Bryan in Tulsa
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FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM
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Tulsa Football has recently been voted the second-quietest football venue in America! Thanks. As a TU homer I have conducted my poll and placed the Cane fans in my own top 10!
B in T Top 10 Loudest Football Stadiums on Oklahoma:
- OU - 80,000 loud fans plus SOME scattered boos are starting!
- OSU - the dam paddles are very loud and intimidating!! Brings back memories of Coaches at Hale High and butt throbbing!!
- UCO - Chad Richison Stadium is slightly louder than Bixby!
- Bixby Spartans - the stadium is a good size but the 2,000 blue and red lawn chairs make Bixby small-town loud!!
- Jenks Trojans - the Jenks cowbells are very loud and obnoxious!
- Owasso Rams - Fans are extremely loud, and have nowhere else to go in Owasso!
- Booker T Washington - the band plays the WHOLE game, great atmosphere!!
- Tonkawa - not necessarily the stadium by itself, but the turkey 🦃 calls surrounding the stadium during hunting season!
- TU - Bring back the fricking cannon like the old days!! Before TU's current President took charge a crowd of 15,000 barely hits 3 decibels after a touchdown, and some elderly folks get upset with the noise from touchdowns!! Control your frickin hearing aid volume!! I know, I do!!
- ORU Flag Football - can be loud, even with no specific stadium! Gets very loud if you sneak in wine spritzers!!
Bobblehead Sports:
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B in T Diner of the week:
*****Special Edition******
A couple of weeks ago one of my 12 subscribers (RC) noticed I omitted the B in T Diner report! Ok, whatever, after writing 1.5 billion sports words of wisdom, I did make my first omission eeeeever!! So the special Diner edition has Mr. and Mrs. B in T in Houston (this is REALLY a true story) at the largest bar in Texas- Kirby's Ice House! Our lovely and generous family in Houston had reserved a couch for me in front of the largest screen 💻 in the history of big screens!! As we arrived at Kirby's my jaw dropped when I saw a line wrapped around and down the street!! We were summoned to the front and escorted (we looked humble as we walked past the Houston jetsetters with my cane) to our couch and sat in front of Humongo Vizio to watch the TU-Temple game!! We had surprisingly the ONLY TV on the Tulsa game! Great fun in Houston!!
B in T RANDOM:
-Never ask for pickled pigs feet in Sprouts!
-At least my son can pick up TU cheerleaders!🤪
IMG_3926.HEIC
-When said game is over never have college football teams exit through the same tunnel if said teams have felons!!
B in T College Picks:
Oklahoma 42 at West Virginia 35
BV
The Sooner faithful are happy to play in West Virginia where no one has a clue that ‘being average’ is now acceptable for the Oklahoma football team!! Sad, very sad. Opponents no longer can be mean to the Sooners when they come to Morgantown!! Lots of folks feel sorry for the Sooners and their porous defense that leads the nation in Tackle Whiffs! This is a new category that estimates the tackles missed by each team! OU is number one in that stat!! The Morgantown mothers welcomed the pitiful Sooners with homemade pies, cobblers, and brownies when the team arrived after 18 hours on a bus!! The team was given free passes to the Morgantown Distillery with free samples of moonshine in thimbles!! Potent stuff!! The Sooner players were touched and then proceeded to cry! Oh, the Venable Sooners were playing a possum game and rallied from 20 points down in the 4th quarter to win the game!! This really happened!!
Google it!
Tulsa 34 at Memphis 30
Excitement reigned because the TU Happy Timer (72 years and older) Alums stayed at the Peabody Duck Hotel! Unfortunately, one of the TU Happy Timer men was arrested by Memphis SWAT for shooting a duck on the second-floor stairs!! The gentleman, who will remain nameless, was released because of his part-time job as an Elvis impersonator!! The Memphis PITA folks demonstrated during the game and our Happy Timer man kindly gave them the bird!
