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Faked Out Sports/ Bryan in Tulsa

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FOS Elf on the Shelf: TAILGATING ELF!!!!

The E on the S will be traveling with the University of Tulsa to Cincinnati for the American Athletic Championship this week!! Several Tulsa football players met the famous Tulsa E on the S at the Target Superstore toy aisle Wednesday before their trip to Bearcat Stadium!! The players invited the little fella on the trip for all the peppermint licorice he could eat!! He accepted and the Golden Hurricane were ecstatic that this Christmas Elf was attending his first football game with TU in Cincinnati!! And the Elf’s first coronavirus tailgate and AAC CHAMPIONSHIP!!

FOS Notes!

HOW DO YOU RESPOND TO A 6-YEAR-OLD WHO ASKS THE FOLLOWING?

Papa, If Santa can hand out Christmas presents to billions in one night, why can't he pass out the Coronavirus vaccine in one night?? I have no answer for the little fart!!

FOS Top 10 Coronavirus Christmas Comments!

Wear a mask and save someone's ASS!

I need a Martini in my Quarantini!!🍸🍸

Don't shoot a jolly round man in a red mask and suit with presents in your crib on the 24th!!🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁

A bright red Trump hat does no count as a Christmas hat!! Per Santa!!🤶🤶🤶🤶

Why is TU still playing football this late in the Christmas season!!🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄

I don't remember the reelection of Mayor Bynum!!?? Oh well, tis the season to be jolly!

Why are the Nutcrackers at Utica Square wearing bras from Saks Fifth around their wooden mouths!! Oh, CORONAVIRUS!?!?!

A Coronavirus vaccine for all of humanity would be the best Christmas 🎁 present!!

The second best Christmas 🎁 present would be a Lexus with a red bow!!

If Santa can hand out Christmas presents to billions in one night, why can't he pass out the Coronavirus vaccine in one night??

FOS Top 5 Horror Christmas Movies:

Krampus- this horned demon saves the world from egg nog with nutmeg and fruitcake!!

Silent Night, Deadly Night- bad little kiddos get more than coal and cat poop in their stockings!! Try, bat heads, eyeballs of gremlins, and reindeer testicles in your stockings!! A family Hallmark Special!!

Nightmare Before Christmas- 1994- first animated cartoon that combined Halloween Goblins and Christmas Grinches in same movie!

A Christmas Horror Story- 2015 - four horror stories narrated by William Shatner in a
dark Santa Suit!!

5. Better Watch Out- 2015 - a horror

take-off of the iconic movie Home

Alone where a young Kevin is lunch

for Zombie Elves!!

FOS Twelve Days of Christmas:

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me: one -- shot of whiskey!
Two more grandkids crying
Three Wisemen gifting
Four Turtle pies with chocolate
FIVE GOLDEN ONION RINGS
Six Stinking Bowl games
Seven Covid Cancellations
Eight Elves on the shelves
Nine refs a sleeping
Ten players quarantining
Eleven Santas swaying
Twelve yellow snowed Reindeer

AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE!!!!!

********Special Announcement*********

Recently Bryan in Tulsa was asked to be an assistant Break Dancing coach in the 2024 Olympics in Paris, France!! Let’s see, I accept!!

FOS College Picks:

Texas A&M 42 at Tennessee 21

The Aggies are postering to play the Sooners in the Cotton Bowl!! Aggie QB Monds flattened two Volunteer defensive backs en route to a ten-yard TD run in the third quarter!! Knoxville police helped A&M coach Jimbo leave the stadium after he was threatened to be flogged by the Tennessee drill team member!!

Big 12 Dr. Pepper Championship

Oklahoma 41 Iowa State 34

The Sooners defeated the Clones in Jerry World as the Clone Faithfull wept!! Numerous

cloners were arrested as they were tearing down the south goal post at AT&T stadium!! The stadium authorities explained to Clones that you can only tear down the goal post when you have won the game!! Evidently, Iowa State has never torn down goalposts and was not knowledgeable of goal post tear down standards!! At halftime the million dollar Dr. Pepper challenge had a lucky fan throw a football through a plate size hole from 50 yards away!! The 10-year-old youngster could barely throw the ball 30 feet and was from Ames, Iowa!! Which explained why the throw sucked!! Since the Pandemic rules change hourly, a young man from Norman was moved up to 20 feet from the giant tire sized hole and amazingly made the shot for a MILLION DOLLARS!!

