Faked Out Sports - Bryan in Tulsa
FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM
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FOS Notes:
Treat your special someone with sports-related Valentine's Day gifts!
- A great gift for any spouse who loves watching bunnies play football - Brach’s chocolate-covered bunny carrying a Carmel NuGet stuffed Chocolate NFL official football 🏈!!
- A subscription to Faked Out Sports can be purchased for 1.99 a month! Great Valentines Day for the sports fan who likes to bust a gut!!
- A dozen roses out of your favorites team colors!! If your special honey bun loves the Oklahoma State Cowboys make them cry tears of joy (hopefully) with orange and black roses!! Yes I said black roses!!
- A beautiful heart-shaped cake with the entire 2021-22 schedule of your favorite team in blood-red icing!! A particular meaning to be determined by the blood-red icing!! This gift may not please a wifey poo but the sports maniac man of your life will love it!!
- Beautiful lingerie for your wife with the colors of your favorite team and bouncy balls 🏈 tassels included for no extra cost at the Pink Rose Boutique for Valentine's Day!! Your wife may use this for her hubba bubba if that floats her boat!!
B in T updated chances for local schools to go dancing:
Tulsa - 20% - TU can't shoot and lately no D
Oklahoma - 97.89% - OU has some thoroughbreds
that can play D
Oklahoma State - 50% - Cade Cunningham makes them a shoo-in for the Dance but NCAA violations from former staff makes this year cloudy!
Arkansas - 80% - noncon schedule was a joke, but superstar freshman Moody makes them fun to watch!
ORU -
A Super Bowl of nerds at a recent party who will remain nameless!
- Cheapscape - the dude who brings a partial six-pack of Natty Light and eats 4 plates of food!
- Blow up the bathroom dude - he will walk out of the bathroom and state that someone died in the toilet!
- The Lingerer - he will stay at the party until 30 minutes after it’s over, talking about politics or the stock market!
- The Chatty Patty - talks about Grocery sales at Sprouts through the whole stinking game!! Might be a ‘Karen’!! Never invite a ‘Karen’ to a party involving a 🏈 ball!!
- Know it all dude - he played 1 year of 6th-grade football and knows more than Tom Brady!!
- Skinny jeans young fart - hits on your wife while you are watching the Super Bowl!!
- Couch hog - this nerd takes up two spots on the prime couch spot and when he or she finally moves leaves the following: hardened cheese;
beer stains;
Smashed chips;
Small cat;
- Too Smart to watch football dude:
This person goes to
Super Bowl parties for
spouse!! They simply
find an empty den and
read a book and
smokes a cigar or
joint!! Talks to no one!
B in T Final Attempt at Yoga!
In yoga class, I have learned some new words and phrases that I might use in my sports stuff!! Example: "please widen your anal blossoming stance Bryan" also "Bryan , please refrain from flatulating while doing rear flexes' and finally ' Mr Lohmeyer, there is NO grunting, howling, or cussing in yoga, and please modify your deep body bends to a less exposed position!!! I do not think I will last much longer in this Yoga stuff! Pilattes?? Thats coffee right?? Venti pilate mocha?? Right?? 🎃😍
Bobblehead Sports:
Why Parents Do Not Wear Masks to the YMCA Children Sporting Events:
- Their children do not wear masks so mom and dad ain’t gonna!
- Wearing a mask 😷 shows that you support communism and are not a patriot of the USA according to numerous folks who crashed the White House!!
- The masks clash with their wife-beater t-shirts!!
- They can show off the teeth they DO have!!
FOS College Basketball Picks:
Michigan 78 Illinois 75
The Big Ten knows how to recruit big tight ends in football and 6’7” slow power forwards and still win!!
Oklahoma 74 at West Virginia 72
The Sooners are tough with Barry Manilow Manek and Austin Reaves back in the lineup and healthy post coronavirus!!
Arkansas 88 at Missouri 85
Superstar, one and done Moses Moody from the Hogs lit up the Tigers for 21 in the second half and signed and shoe contract after the game!! No shat!!
ORU 71 South Dakota State 68
The Golden Eagles get a huge road win in Brookings, South Dakota, and then immediately head to Fargo, North Dakota in a puddle jumper plane to find a McDonald's to get a Big Mac!! The team was promised Micky Ds or a Big Foot hunt if they win and they picked the burgers!!
Oklahoma State 82 Kansas State 66
The OSU Cowboys are playing good tournament basketball under coach Boynton!! He can recruit but can he coach in the tough as chicken gizzards Big 12 conference!!?? I like their chances in the big DANCE in Indianapolis if they are not excluded by the NCAA violations brah!!!
Have a great sports week!!
Bryan in Tulsa
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