Bryan in Tulsa
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FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM
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Bobblehead Family:
Tre, Gus, and the giant SNOWMAN!!
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B in T’s brother, Tre, aka Tre dog, is staying at the Mimi plantation for a few days into weeks into months!! We have assigned him a few small seasonal chores such as leaf raking, dog poop detail, roofing the house, and most important of all he is in charge of helping Grandson and great-nephew Gus set up the 12-year-old giant 8-foot snowman in the front yard!! Both Gus and Tre understand that the Snowman must meet Mimi’s final approval!! If the man of snow leans more than one inch to the left, right, front or back there will be he🏒🏒 (double hockey sticks) to pay! With the wind blowing near 25 miles per hour and wind gusting up to 35 mph (according to Tulsa weatherman legend Travis Meyers), the Snowman was tossing Gus around like a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day balloon 🎈tossing Shriners!! When great uncle Tre dog arrived from his second nap he lassoed the Snowman and secured it with 10 stakes in the ground!! Christmas 🎄 is officially HERE!
SIDE NOTE: THE OLD SNOWMAN WAS STOLEN 2 DAYS BEFORE THIS ARTICLE!!! I HOPE ANOTHER FAMILY ENJOYS IT!! MERRY CHRISTMAS YA FILTHY ANIMAL!! I HAVE CAMERA EVIDENCE BUT.........🎁TIS THE SEASON!
(12-year-old inflatable was on its last leg, I did lose an extension cord)
B in T notes:
The REAL reasons the Lincoln log left Sooner Nation:
*USC Cheerleaders for ALL team recruiting functions!
*His skinny jeans are more stylish in Rodeo Drive than in Bixby, Oklahoma!
*Mo money, mo problems but we are talking mo mo mo mo mo money!
*Valley girls to discuss football with Lincoln! “What-ev-er, totally, pass me some kale bioooootches”!!
*In and Out Burger joints every block for his young family!! His adorable Mrs. will weigh 250lbs in 2 years!
*Democrats rule and at night turn into vampires!!🧛♂️🧛♂️🧛♂️
*Entertainment Capital of the World! Icons such as - Harvey Weinstein, O.J. Simpson, and Brittany Spears
*Beaches - ladies in thong bathing suites make the dude's crazy, thong bathing suits on guys - sick 🤮🤮🤮 please don't do it Lincoln log!
*Cannabis vending machines
*Dodger baseball under achievements!
*Modelling schools for his daughters
The Next OU Coach?
B in T Projections and odds-
David Aranda - Baylor HC - good looking bald dude - 20 to 1
Shane Beamer - South Carolina -
Knows the OU culture / coaches son - 3 to 1
Matt Cambell - Iowa State -
May be operated but good guy - friend of Kevin Highland - 75 to 1
Luke Fickell - Cincinnati - he is waiting for Pro gig or Ohio State 100 to 1
Mark Stoops - Kentucky - great name and good coach but not great. 100 to 1
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WINNER WINNER CHICKEN
DINNER!!!!
Brent Venable - DC - Clemson - not sure he wants an HC job - great defensive coach - knows the OU way! 4 to 1
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Bob Stoops - Fox Sports - of course, and why not? 5 to 1
Lorne and Phillip Montgomery (Bixby/Tulsa) Co-coaches - Lorne DC and Phillip OC! Long shot - 1000 to 1
Cliffy Kingsbury (NFL) - great fun to write shat about; very metrosexual with skinny jeans
1 billion to 1
Barry Switzer - Oklahoma/Dallas Cowboys - invented Sooner magic and still has swag - he has 20 good years left before he gets his first Sooner drool cup! 2-1
Top 10 Christmas Shows 1970 - 2000 - My favorite scenes:
National Lampoon Christmas Vacation - 1989 - the dog making hacking noises under the Christmas dinner table is my favorite scene!!
A Christmas Story - 1983 - my favorite scene is the little boy's tongue stuck on the iced pole!! Myself and 1 billion other folks love that scene!!
Santa Clause is Coming to Town - 1970 - my favorite scene is seeing a young Santa with red hair!!
Home Alone - 1990 - my favorite scene is when Kevin bonks the bad guys on the head with paint cans!