Oklahoma State 19 Iowa State 17
Oklahoma State’s defense had 8 sacks and the Clone D had 7 sacks!! Both teams were really into sacks in Stillwater on this day!! And both teams offenses played like sacks of shat! So enough talk about shat, I have to get back in the sack!! Hahaha! State gets a safety with 1 minute left in the game when Clone QB Hunter Deckers tripped and fell in the end zone!! No Cowboy defender was within miles!! Decker complained to officials that he was tripped by the Oklahoma State paddle people!! B in T never tells a fib!!
Baylor 38 Kansas State 33
The Baylor Bears ruined the Mildcats chances of the Valero Alamo Bowl in San Antonio!!
Arkansas 38 LSU 24
The Razorbacks played their best overall game of the year!! Speaking of overalls, Razorback superfan Pigman was seen at the game in the middle of the worstest fans in college football - LSU Tiger fans!! See Pigman below:
PIGMAN
North Carolina State 42 Boston College 31
The Wolfpack are becoming a strong ACC football school!! The Wolfpack’s Athletic Director states they will apply for admission to the SEC within 90 days! That will NOT happen! Tulsa and even ORU have better chances!!
BC may not be Bowling this year and with the Patriots sucking badly times for BC HOCKEY🏒🏒🏒🏒🏒🏒🏒
Illinois 50 Purdue 13
Illinois starters had their shoulder pads off by the 6-minute mark in the 3rd quarter!! Coach Bielema looked at the players, smiled and took his shirt off! Whaaaat? Looking good Coach!! Go Fighting Illini!
Texas A&M 31 Tonkawa 13
Last-minute nonconference opponent to replace a snowed-in Montana State helicopter!! Thanks goes out to the Lieutenant Mayor of Tonkawa who could not accept money for the Tonkawa High School!! Instead, A&M will have NIL deals for Tonkawa kids for the next 10 years with a 1 million dollar trust!! These funds will be for college tuition to Texas A&M for all football players plus A&M will give Tonkawa Future Farmers of America 50k per year for livestock purchases and grooming!! Tonkawa now loves the very, very below average Aggie team, AND the Buccaneer school system has tripled to 139 students!!
Cousin Charlie receives a $50,000 check for the Tonkawa FFA!!
Michigan 42 Nebraska 28
Coach Khaki - the man from Michigan defeats the Chuckers by 2 touchdowns as the temporary Chucker coach-in-waiting will battle LSU's defensive coordinator Bo Pelini to be the next coach!! And yes B in T is projecting former Nebraska head coach Bo Pelini to be the next Cornhusker head man AGAIN!!
Texas 28 TCU 27
🤣🤣🤣Upset Special🤣🤣🤣
The Shorthorns just became relevant with a huge victory over Big 12 leader TCU!! With the victory, Texas University trustees released some slack in the noose around coach Sarkisian’s neck! Coach Sark also agreed to an addendum to his contract that he does not have to stay for the Eyes of Texas song after a loss!! He be headin’ to the hills!
B in T High School Playoff Picks:
6AI
Union - Bye
Owasso 38 Westmore 12
The Rams welcome Westmore with the winner facing The Bixby Spartans!!
The Rams rested their starters in the second half allowing Westmore to score 2 touchdowns in the second half!! Owasso's Defensive coordinator still made the reserve defenders do STADIUM STAIRS Saturday early morning! Dang bro!
Jenks 47 Edmond North 21
The Edmond North Husky dog mascot is the largest in America!! The dog, whose name is Polar King, joins the team huddles, and celebrates with all the players! Jenks stud QB Ike Owens, named after Dwight D., was 13 for 20 for 234 yards with 2 TDs and 1 new NIL deal!!
Bixby- Bye
Broken Arrow 42 Norman 35
Not many high school aficionados thought Broken Arrow would beat the upswing west side new rising Star in the Norman Tigers! Norman football had one of their best seasons ever and Tulsa World czar Barry Lewis is yet to do a full-page article! Let the Oklahoman have a story!
