Bryan in Tulsa:
HAPPY🦃 THANKSGIVING!
LIGHTS ON UTICA SQUARE
KICK OFF THE CHRISTMAS SEASON WITH B IN T 🎄🎅☃️
Things seen at Utica Square Lights On!! Over/Unders (O/U)
*Number of Electric Cars - 250 per Vegas
Take the under - lots if oil and gas money in the Utica crowd!!
*Number of Biden stickers on cars at Light On:
4 per Vegas
Take the under-and check out the latest polls!
*Number of Lulu Lemon his and her outfits at Lights-On
350 per Vegas
Take the over bro- jet setters all over The Square!!
*Number of French Bulldogs on a leash at Lights On -
15 per Vegas
Take the under - lots of dog theft in the Utica area!
*Number of students high on brownies at Lights-On- All of them per Vegas
Take the way under - lots of parents and police on horses at Utica!
*Number of little farts smiling when snow falls during Light-On
All of them per Vegas
Take the over, cuz the adults smiled as well 🎄😀🎄😀🎄😀
*Number of fake Gucci handbags at Lights-On-
165 per Vegas
Take the Over - the Gucci movie with Lady Gaga increased sales for the real and the fake Gucci bags!!
*Number of Outerspace Aliens in the Lights / On crowd:
25 per Vegas
Take the Over - A lot of attorneys in the crowd! How do you know, you ask? By simply looking at the large number of Argyle sweaters at The Square of Utica Thanksgiving night!
*Number of folks in the crowd that are emitting gas bubbles:
750 per Vegas
Take the Over - Turkey stuffing and Utica Square Peppers Restaurant giving away free fiber pills all day during Thanksgiving at Lights On!
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Thanks to a friend of B in T nation and a man of The Cloth 🙏 B in T has created a slightly deviated Holiday Ice Cream Top 10:
(Holiday....ish)🦃🎄
10. Rum Cake Baskin Robbins - adults only, not for kids, dogs, and old farts on blood pressure medication!
9. Devil's food cake Braums Ice Cream - red velvet is the closest to the Holiday theme, as this gets!
8. Christmas Bean - simple ingredients, mint, cocoa bean, and Blue Bell Ice Cream!
7. Moo-Limonium Yuppy Braums Ice cream with triple chocolate fudge! So much sugar there is no need for the yupsters to take speed!
6. Chestnut Butterscotch Cookie Dough Lite, BRAND NEW from Blue Bell! Great Ice Cream while watching chestnuts roasting by an open fire 🔥!
5. Abominable Snowman Rocky Road Bluebell Low Fat Bluebell Ice Cream! Great low-fat ice cream for the holiday! 🎅
4. Spicy Peppermint (Green) Ice Cream with nitro-green jalapenos!! Holiday favorite during afternoon siesta!
3. Dutch Chocolate Egg Nog decaffeinated ice cream!! This was created at the Swiss Alp’s Blue Bell last month!
2. Pumpkin Expresso Cookies and Cream Blue Bell Ice Cream! Pumpkin innards with coffee grinds from Brazil, in a blender then serve ice cold!
1. Brand New in 2022! Mint Pecan Caro Pie with Chocolate Chip Crust Ice Cream by Tom&Jerry’s Ice Cream (#1 by a mile for Reverend Ross, this will be in the New Heavens and New Earth, not even a question! Amen bro!)
FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM
Bobblehead Sports:
B in T College Picks:
BV
Oklahoma 45 at Texas Tech 34
The Red Raiders were jacked up for this game, and a record crowd was anticipated until a late-season desert tornado🌪️in Lubbock, TX for the first time in over 100 years!! Hail, lightning, and rain poured down from the skies!! An anticipated game day crowd of 65,000 was reduced to 14,432 staunch fans plus 30 plus Armadillos!! The Sooner offense was keyed by running back Eric Gray who ran for 156 yards and three touchdowns!! OU wideout Marvin Mims caught 10 passes for 130 yards and 1 TD!!
Houston 45 Tulsa 34
The Tulsa defense has decided, like NBA sucky teams, to tank the remainder of the season! This is the first time the issue of tanking games in college football has arisen! Fake tackles dropped passes, and errant 5-yard passes missing by 25 yards were very similar to the actual Golden Hurricane!
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But, the Hurricane's future looks bright with President Brad Carson's backing of athletics!! With action!
Oklahoma State 31 West Virginia 27
The Mountaineers seem to be in the middle of a diaper fire 🔥 with coach Neil Brown handing out resumes while in the state of Oklahoma! TU, Union, and Jenks all had received mail from Morgantown, Athletic Department, N. Brown!?!? Oklahoma State won the game with another Gundy at QB!! Jamir Gundy is a midseason transfer from Montana State supposedly no relation to Coach Gundy, and threw for 2 touchdowns in the second half!!
Arkansas 38 at Missouri 26
The Alamo Bowl scouts are begging for a win so the Hogs will bring 100,000 fans and families to enjoy San Antonio’s Riverwalk!! Arkansas QB Jefferson puts the entire team on his broad back, passing and running to a victory!!
