincoln Riley, Dick Saban - enough said!! Also has a stoic, no-smile coach's demeanor built in his genes!
- Ray Lewis - LB - Miami - he can clear a bar faster than any bouncer! His pregame speech will have players going through lockers and walls!
- Any child of Dabo Swinney or Brent Venables - Clemson - duh!
- Antonio Graham - LB - Pitt State - once hit an Emporia State player so hard he swallowed his mouthpiece, which - he - you ask? -- both. He is on numerous shortlists for Division II gigs but is holding out for an SEC job! He is a very confident young man and a B in T subscriber!!
College Football Picks:
Oklahoma 45 at Baylor 42
Saturday night ABC game with several Baylor greats on the sidelines!! Names such as Chip and Jo Ann Gaines, Robert Griffin III, David Koresh family, David Bliss former basketball coach, Art Briles, and Matt Ruhle were on the sidelines for this huge game!! The Sooners playboy kicker Gabe Brcack kick a 58-yard field goal as time ran out!! He was immediately signed to a 3 year NIL with Magnolia Inc. - Chip and Joanne Gaines's billion-dollar company!!
Tulsa 31 at Tulane 28
The next time we take the TU 65 and over Happy Timers Hurricane Club on a trip to anywhere close to Bourbon Street we need to ask ourselves 5 questions:
- WTFrick do we do this shat?
- Do we have bail bondsmen lined up?
- Have we done any Overview of Senior discounts on Bourbon Street?
- Number of barf bags to take?!
- Copies of the movie ‘Hangover’!?
Georgia 38 at Tennessee 34
Georgia is scary good!! Vegas has them as 3 point favorites over the New York Jets!! Tennessee and Coach Josh Heupel are taking over Knoxville by storm!! His run and chuck the ball 🏈 offense is a breath of fresh air in the SEC!! Just wait till football offense God Lincoln Riley enters the WAC........I mean SEC!!!
Iowa 32 Minnesota 27
Iowa at one time was number 2 in the AP poll and after 2 losses reality has settled into Hawkeye nation!! To tell my 2 Hawkeye readers ‘I told ya so’ would be cruel and usual punishment!!
Texas A&M 38 at Ole Miss 37
Tony the Land shark mascot for Ole Miss was bit on the fake fin by Revillie the Collie!! Lawsuits were immediately filed!! Shark Heads rolled!!
Virginia 24 Notre Dame 17
The Irish are shooting for the Wolf Brand Chili with Beans Bowl in Tulsa, Oklahoma!! Co-sponsored by Emmitt Hahn and Wolfe Brand Chili!!
Arkansas 31 at LSU 21
Arkansas had a farewell party for coach Orgeron and all his girlfriends he invited to practices this year!!
Iowa State 38 at Texas Tech 28
The Clones equipment team won the Big 12 award for the fastest time for loading football equipment with a time of 43 minutes and 49 seconds!! Kyle Highland, team leader, said that his squad squats more than half the Big 12 teams!! This includes 2 female equipment managers!! True shat!! Google it!!
Oklahoma State 42 TCU 27
The wittle horny frogs were subdued by the Cowboys in a closer score than indicated!! State was ahead of the Christians 28 to zip at halftime!! After a less than motivating halftime speech from Coach Boring the troops were outscored by 3 touchdowns in the second half!! Piiisttoools Fiiirriiing!!
High School First Round Playoff Picks:
6AI
Jenks 38 Norman North 20
The Trojans do not have the firepower of past teams but youth in the backfield has them still looking strong!! Three touchdowns in five minutes in the third quarter put Norman North cheerleaders on the warm bus before the final gun!!
Owasso 34 at Broken Arrow 20
The Rams spent the night after the game at the Broken Arrow Hollidome! If the Rams win the coaches promised the players a movie on the Playboy channel!! If they lost they were stuck with Pixar all night! Of course the Owasso boys won!! The Broken Arrow Holidome pool was loaded with football players and coaches!! The coaches had a cannonball contest and almost emptied the pool!! Owosso head coach dad Blankenship came down at 1 am and said this shat has to end, he then said a prayer and sent the boys to their rooms with a warm glass of milk!! I shat you not!!
Union 41 Yukon 17
Union devoured the Millers Friday night! The name of the Yukon Millers was supposedly given to the team from having miller 🐛 bugs in flour!! I have done exclusive research and discovered this was a Yukon urban legend! The real story reported Millers are named after a giant still in South Yukon the makes 50 kegs of Miller Light daily! Google it!!