To much size for Norman with Broken Arrow Mammoth Tigers and its O-lineman Clydesdales!!
Class 6AII
BTW 41 Putman North 18
In the past years, this score was not unsuspected but this year’s win was considered an upset!!
Class 5A
Del City 42 Bishop Kelley 31
Del City fans were very stoked to win a first-round game at home!! The Comets have a young team with many superathletes that will make BK a power over the next 2 years!! As the Snow Furniture dude states ‘I guarantee it!
Midwest City Carl Albert 42 Lawton Mac 21
Carl Albert has been doing secret NIL deals since the 70s!! Envelopes with money were invented by some football moms and assistant principals at CA in the ‘80s!
Class 4A
Cushing BYE
Class 3A
Cascia Hall 41 Muldrow 16
The Bulldogs from Muldrow went up 6 zip 1 minute into the game!! After the opponent scored, the Cascia team was immediately summoned to an impromptu butt-chewing from legendary coach Medina!! The entire crowd heard coach Medina state such vulgar words as dang, darn, poopy, and his fav bad word dadgummit!! The team became so psyched out of their minds, the Comandos scored on 5 straight possessions!!
Lincoln Christian 52 Bristow 18
LC has more offensive weapons than the Philadelphia Eagles!!
Metro Christian 45 Pauls Valley 6
Pauls Valley invited Sylvester Stallone, who was in Tulsa for a month filming Paramount’s Tulsa King, to the annual Pauls
Valley Noodling Festival but he was conveniently busy during the tournament!! Metro QB has college scouts drooling!!
B in T Football Mom Meter
Paula Valley Moms .982
Metro Christian Moms .972
Due to Pauls Valley having the top 3 Noodling moms in the world, this contest was not permitted by my judges. This was replaced by bear wrestling which was easily won by the PV Panther moms!
B in T Diner of the week:
Punkins BBQ and Catfish
1911 W. Grant Ave.
Paula Valley, OK
The best-fried catfish in the state, in fact, the world!! It has been told, that a young couple with Lulu Lemon shorts ordered baked catfish and were ushered immediately out of Punkins by Pauls Valley Police!
Class A
Tonkawa 48 Mounds 12
Our cousin Kelly is the second toughest girl on this earth other than Mrs. B in T!! So when the Queen of Kay County can't get me a Friday night Buccaneer scores something must be wrong!! But all is good in Tonkawaville and I finally received an updated score from cousin Kelly after she gathered all her chickens that were cackling on main street!! Cousin Kelley’s chickens were frightened by a sudden storm and escaped the hen’s house!!Back to the game. Buccaneer Cam Johnson is slightly taller than the Astro's Altuve but can pancake guys twice his size! He pancakes 156 yards on 21 carries and 2 TDs and 1 Mounds cheerleader digits, amazing young man but should never step foot in Mounds, Oklahoma!
Hominy 38 Allen 6
The Allen team is not the juggernaut team from Texas but the semi-juggernaut team from Oklahoma, Hughes, and Pontotoc County!! Hominy is the only Class A school in Oklahoma to send a player to the NFL in 130 years!! Go Zaven!! Rumor has it that Zaven will show up for the Hominy 2nd round game in an Arizona Cardinals team helicopter!🚁
B in T NFL Picks:
Chiefs 38 Jaguars 13
Chiefs' reserves were doing cartwheels when the starters garnered a 28 to 0 halftime lead!
Cowboys 31 at Packers 27
Back-up QB, Cooper Rush, rallied the team to victory after Dak had a severe toe contusion from kicking his helmet after his third first-half interception!!
Bears 28 Lions 7
The Sooners have asked the Detroit Lions to schedule them soon in preparation for the SEC. Bixby and Jenks have already declined!! True shat dude!
Cardinals 27 at Rams 20
Cardinals receiver DeAndre Hopkins back from suspension for performance-enhancing 💊 drugs caught 18 passes for 253 yards and 2 touchdowns! DeAndre is always enhanced!
Have a great sports week!
B in T
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