A Christmas Carol - George C. Scott - 1984 - my favorite scene is at the end when Timmy has a nice Christmas thanks to Scrooge's change of heart and special brownies!!
The Santa Clause - Tim Allen’s first - 1994 - my favorite scene is when Tim Allen, AKA Santa’s son, realizes that his dad is REALLY Santa!!
A Muppet Family Christmas - 1987 - my favorite scene is when Kermit the Frog realizes the rock candy mountain is actually real!! No shat!
Ernest Saves Christmas - 1988 - My favorite scene is when Ernest eats a whole Boston Cream pie in two bites! True story!! Google it!
How the Grinch Stole Christmas - Jim Carrey - 2000 - my favorite scene is when Jim Carrey AKA The Grinch replied to his dog “I asked for a half-inch and you gave me a 5/8 inch!! Stay focussed mutt!”
Jingle All the Way - 1996 - my favorite scene is when the toy Turbo-man comes to life and saves the two dads from killing each other for a toy on ‘roids!
College Basketball Picks:
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Arkansas 80 Oklahoma 75 BOK Center, Tulsa, Ok
The Razorbacks are hunting for a top 10 ranking and the Sooner mountain men are attempting to head them off at the pass!! Razorback guard Au’ Jean Toney from France has more moves the Pepe Le’ pugh!! Le’ pugh scored 18 points and led the Hogs to victory despite 22 points from OU center Tanner Goves!!
Tulsa 71 Southern Illinois 69
A barn burner at the Reynolds Center with transfer guard Sam Griffin scoring 24 points!! Twelve of the Hurricane players are transfers! The Christmas gathering at coach Haith’s house will be a ‘get to know ya’ gathering!!
Missouri State 80 ORU 72
Missouri State’s Hammonds arena is known as the house that Will Creekmore built!! Will is a friend of the B in T show and once blocked 12 shots in a game against Boone County State College!! State held ORU stud Abmas to 3 for 18 shooting from the 3-point range and 25 autographs!! His legend often proceeds itself!
Kansas 82 Missouri 73
The Jayhawks look solid in all phases of the game this year!! Missouri looks like a solid pick to be attracting another new coach at the end of this season!!
Iowa 77 at Iowa State 72
The Clones, for the first time in a while, have more athletes than they have roster spots available!! Super star in the making Clone, point guard Tyreese Hunter, is the first recruit ever from the small town of Sludgeville, Wisconsin!! Tyreese score 15 and had 8 assist against the trees of the Iowa Hawkeyes!! The Hawkeyes had too much height and length for the smaller Clonettes!!
College Football Picks:
Navy 31 Army 21
These two classic wishbone teams were so efficient with their clock management that the game only lasted 2 hours and 20 minutes!! The game sponsors requested a refund for their advertisement dollars!! The greatest and most honored college football spectacle in America was amazing!! Thanks for your service!!
NFL Picks:
Ravens 27 at Browns 21
The Ravens are dousing the chestnut flames in Baker Mayfield’s Hulu Christmas!!
Raiders 21 at Chiefs 20
Raider QB Derek Carr tried to imitate the Mahomes no-look pass and pulled a hamstring!! Replacement Marcus Mariota threw for the winning score with 30 seconds remaining!!
Cowboys 34 at Washington 28
The Cowboys continue to have major injuries but are playing hard against their division rivals! Cowboy O-Coordinator Kellen Moore has been mentioned for numerous college coaching jobs but his play-calling is getting questioned by Cowboy Nation and players!! Not good Kellen! But Kellen is on the shortlist for a Dallas Jesuit H.S. head-coaching job!
Packers 31 Bears 24
The Bear QB injury list continues to grow!! The Bears have signed two ex-TU QBs, Dane Evans (2016) and bullet Bob Curran (1963) to their taxi squad!! Actually bullet Bob drives the Taxi! Hahaha! A joke! Hahaha!
Cardinals 31 Rams 27
Cardinal Kyler Murray comes out of a full-body cast to throw 2 touchdowns and scamper for a third!!
Have a great sports week!!
Bryan in Tulsa
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B, in T |