6AII
Bixby 62 Putman North 7
The Bixby boys are so focused they would hang 60 points on their own moms!
BTW 38 at Stillwater 31
Oklahoma Coach Gundy and Oklahoma State Coach Gundy were at the game recruiting!! The two brothers were overheard discussing who has a larger turkey 🦃 from the Mounds Turkey shoot!! They agreed that both turkeys should be stuffed and eaten!!
5A
Pryor 28 Bishop Kelley 17
The Pryor Tigers have labeled their defense as badasses!! BK has offered no defense for their poor defense!!
Coweta 31 Tahlequah 15
The team whose mascot is a tiger should win this game! Coweta had the size to put the Tahlequah Tigers away!!
4A
Cushing 41 Elk City 13
Elk City is famous for having discovered the first Elk Mule in Oklahoma on July 15, 1887!! Has anyone here in the Tulsa area ever been to Elk City? Big Foot and Big Elk (their mascot) roam in the Sasquatch Hills!! This gargantuan Elk has been reported up to 7ft tall from hoof to shoulder with another five feet of head and antler!!
B in T Nephew Caleb registered 14 tackles, a pick-six, and a NIL deal with Billy Bobs Barber to cut his curly locs off if they play in the state Championship!!
Wagoner 28 Hilldale 12
The Wagoner Paw prints were redirected to the local Wagoner Sonic instead of the Odom Football Stadium!! Hilldale folks were immediately given free mocha shakes for their unplanned trip to the Wagoner Sonic!! The Wagoner Senior class has claimed responsibility!! The investigation has not ruled out local skinheads or the Taliban! True shat!!
3A
Heritage Hall 47 Pauls Valley 6
The Cascia of the west dominates the OKC public schools!!
Lincoln Christian 56 Vinita 7
The Lincoln Christian Bulldogs dominated the Vinita Mud Hornets while Bulldog moms started black Friday shopping early on their Amazon free delivery accounts!!
Holland Hall 46 Checotah 13
Holland Hall ramrods Checotah Shakakans!
2A
Cascia Hall 34 Hugo 20
The Hall finishes the season strong and keeps the lights 💡 on in the weight lifting gym for infinity!!
Metro Christian 21 at Sperry 20
Metro upsets Sperry and sends the hunters out early to shoot Bambi!!
Mom O Meter Sperry Moms .981 Metro Moms .968 The Metro moms were dealt a blow to their Deer Bow and Arrow team leader, Bev Schnikenberger inadvertently shot part of her ear off two days earlier!!!! Google it; I always tell the truth!!
Diner of the week Sperry!!
Sunny’s Old Country
Highway 11, Sperry
The best biscuits and gravy in Green Country!! Folks from Sperry have stated that on Saturday morning after a Sperry home game the lines to get in Sunny’s wrap around the building!! ‘When u see the town Mayor from Skiatook in line you know the B and G at Sunny’s is big-time!’
A
Tonkawa 45 Wayne 7
The town of Wayne was named after Vegas star Wayne Newton! Young Wayne’s father built the first underground 🎱 pool hall in 1907 in Wayne, Oklahoma!! Money flowed illegally through betting and then came moonshine!! The Newton family moved to Las Vegas and the rest is history!
NFL Perfect Pro Picks:
Cowboys 35 Falcons 13
Dallas played all second-teamers and taxi squad players in this so-called game!! Back up QB Cooper Rush who's name alone demands respect, threw for 289 yards, and 3 touchdowns in the first half!! Owner Jerry Jones declared his team playoff bound between Jaeger shots out of his drool cup!!
Browns 27 at Patriots 24
Browns running back Nick Chubb ran over three Falcon defensive backs and a Line Judge referee en route to a 34-yard touchdown run in the 4th quarter!! Baker Mayfield credited his teammates and his Progressive Insurance Commercials for the victory!!
Raiders 31 Chiefs 21
The Raider Nation fans like to dress up like the bad dudes on Mad Max movies with Mel Gibson!! Some of these maniacs are so scary that K.C. QB Mahomes wanted a penalty flag thrown against the 6’10” dude with leather pants and a silver and black mohawk!
Cardinals 34 Panthers 24
The Cards Kyler Murray did the impossible against the Carolina Panthers!! He threw a pass behind the line of scrimmage, a Panther lineman knocked the pass in the air, Murray caught the ball and ran 58 yards for a touchdown!! Only Kyler Murray can do this!! He later played a 2-hour chess match against guess who......himself!!
Have a great sports week!
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B, in T |
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