Frozen Tulsa Tundra

Faked Out Sports - Bryan in Tulsa

FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

FOS Notes:

B in T Thoughts!

G.O.A.T. Tom Brady poops gold bricks according to a TMZ exclusive!!

No shat!!

I noticed that Tom Brady would not let his 6-year-old daughter hold the Super Bowl Trophy!!  His two older boys threw the trophy around like a plastic football!!  The football team party boats threw the Super Bowl trophy around like old George Blanda passes!!  Bet Giselle will take care of that shat!!  She wears the pants in dat family!

Looking out for the Redbirds!!

Are the Cardinals better than the billion-dollar payroll Dodgers after the Birds landed the best third baseman since Moses took grounders Ramses!!??  

The Nolan Areando acquisition makes the Cardinals the favorite in the National League Central and will offer the Padres and Dodgers some competition!!

Football during a pandemic is over, and what we will remember:  

No fans in the stands, then a few fans and some cardboard cutouts in quiet stadiums.

NFL daily Coronavirus testing and 3 times a week for college football testing.

The smell of hand sanitizer and nacho cheese can grow on ya!

FOS Zaven Draft watch:

The latest draft nerds have Tulsa’s Linebacker Zaven Collins going as the 16th pick to the Miami Dolphins!!  Is teal blue a thinning color??  Go Dolphins!!

FOS Bobbleheads

Bobblehead dolls for the majors were made, boxed, and never used in Pandemic 2020!!. Half a billion bobbleheads are in storage in a small town in Oklahoma that we will call Bobbletown!!  Some player bobbleheads have been traded and/or free agency to another team!!  So what can we accomplish with 500 million boxes of heads?  Finish the Trump wall?  Put the little fellas in the pandemic stadiums so they look more populated!!  Trade all the bobbleheads to China for more vaccines and cocaine!!

First time I heard about paraprosdokians, I liked them. Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part takes an entirely different meaning!

.

1.   Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

 

2.   The last thing I want to do is hurt you . . . but it's still on my list.

1. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public

4.  To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

 

1. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

 

1. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency, notify..." I answered "a doctor."

 

1. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

 

1. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

 

1. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. 

1. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.

 

1. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

 

1. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

Cuck the wold feather!!

Spread the Laughter, let's be happy while we're here.

Have a great sports week!!

FOS- B in T

 

by B in T - FakedOutSports, syndicated in SoonerPolitics.org

B, in T

Sponsors: Andre Tourihno, Golf and Fitness Expert, Southern Hills Colin Magruder, Mtg Broker, Evolve Bank Speedling Inc., Leon Zinc III Uncle Thurston, Dallas, Tx Steve’s Happy Dog Home, Sherri Watson & Christina Morrill, United Country Landrum Realty, Inc. Chris Taylor, sports writer FanSided

Bob’s Bail Bonds and Car Wash (Chicago, IL) Big Brother Bill’s Psychic Palm Reading and Bed & Breakfast (Tulsa, OK) MR Bait, Fishing Tackle and Homemade Fudge Shop (Boulder, CO) Weh’s Wiener Wagon and Dry Cleaners, Lawrence, Kansas T-Brew’s Cockroach Farm and Pizza Palace, Tulsa, OK Dr. Richard Stephens DDS Roy Thomason Retired Sigma Chi TU

Sports and Valentines Day do mix!!

Faked Out Sports - Bryan in Tulsa

FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

soonerpolitics.org

FOS Notes:

Treat your special someone with sports-related Valentine's Day gifts! 

1. A great gift for any spouse who loves watching bunnies play football - Brach’s chocolate-covered bunny carrying a Carmel NuGet stuffed Chocolate NFL official football 🏈!!
2. A subscription to Faked Out Sports can be purchased for 1.99 a month!  Great Valentines Day for the sports fan who likes to bust a gut!!
3. A dozen roses out of your favorites team colors!!  If your special honey bun loves the Oklahoma State Cowboys make them cry tears of joy (hopefully) with orange and black roses!!  Yes I said black roses!!
4. A beautiful heart-shaped cake with the entire 2021-22 schedule of your favorite team in blood-red icing!!  A particular meaning to be determined by the blood-red icing!!  This gift may not please a wifey poo but the sports maniac man of your life will love it!!
5. Beautiful lingerie for your wife with the colors of your favorite team and bouncy balls 🏈 tassels included for no extra cost at the Pink Rose Boutique for Valentine's Day!!  Your wife may use this for her hubba bubba if that floats her boat!!