Iowa 3 Nebraska 2
Snow fell gently in the second half, and a beautiful picturesque scene, as the young patients at the Stead Family Hospital received the Hawkeye Wave!! Iowa Cities's downtown area with its Christmas decoration 🎀partially hung, looked like a scene from Charlie Dickinson's ‘Scrooge’!! The breathless scene I just described was ruined by the actual football game, with Iowa throwing up a 1 point victory!! Take the under, please!
TCU 92 Iowa State 0
The State's first and second-string defenses refused to come out in the second half until the offense fuuurrrricking scored!! The Clones pulled the scout team from the stands, some ‘suited up for looks’ freshmen, and the top-ranked equipment managers team and held them to 92 points!! Also, the running clock rule was used for the first time in college football history!
Take the under Kevin!
Hope your happy Zod!
Notre Dame 31 at USC 28
The Irish defense slowed down the potent Lincoln Riley gimmick offense! Initially, both athletic directors were livid with the halftime when the So Cal Marching Band The Spirit of Troy’ was canceled for rapper Kendrick Lamar, after seeing the overflow crowd of 120,000 (the stadium holds 90,000) but after the turnout, the ADs were all smiles!!
Texas A&M 27 LSU 21
Huge upset for the Aggies as new LSU coach Brian Kelly, as he often did at Notre Dame, looked dazed and confused while they lost to a team they were favored to win by two touchdowns!! Reveille, the doggy mascot for A&M, hiked his leg and whizzed on coach Jimbo Fisher at halftime, bringing a standing ovation from the Aggie HUGE donor section!! Reveille signed a Name Image Likeness (NIL) deal with Oakleys of College Station for dog treats and a new house in Woodlands!
Kansas State 38 Kansas 21
Only 10 to 20 folks outside of the state of Kansas or the state of sanity care who wins this game! The KState running game has 2 speeds, deliberate and very deliberate! Kansas’, almost a Heisman candidate, Jalin Daniels throws three interceptions and loses 1 NIL deal!
Illinois 34 at Northwestern 12
The Illini are looking good for the Rose Bowl!! The last time Illinois went to the Rose Bowl, Justin Bieber was singing on U Tube, the Bears still sucked, and medical marijuana brownies were illegal!!
Boston College 23 Syracuse 21
This was BC’s Bowl game per se; in fact, some wealthy alums shipped 1,000 tons of sand around Alumni Stadium! Now you throw in 1,000 beach chairs, 200 umbrellas, 50 margarita machines, and a BOOM instant Hawaii Aloha bowl at one-tenth the cost!!
B in T High School Playoff Picks:
Bixby 56 Jenks 42
Game is being played at AT&T Stadium in Arlington!! This was the largest stadium that could be rented at Friday at 8 pm with an agreement with ESPN to pay each school $500k gissell for rissell!! No shat!!
Union 45 Owasso 31
Will this be Coach Blankenship's last game? The Tulsa University, Union, and Owasso legend is contemplating retirement to follow his 14 grandkids! B in T is projecting a retirement and a two-man race between a current staff member and a dead man walking Jimbo Fisher!! Union defense has reserves on some D1 recruiting lists!
Carl Albert 42 Grove 31
in Owasso
The CA Tigers have several players with only payable NIL deals, upon winning a state title!! So many players are close to wearing a fur coat from Clancy’s Mens Wear in Midwest City!
Cushing 42 Elk City
Cushing is the Bixby of 4A, and they have more weapons than Trump's home at Mar a Lago!! The Elk City Elks are mainly sponsored by the Elks Lodge where on December 14th, they are showing ‘Elf’! During game week the Cushing O-linemen were treated to a steak per pancake from the quarterfinals victory!! Two local steak houses were closed for a week, waiting for more meat!!
B in T Pro Picks:
Cowboys 27 Giants 24
The Giants are very determined to beat Dallas in Dallas!! Eventually, the Giants realized they were the Giants and the Cowboys realized it was Thanksgiving and they always win on Turkey 🦃 day!!
Chiefs 38 Rams 17
Rams Sean McVay is no longer the cute cuddly new-style coach when winning!! Instead, he now wears a wig and Eldon John sunglasses when hanging in LA with his neighbor Lincoln Riley!!
Bears 27 at Jets 21
Bears score 4 safeties, 4 field goals, and a pick 6 by DE Trev Gibson!!
Cardinals 31 Chargers 24
Backup QB Colt McCoy has had more success than 5-foot nothin' starter Kyler Murray because the team looks up to him, easier than Kyler!
Have a great sports week!
B in T
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Sponsors:
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Andre Tourihno, Golf and Fitness Expert, Southern
Hills
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Colin Magruder, Mtg Broker, Evolve Bank Speedling
Inc.,
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Steve’s Happy Dog Home,
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Christina Morrill,
United Country
Landrum Realty, Inc.
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