Sun Belt Conference Championship

Louisiana 38 Coastal Carolina 35

The Coastal Carolina Chanticleers are the dream team of 2020!! CCC is ranked 13th in the nation and shooting for a big six bowl with a power five team!! I have done quite a bit of research on the definition of a Chanticleer and have come up with squat!! A Nun’s Priest Tale is a Cantiberry Tale where a large Chanticleer monster 👺 kidnaps the Seven Dwarfs for a pot of Lucky Charms treasure as ransom!! I will be honest I have never heard of this story?!

Big 10 Championship

Ohio State 42 Northwestern 21

The Big 10 conference awarded the Buckeyes from Ohio State the championship game not from playing 5 average games but because their red and silver uniforms were closest to the colors of Christmas 🎄!! What the frick is going on with the Big 10 and Pac 12? Just send them packing and put the AAC in their place!!

ACC Championship

Notre Dame 31 Clemson 27

The Irish defeated Clemson for the second time this year!! Clemson QB Trevor Lawrence has numerous offers to cut his hair once he signs his multi-million dollar deal with the Jets!! New York male hair salons Fuushwa and Quwafflepu’ have already offered him contracts!!

American Athletic Conference

Tulsa 28 Cincinnati 24

I simply am geeked out of my mind that TU is in the American Athletic Conference

Championship!! Cincinnati and the rest of the universe have tried to avoid playing the Golden Hurricane!! Zaven Collins had 12 tackles tackling, 11 Bearcats shaking, 10 scouts a drooling, 9 million signing bonus waiting, 8 agents wanting Z, 7 cheerleaders also wanting Z, 6 pregame chickens, 5 GOLDEN HURRICANE PASS DEFLECTS, 4 Bearcat concussions, 3 TV 'Hi MOMs', 2 ESPN interviews, and a Bowl Game in a Peach Tree!

SEC Championship

Alabama 44 Florida 34

A win for Florida would shift the final four playoff predictions off its axis!! So I am predicting no upset win but I am predicting Coach grumpy Saban will miss the playoffs due to toe gout!!

FOS High School Playoffs:

2A Championship

Metro Christian 45 Washington 24

Metro ran through the 2A class like you know what through a goose with Exlax!!

The Washington Warriors have kept their nickname due to the vagueness of the Warrior term. This could be any warrior: A brave or experienced soldier or fighter per Wikipedia!! Anywho the Patriots beat the Warriors by 3 touchdowns!!

FOS Pro Picks:

Bills 33 at Broncos 17

Bills beat the Broncos in a snowstorm!! In fact, it was like the snowstorm that almost closed Christmas in the classic Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer!! At one point the football was lost in the deep snow around the 10-yard line and a red light from nowhere shined it's light so bright that the football was located!! True story!

Browns 38 at Giants 27

The Browns running game led by Nick Chubb is making the passing game led by Baker Mayfield operate very efficiently!! Baker threw for 2 touchdowns and the Chubbinator ran for 2 touchdowns!!

Saints 31 Chiefs 21.

The Saints defense clamped down on the KC Chiefs like a pit bull on a ham hock!!

Cowboys 28 49ers 27

The Cowboys started Colin Kapernick at QB and after the Cowboy win, was carried off the field on the team's shoulders!!

Vikings 24 Bears 13

The Bears brought back Jim McMahon to QB and the aging veteran was injured when his walker was wrapped around his neck by the entire Viking defensive line!!

Steelers 35 at Bengals 31

The Steelers played TJ Watt at QB and still pulled off a victory!!

Have a great sports week!!

FOS/B in T

by B in T -

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