B in T updated chances for local schools to go dancing:

Tulsa - 20% - TU can't shoot and lately no D

Oklahoma - 97.89% - OU has some thoroughbreds

that can play D

Oklahoma State - 50% - Cade Cunningham makes them a shoo-in for the Dance but NCAA violations from former staff makes this year cloudy!

Arkansas - 80% - noncon schedule was a joke, but superstar freshman Moody makes them fun to watch!

ORU - 

A Super Bowl of nerds at a recent party who will remain nameless!

• Cheapscape - the dude who brings a partial six-pack of Natty Light and eats 4 plates of food!

• Blow up the bathroom dude - he will walk out of the bathroom and state that someone died in the toilet!

• The Lingerer - he will stay at the party until 30 minutes after it’s over, talking about politics or the stock market!

• The Chatty Patty - talks about Grocery sales at Sprouts through the whole stinking game!!  Might be a ‘Karen’!!  Never invite a ‘Karen’ to a party involving a 🏈 ball!!

• Know it all dude - he played 1 year of 6th-grade football and knows more than Tom Brady!!  

• Skinny jeans young fart - hits on your wife while you are watching the Super Bowl!!

• Couch hog - this nerd takes up two spots on the prime couch spot and when he or she finally moves leaves the following:  hardened cheese;

      beer stains;

      Smashed chips;

      Small cat;

• Too Smart to watch football dude:  

      This person goes to 

      Super Bowl parties for

      spouse!! They simply 

      find an empty den and 

      read a book and 

      smokes a cigar or 

      joint!!  Talks to no one!

B in T Final Attempt at Yoga!

In yoga class, I have learned some new words and phrases that I might use in my sports stuff!!  Example: "please widen your anal blossoming stance Bryan"  also  "Bryan , please refrain from flatulating while doing rear flexes' and finally ' Mr Lohmeyer, there is NO grunting, howling, or cussing in yoga, and please modify your deep body bends to a less exposed position!!!   I do not think I will last much longer in this Yoga stuff!  Pilattes??  Thats coffee right??  Venti pilate mocha??  Right??  🎃😍

Bobblehead Sports:

Why Parents Do Not Wear Masks to the YMCA Children Sporting Events:

1. Their children do not wear masks so mom and dad ain’t gonna!
2. Wearing a mask 😷 shows that you support communism and are not a patriot of the USA according to numerous folks who crashed the White House!!
3. The masks clash with their wife-beater t-shirts!!
4. They can show off the teeth they DO have!!

FOS College Basketball Picks:

Michigan 78 Illinois 75

The Big Ten knows how to recruit big tight ends in football and 6’7” slow power forwards and still win!!

Oklahoma 74 at West Virginia 72

The Sooners are tough with Barry Manilow Manek and Austin Reaves back in the lineup and healthy post coronavirus!!

Arkansas 88 at Missouri 85

Superstar, one and done Moses Moody from the Hogs lit up the Tigers for 21 in the second half and signed and shoe contract after the game!!  No shat!!

ORU 71 South Dakota State 68

The Golden Eagles get a huge road win in Brookings, South Dakota, and then immediately head to Fargo, North Dakota in a puddle jumper plane to find a McDonald's to get a Big Mac!!  The team was promised Micky Ds or a Big Foot hunt if they win and they picked the burgers!!

Oklahoma State 82 Kansas State 66

The OSU Cowboys are playing good tournament basketball under coach Boynton!!  He can recruit but can he coach in the tough as chicken gizzards Big 12 conference!!??  I like their chances in the big DANCE in Indianapolis if they are not excluded by the NCAA violations brah!!!

Have a great sports week!!

Bryan in Tulsa

by B in T - FakedOutSport SoonerPolitics.org

B, in T

Sponsors: Andre Tourihno, Golf and Fitness Expert, Southern Hills Colin Magruder, Mtg Broker, Evolve Bank Speedling Inc., Leon Zinc III Uncle Thurston, Dallas, Tx Steve’s Happy Dog Home, Sherri Watson & Christina Morrill, United Country Landrum Realty, Inc. Chris Taylor, sports writer FanSided

Bob’s Bail Bonds and Car Wash (Chicago, IL) Big Brother Bill’s Psychic Palm Reading and Bed & Breakfast (Tulsa, OK) MR Bait, Fishing Tackle and Homemade Fudge Shop (Boulder, CO) Weh’s Wiener Wagon and Dry Cleaners, Lawrence, Kansas T-Brew’s Cockroach Farm and Pizza Palace, Tulsa, OK Dr. Richard Stephens DDS Roy Thomason Retired Sigma Chi TU

U.S. Open 2022 - Southern Hills!

