Faked Out Sports/ B in T
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FOS Notes ’bout Nuthin!!
Will Fly Fishing or Noodling be the Experimental Sport the 2020 Summer Olympics?!?!
Oklahomans have written their senators, congressmen and their delegates from the International Olympic Committee to get Noodling approved!! So far Noodling advocates that still have all their fingers have had numerous meetings with the IOC but to no avail!! The IOC folks are somewhat fufuish, and prefer a nice game of cricket or croquet to noodling!!! The IOC has conceded that this sport is much more exciting than fly fishing!!! Fly fishing seems to be much more of an upscale wine and cheese sport with high dollar water retardent waders, Crocodile Dundee hats and fancy pullover jackets with 50 different types of fly fishing lures hooked on the front!! All needed with noodling is a hand that is attached, cut off shorts and a tank top or wife-beater shirt!! IOC loved the noodling cost analysis and was heavily on favor of noodling in the 2020 Olympics!
The Sooner Schooner is in Need of a Roll Bar to Keep the Kids and Horses Safe!!
FOS Safety Recommendations:
- Use mules to pull the Schooner! Much slower thus safer on the turns! PETA folks do not want mules!
- Use much heavier male and female Rufnex members to sit on the Sooner Schooner!!
- Use an enlarged red wagon pulled by 8 Rufnexs!! This would put the Oklahoma University in good standing with PETA (People for Ethical Rights of Animals)
- Realign the horsey poop bags to make sure they are evenly balanced through the complete wagon turn!!
- Use a squad of OU Mechanical Engineers to do quality control and to act as test dummies for Sooner Schooner practice runs!! I would like to volunteer a recent OU mechanical engineering graduate, son-in-law Clark to be the guinea pig for these tests!!
FOS Bobblehead Sports!
B in T is back to Gus and Ana’s 5-year-old and 3-year-old soccer games after 3 weekends of traveling to football games all over the state of Texas! Guss’ game is first and with his cunning passes, bicycle kicks, no-look passes and 3 goals scored!!! Papa and Mimi B in T happily headed to Ana 3 on 3, 3 years old soccer game mayhem!! Ana is not quite as gifted with her father's Brazilian soccer abilities as her brother is!! She does have her Papa’s bulk and was dominance over the other dainty soccer girls with pink bows in their hair!! If they could give out FIFA yellow and red cards for 3-year-old south Tulsa soccer, Ana would lead the league in that category, no doubt!!
FOS College Football Picks!
Oklahoma 41 Iowa State 27
Although Oklahoma’s defense is statistically 3 times better than the Mike Stoops era, coach Grincher is still not satisfied with his team!! After the OU defense recorded its 5th sack in the third quarter he was upset about the style of his team's sack dance!! Athletic Director Castiglione approved the hiring of a sack dance choreographer coordinator for the Sooners!! Choreographers from Broadway shows such as Oklahoma and Hamilton were interviewed by coach Grincher and head coach Lincoln Riley!! Neither coach had a clue about dance routines but they both knew exactly what they wanted in a sack dance!! Coach Grinch wanted a lot of hip thrusts immediately after the tackle!! Coach Riley wanted a smoothly orchestrated sack dance with at least three other defenders dancing in sync similar to the Spinners of the 70s!! They eventually hired Shasta Zappalinski, a Russian Choreographer of the traveling Ruskonoff Dancing Bears!! True story, trust me!!
Arkansas 28 Western Kentucky 27
The Razorbacks get a break from their monster SEC schedule to play the Hilltoppers of Western Kentucky!! There are numerous suggestions of what an actual Hilltopper is!! Most folks say the Hilltoppers are a singing group of 3 young men who were graduates from Western Kentucky State in the 60s, thus the school name and mascot were created! Google it nonbelievers!!
Clemson 36 at N.C. State 28
The Clairol For Men Quarterback from Clemson throws for 4 touchdowns, gets 3 State cheerleader phone numbers, 2 pairs of undies and one kiss from his mom!! This happened all in a typical day for Sir Lawrence of Clemson!!
Alabama 38 LSU 34
Possibly the game of the century for all of the brainwashed SEC fans in the deep south of America!! Alabama QB Taglavialova completed his first 10 passed while fellow Heisman counterpart, Joe Burrow completes his first 9 passes!! The show was on!! Both QBs hugged after the game and agreed the Jalen Hurts of OU will win the Heisman and they are just fighting for the runner-up participation trophy!!
Wisconsin 28 Iowa 24
Badger Running Back Johnathan Taylor became the 3rd back all-time to rush for over 5,000 career yards!! His giant linemen (330 average weight over 4 years!) have put away a lot of food over those 5,000 plus yards!! According to some numbers derived by FOS, the linemen have devoured 456 cows, 3,452 chickens, 47 fields of potatoes, and 1,222 gallons of milk!! It takes an army to reach those career numbers for Mr.Taylor!! Please do not forget America’s farmers!!
************Upset Special************
Minnesota 27 Penn State 18
Minnesota pulls a huge upset by slowing down Penn State’s offense by simply controlling the time of possession 39:50 to 20:10 for the Nittany Lions!! The Golden Gophers, which are a cousin to the Golden Bears of California, pulled all the stops to beat the Nittany Lions!!
A Gopher defeats a Lion, just sayin!!
Georgia 38 Missouri 20
The Georgia Bulldogs brought Mizzou back down to earth with a strong ground game and QB Fromme’s rifle arm!!
Texas 41 Kansas State 31
The Longhorn coaching staff is slowly learning to ignore the head coach and just do their own shat!! B in T has learned from his friends at TMZ that coach Herman has fake headphones and really listens to old Madonna songs and has no idea that a game is happening!! Wikipedia it!
Baylor 34 at TCU 21
Baylor coach Matt Ruhle is on a number of shortlists to be hired!! NFL teams, XFL teams, powerhouse College teams, Canadian Football teams, and Jenks High School have all contacted Ruhle’s agent for an appointment!! Coach Ruhle states he has no interest in any schools before the end of the Baylor current season!! After that please take a ticket and stand in line!!
Colorado 49 Stanford 33
The Buffaloes are very happy to beat the Stanford Cardinals because of some smack talking by the Stanford team right before kick-off!! Numerous Cardinal players were telling Colorado that they need to go back to the Big 12 learn how to play defense!! Colorado then hung half a hundred on Stanford and ended any future smack from the Cardinals!! Afterward, they all smoked a fatty together!! Peace!
Boston College 28 Florida State 26
Boston College lost to Kansas by 24 and Kansas lost to to Coastal Carolina 12 to 7!!Sooooooo once the Seminoles lose to Boston College, State’s coach Willie Taggert (no relation to country-western singer Merle) will be coaching flag football in Tampa!!
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B, in T
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1 comment:
Love the Gus and Anna show. You need to hire an artist and create a comic strip.
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