Faked Out Sports - Bryan in Tulsa

FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

soonerpolitics.org

FOS Exclusive!!!!

Bernie ‘Cool Daddy’ Sanders at TU Basketball game!!!!  WTF!!  Amazingly no one knew he was there!!  Look at the picture closely and you will notice his eyes, when open, are focussed on the Tulsa cheerleading Squad!!

Tulsa Southern Hills lands 2022 PGA Championship!!  

When the PGA punted the Trump-owned golf course for 2022 there was an immediate need for a new club to host!!  Into the picture comes Nick Sadorkis and Southern Hills Country Club on a white horse to save the day and put millions of dollars into the Tulsa economy in 2022!! Already hosting the Senior PGA Championship for 2021, the course is as pristine as ever and will ready in 2022 for the big one!!  B in T will expect course passes, PGA Championship cap and shirt, and a program signed by Tiger!!  Lance and Andre this is your assignment should you accept!!

FOS Bobbleheads:

Watching 4-year-olds play basketball 🏀 a la Herd Mentality is similar to the following:

1. Watching kittens attack a ball of yarn and string!
2. Watching a flock of seagulls chase fish!
3. Watching Pelosi Predator and Alien Trump go for a loose ball in a mud wrestling bout!!
4. Penguins chasing a bird that does not belong to the herd!!
5. Watching FBI and NCAA investigators follow Kansas coach everywhere!!

B in T NL Central Prediction:

  1. Cardinals - good pitching, and now good hitting thanks to Arenedo trade!  The Red Birds made
their greatest trade since getting Lou Brock from the Cubs for Ernie Broglio, Phil Blough and Bobbie Curran in 1964!! Third baseman Nolan Arenedo from Colorado brings a rocky mountain high to the entire Cardinal Nation!!! 

  2. Brewers - some pitching, some hitting

  3. Reds - Votto will be player/coach by midseason

  4. Cubs - pitching and hitting are below average and Sammy Sosa is now Michael Jackson white

  5. Pirates - it all sucks, hitting, pitching and post-game visitor food even sucks

FOS Superbowl Pick:

Chiefs 34 Buccaneers 31

This Superbowl will be played on the home team’s field for the first time in history!!  The pressure is on the Bucs and the husband of super euro model Giselle to win this game!!  Similar to the plot in the movie Christmas Vacation, the Brady’s have put a down payment on a luxurious remote island and Tom must win this game to cover the check he wrote for the exotic island!!  A true story according to many tabloids picked up at the check-out area at your local grocery store!!  Brady simply choked under pressure to Kermit the Frog Mahomes and the

Chiefs!!  The Bucs scored the first 2 touchdowns with Brady passes for a 14 point lead in the first quarter!!  Kansas City then score 24 points in a row with high end Kelce catching 15 passes and two touchdowns!!  The lightning-quick Tyreek Hill seems to be much faster than any player on the field!!  He runs circles around Tampa defenders like a rat in a maze.......possbly on crack and speed!!  No shat!  Kermit Mahones was 5 out of 5 on throws underarm, left-handed, between his legs, and no-look!!  

Superbowl tickets were 11k each unless you were part of the Tyreek Hill posse and thus no questions asked although the metal detector went off 37 times for his brahs!!!  Singer Abel Makkonen Tesfaye which I only know as the dude with the hair is the half-time entertainment!!  Abel, known better by his stage name, The Weeknd, looks like Bruno Mars on steroids and has a different voice pitch than B.M.!!!  

FOS College Basketball Picks:

ORU 82 at North Dakota State 77

The Bison’s team starts with 3 players over 6’8” tall and shoots lights out from the 3 point area!!  The team has no team speed or quickness but great passing and shooting!!  

Tulsa 61 at UCF 59

Tulsa has a shot at the top 4 spots in the conference tournament but needs to continue to win the close ones!  With another close game in Orlando, the home of Mickey and Minnie Mouse, Tulsa’s Elijah Joiner banked in a 27-foot bank shot as the clock hit zeros!!

Oklahoma State 77 Texas 74

Oklahoma State’s Boone twins from Tulsa Memorial combined for 15 points and 23 rebounds!!  The Longhorns have more talent than they know what to do with!!  The student managers would be starters at other schools!!

Oklahoma 81 Iowa State 56

The Sooners rested 3 of their starters and used their left hands against the hopeless, hapless, and luckless Clones!!

Have a great sports week!

Bryan in Tulsa - Faked Out Sports

by B in T - FakedOutSports, syndicated in SoonerPolitics.org

B, in T

Sponsors: Andre Tourihno, Golf and Fitness Expert, Southern Hills Colin Magruder, Mtg Broker, Evolve Bank Speedling Inc., Leon Zinc III Uncle Thurston, Dallas, Tx Steve’s Happy Dog Home, Sherri Watson & Christina Morrill, United Country Landrum Realty, Inc. Chris Taylor, sports writer FanSided

Bob’s Bail Bonds and Car Wash (Chicago, IL) Big Brother Bill’s Psychic Palm Reading and Bed & Breakfast (Tulsa, OK) MR Bait, Fishing Tackle and Homemade Fudge Shop (Boulder, CO) Weh’s Wiener Wagon and Dry Cleaners, Lawrence, Kansas T-Brew’s Cockroach Farm and Pizza Palace, Tulsa, OK Dr. Richard Stephens DDS Roy Thomason Retired Sigma Chi TU

Stoop Family Thanksgiving

Faked Out Sports - Bryan in Tulsa

FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

soonerpolitics.org

Bobblehead Sports:

I had the opportunity to see both my grandkid play basketball in the same night last week!  This is considered a ‘night on the town’ for Mimi and Papa!!  Ana dominated in her 4-year-old game making 4 of her team’s 5 baskets!  In Gustavo’s nightcap game Papa received a technical foul from his wife and daughter for being too loud!!  Both the rugrats came over the next day and presented a contract for Papa to sign agreeing to BE QUIET at their games in the future!!  If not, I must stay home and watch 48 Hours on TV!!  Contract attached:

FOS Notes:

Next Stoops Family Thanksgiving:

Fired former DC at Oklahoma, Mike Stoops is rumored to be the new linebackers coach forthe Texas Shorthorns!!  The dining room at the Stoops home will be lit up with football chatter during Thanksgiving dinner!!  OU receiver Drake Stoops and nephew of Mike will ask Uncle Mike to pass the mashed potatoes where he will accidentally on purpose drop them in Uncle’s lap!!  Legendary former Sooner coach Bob Stoops just sits at the head of the table and releases a wicked chuckle and leads the Stoop clan with a thunderous round of Boomer Sooner!!  Mike and Erin Stoops left the Thanksgiving 🍗 function early and finished dinner at the Norman Western Sizzler in their burnt orange Texas sweaters!!  Coach Mike is also rumored to be on the shortlist to be the next defensive coordinator at NEO, Tahlequah!!  He sent his resume to NOC, Tonkawa but they have no football team!!  

Rumor Mill continued:

Rumors on the Dan Patrick Show and TMZ are HOT about Tennessee  Football!!  The assistant coaches at Tennessee handed out the money in McDonald's paper sacks as part of their recruiting spiel!!  There was nothing hidden and it was well known and expected by some Volunteers recruits!  The only difference from the Tulsa University late ’70s recruiting was the sacks for football recruits had actual McDonald Quarter pounders and fries in them!!

Where is TU All everything, Zaven Collins, playing Pro Football?

Cleveland Browns -  Baker and Zaven against the world!!  Cold weather, very plain city but they love their football!!

Kansas City Chiefs - the Chiefs need defense and linebackers specifically!!  Great barbecue city but no NBA basketball!!  No major league baseball either!  Oh wait, forgot the Royals!!  I think they are triple-A.

New Orleans Saints - Going from Hominy, Oklahoma to Bourbon street in New Orleans would be tough for most but Zaven is so grounded!!   I believe he will invite his old friend Bryan in Tulsa for Beignets and Hurricane drinks!!

Jacksonville Jaguars - Trevor Lawrence, Urban Meyer and Zaven Collins will make a great combination and a FOS Super Bowl projection for 2023!!

Miami Dolphins - Zaven has received 5 letters and notes from former Dolphins QB Dan Marino describing the Miami area as the best place to live in America!!  He also sent an autographed picture of himself and Jim Carrey in ‘Ace Ventura:  Pet Detective’!!

FOS Baseball Notes:

My Redbird’s Busch Stadium will allow 8,000 to 12,000 fans per game!!  With all the moves the Cardinals have NOT made this offseason 8,000 fans is a stretch!  Watching Matt Carpenter bat leadoff makes me long for the days of speedsters Willie McGee and Vince Coleman!!

FOS Big Dance in Indiana Projections:

Oklahoma - 90% - 7 Seed - OU coach Kruger is such a nice guy that all of Indiana wants him to play at their school facility!!

Oklahoma State - 92% - 8 seed if pardoned by Biden for NCAA violations 10 years ago!  WTF!  F=frick

Arkansas - 70% - 9 seed play in game!  The Razorback fans have gone hog wild over their basketball!!

Tulsa - 40% - second last 4 not to get in the NCAA Tourney!!  B in T projecting Tulsa to be 2 seed in the National Invitational Tournament in Fargo, North Dakota!

Oral Roberts - 50%- finally beats the large sycamore trees of the Dakotas and wins the postseason tournament!  Automatic bid and Hallelujah!!  The Prayer Tower works!!

FOS College Basketball Picks:

Big 12 - SEC Challenge:

Oklahoma 70 Alabama 65

The Sooners can beat the Tide basketball team but in football, the Sooners are a punching bag for the Tide!!  The Sooners are Grump Saban's biiooootch!!  Sooner coach Lon Kruger is the most delightful man in the history of college basketball coaches!!  On senior day he brought monogrammed tissues for each senior mom who balled!!  Ok, well, OU defeated the Tide with a barrage of 3s in the second half!!  Look out for these two teams in the big dance!!  

Oklahoma State 84 Arkansas 79

Hog’s coach Eric Musselman and Poke’s coach Eric Boynton are a couple of B in T‘s fav coaches!!  I like the way they handle themselves in public!  Each are eloquent and passionate at their craft!!  

Tennessee 74 Kansas 68

Kansas continues to play it’s NCAA seed into the play-in game at a high school somewhere in Indiana!!  Coach Self is good friends with Tennessee coach Rick Barnes from their Big 12 days!!  Both of the coaches decided to take their wives and attend dinner at Calhoun’s by the River!!  THE hot spot in Knoxville!!  Coach Barnes accepted the tab due to coach Self’s Jayhawk credit card is frozen by the NCAA investigations!!

Illinois 78 Iowa 77

Iowa's Luka Garza is destined to be the OKC Thunder’s next Steven Adams but with a nice shooting touch!!  The Illini Kofi Cockburn can score in bunches and he lit the Hawkeyes up for 24 and 11 rebounds. 

Tulsa 68 at East Carolina 61

Big game for the Hurricane who has been off for 2 weeks due to Coronavirus by their opponents!  Tulsa’s Brandon Rachel went crazy and scored 32 of TU’s 68 points with 8 rebounds, 4 assists, and 4 steals!!  Giant cardboard cutouts of Jerry Ososki and his stud son, Owen who just signed with Tulsa had to be placed on the second level so other cardboard fans could see!!  The Ostroski cardboard family travels with the basketball team as cardboard security!!  True shat!  Wikipedia it!!

Have a great sports week!

Faked Out Sports/Bryan in Tulsa

 

by B in T - FakedOutSports, syndicated in SoonerPolitics.org

B, in T

Sponsors: Andre Tourihno, Golf and Fitness Expert, Southern Hills Colin Magruder, Mtg Broker, Evolve Bank Speedling Inc., Leon Zinc III Uncle Thurston, Dallas, Tx Steve’s Happy Dog Home, Sherri Watson & Christina Morrill, United Country Landrum Realty, Inc. Chris Taylor, sports writer FanSided

Bob’s Bail Bonds and Car Wash (Chicago, IL) Big Brother Bill’s Psychic Palm Reading and Bed & Breakfast (Tulsa, OK) MR Bait, Fishing Tackle and Homemade Fudge Shop (Boulder, CO) Weh’s Wiener Wagon and Dry Cleaners, Lawrence, Kansas T-Brew’s Cockroach Farm and Pizza Palace, Tulsa, OK Dr. Richard Stephens DDS Roy Thomason Retired Sigma Chi TU